Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by SatineNaberrie, Jan 3, 2016.
Woke up literally ten minutes ago - I am reading it and I'm super giddy, but I maaay need my breakfast so these random words start forming - you know - sentences. Just wanted to let you know that I saw it the moment you posted it and that I'll read it with my tea. Until then, I sound like Homer in a casino. THANK YOU!
(This comment will be edited in max. 1h...)
Okay, I hope I didn't destroy it. If you feel anything is off let me know.
I loved this. Great job.
Wow, very, very, intriguing.
So the good doctor has been placed on the search for clues about Luke's relationship to Padme. Wonder what Vader's motivation is for sending her off on this mysterious quest. Once he connects the pieces, then his endgame is...dark.
Plus I like your portrayal of Dr. Aphra. She's doing the dirty work of dirty people because she's had a rough life.
Actually, I'll keep the comment where I sound like my dog upon seeing Dentastix. Why not have both?
You were hoping that this "does not suck". I'd say that it's the best thing you have ever written and by the look of things, you will top yourself with every next thing you write! One year ago, I was a bit of a kriffslider to you and I am immensely ashamed of even now, because I did not behave like an adult and I reminded myself of mean 30-somethings from back when I was 18-20. Back then, I could not go through your vignettes and I was not realising that mine were a mess as well, because we were at the same stage - gearing up to write, like an athlete with sore muscles. And here you are now: writing a masterful character study, 100% spot-on, no errors in sight and you even managed to stick Aphra's strange relationship with Darth Vader in it. And on top for it, it's for me, the former unpleasant critic. While somebody used a character and some fanon elements I created, nobody has yet written anything for me and I'm kinda giddy that the first thing I got was from you. This...could not have turned out better this way. I'm rambling, but it's true!
I like Padmé a lot and I always saw Aphra as some sinister take on both Padmé and Han Solo, so a lost scene where Aphra wonders about who the queen was, before her almost-fatal encounter with Solo; is a great idea. The contrast you explored between Padmé and Aphra, through Aphra reading a holo-article is one of those "sad reality" moments that I appreciate both in fiction and real life: some people could have become as much as those they may be comparing themselves to - but their circumstances took her someplace else. And even though most of us ended where we were supposed to, the "coulda woulda shoulda" is always present and the moment it hits Aphra is spot on, a great change from her initial refusal of Padmé and the good queen vs. strong queen contrast.
The cube does sound like something that could be hidden in a random place and something Vader would keep away from anybody - including himself - and it makes it a potentially dangerous object.
The Black Krrsantan reference is as subtle as can be.
Coronet is a perfect setting. On a planet so dedicated to spacefaring, nobody can get any attention to themselves more than anybody else. And, of course, all the cool aliens are likely to be found in a cantina - business as usual.
I love Nubian ships, too.
The effect that the war had on the Togruta adds another bit of morbid subtext to the story, plus Aphra herself knows what warfare results in - yes, there are such things as cool weapons, but how about remaining alone in the world?
And I absolutely loved seeing Corellia's own Dexter!
I may come back to this again, there are so, so many details! Not to mention that you left it open...for example, [hl=black]the Corellian information broker could have left the cube there, too...to have Vader and Aphra argue - the apple of discord![/hl]
I can not recommend the canon Darth Vader comics enough. Aphra appears from issue 3 on. Crazy plot, bizarre antagonists all of whom seem to have something in common with OT and even PT characters - my absolute favourite is 0-0-0, aka the evil C-3PO. He will kill you, but he will be REALLY polite about it.
Also, the endgame may not be dark. Vader spared Aphra a couple of times already. Whatever they have going on is definitely unhealthy, but he's got a weird kind of a soft spot for her.
Thanks for the kind review. I'm glad you like it.
Oh, this Dr. Aphra - she sounds curious, competent, and like she's seen a lot and done more! Anyone who works with/for Vader is off-the-top fascinating. And yeah, all kinds of wondering about what Vader's interest in the Queen of Naboo could possibly be.
Great job with this, SatineNaberrie! I haven't read much about Aphra yet either, but I liked the sound of her when Ewok Poet first told me about her, and I'm glad to be introduced to her by you in none other than a story for EP. Even as she’s in the midst of this quasi-archaeological research for Vader she engages in her own research about him and about who and what he really is. That genuine interest sets her apart from so many other merc-like types in the GFFA, which I think is so cool, as well as immensely ambitious—because you’re absolutely right, that’s a very risky approach to take with “the big guy in black” (love that expression!). Kudos for capturing all those facets of both her mission and her personal interest so well in this short piece.
It’s cool too how you made Aphra’s observations and ruminations about the other cantina patrons integral to the story and not just fluffy extras. It’s all part of a bigger set of ruminations on the current state of the galaxy and on her own current situation. In a way, it gives her more to work with than that broker who didn’t show up… and I am very intrigued by Ewok Poet 's suggestion that [hl=black]that broker may have been the one to just happen to leave that random holocube there[/hl]. In any case, there definitely seems to be some sort of story behind [hl=black]why that broker didn’t show up in the first place[/hl]. It’s cool how you leave those little details open for us readers to speculate on—which, besides just being something I enjoy in stories in general, is an especial trademark of EP’s own work and thus an especially fitting homage to her.
Keep up the good work—this story is inspiring me to start watching your career with great interest!
I don't know anything about Dr. Aphra either, but if she isn't like this when I read the comics, I'm going to be disappointed -- not by your fic, but by the comics.
I love how you slowly built the story and how her musings tell us bits and pieces about her, about the world she lives in, about what Vader wants from her but also about what she wants from herself. There seems to be a whole story behind the information broker who didn't turn up and the holocube itself -- I have a few guesses about both, especially the latter, but this definitely deserves to be expanded upon.
I've read only one of your other fics so far, but what I've seen is making me put everything on my reading list *drowns under a mountain of unread story threads*
Just found this for my research/ marathon reading of fan fic stories for the 2017 awards. Because I have the comic here at home I was drawn into this fic immediately.
You caught the disillusioned character of Doctor Aphra fairly well. Liked what she reflected about Padmé. Was thrilled to see her have an almost encounter with Han.