Before - Legends Diary of an Alleged Jedi (Zayne Carrick, 2012 Diary Challenge) Updated 3/17

Title: Diary of an Alleged Jedi
Part of: Diary Challenge 2012
Timeframe: 3,964 BBY and forward
Characters: Zayne Carrick, Jarael, Gryph, others from the Knights of the Old Republic comic series
Obligatory Disclaimer: I don't own the material. The characters and much of the plot are owned by Lucasfilm and John Jackson Miller.

Author's Notes: My first attempt at writing fanfic. Accordingly, this is basically just going to be Zayne's diary through the KotOR comics; nothing too fancy here. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to do anything with the KotOR: War miniseries yet. There will be some original plot mixed in occasionally, but not much. For the sake of chaos and my sanity, new entries will be posted whenever I feel like it, not on any fixed schedule (which probably wouldn't be kept anyway), though I'll obviously need to meet the two-per-month requirement of the Diary Challenge.

This diary will also be posted on the Star Wars Fanon Wiki, to allow a choice of reading methods and so that users who fall behind or join late can easily catch up with having to scroll through comments. All entries will be linked from [link=http://swfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Diary_of_an_Alleged_Jedi]this article[/link].

PM List:
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=1317982]Diary_Challenge_Sock[/link]
[link=http://boards.theforce.net/PrivateMessages/SendMessage.aspx?usr=1148811]Jedi_Lover[/link]

Let me know in this thread if you want to be added to this list.

 

Entry number: 1
Entry mode: verbal

Hello, I'm Zayne Carrick. I'm 18 years old and reside in the Jedi Tower on Taris. Some claim I'm a Jedi, but I'm not so sure. I know I'm somewhat sensitive to the Force, but not very much, and it doesn't seem to want me to succeed. My Master said a few weeks ago that I'm "living proof that the Force has a sense of humor." Way to increase my confidence. *sigh* Anyway, in an attempt to reduce my frustration, my Master suggested keeping a diary of my feelings, in the theory that putting them in words will help me control them. So that's what I'm going to do here.

Wait a minute: why am I going into this long-winded introduction? Nobody's ever going to read this except myself and Master Lucien, so why bother? I'm going to cut it here; I've got a tip on "the Gryph", as he's known. Maybe seventh time's the charm on him. Or maybe I'll never catch him. With me, you never know!

?END OF ENTRY?

 

I love the "Wait a minute...why am I going into this long winded introduction?"

Can I be put on a pm list? I am never in the Before the Saga forum, but I am doing the diary challenge also and I want to follow the diaries of some of the other participants. Thanks!

 

Zayne! He really needs more fanfics. And Lucien Draay should have taken his own advice there. Journal out all those issues of his.

 

Jedi_Lover: Yeah, why do people introduce themselves in diaries? I've never understood that. Diaries are usually meant to be private, so you're essentially introducing yourself to yourself. What's the point in it? (And you're on the PM list!)

Kahara: Lucien definitely could have used some therapy.

New entry in a few minutes!

 

Entry number: 2
Entry mode: typed

Seven tries, seven failures. I'm getting frustrated. This time, I had a firm grasp of his arm; he wasn't going anywhere. But then my robe got stuck as I was trying to find the cuffs, and he took the opportunity to punch a button on my speeder and send it?with me still attached?flying over a ledge. I'm still kicking myself for losing the cuffs. Only the intervention of some Jedi named "Squint" saved me from falling all the way to the Undercity.

Turns out this "Squint" was looking for Jedi to join the war against the Mandalorians. He definitely didn't care for my Masters' disdain for the war or their focus on the long-gone Sith. I agree with him on that. What puzzled me was his prediction that I would be somehow an important figure; I think he meant in the war. I think he was trying to claim he had a Force vision, but I think it's more likely he was so high on spice he was hallucinating. I can't imagine being a major player in any galactic event. In all likelihood, I'll never amount to anything and just end up another Jedi washout. Of course, if that happens, I could very well end up drafted into the war, which would be why I'm still trying to do everything I can to not wash out, even though it's probably futile at this point.

At any rate, I have a major test coming up. We're going to the rogue moon, where we'll have to navigate through the meteors with only the Force. Doesn't sound very fun, but it's probably my last shot at Knighthood. Not that I ever had a realistic shot at that anyway.

?END OF ENTRY?

 

Zayne needs to have a little more confidence in his abilities. If you don't believe you can do something, then you will fail.

 

Yep, Zayne doesn't have much in the way of confidence right now. That will change eventually, though.

New entry in a few minutes!

 

Entry number: 3
Entry mode: typed

Well, I'm not sure whether to call that a success or failure. I did make it through the meteors back to where my Masters were located, but I was the last to arrive. It took me half a day to get there. Does my success prove I can be a Knight? Nah, I think that's just dreaming. The simple fact that it took me so long suggests to me that I'm not cut out for this.

Right now, my Masters have confined themselves in the top of the Tower. They've been up there for two days. I don't know what they're doing. Maybe they're trying to decide who will be knighted. It probably won't be me. Anyway, I've got a criminal to figure out how to catch. I've got an idea...

