Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Mar17swgirl, Oct 19, 2001.
OK, Ish, I set this up. The story's thread is up already, so I'm now waiting for your post.
Already posted. Where do we go from here?
I'll do some scenes with Padme/Sache on Alderaan, maybe also a bit Obi/Bail and then there will be a cut to Vader, where his agents report to him how the "chase" for Padme and Obi is progressing. (or maybe I'll do the Vader scene first, and then cut to Alderaan). What do you think?
Okay, the post is up, now to your part. I'll try to describe the overall story, but the details are fully at your command.
It starts with Padme having contractions. A medic, a nurse, Sache and Obi-Wan are with her (Sache is holding her hand, but Obi-Wan is in the other side of the room - you might want to explain why, since you wrote that he's not the man for emotion... ). It could be nice to have Obi's reactions to the whole process of birthgiving (oh, and he has a bad feeling, because he senses Vader, but he doesn't know it's Vader, he just has this feeling).
Anyways. So, after the twins are born (Leia's the first, then Luke), and Padme's resting, Bail suddenly comes in and informs the others that an Imperial Shuttle has come out of hyperspace. Obi then realizes it's Vader, so he takes Padme and Luke and they fly away (Padme's still very weak, so you can describe it how Obi's trying to help her, because they need to hurry). Bail then takes Leia and tells Sache that he's going to hide her so Vader wouldn't find her. He leaves the room through a secret door. A couple of minutes later, Vader storms in, and sees Sache there. He asks her where is his child (he doesn't know there were twins), but Sache refuses to tell him. He then grabs her throat and threatens her; then asks her where is his wife. She tells him something like "she is not your wife anymore". He then beats her up and seeing that she won't tell him anything, he leaves. He starts looking for Bail, and he senses a strangely familiar presence - Leia's. He follows it and discovers a secret passage. There he "meets" Bail. He takes Leia from him, and begins to torture him - now this is YOUR arena, , as we decided (he uses the Force to manipulate his nervous system, so he slowly begins to grip his heart, he robs him of sight, speech, muscle control, then comes the heart, breathing and at the end, he kills him). Of course, during all that he either talks to him, or he admires his daughter. When he's finished, he can say to Leia something like "come, my little daughter, let's leave this ugly place" or something. So he leaves and flies to Coruscant. Winter appears, and finds her father dead. She starts crying and calling her mother. Sache comes and tries to calm her down. They're both crying.
And your post would end there. Any other details are of your choice. If you have anything, just reply to this.
I just posted. Hope it came off well.
Awesome post, Ish!!! You handled it wonderfully. Really. I'm thinking now what to post...
>Vader entered the throne room, holding Leia in his
>arms. Throwing an annoyed glance at the red-cloaked
>Imperial Guards, he walked towards the throne. The
>Emperor sat there(,) motionless, with his back turned
>towards Vader. (FACING AWAY FROM HIS APPRENTICE. THE PROSE IS LAGGING HERE.) As the Sith Lord approached and walked
>up the stairs, he slowly turned his throne and faced
>him. (THE THRONE ROTATED TO FACE HIM)
>Vader dropped to one knee, his daughter still (CRADLED) in his
>"My Master," he spoke up, bowing his head.
>Emperor's yellow eyes glittered (WITH BARELY RESTRAINED MALICIOUS GLEE) as he noticed the
>infant in Vader's arms.
>"I see you brought to me your offspring, Lord Vader,"
>he said with an interest in his voice.
>"Yes, my Master. My daughter, Leia Skywalker."
>Vader uncovered Leia's face and held her up. (CHANGE TO "PROFFERED HER FOR INSPECTION" OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT) The
>Emperor shifted slightly from his pose (THAT SOUNDS AWKWARD) and bent
>forward to look better (GET A BETTER LOOK) at the girl. She blinked
>several times and frowned a little bit. Vader could
>sense her fear, as well as the Emperor's probing
>presence reaching towards her small mind. She
>apparently didn't like what was happening, so he
>brushed slightly his mind against hers. The fear
>abruptly faded, as she felt the touch of her father.
>The Emperor squinted at Vader, and his lips twisted in
>"Very well, Lord Vader," he said after a while,
>leaning back. "She is indeed very powerful. I trust
>you to train her well."
>"Yes, my Master," Vader nodded, wrapping Leia back
>into the blankets she was in. "I will train her in the
>ways of the Dark Side, and she will serve you well, as
>The Emperor smiled again. (THIS IS UNNECESSARY, UNLESS HE STOPPED SMILING, IN WHICH CASE YOU NEED TO SAY SO)
>"Indeed," he agreed. "She is going to be a great
>asset. I have foreseen it." (NEW PARAGRAPH HERE)He paused, and after
>feeling a slight wave of surprise from Vader, he
>added: "After all, she is your daughter, Lord Vader.
>She is Lady Vader."
>"My Master," he said and (,) seeing the Emperor turning
>his throne back to the giant window overlooking the
>Imperial City, he stood up and left the throne room.
>He walked back to his quarters. Leia squirmed slightly
>in his arms and looked up into his face behind the
>mask. Something in those big brown eyes made him stop.
>Those familiar eyes?
>No. She's not part of my life anymore. She betrayed
>me, same as Kenobi and all of the others did. She
>might be mother of my daughter, but Leia is the Lady
>Vader. She will grow up to be a Dark Lady of the
>Vader suddenly realized that he had stopped in the
>middle of hallway, clutching Leia tightly against his
>chest. He looked around. Several troopers and officers
>were around, but none of them seemed to notice his
>strange behavior. He frowned under his mask. He
>wouldn't make a fool of himself, not in front of these
>Starting again towards the lifts, he tried to shake
>away his previous thoughts. But something deep in his
>mind, and heart, if he still had any, was calling for
>You still love her, Anakin, remember?
>A wave of anger ran through him.
(WAVES DON'T RUN THROUGH, BUT PASS OVER)
>No. Anakin Skywalker is dead. He exists no
>Maybe there is still love? No. Not that pathetic
>blinding passion, that distracts you and takes your
>focus away from the reality.
>I care for my daughter. I care for her and love her.
>Because she is my blood, and my heir.
>Because she is the Lady Vader.
>And I must obey my Master.
>The shuttle landed in the outskirts of a small
>settlement, Anchorhead, as Obi-Wan had told her.
OK, Ish, I guess you probably had some problems with your computer because you logged off so suddenly. So I'll write the rest of my ideas here.
For the Tatooine part of your post: you have Ben teaching Luke something about the Force (either communicating through it, or levitation, or both - you choose). Then you can have Padme coming there and watching them, and then talking to Ben - I really don't know. You can decide, I can't think of any ideas. The main idea is to show the difference between Leia and Luke and how they grow up.
Oh, and don't forget to have some woman taking care of Leia... some nanny or what... You might also have Vader teach her something, or take her to the Emperor (but I doubt it, because we already had a scene with Palpy).
The details are fully in your command, Master. You may post when ready. And please post soon, I can't wait. If you have any questions, PM me or post here.
Great post, Ish! I'll write my part soon, and will send it to you for comments. If you got any ideas I told you about, post them here.
Just upping this for you, Ish!
up so you'll find it
OK, I'm here.
You know, someday, we should actually plan something on this thread. There, I planned to plan!
LOL, point Ish... Well, this thread is for the emergency situations when the e-mails don't work, or when I or you can't get to the AIM.
When email or IM doesn't work, neither does the rest of the server.
Not necessarily. Rememer when you tried to send me your beta comments? I couldn't get them, so you posted them here. And sometimes I'm working on a computer that doesn't have AIM, so we can talk either through PM or here.