Discussion in 'Non Star Wars Fan Fiction' started by Chancellor_Ewok, Jun 2, 2019.
Well, here’s a clue. Dr. Diminutive has an absolutely raging Napoleon complex.
Oh ho, I hear echoes of Wild Wild West's Dr. Miguelito Loveless!!
Yeah, kind of......
Episode Sixty Six
The last notes of Fat died away and the stages light went dark. Everyone applauded loudly. Milo and Amanda could just see the shadowy form of Weird Al doffing the fat suit and handing it to one of the stage hands who who hustled off stage with it. The lights came back up again, and Weird Al launched into Tacky.
Wear my Ed Hardy shirt with fluorescent orange pants
Got my new resume, it’s printed in Comic Sans
Think is fun threatening waiters with a bad Yelp review
If you think that’s than you’re probably tacky too
He was about half way through the song, when everything began to go sideways. The overhead video screen, which had been playing a series of absurd images in time to the music, was suddenly replaced by the image of a small man in a white lab coat. At the same moment the concert’s sound system went dead. Milo could here people around him whispering to each other and laughing. They clearly thought that this was part of the show. Milo cast a glance up at the stage. Weird Al, his bandmates and the conductor of the orchestra seemed to have realized that something had gone wrong with the sound system.
Milo was intently watching Weird Al when Amanda leaned over and whispered in his ear. “Is this you?” she asked.
Milo had been wondering the same thing. “I’m not sure,” he replied after a moment’s thought, “I suppose the sound system might be,” he gestured to the video screen overhead, “I’m pretty sure that isn’t.”
Before he could say anything else, a high pitched voice boomed out of the overhead speakers. “Citizens of Danville! It is I your rightful overlord, Dr. Diminutive of the League of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United for Frightening Investments in Naughtiness.”
Milo thought for and then laughed in spite of himself, “LOVEMUFFIN?” he asked with a chuckle. Amanda burst out laughing in response. “There’s a league of supervillain called LOVEMUFFIN?!”
Milo laughed again. “Shouldn’t they be called DOOM or FEAR or fear or something?”
“Not very intimidating,” asked Amanda, “is he?”
Dr. Diminutive was still speaking. “You are all now my obedient servants. Anyone who does not do exactly as I command will feel the power of my Shrinkinizor.” At these words, Dr. Diminutive pushed a button. The sound of rending metal and shattering plexiglass filled the arena as a long slender needle thrust down through the bottom of the video screens. A high energy whine filled the arena and a bright blue beam of energy shot out of the business end of the Shrinkinizor and into the crowd. The air was suddenly electric and Milo felt the hair on his arms stand up. Half shielding his eyes from the high powered glare, Milo instinctively turned his head as the beam of energy lanced into the crowd. Several sections of the arena’s upper bowl suddenly glowed with a hazy blue light. After a second or two, they disappeared with a comical POP!
A loud gasp arose from the assembled crowd. There appeared to be an empty space where three sections of seats had been a few seconds before. Milo and Amanda turned and looked at each other. They were both clearly thinking the same thing. “What was that?” she asked wide eyed.
“Definitely not me,” replied Milo. A sudden thought struck him. “What about Mort and Joni?” he asked. His eyes automatically went to the upper tiers of the stadium’s seating. I hope they’re alright, he thought. Milo’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Dr. Diminutive laughing maniacally.
“As you can see,” he said with evil glee, “I have all of you in my power. I want one hundred million dollars and the complete and unquestioned surrender of the Danville Tristate Area.” He paused dramatically to let his demands sink in. The arena was filled with hissing whispers as the reality of the situation began to sink in. “You have one hour to comply. If my demands are not met, I will shrink everyone in Danville, starting with all the people in this arena.”
Amanda turned to Milo again. Her eyes were wide. “Milo, what should we do?” she asked.
No sooner had Dr. Diminutive appeared on the overhead TV screen, than Brick and Savannah swung into action. Without saying a word, the two time agents unceremoniously pulled off their uniforms and stuffed them in the nearest trash can. Savannah was dressed in a floor length satin ball gown and matching boots. Brick straightened his bow tie. His tuxedo was perfectly pressed. The concession stand manager was a sixteen year old kid. His name tag said his name was Jeremy. He stared at them wide eyed. “Where are you going?” he asked, eyeing their get up. They looked like they were going out to a fancy restaurant. “I mean shouldn’t we hide or call the police or something?”