?END OF ENTRY?

 

Okay, I'm about to slap Zayne upside the head. "Snap out of it!" Don't be so pessimistic. I was always told a landing you walk away from is a good landing. I think the same goes for navigating through a field of meteors...if you make it that is an accomplishment. And the Masters may be up in the Tower playing strip sabbac for all he knows. Why does he think they are there deciding he shouldn't be a Jedi.

Let's hope he catches his criminal. That should boost morale.

 

Yeah, but Zayne at this point hasn't had anything go his way for a while. Unfortunately for him, things will have to get worse before they begin to get better.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I lost my muse. It was last seen in mid-January. If found, please return it to this thread. Thank you.

New post in a few minutes. This will be the last post before Zayne's life gets turned upside down.

 

Entry number: 4
Entry mode: verbal

*sigh* Things are going from bad to worse. I failed again. That kriffing Gryph dumped something all over me that smells horrible, then resisted a mind trick and kicked me off a ladder, causing me to fall through the traffic lanes again. I swear gravity hates me. I ended up crashing through the window of a restaurant only to get nine lightsabers in the face. Turns out it was the restaurant where my Masters were holding the knighting banquet for the families. Yeah, just my luck.

Anyway, the table I landed on collapsed after a few seconds, and now I have to pay for all the damages?the table and the window. The manager's taking forever to calculate the damages. I wish he'd just give me an estimate so I can pay and get going. The ceremony's in just under an hour. If he doesn't hurry up, I'm going to miss it. Not like there's any reason for me to be there anyway.

?END OF ENTRY?

 

I am starting to think the Force is a practical joker when it comes to Zayne.

 

LOL! I've always thought the same thing!

In an attempt to resurrect my muse, I'm going to try weekly posts for a while instead of bi-weekly, in hopes that the quickly shrinking buffer will force me to begin writing again. We'll see if it works.

Coming up in a few minutes, Zayne's life will never be the same again!

 

Entry number: 5
Entry mode: verbal

[sound of heavy breathing] Maybe this should be Diary of an Alleged Murderer now.

I finally captured Gryph, but I was running late for the so-called "ceremony", so I cuffed him to my speeder bike and went into the Tower. What I saw next will be burned into my brain forever. I'm just going to be blunt: My Masters killed my fellow Padawans. I don't know how; I don't know why. All I know is that when I walked into the room, Shad, Kamlin, Oojoh, and Gharn were lying on the floor at the Masters' feet, dead from lightsaber wounds. Why?

I escaped with Gryph and we've now found a safe spot. Well, safe for now. Gryph's looking for something over there; I don't know what. In the meantime, all of Taris is after both of us, what with our faces being plastered all over the city. Gryph says he's got an idea for a better hiding place?

[voice identified as that of Marn Hierogryph] Got it!

And I have no clue what he's going to do with it. Anyway, I still don't know?

[voice of Marn Hierogryph] Look, intern, stop yakking into that datapad and let's get moving or somebody's going to find us!

*sigh* Yeah, I guess we should keep moving.

?END OF ENTRY?

 

That is one time it was good to be fashionably late. Those are some strict masters.

 

Yep, Zayne's own ineptitude saved him.

Coming up next, Zayne is on the run!

 

Entry number: 6
Entry mode: typed

OK, let me see if I can figure out what's happened here. Right now, I'm on board the junk hauler Last Resort in the Taris system's asteroid field. How did I get here? I could probably write a holonovel about that, but I don't have time to.

This old beater has a working comm. Everybody else is resting. I'm seriously considering pulling this thing out of the asteroids long enough to contact Master Vandar at the Dantooine academy. The problem is that doing so could attract unwanted attention. I'm trying to decide if it's worth the risk.

While I think about that, I'm going to try to recap what's happened since my last entry. Gryph and I hid in a Kedorzhan pub. I thought that was crazy at first, but it turns out they were all essentially blind, so we stayed there for a while. Then I asked Gryph to get us off-planet. He laid a false trail to the Undercity and after surviving a run-in with a gang, took us to a junkyard, where we met Jarael and Camper. They didn't want anything to do with us at first, but eventually they let us escape in their ship when the constable and my Masters showed up. That brings me to where I am now.

Anyway, back in that pub was where I realized the problem: My Masters hate the Sith, but Jedi aren't allowed to hate. Something's off, and I should have seen it before. They were afraid of... something. I don't know what, but I need to find out. I decided that I need to retrace my training to figure it out. I need to know why they did this. That's my purpose right now. The only question is where to begin.

I think I'm going to start by contacting Dantooine. They've probably already heard what happened from my Masters, but they need to hear the truth. If any Jedi will believe me, Master Vandar will.

?END OF ENTRY?

 

Let's hope Master Vandar hasn't also gone bad.

By the way, I have never read the KotOR comics and I am unfamiliar with the characters, so if I make a comment that sounds really stupid it is because I have no clue as to who these people are. It would be like somebody who never heard of Mara Jade and is reading a Luke/Mara fanfic and saying "I bet Mara is really Sith and is going to kill Luke!" and then at the end of the fic they are surprised the couple ended up married.