Saga Dissonant Echoes of a Fragmented Mind (Vader/Ami - AU EpIII) Thank You!

Chapter Three

He returns to the spaceport with the girl in tow. Midway back from the farm, he had commandeered a speeder, which brought them back through the city of Emon. The girl?s continued silence begins to unnerve him. He reaches the ship and stops the speeder.

Now he sees the Aksala welcoming party waiting to greet him. He ignores their words of greeting. Their former rudeness is unforgivable, and were it not for the girl beside him, he would have made it clearer to them immediately.

Instead, he boards the ship with the girl in tow. ?Close the ramp. I will not speak to the Aksalans today.?

?As you wish, my lord,? the officer says with a bow.

Vader sweeps past him toward his chambers in the back of the ship. The girl continues to follow silently. The officers aboard the ship all turn to stare curiously at the girl following the Dark Lord but none dare to whisper or murmur while in his presence.

Once inside his chambers, the door slides shut behind them, and now Vader can no longer hide his impatience. He must take a long, good look at her. He must see if she is really his Padmé.

He starts by gazing into her face again. But for the slack-jawed blankness in the face and eyes, which unnerve them with their absence of sentient thought, she looks exactly like his Padmé, down to the last freckle on her face.

He reaches forward to unbind her hair. It cascades down her back in a waterfall. Despite the frizziness, which bespeaks of neglect with her brush, it is Padmé?s hair. He strips off his black glove, wincing at the unhealthy pallor of the skin of his hand. He hates to see any part of his body, but he must feel her hair. He reaches forward to touch the tresses, and she does not flinch from his touch. She doesn?t even seem to be aware of it. He runs his fingers through the locks. It feels like Padmé?s hair.

Finally, he strips her last barrier. He pulls off her dress.

She has nothing on underneath her dress.

She stands before him in the nude; a cursory glance shows a beautifully formed body, perhaps a trifle too thin. And she does not move or flinch. She does not shield her nakedness or stare at him with playful provocativeness as she would have done once. She does not even seem to be aware of her state of undress. With blind unconcern, she continues to stare ahead.

And he becomes so unnerved by her reaction, he cannot scrutinize her body. A tiny, last vestige of decency, which he thought he had eradicated, now comes to the fore and will not allow him to demean her further by shaming her with his gaze.

He curses. It is an old Huttese curse that he has not spoken in a decade and a half. And then he dresses her again.

?Talk to me,? he says. And his voice is almost pleading. ?Tell me who you are.?

And still, there is nothing.

What happened to make her this way? What could have taken her mind so completely?

He decides to take her for a medical examination. He opens the door to his chambers and takes her through the ship toward the medical quarters.

The ship?s doctor knows him well. He has cared for Vader ever since the Dark Lord clawed his way out of the lava pits, and was rescued. He pieced together the equipment that comprises the Dark Lord?s suit. He gives Vader the weekly injections of antibiotics and bacta and nutrients that keep his body from breaking down. He mixes the nutrient broth that Vader now takes in place of food.

He is the one man who has no cause to fear Vader. And perhaps being a physician he has acquired enough bedside manner over the years to hide his thoughts better than most. In any case, he is not weak-minded, and he offers only impassivity to the Dark Lord during their encounters.

Vader likes this. He is so tired of men who shy away from him. He has respect for the doctor. And so he brings the girl into the sickbay.

Wordlessly, he pushes the girl forward. The doctor assesses her and then turns to Vader.

?My lord?? he asks.

?Examine her,? Vader orders.

The doctor nods wordlessly and takes her into the back room. Vad

 

This is wonderful and creepy at the same time. I love the original plot and the way information is slowly being unfolded!

Good job!

 

Excellent work. It sounds like things may have been a little different if Padme had told him about the baby. The way you describe what is going on is enough for your readers to get a picture of what is going on. The story has an excellent past. Just a little to keep readers in suspense, without giving out too much. Hope to see more soon.

 

Cool! Keep it going -- I'm liking it!

 

Using Present Tense is very interesting- it makes the story more mysterious, it gives us better chance to understand what's going on in Vader's mind, it's easier to see why he is so puzzled... we are almost standing right beside him, feel what he feels... Present Tense is so good to show emotions...

And usually it gives us the feeling that something isn't right... psycho and horror-short stories use Present Tense to make the reader more uncomfortable- here, it's like a parallelism to Padme's mind- something is not OK there...

Sorry guys, I'm a complete idiot- here we have a fine story and I'm speaking about grammar...

 

Excellent, excellent, excellent! Wow.

Vader's impatience is so true to form here. And yet his sense of dignity and modesty overpowers him -- just great. There is still so much of Anakin there, good and bad.

And then the revelation. She must have gotten pregnant just around the last time they saw each other (three months ago plus nine months gives the year in chapter 1). Perhaps that trauma and losing the twins put her into the catatonia? Or did Obi-Wan do it? Something else?