“This is beyond the police,” replied Savannah with a shake of her head.
“But you should definitely stay here,” said Brick.
“You’ll be safer here,” and with that they left.
On the arena floor Milo eyed the Shrinkinizor apprehensively. He took a deep breath, trying to remain calm. He ran the situation through his mind one more time. OK, he thought, you’re trapped at a Weird Al concert with Amanda by a nutcase with some sort of inator who wants to take over the Tristate Area. He had been thinking about the situation for at least the last ten minutes. Well, Brick and Savannah are here, he thought. That has to mean something, but what? Milo wasn’t sure. He’d had a couple of runs with the two time agents, and knew that they were colleagues of Cavendish and Dakota, but beyond that, Milo didn’t know them very well.
He looked around again. Odd, he thought, there don’t seem to be any goons. Milo hesitated for half a second, as if expecting something to happen. When nothing did, he grabbed Amanda’s wrist and stood up. “Milo,” she said surprised, as she scrambled to her feet. “what are you doing?”
“Going to find Brick and Savannah,” he replied simply as he edged his way along the row toward the aisle, trying not to step on anybody’s feet. He was about as successful as he had been when he had sat down half an hour ago.
Milo reached the end of the row and turned up the aisle, with Amanda trailing in his wake, hurrying to catch up. “Milo,” she said, catching up with up him as he strode determinedly up the aisle, “where are we going? And who are Brick and Savannah?” She was slightly out of breath, having had to run to catch up to him.
“We’re going to find a couple of-,” he paused, wondering how to describe Brick and Savannah. “Well, put it this way you remember the Murphy’s Law incident at the Build-a-Bot contest last year?”
They had reached the main concourse. Amanda thought for a second, trying to remember. “You mean that thing with Dr. Doofenshmirtz and that red light bulb?” she asked.
Milo nodded. “Yeah,” he replied, “that was the incident, anyway, somehow, I guess because, well they are time travellers after all, Melissa showed up with Savannah at the science fair right before everything went haywire and they were able to stop the giant robot before thing got too out of control.”
“And what makes you think they’re here?” asked Amanda.
“Because I ran into them at the snack counter, selling pistachios,” replied Milo. He shrugged. “I’m kind of spitballing, but-,” Amanda finished his sentence for him.
“-maybe they know something,” she said.
They reached the snack counter. It was empty. Milo wasn’t really surprised by that. He supposed that they were either lying low, waiting for the right moment to strike or were investigating Dr. Diminutive’s Shrinkinizor or something.
“So now what do we do?”asked Amanda.
Milo thought for a second. “Maybe they left a clue.” He shrugged. He was forced to admit to himself that he was spitballing again. He walked around the corner and quickly found the service door, He ignored the sign that said “Employees Only” and tried the door handle. Predictably, it came loose in his hand. Milo thrust a hand over his shoulder and deposited the broken door handle into his backpack. He pushed open the door and stepped inside. His nostrils were immediately assaulted by the smell of hotdogs and overcooked french fries.
Milo stepped into the kitchen. There was a large induction griddle and several deep fryers along one wall. The other wall occupied by a food prep counter and several stacked pizza ovens. The cramped space was slightly hot. Milo turned and went through another door. There was a wall separating the cash registers from the kitchen. No soon had Milo gone through the door than the soda fountain burst. Dark, sticky soda bubbled over and collected on the floor in a puddle. Trying not to step in the spreading puddle soda pop on floor, lest he slip, Milo walked from one end of the counter to the other. He was hunched over, rummaging through the various boxes of printer tape and drink trays scattered under the counter. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was supposed to be looking for. He spied something stuffed into a trash can. He pulled it out. It was a Slushy Dawg uniform. The name gage pinned to the uniform read “John Bricklinn,” and Milo briefly wondered if that was Brick’s actual name or just a cover identity for this particular mission. Milo frowned to himself. This is isn’t particularly helpful, he thought. He already knew they were here, but where they had gone, he didn’t know. Through the order window, Milo heard the sound of Amanda rummaging around in the kitchen. For a second he wondered if he should go back there and help her, but thought better of it. Me in there with propane and hot grease? he thought, bad idea, but no sooner than this thought had occurred to him, did Amanda call to him from the back of the kitchen.
