Saga Diary of an X-wing (ESB humour) -- Chapter 2 is up! 10/28

I don't think the xwing is mormon, just the designer. Oh my heck!

 

ROFL!!!!!

That was hilarious!

 

*counts on fingers* Okay, it's been a week! By Incom, we need more!

And whatever you do, please don't let our poor little hero end up with Hobbie "Crash" Klivian!

 

[face_shocked] Oh my! So many replies... I'm beyond flattered now, this is amazing! Thank you so much, all of you. It's wonderful to know that your fic is being read and enjoyed. I sure enjoy writing it.

Anyway, sorry for not replying earlier, but I've been in Stockholm for the annual sci-fi, game and toy convention. (I got to meet Gollum! Yay! ). The second chapter will be up shortly, I just need to read through it again and make sure that it's JC-friendly.

 

This is amazing!

YubYub and TG- Protecting fangirls from hormonally gifted fanboys since 2002

 

Chapter 2


IN SPACE: EN ROUTE TO BESPIN


Finally. Back in space, flying along nicely. Far away from snakes, wrinkled frogs and slime. What more could a T-65 wish for? Well, new extruder valves would be nice for a start.

***

Off into hyperspace. Wonder if we're meeting up with the Falcon. She's kinda cute. Not too bright though, you have to talk reeeaaally sloooow. Always a blast to make fun of her; she'll buy anything. Once convinced her that disconnecting the hyperdrive would give her access to all the juicy stuff on the base computer. Heh. Wonder how that turned out?

What's the rush anyway? I'm a starfighter, not some cheap express cargo hauler.

***

OK, I'm bored. Are we there yet?

***

Still flying along and still very, very bored. Tried playing "I spy" with the R2 unit. Stupid little tin can sucked at it of course. The "S" was obviously Stars, the only darn things we see around here. "Psychotic starfighter" isn't even spelled with an S.

***

Booooooored. Faked short circuit to set off proton torpedo. Didn't hit anything, as there is not one bloody thing around to hit out here. Got yelled at and called a lot of unpleasant things. R2 unit thought "malfunctioning heap of Jawa reject" was especially funny. Sulked and created mental image of turning the droid into an egg boiler. Felt better.

***

Bored. Ignored. Outscored. Cut cord.
I should be a poet.

***

Discovered that "bored" also rhymes with "sword". Fantasized for a while about cutting off my pilots right hand to stop him from fidgeting with my controls all the time. Started to giggle uncontrollably. R2-unit asked what was so funny. Said I was planning to eject him on the first planet I could find that was inhabited by Jawas. Made him shut up.

***

Not bored anymore. Am now suicidally bored.

***

That's it, I've had it. If we're not there soon I'll fake a major malfunction and force him to make an emergency landing, I don't care where. Anything is bett-- hey, wait a minute. Is he doing what I.. all right! We're coming out of hyperspace! Not a minute too soon.

Ooh, look. Pretty. Hope we're going there. Bespin, huh? Nice name. I have a good feeling about this. My pilot still seems edgy though. Stupid humans. What's their problem?

Hope they have a decent ground grew. I could kill for an oil change.

 

Sooo cool!!

I loved how the X-wing acted like a little child. "Are we there yet??" I'm still laughing!

More, more!!

 

Still soooo funny! I liked how it made fun of the Falcon.

 

mmmmm vehicles with minds of their own. . .


I can just imagine my car.

:: Gosh Dang nab it is she letting her mom control me again . . . . at lest we are going somewhere else. . . not school home school home up the hill down the hill dang it. . . we're going to work again. . . and again and again. .. . ::

 

OK, I'm bored. Are we there yet?
***
"Psychotic starfighter" isn't even spelled with an S.

hee hee!

I love this story! Great job!

-Katie
Thumper

 

Bored. Ignored. Outscored. Cut cord.
I should be a poet.

Not bored anymore. Am now suicidally bored.

ROTFLOL!!!

It's rare that a post really makes me laugh out loud, but this one did. This story is such a gem!

