Echoes of Yesterday


Padme knelt before him, blood trickling from a wound on her head. ?Why didn?t you save me, Anakin?" She began to cry softly. ?You always said you would protect me.?

She turned her accusing brown stare on him and before his horrified eyes; the blood began to flow faster and faster. It kept rolling down her face until her features were covered by a crimson waterfall.

She brought up her hands and wiped at her cheeks. She pulled away her bloody hand and began to scream in horror. She shrieked at him then, pain at his betrayal singing in her words.

?You promised me, Anakin. You failed? failed? failed??


Lord Vader jerked awake in his sleeping pod even as the words echoed into nothingness. The dream had been so real. He gulped in the air that the pod's respirator provided to him. He wanted more! But the air kept coming at a measured rate, uncaring of his need or desire for more.

Why would she haunt him after being silent for so long? Was she a vision, a dream, or a ghost? It didn?t matter. He would banish her as easily as he had his conscience so long ago.

He shuddered alone in the darkness. He gathered his dark powers around him, basking in the cold comfort of that familiar embrace. The dream was over now. Tomorrow he would sleep.


********************************************


Obi-Wan was in his Jedi cloak and bowed before him, the gesture of respect between fellow knights. But when he raised his head, Vader saw only a death?s head. The grinning skull bobbed up and down, as if confirming what he saw. One skeletal hand reached out, and in that hand was the hilt of a saber that a boy named Anakin had fashioned.

?You lost this, Anakin. You must be more careful, this weapon is your life.? And the voice was Obi-Wan?s, cultured and as gentle as Vader could ever remember hearing it. But the sight of the bones wrapped around that too familiar hilt made him shudder.

?You must be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin.? Then the thing with his old Master?s voice drew up his hood and put his hands in the sleeves of his cloak. The saber disappeared and Vader could no longer see the horrifying image of the hands that lacked flesh.

?You have made a commitment to the Jedi Order.? Obi-Wan?s voice became a warning, a beacon to lead him off these troubled waters if he but heeded the admonishment. ?Anger leads to the dark side?dark side?dark side??

The voice echoed in his head even Vader cursed and opened his eyes. He felt himself thrust once more out of sleep. Force, what he would not give for just one night?s sleep!

The sleeping medications were not working. He had sampled a dozen of them. But not one granted him a full night?s sleep. Night after night he suffered the dreams that made him wake up screaming silently in his head.

He existed on the few hours his dream allowed him each night. Sometimes it felt as if the dreams allowed him only enough sleep to keep him alive and moderately sane.

He refused to consult the doctors any more. They were worse than useless and he did not care for the looks they exchanged when he went to them, requesting yet another sleep med.

He would find a way to cure himself, using the Force if he had to. But he would learn to sleep again and banish these cursed visions. No matter what.

*************************************************

?Oh, Ani, you look so handsome,? Shmi said quietly.

He could almost feel the weight of her in his arms. He could almost feel the horrible brokenness of her body.

She closed her eyes and then sighed deeply. She was still and quiet for a long time, and he pulled her closer in his fear. Opening her eyes, she gazed up at him with growing horror. She raised a shaking hand to touch the black mask he knew covered his face now.

She shook her head in vehement denial. ?You?re not my son,? she said. Even as her words were swept up into a whirlwind, he watched the flesh disappear from her body.

?My Ani wouldn?t let me die?let me die?let me die??

He st

 

They had always wanted two children ? a boy and a girl. Anakin and Padme had spent many happy hours, wrapped in each other?s arms, dreaming of them. They had always agreed on a name for their son. He would have been Luke.

But deciding on a name for their daughter had not been as easy. Inevitably, the discussion ended with them both weak from laughter as their choices grew more and more outrageous.

Then they would kiss each other warmly and their laughter would be burned away by passion. ?Tomorrow,? he would murmur against her lips. ?We?ll choose a name for our daughter tomorrow.?

Then all of their tomorrows had been swept away by betrayal and hatred.

In the stillness of the night, the Dark Lord wept.

Great ending! Powerful and intense!

 

Wow! That was so intense!

Great job, as always

 

Whoa! Okay, that gave me goosebumps! It was so eerie. The nightmare with Shmi, when she reaches up for the mask and tells him he is not her son. *shudder*

Another masterpiece!

 

This was really good.

I liked his dream of Luke and Leia telling him they could have been his. Very powerful.

Great work.

 

Once more he had woken up, what remained of his flesh sweating profusely until he felt like he was covered in ice. It had been a lifetime since he had thought of the Jedi Knight who had plucked him off the sands of Tatooine. Of all his former brethren, Qui-Gon alone could have gained his mercy.