“Milo,” she said, “I found someone back here.”
Milo stood up. “Really?” he asked, “who is it?” He turned and started back toward the door that lead back into the kitchen, his initial concern about the various hazards of the kitchen forgotten. He pushed open the door and made his way past the deep friers, the griddle and the pizza ovens. A sixteen year old blond boy with neatly parted hair stepped out from behind some shelves.
Jeremy Johnson gaped at the sight of his cousin. “Milo?” he asked in amazement, “what are you doing here?”
“Hi Jeremy,” said Milo casually, as if being stuck a Weird Al concert turned hostage situation by an evil scientist was perfectly normal. “This was supposed to be a birthday gift, but, well-,” Milo trailed off and shrugged.
“Ummm…..Milo,” said Amanda, “we need to find Brick and Savannah, remember?”
“Huh,” he said, “oh right, Jeremy I don’t suppose you happened to see anything out of the ordinary?”
Jeremy paused for a moment, thinking. “Wait, ordinary weird, or Murphy’s Law weird?”
“Murphy’s Law weird,” replied Milo at once.
Jeremy looked thoughtful again, “well actually we had these two new employees,” he said, “but they were really strange, like they the kept asking if the AI was malfunctioning. Then that weird guy appeared on the TV and all of a sudden they took their uniforms off. You should have seen them. They looked like something right out of a Krill Hunter movie. He was wearing a tuxedo and she was wearing a long dress.” He paused for a second, trying to dredge up any additional details. “I think their names were Brick and Savannah.”
“Yeah, that sounds like them,” replied Milo with a nod.
Jeremy’s eyebrows went up, “wait you know them?” he asked and Milo shrugged
“Well, not exactly,” he replied, “but we need to find them. They’re time travellers from the future. We think they might know what all this is about.”
Jeremy gestured over his shoulder with a nod of his head. “There’s a door back here,” he said. “I think they went this way.”
“Come on,” said Milo. He pushed past the other two and opened the door. It fell off its hinges and landed on the floor with a dull thud. Everyone flinched. “Come on,” he said again. “Somebody’s bound to have heard that.”
Episode Sixty Seven
Milo, Amanda and Jeremy stepped out into the hallway that ran behind the concession stands. Milo shut the door behind him. The corridor was painted a dull grey. It was lit with utilitarian fluorescent lights. The floor, which consisted of linoleum tiles the blue and purple of the Danville Marmots, was heavily scuffed. The three of them started walking. They had gone perhaps ten feet, when a loud bang shook the hallway. Milo’s eardrums throbbed violently in his skull and he turned to watch the door he had just closed embed itself, bent and crumpled in the opposite wall. Thick smoke poured out of the open door and Milo heard the sound of rushing water as the sprinkler system kicked in. He turned to Amanda and Jeremy and started walking. “Come on,” he said, “somebody definitely noticed that.”
High over the arena floor, somebody had noticed the explosion. Dr. Diminutive turned to his two goons. “What was that?” he snapped. The bigger one had opened a laptop and was rapidly inputting a string of commands. “Don’t know, Doc,” he said. They could clearly hear the wail of the building’s fire alarms. After a second or two, he pulled up the security feed. “Hey,” he said, “look at this! I think I found something.”
Dr. Diminutive immediately scuttled over to stand by his side. “What is it?” he snapped impatiently. “Let me see it.” The bigger man stepped aside. Dr. Diminutive peered at the screen. He was on just tall enough see it. He watched as three figures left what appeared to be a kitchen, which exploded short afterward. Who are they? he wondered,OWCA? The Time Bureau? Whoever they were, they were ruining his plan. He turned to his two goons. “Find them and bring them here immediately.”
Richard Chase was just washing up after dinner when the call came. His phone rang. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at his screen. His call display read “Wentworth, Mike.” He frowned to himself, Mike Wentworth was the captain of Division 14. Division 14 contained the Danville Fire Department’s MLRT, the Murphy’s Law Response Team. The purpose of the MLRT was to clean up any Murphy’s Law related accidents in Danville. If Mike was calling him at this hour, then it must be big. He tapped his screen and put his phone to his ear. “Talk to me,” he said.
“Chief, we’ve received a report of a fire at Danville Arena,” said Wentworth.
Richard frowned slightly. “Well, we are firefighters Mike,” he chided gently, “it comes with the job description.”