If you're willing to say, how AU are you making this? Are there twins -- that are Anakin's? Is the AU part Padme's survival and fate (so far), or more than that? Or do I need to be patient?

What a fun story! I love all the twists and turns and intrigue. Can't wait for more.

 

WOW! I am in awe!

Really amazing post! I am having a blast because you answer as many questions as you raise with each passing paragraph. What absolute fun.

Even though the story itself if heartwrenching to the nth degree, I enjoy every minute that I am reading it.

I wonder - How did she get like this? Did someone do it to her? Or did her brain just say too much? Is it even Padmé? And what is this knowledge going to do to Vader?



WAAAAAA! The agony! You're killing me!

Keep up the great work.

 

A child? Our child! When and where? The thoughts echo resoundingly through Vader?s brain, obliterating all other thoughts but one last one of anguish and betrayal: Why, Padme? Why didn?t you tell me?

Wow...

You've got the Anakin/Vader characterization down pat!

Up!

JS

 

*shakes head* LP, you know how much I can usually chatter on about a fic, but this one is robbing me of my powers of speech. I'm just plain spellbound. I agree with what everyone else has said, though.

*props chin in hands and waits wide-eyed for the next post*

 

Hello! Just found this story and I am really looking forward to where you take it.

The present tense construct gives this story that added touch of unreality and yet reality
I like the OC i.e. the doctor. I've always felt that that should be the kind of relationship Darth Vader would have with his physician. Even the greatest men are humbled in the dentist's chair!
Plus the fact that Vader is completely amoral and Padme(?) is cuckoo!
Can't wait for more!

 

dianethx: This is wonderful and creepy at the same time. I love the original plot and the way information is slowly being unfolded!
- Why, thank you! I'm glad you like the way this is going

CrystalKenobi: Thank you. And, I guess the story definitely would have taken on a different twist if Vader knew about the baby.

TotaleFinsternis: Thank you!

LadyZ: And usually it gives us the feeling that something isn't right... psycho and horror-short stories use Present Tense to make the reader more uncomfortable- here, it's like a parallelism to Padme's mind- something is not OK there...

- Exactly! And...Padme's mind really isn't ok, there...

Darth_Lex: And then the revelation. She must have gotten pregnant just around the last time they saw each other (three months ago plus nine months gives the year in chapter 1). Perhaps that trauma and losing the twins put her into the catatonia? Or did Obi-Wan do it? Something else?

- You ask so many questions! Yes, she did get pregnant around the last time they saw each other. What put her into this catatonia will be discussed later...

TKeira_Lea: WAAAAAA! The agony! You're killing me!

- Same for you, too many questions. Would you like another script for Valium?

JazzSkywalker: Thank you!

Gabri_Jade: Wow, if you're spellbound, this is high praise, indeed...

leia_naberrie: * grins * Glad you like the MD...that's what I always thought physicians should be, too ...although I don't approve of having them be strangled by their patients


Next post is on Thursday, November 6th

 

Same for you, too many questions. Don't blame me. I am just following Lex's lead

Would you like another script for Valium? I was hoping for Percoset with some anti-nausea pills on the side. Those seemed to work well when I got my wisdom teeth out last year.

Another post on Thursday? And you say I am prolific...

 

Found your story and I like it.

 

TKL: AARRGGHH! Shucks! Forgot my triplicate forms. In New York State we can only write narcotics on those stupid prescription pads. It's a pain...

DANA28: Glad you like it.

More tomorrow.

 

Next post is on Thursday, November 6th


Hey, that's tomorrow! *bounces happily - in a spellbound way, of course*

 

Gabri_Jade: Ask and ye shall receive...

---

[b]Chapter Four[/b]

There is no day or night in space. There is only the same, eternal blackness punctuated by stars. And yet, aboard the ship, the sentients follow the diurnal schedule of Coruscant time. Shifts are assigned as day and night duties.

And so, aboard the ship [i]Domination[/i], a Victory-class Star Destroyer commissioned by the Senate in the last days of the Old Republic, it is now night.

Darth Vader does not sleep as he once did. He cannot lie recumbent?it interferes with the operation of his numerous life-sustaining machines. Instead, he has a recliner that allows him to lie back in as close to an approximation of sleep as possible. He lies upon it now, but he knows that there will be no sleep for him tonight.

His gaze is drawn toward the closed door of the inner cabin in his suite. When the suite was designed for him, a full bedroom with amenities was included. It always seemed to him to be a big, cosmic joke, for he can use none of those things he once took for granted.

Now, the girl is inside his room. He had led her inside himself; he had scrounged up some loose, comfortable clothing for her to wear, and had her put into bed. As he had ministered to her, he had not known whether to feel rage or pity for her. The combination of such disparate emotions sat ill in his mind, and he turned away from her at last feeling only confusion. And then he had returned to his recliner to make what he could of the rest of the night.