But he knew that Qui-Gon would have fallen proudly along side his fellow Jedi. He would not have wanted or accepted the mercy of Darth Vader.

For some reason, I really liked his insight into Qui-Gon's character. This was intense and powerful, and well written. Not that I expect anything less. Wonderful!

 

Very nice! It fits right in with the month of October! Loved it, and I'm not just saying that!

 

Another wonderful story from you. You seem to be endlessly creative! Such a sad and touching story.

 

Amazing! That was just simply amazing!

 

Wow. So powerful and poignant. I love your viggies, VaderLVR64!

 

I don't know what I can say that everyone else hasn't said already. That was such a sad, moving piece. I can well imagine Vader would spend many long nights haunted by visions of the past and the possible futures.

I loved him seeing his children, but to me, the vision of Shmi denying Vader as her son was the most powerful.

Beautiful work as always!

Kristeh

 

?I?m sorry,? Lord Vader whispered into the darkness.

But there was no one to hear him.


Each section was very short and powerful. You captured his torment very well.

 

Jedi_Chani Thank you! I'm glad you liked it.

LaYa_ Thanks!

Gina I thought his mother's words would hurt the worst! Thanks for reading!

JediMaster_Jen Thank you! I'm glad you liked it, I enjoy your work very much so it means a lot.

AnakinsHeir Wow! Thanks!

VadersMistress Thank you. You know I love you.

Dally My muse has been kind lately, so I'm getting ready for her to kick the you-know-what out of me soon! Thank you for reading.

Arwyn_Whitesun Thank you!

Laine_Snowtrekker I have a short attention span, so viggies work better for me! Thank you for reading.

kristeh I liked that one, too! Thank you for reading! Now get to work on your latest AU, I want to read more of it!

MY-T-Chewbacca Thank you!

 

Wow! Talk about heavy angst there... you've done it again VaderLVR64!!! This particular part cut through me the most besides Luke and Leia talking to him as kids.

The tall, noble Jedi from the memories of a child stood straight and tall before him. The sadness and betrayal in the man?s eyes struck at Vader, hitting nerves he did not know still existed.

?Obi-Wan warned me about you,? he whispered. ?But I wouldn?t listen.?

He stared at Vader, his disgust evident on his face. ?You killed everything I gave my life for; all of it is gone now.?

He turned away from Vader and soon all he saw was the Jedi?s cloak whipping about the broad back as the wind howled around them. But the sound of his voice drifted back, carried to him by the merciless wind.

?You are a traitor?traitor?traitor??

that was so sad... Excellent work!!

 

What a powerful story! Bravo!

 

Awesome! That was great!

[hl=black]darth_nemisis[/hl]

 

ooh the angst is good.

 

Wow - I've not read a lot of Vader fics before but I really loved this insight into his troubled psyche, and the way he viewed each of the people who'd one been - or could have been - important in his life. I especially liked the Qui-Gon one and Vader's knowledge that Qui-Gon would have died along with the other Jedi if given the choice between survival and an honorable death.

Really enjoyed this!

 

Kynstar What can I say, angst abounds sometimes! Thank you so much for reading this.

StarFighter5 Thank you so much!

darth_nemisis Thank you!

SilSolo Thank you, I love a little angst!

Jemmiah Wow! Thanks so much! I'm glad you liked it.

 

Wonderfully written. Very moving, and haunting. It was written excellent, as usual. A hartbreaking view of Vader's life.

In the stillness of the night, the Dark Lord wept

 

Wonderful irony, too, since those kids really are his, biologically.

 

That was heartbreaking. You really set the standard for Vader-angst with that one.

That little bit about Qui-Gon was horrible. He meant so much to Anakin, and to have him just turn away, even in a dream. Wow. You have to feel sorry for Vader, that's got to be one of the worst experiences.

They had always wanted two children ? a boy and a girl. Anakin and Padme had spent many happy hours, wrapped in each other?s arms, dreaming of them. When you think of all that could have been...

 

Oh man think of how tormenting that would be. To be barely kept alive in armor, half machine, only to live with those tormenting dreams, the knowledge of what you did, and what might've been....

 

*Gasp!* Awww!!! :_l Soooo sad!!! And very beautiful! thank you for sharing it with us! Definitly putting that on my list of fav stories from the boards.

Caslia

 

Just discovered this. Very moving. And so sad... The dreams were so chilling... *shudders* The ending was so powerful and touching. Great job! I always love good angsty Vader fics...