“Yeah, I know Chief,” replied Wentworth, “that’s not why I called you.”
At these words, something in Richard’s brain clicked into gear. He had a feeling that he could guess what Mike was going to say next. In the same instant, he was suddenly aware of a pair of eyes boring into a spot between his shoulder blades and Richard realized thar Melissa had been listening to his conversation. Richard turned his attention back to his phone. Mike was still speaking. “We picked up something on one of the police bands.”
“Yeah, what was it?”
“We picked multiple 9-1-1 calls made from inside the arena,” Wentworth continued. “Looks like a hostage situation.”
Richard heard a sharp intake of breath behind him as Melissa gasped. “OK,” replied Richard calmly, “activate Pumper #9 and Ladder Company 14. I’ll meet you on scene.”
“Got it Chief.”
Richard put his phone away. He turned to Melissa, who had paused in the act of drying a dish. “Sorry honey,” said Richard. “A situation has come up and I have-,” he stopped suddenly at the concerned look on her face. He felt his brain click into gear again. “OK,” he said, he spoke as if Melissa had gotten a C on a math test. “What do you know?”
Melissa took a deep breath. “Dad, Milo and Amanda are at the arena.”
Richard took out his phone again. He quickly tapped through his contacts until his found Mike Wentworth’s number and dialled it. He put the phone to his ear.
“What do you need Chief?”
“Mike, just got confirmation, activate the MLRT.”
“Copy that Chief.”
Richard hung up. He turned to Melissa. “I’m probably not going to be back until late. Don’t wait up for me.”
“OK, Dad,” she said. “Be careful.”
He gave her a smile. “Don’t worry about me,” he said. “I’ll keep an eye out for Milo.”
Melissa visibly relaxed a little. Richard a gave her a kiss, then turned and left the kitchen.
The night shift was just coming when the alert sounded on Carl’s computer terminal. He frowned at his computer screen over of the top his chipped Ducky Momo coffee mug. He put down his coffee mug quickly typed a string of commands into his terminal as the words INATOR ALERT flashed red on his screen. But how could that be? Carl thought to himself. Dr. Doofenshmirtz hasn’t built any new inators in months. He quickly input another series of commands into his terminal and got a location, Danville Arena. Carl clicked on an icon his screen and a window opened on his desktop. Major Monogram appeared, looking slightly annoyed.
“What is it Carl?” he asked. Monogram’s moustache bristled slightly. He was dressed in what appeared to be the traditional clothing of the Netherlands. “Tonight is my clogging night.”
“I’m sorry to disturb you, sir,” replied Carl, “but something has triggered the inator alert.”
Monogram’s eyes went wide at these words. “Great googly moogly,” he exclaimed. “When was the last time Doof built any inators?”
Carl ran a quick search. “Last year,” he said after a couple of minutes. “He built a de gum-inator.”
Monogram frowned. He remembered the incident. Heinz had built the de gum-inator with the purpose of cleaning up all the discarded chewing gum from Danville’s sidewalks. It had predictably not gone as Heinz had intended and after that, Monogram had tasked Perry with keeping Heinz out of trouble. That hadn’t been a particularly hard mission for OWCA’s top agent as it had turned out, as Heinz spent most of his time slowly inching his way toward what Perry claimed might be his destiny as Professor Time.
“You had better send Agent P to look it,” replied Monogram after a moment or two of consideration.
“Yes, sir,” said Carl. He was a about to open another window on his screen when Monogram spoke again. He looked for a second as if he was about to say something he was definitely going to regret.
“Oh, and better have him take Doof.”
Carl’s eyes went wide in surprise at these words. “Are you certain, Sir?”
Monogram shook his head. “No, I’m not Carl,” he replied, “but it seems that someone has built an inator of unknown design. His experience might prove useful.”
Carl tried his best to hide his scepticism and only partially succeeded. “Yes, sir,” he said.
Perry’s communicator began beeping half way through Space Adventure. Phineas and Ferb were sitting on the couch next to Baljeet and Isabella. Perry was curled up on the floor next to Phineas’s feet. He cast an eye up his so-call owner from the floor. Phineas was fully engrossed in the action on the screen and Perry decided that Phineas probably wouldn’t notice if he slipped out. On the screen, Captain Jack Raintree and his Vulkonian science office, Mr Tomak, had been cornered by drones from the Cytronian Collective.