[hr]
Inside the inner chamber, the girl is not in the bed. She climbed out of the bed when the door slid shut. She stands before the enormous porthole, watching as the stars drift by. But she is not really seeing anything.

There are no words for what is in her mind. She cannot articulate any thoughts. She is beyond that. She has no memory of who she is or where she is or how she got where she is. She can follow commands?one part of her mind can do this automatically?but she cannot formulate thoughts or store new memories. She does not even remember the events of this afternoon, or realize she is aboard a warship. Or that she is sharing the suite of one of the most feared men in the entire galaxy.

Memories. Sentient thoughts. Self-awareness. All of these things are lost to her.

Instead, what she has are images. Disjointed images that make no sense to her. There is no coherency in these fragments of her mind.

Eyes.

Red eyes.

Malevolent eyes.

Staring eyes.

Unblinking eyes.

The eyes are always watching.

The eyes stir an echo of fear within her, but she has no idea why. She does not know why she sees the eyes. She cannot see the face beyond the eyes.

The eyes stare at her through the stars. The stars line up to form eyes. The eyes burrow down through hers into her very body.

She cannot escape the eyes.

She stares back at the eyes.

Tendrils of evil emanate from the eyes and reach toward her. They bore into her. They wrap themselves around her. They insinuate themselves in her body and through her heart.

They pull.

She does not know why she pulls back, but it is instinctive.

The tendrils hurt her, they hurt her, they hurt her, they hurt her?

The cries tear from her throat but they do not form coherent words. There are no words for her to express what she feels because she does not know what she feels. There is no coherent emotion, there is only instinct. And even as she tries to pull away from what is hurting her, she wants the eyes. She cannot remember why she wants the eyes. She cannot remember that when she doesn?t see the eyes, she sees worse; she sees things that hurt her far worse. She does not realize that the eyes are the gatekeepers, that underneath the catatonic exterior, there is another layer of psyche; and that psyche remembers things best forgotten. That other psyche is like a festering boil filled with poisonous pain and treacherous thoughts. The eyes keep that other self bolted away, keep the real pain at bay.

The door slides open but she i

 

The suspense of why she is like this is killing me. What is she not suppose to remember. Did that evil papatine do something to her?

 

Enough with the eyes! Our first look inside Padme's mind was just as freaky as I expected. Wow.

I am intrigued by the conflicts within Vader as you write him. At times he is the cold, calculating villain of ANH and ESB. At others he seems very much the vulnerable, troubled Anakin from AOTC (if more fully dark and of course drastically injured). In particular his capacity for I guess it is empathy with Padme is fascinating. Great job with this.

And of course there are those interesting scars... I have my theory but I'll hold off for now...

 

WOW. I'm bursting with curiousity here . . . don't leave us hanging!! Great stuff happening!

 

I am dying of curiosity here, Jieh. Fantastic job of portraying Padmé's (it is Padmé, then?) mental state. Still spellbound, definitely.

 

Bows to you!

Great, great piece of writing

The descriptions of Vader as someone you can almost sympathize with, but then you know he is really a monster.

And Padmé - I am heartbroken (Although I am not sure she is just abusing your valium script ) The absence of thought is powerfully detailed. It's like all that is left is the vessel. I fear it will get more heartwrenching as it goes...

I was going to start dropping parts I loved but I pretty much would have reposted your story.

And I was wondering if I could just poke those beady red eyes out ?

 

Wow, this is amazing, LP! I love the unique style of writing in this. It makes for such a mysterious story. I'm dying to know what happened to Padmé. The eye part was freaky...kinda made me want to crawl under my bedcovers! I love the whole surreal feeling of this story.
The title is cool too! It's kinda creepy. That was what initially caught my attention

 

Ohhhh, I LOVE it!!! Extremely interesting!!!

 

CrystalKenobi: What is she not suppose to remember. Did that evil papatine do something to her?

Heh. Not saying...

Darth_Lex: What? You don't like EYES??? Whyever not?

* grins * I'm married to an ophthalmologist, so I hear about things done to eyes that no normal human being would really want to know...

TotaleFinsteris: Oooh! If I've got people bursting with curiosity, then I'm doing my job right!

Gabri_Jade: * grins * Thank you!

TKeira_Lea: And Padmé - I am heartbroken (Although I am not sure she is just abusing your valium script ) The absence of thought is powerfully detailed. It's like all that is left is the vessel. I fear it will get more heartwrenching as it goes...

- Hmmm...not sure if it will become more heartwrenching or maudlin and sentimental, or SCARY AND EVIL!!! MUWAHAHAHA!

RebelPrincess: Welcome to the story! I'm glad you like it!

LadyZ: Thank you!


The next post will be Monday, November 10

 

We'll be waiting.