Wonderful!

 

*flipping through manual* Hm, is "making mod hyperventilate with hysterics" a bannable offense? No? Oh, well...

Once convinced her that disconnecting the hyperdrive would give her access to all the juicy stuff on the base computer. Heh. Wonder how that turned out?

!!!!!!! I can't begin to tell you how hard I laughed.

And I loved the "kill for an oil change" line. Am a bit worried that it's channeling my Subaru...

Glad you enjoyed Stockholm, but now that you're back, can we be greedy and ask for more? Though I'm not sure I'll survive it...

 

*Laughs so hard that tears begin falling.*

 

Are we there yet? Loved it, yet again. Poor starfighter - bored, bored, bored! He should start playing games with his pilot - you know, keep him on his toes...maybe jolt him a bit with a little faulty wiring to the seat - give Luke something to wake him up!!

So now they're headed towards Bespin. Oh, oh! Hope the Imperials don't get hold of the fiesty ship!!!

Great job!

 

I laughed so hard I was afraid I would stop breathing!! I think I even scared my puppy away.


More -please. This is just hysterical!

 

More story!

Wonder if we're meeting up with the Falcon. She's kinda cute. Not too bright though, you have to talk reeeaaally sloooow.

LOL! I must admit, I never thought of the Falcon that way before.

Faked short circuit to set off proton torpedo.

So that's what's behind ship malfunctions...

That's it, I've had it. If we're not there soon I'll fake a major malfunction and force him to make an emergency landing, I don't care where. Anything is bett-- hey, wait a minute. Is he doing what I.. all right! We're coming out of hyperspace!

ROTFLOL! I can absolutely hear the ship saying this. Have I mentioned that I love this story?

 

Oh my fricking flap! That was even funnier than the first one. The Falcon observations, the part about disconnecting the hyperdrive to get the juicy stuff from the base computer (I wonder how that worked out, heeeheee), "Fantasized for a while about cutting off...his right hand..." YAY!

 

Once convinced her that disconnecting the hyperdrive would give her access to all the juicy stuff on the base computer.



And cutting off Luke's right hand...little does he know!

What's going to happen to our little X-wing on Bespin? [face_shocked]

 

Sulked and created mental image of turning the droid into an egg boiler. Felt better.

HA!!!!!!!!

You know, I never thought about it this way, but I would HATE to be a machine that had to spend a lot of time with R2. He doesn't seem...shall we say, a delightfully exillerating coversing antagonist??

R2: Can you play checkers??
Ship: Shut up, I'm in the middle of a difficult landing.
R2: You and what army?? This landing would be simpler if you tried steering, you know, with that little knob thing??
Ship: Shut up.
R2: In fact, if you would just let Luke at it...
*ship brakes in middle of sharp curve jamming every control and knocking Luke out* Ship: If I could only get my torpedos on you...

*shutting up*

 

ROTFL!
This was hilarious!
Wonder if we're meeting up with the Falcon. She's kinda cute.
Yes, the Falcon is a real sweetie, isn't she?
"Psychotic starfighter" isn't even spelled with an S.


More, please!

 

Ok, it's been a week since last update. I demand an update until I get home later this evening. Or I will tell everyone which thread to visit to really torture you... Or maybe just tell your other readers how to do it in this thread...



By the way, is there no reader who noticed that R2 whishes for something that doesn't exist?

 

Good lord.. I had a car like this...

Well, new extruder valves would be nice for a start.


She had a built in money detector.. any time I got a bit of 'extra cash' the MMD (Maverick money detector) would go off and it would break something almost directly proportionate to the amount of 'extra money' I had...

 

OOOO! ::laughs til his face implodes:: I havn't read anything like this since the Everything That Can Go Wrong series! Love this idea, and how you're writing it! Keep up the good work!

~Dot

 

This is a priceless Gem.

 

I love it when someone does something completely innovative with the GFFA. This is such an original idea and it's SO funny! If the droids are sentient, why not the ships? Great job, JediLynx - can't wait for more!

Shaindl