“Tomak, we need a way out here,” said Raintree on the TV screen.
“Yes, Captain, I calculate our current odds of survival at 28%.”
“Blast the odds, Tomak, just give me away out here.”
“Very well Captain, if you would be so good as to hand me that ionic power cell?”
At this, Baljeet scoffed. “Oh come on!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air, “you can’t connect an ionic power cell to a plasmonic regulator like that!”
On the screen, the crudely constructed device emitted a burst of energy and the Cytronian drones fell down in a shower of writhing blue sparks.
“Well, how about that,” said Ferb in mild surprise.
Phineas gave his stepbrother a gentle nudge. “So apparently you can connect an ionic power cell to a plasmonic regulator like that.”
Perry turned his attention way from the boys and their TV show. His wrist comm was still beeping insistently. He looked around, searching for somewhere quiet to answer the call. He heard the sound of feet in the kitchen and sound of a cupboard door opening. Lawrence was taking out the trash. He scuttled across the living room and into the kitchen. He slipped outside, unnoticed at Lawrence’s heels, as the kitchen door banged shut. He stood up, produced his fedora from somewhere and put it on his head. Perry hid for a moment in the shadows behind the garbage bins as Lawrence deposited the bag of garbage into the container. It rattled loudly as he replaced the lid and Perry used the momentary noise to open a small door that had been cleverly hidden in the wall of the house. A slide appeared on the other side. The door shut and Perry sat down at the top of the slide. He pushed off and went zooming down into the darkness beneath the house. The slight wind ruffled his fur and turned up the brim of his fedora. Lights went streaking past him at regular intervals as he went wizzing down the tubular slide. Perry felt the G forces pressing on him slightly as he leaned into the corners. He was suddenly in freefall as the tubular slide suddenly changed direction from the horizontal to the vertical and Perry reached up to keep his hat on his head. An instant before he was about to hit the bottom of the shaft, a hatch opened and the platypus plopped on to a chair.
Before Perry’s eyes could adjust to the darkness, the lights flicked at the sudden motion. He was in a large cylindrical room. In front of him was a computer console. The room’s walls were lined with jetpacks, spacesuits climbing gear and exoskeleton. Interspersed among all the spy gear and hardware were display cases containing mementos of just a few of Perry’s many missions.He reached up and detached a small locket from his collar. He unfolded it and pressed it into a depression in the centre of his computer terminal. The inside of the locket contained three pictures. One on the left of Phineas, one on the right of Ferb and one in the middle of Perry.
Perry pressed the unfolded locket to a depression in the middle of the computer console and the large monitor hanging on the wall flickered to life. A flat electronic voice said, “welcome Agent P, please input your passcode.” Perry input string of numbers and letters into his keyboard, along with what sounded like musical tones.
The flame electronic voice said, “passcode accepted. Please stand by.” The OWCA logo and a buffering bar appeared on the screen. After a minute or two, the buffering reached one hundred percent and the screen went blank again. A second or two after that Carl appeared.
[Evening, Carl] Perry chittered [What’s up?]
“I’m sorry to disturb your night off, Agent P,” replied Carl. “Major Monogram couldn’t give you your briefing personally. It’s his clogging night.”
[I assume you have a mission for me?] asked Perry.
Carl nodded. An image appeared on Perry’s monitor screen. “We got a signal from the inator alert.”
Perry’s eyes widened in surprise. [Really?] he warbled. The inator alert had been designed to allow OWCA to track Dr. Doofenshmirtz’ movements. Perry trusted Heinz, but Major Monogram didn’t, at least not yet. As a result, the inator alert had not been deactivated. [Where is the signal coming from?] chittered Perry.
The image on the screen changed. Carl’s visage briefly disappeared and reappeared in the upper right hand corner of the screen. It was overlaid on a map of Danville. A red dot was blinking in the middle of the image. Perry studied the image for a moment and quickly input a series of commands into his keyboard. A text box appeared next to the red dot. Words began to scroll downward and Perry read quickly, his eyes rapidly moving back and forth. His eyes went wide and he chittered urgently at Carl. [Dr. Diminutive?] the platypus asked. [How did we miss that?]
Carl shook his head in reply. “I don’t know,” he replied, “but he appears to have taken hostages a at a Weird Al concert at Danville Arena.” Carl glanced away from the camera and looked at his computer screen. Perry watch his eyes moving back and forth as he read quickly. “He apparently has some sort of Shrinkinizor,” he said after a second or two.
[Any idea where he got it?] Perry chittered.
Carl shook his head. “No,” he replied, he quickly scanned his computer screen again, as though searching hidden details, “but he’s threatening to shrink the Tri-state Area unless, he’s put in charge. We need you to put to a stop to his plan.”
Perry nodded and put on his fedora. [OK] he said [I’ll look in to it] He leaned forward to log off, but Carl spoke again.
“Oh, one more thing Agent P,”he said, “Major Monogram wants you to take Dr. Doofenshmirtz along on this one.”
Perry paused, a look of slight surprise on his face. [Carl, are you sure?] asked Perry. [Major Monogram doesn’t exactly-]
Carl cut him off, “-exactly trust him,” finishing Perry’s sentence for him. “I know, but Major Monogram feels that in this case, Doof’s skills might be useful.”
Perry chuckled to himself. He’ll like that, he thought, he’s always going about how we should be adventure buddies. He nodded at Carl. [OK] he said [I’ll take him with me.]
“Good luck, Agent P,” replied Carl.
Perry nodded and logged off. He got out his chair, turned and walked toward a biometric palm scanner that appeared to stand by itself in the middle of the room. He pressed his hand to the scanner plate. It glowed blue and beeped. Machinery rumbled under the floor and a cleverly conceal hatch appeared. It split apart and a circular platform rose into view, along with a thick cloud of vapour. Amidst the thick billowing clouds sat a sleek green and white hover car. In a couple of quick steps, Perry crossed from the pedestal with the palm scanner to the circular platform, which was rotating slowly. Perry hopped into the driver’s seat and took off his fedora. He quickly rummaged through its contents and found his car keys. He turned the key in the ignition and the car’s jets roared to life. Perry gunned the jets and quickly rose up to the top his lair. Perry felt the wind tugging on the brim of his fedora and rippling through his bristly fur. Just before he hit the roof of his lair, another hidden panel opened and he shot upward into the night sky.
It's a funny name for a not so funny machine - imagine if everyone shrank. I imagine it wouldn't be comical like Honey I Shrunk The Kids.
How efficient and down to business he is - look out, baddies!
Episode Sixty Eight
Perry’s hover car shot straight up out of the ground and came to a stop about a hundred feet over the backyard.The prescience of the house was betrayed by the light spilling out of the windows on to the front and back lawn. The house itself was a square in the darkness. Linda’s station wagon was a smaller rectangle in the driveway. Perry hit a button on his dashboard and the hidden hatch that he had flown up out of closed again. He pulled the wheel hard over, jammed his webbed foot down on the accelerator and shot off toward Milo’s neighbourhood.
Zack was just coming out of the bathroom when the door bell rang. He turned and walked down the hall to the front door. The door bell rang again, this time more insistently. From the living room over the sound of the TV, Marcus yelled, “Zack, can you get the door?”
“Yeah, OK Dad,” called Zack over his shoulder. Zack frowned to himself. Who could possibly be ringing the door bell at this hour, he thought. He reached the front door and looked the peep hole. Melissa was standing on the front porch. Really? he thought for a second, wondering if she had forgotten a school book at his house again. After a second or two of searching his memory, he drew a blank. At this time of night? he thought, what could she possibly what?
Zack’s thoughts were interrupted by Melissa rapping sharply on the door. “C’mon, Zack,” she said. Her voice was slightly muffled, “open up!” Zack pulled back the lock on the front door. The chain rattled rattled loudly and Zack pulled open the door. He opened his mouth to say, “Melissa, what are you doing here?” but the words died in his throat before he could say anything. Melissa’s face was flushed and she was slightly out of breath. Her bike lay discarded in the middle of Zack’s drive way. Something’s happened, he thought. “Melissa, what’s going on?” he asked. “Is Milo OK?”
Melissa took a deep breath. “I don’t know,” she said, “but we need to get down to Danville Arena right away.”
Something clicked in Zack’s brain at those words. Danville Arena, he thought, of course! Amanda gave Milo Weird Al tickets for his birthday. That was tonight. “OK, Melissa,” he said slowly, “what happened?”
Melissa spoke without stopping for ten minutes. She told Zack about the conversation she had overheard between her farther and Mike Wentworth. Zack’s eyebrows went up in surprise as she spoke. “The Danville Fire Department has a Murphy’s Law Response Team?” he interjected incredulously. “Why haven’t I heard Milo mention this before?”
Melissa shrugged. “Well,” she said, “you know that Milo doesn’t like brag.” She turned and walked back down the sidewalk and retrieved her bike from where she had dropped it in his driveway. “Come on,” she called over her shoulder, “we gotta get going.”
Zack retrieved his bike from where he had left it next to the front door and swung his leg over the seat, peddling as he went. “Hey,” he called after her, “wait up.” Zack caught up with her just down the block. “OK,” he said as he peddled along beside her, “Milo and Amanda are trapped inside Danville Arena, by an evil genius and we think it’s a good idea to run toward the danger because…..?”
Melissa cast at glance at Zack out of the corner of her eye. “Hey, you know the code,” she began.
Zack nodded.”Yeah, yeah,” he said, “I know. No one gets left behind.”
The flight from Phineas and Ferb’s backyard to Milo’s only took a few minutes. The hover car touched down in the middle of the backyard, not far from Heinz’ shed. A square of yellow light glowed in the window next to the door. Perry turned the key in the ignition and the hover car’s turbine spooled down with a low whine. Perry lifted his fedora and put the key away. He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out. He walked across the lawn, stepping around a mangled bicycle, passed a broken baseball bat and deflated soccer ball. As he approached, he could hear muffled voices coming from inside. Perry stepped up on to porch and opened the door.
Cavenpuss was standing on a chair. His top hat was perched unsteadily on the top of his head. His spectacles flashed as they caught the light. A Panoply board and assorted dice and game pieces were scattered across a folding table. “When you role doubles, you get another turn!” He gesticulated wildly with his small hands.
Heinz was sitting slouched in a chair on the opposite side of the table. Listening to Cavenpuss’s tirade, he rolled his eyes. “Those are not traditional Drusselstian rules,” he said. “Panoply is the national board game of Drusselstein-,”
“You just made that up,” interjected Cavenpuss.
Heinz bristled. “I’ll have you know that I was a nationally ranked Panoply player by the time I was twelve-,” Heinz was interrupted by the sound of a tiny green fist knocking on the wooden door jam.
Heinz and Cavenpuss both stopped talking and turned toward the bandy legged platypus standing in framed in the doorway. [Evening] chittered Perry. [I hope I’m not interrupting something.]
“Perry the Platypus,” said Heinz, “what an unexpected surprise.” He gestured to the Panoply board. “Why don’t you join us?” He unfolded himself from his seat and started to get up.
Perry shook his head. [Sorry Heinz] he said [Not tonight. I’m here because I need your help]
Heinz looked as if he had suddenly realized it was his birthday. “Really?” he said delightedly. “You want me to help you on a mission?”
Perry nodded. [Yeah] he warbled. He pointed over his shoulder through the open door. [I’ve got the car outside] he said. [Let’s go and I’ll explain on the way]
“Right,” said Heinz. He jumped to his feet, knocking over the table and sending board and game pieces flying everywhere. He pulled his lab coat from back of his chair and shrugged it on. “Let’s go.” In a couple of strides he made his way to the door, with Perry following at his heels. With some difficulty, Heinz wedged himself into the tiny passenger seat and buckled his seat belt. “Oh,” said Heinz excitedly, looking at the hover car’s interior, “did you get an upgrade?” A radar screen glowed green in the centre of the dashboard and the console between the driver’s and passenger seats was covered with buttons and knobs.
Perry walked around to the driver’s seat. He got in and buckled his seat belt. Perry reached and took off his fedora. He fished inside and quickly found his keys. He put his fedora back on his head and stuck the key in the ignition. He shrugged as he turned it. [Yeah, it need to go in for some routine maintenance] he said [and Carl had a few ideas that he wanted to try out, so…..] Perry trailed off. Heinz eyed all the various buttons and knobs, as if he longed to push a few of them and find out what they did.
“Well give Carl my compliments,” replied Heinz, “this is his best work yet.”
Perry chuckled a little.[Thanks] he said [He’ll really appreciate that]. He put his foot down on the accelerator and the sleek white and green hover car shot up into the air. The ground dropped away rapidly and they stopped rising a hundred feet above the backyard. Perry reached down next his seat and took hold of a lever. It looked like parking brake handle. He pushed it forward until it was horizontal. The car’s jets rotated ninth degrees and they shot forward.
“Oh, wow,” said Heinz excitedly, from behind his knees. They were almost in his face. “This is so exciting, you and me fighting the good fight, so where are we going, anyway?”
Perry explained quickly. [Major Monogram felt that your skills and experience with LOVEMUFFIN might be useful on this mission] he finished.
For a half a second, Heinz looked dumbfounded. “Wait,” he said slowly, “you don’t mean that-?” he trailed off and an astonished look came over his face. “Really?” he asked excitedly, “Francis really wants me to-“ he said, “oh this is so wonderful. I really should do something nice for him-,” his train of thought was interrupted as Perry put the wheel hard over.The hover car swung around and at the same time, Perry flipped a couple of switches on the console between the seats. A red dot appeared on the radar screen and Perry put his foot down on the accelerator and they shot off into the night.
It took Zack and Melissa twenty five minutes to ride of Zack’s house all the way downtown to Danville Arena. In ordinary circumstances, they probably could have gotten there in half the time, but they had deliberately taken a slight more circuitous route.
“So won’t your Dad be pretty mad with us that we went down to the arena?” asked Zack as they dismounted and stashed their bikes.
Melissa shrugged.”Well, he didn’t tell us not to,” she replied, “and we’ve been in stranger situations with Milo before.”
For half a second, Zack looked as if he were about to dare her to name one, but he pushed the thought as side. In actuality, Zack could name about six. He nodded and, along with Melissa, surveyed the scene. Fire trucks and police car were clustered around the arena’s main entrance. Red and blue lights splashed their colours over the gigantic face of Weird Al as he beamed down from the side of the building in his violently coloured Hawaiian shirt. They watched as two police cars blocking the entrance to the parking lot pulled aside as a heavy looking armoured vehicle pulled. The writing on its side clearly spelled out
Danville Fire Department
Murphy’s Law Rapid Response Team
Zack whistled silently as the two police cars pulled back into place, blocking the entrance to the parking lot again. “So that’s the MLRT?” he asked.
Melissa nodded.”Yep.” They watched for a minute or two as vehicle’s rear door opened. Half a dozen people piled out. They began opening storage compartments on the outside of the their armoured truck and began to unpack various pieces of equipment.
Melissa tugged on Zack’s arm. “C’mon,” she said. “We need to find a way inside.”
At these words, Zack felt his chest constrict and he was reminded, unpleasantly, of the sewers under San Fransokyo. Zack had to actively work at pushing the memory aside.
Something must have shown on his face because he suddenly realized that Melissa was looking at him. “Hey,” she said, “are you OK, Zack?”
“Yeah,” he said, “I’m fine.” He turned and started walking away from her. “Let’s get going.” He turned and started walking away from her. She followed in his wake.
They walked for about ten minutes, heading away from the cops and fire fighters clustered around the building’s main entrance. They eventually came to the loading dock where the tour buses were parked. Light spilled out through the large open door and the buses cast long, strange shadows on the ground. Zack and Melissa paused briefly, carefully scrutinizing the shadows as looking for anything that might be moving. After a minute or two, when they were pretty certain that they didn’t see anyone, or anything, they started walking again.
They edged carefully into the shadows, ears pricked for unexpected noises. They jumped a little when Zack’s foot crunched loudly on broken glass. Zack and Melissa stopped and looked down. They breathed a slight sigh of relief. Zack’s foot had landed on the mirror that had clipped Milo on the back of the head in the photo he had sent them earlier. “Do you think someone heard that?” he asked. There was nobody around, as far as they knew, and for some reason that Zack couldn’t explain he was whispering.
Melissa shook her head. “I have no idea,” she replied. Now she was whispering as well. “C’mon,” she said. “Let’s find go Milo and Amanda.”
They edged carefully out of the shadows between the tour buses and into the empty loading dock. Zack and Melissa didn’t wait to see if anybody was coming. They hurried across the loading dock, their footstep echoing slightly on the concrete. They reached the heavy double doors and pushed them open. They found themselves in a carpeted hallway lined with pictures of the Danville Marmots. They both took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“OK,” said Zack, “where do we go now?”
Melissa thought for a second. “Follow the breadcrumbs,” she suggested. “I mean it’s Milo. He always leaves a trail.