Saga Ep II: "Duel of the Fates"- new post and PARTY INSIDE!!!

Just upping this so I can find it later.

Should any of my readers enter, I apologize for the delay regarding the next post. However, my writing the past few days has been sub-par, but I believe I have gotten back in the groove, so to speak, today.

Later,
-Tim

 

Wow!! Wohoo!! We're on page 2!!

Sorry, just felt the need to celebrate. Drinks are on me.

-Tim

 

Takes drink from Tim.... Thanks, mind if I join the party?

 

Kitara:

Feel free! New reader...wohoo!!

-Tim

 

Hello everyone.

Sorry about the delay, but I was having serious problems with this post-for a long while, it just wasn't working. Luckily I found a solution that fixed most of the problem, even if I'm not quite as happy with this post as I have been with the last two. But I'm going to revise this after it's done, so we'll just run with it for now. Which brings me to my next subject:

Melyanna's informing me last week of the statistical chances of getting one's story posted on the TFN archive has caused me to reach a decision: this baby's going to the archive when done. There's nothing that makes me want to do something more than telling me I probably can't do it.

With that in mind, I ask a favor of my readers, many of whom are extremely talented writers: I have betas, and very good ones at that. BUT-if you see some flaw in my writing, of whatever nature, feel free to point it out. I'm not one of those insecure writers who can't deal with criticism. I have confidence in my plot and my writing, but I'm not an egomaniac who thinks I'm the best thing to hit ff since the internet, and damn anyone who dare criticize. So if you can think of a way I can improve my writing, please tell me.

Finally, I have changed the location of the cloning facility from Mandalore to Wayland (note I edited Sid's line in the second post) because I could not explain, without some deus ex machina backstory how I could have it placed on Mandalore. For those of you who have read Tim Zahn's "Heir to the Empire" trilogy, you will recall Wayland was a small planet with a secret location which served as the Emperor's "stash" of secret technology. Wayland, in the Zahn novels, also contained 20,000 cloning cylinders. I thought it would be cool to link my version of the PT to my favorite works of the EU.

And now, on with the story.

Thanks for your patience,
-Tim

P.S. the rest of the main characters will show up soon. Be patient. Heheheh.


News of the Senator?s disappearance had spread like wildfire throughout the Galaxy. Reaction in the Senate itself evolved from shock, to panic, and finally to heated fury. Speculation as to the perpetrators ran wild. Rumors were everywhere, soon to multiply and take on lives of their own. The public, like their representatives, were screaming for action. All eyes were turned towards the same man, Chancellor Palpatine.

Palpatine had convened a special session of the Senate, declaring a state of emergency. The military was mobilized, investigative committees appointed, and protective measures were being taken at this very moment.

As a result, a hologram of the Supreme Chancellor now stood in the center of the Council Chambers in the Jedi Temple.

??as you are aware, I am committed to doing everything within my power to protect the integrity of the Republic. I have instructed all of our intelligence and investigative agencies to use all available resources to track down those who committed this horrible act. I come before you because once again, the Republic requires your assistance. By the power vested in me by the Senate and the Citizens of the Republic, I hereby invoke Article 5 of the Constitution, and call upon the Jedi to help protect the members of the Senate from further attacks. I have prepared a list of Senators with similar political affiliations to Aks Moe, which I will deliver to you shortly.?

?We assure you, Chancellor Palpatine, that the Jedi shall do everything in our power to protect the Senate," Mace Windu answered.

?Excellent. I beg your pardon, Masters, but I must take your leave in preparation for a press conference.?

?This is a most strange development,? remarked Ki-Adi-Mundi. ?We must respond to the Chancellor?s command, but we cannot neglect our other duties. So, I ask you, who do we send??

*******

On the main continent of the unpopulated planet Wayland, the imposing bulk of Mount Tantiss rose above the dense forest. Near the base of the mountain on its southwest facing, the forest had been cleared in a kilometer-wide circle,

 

keep up the good work

 

Enter, the clones. You're doing a fantastic job with the military aspect, within the AOTC timeframe.

Am

 

Very, very nice attention to detail, Tim. You're setting your stage extremely well - which always means that, when the action comes hot and heavy, you won't have to take the time (and kill your momentum) by stopping to describe something.

Excellent beginning.

Good luck with your archiving attempts, but - if I may, would you object to a bit of advice? Have fun writing your story; make it the best you can and (GASP!) screw the consequences!

Trust me - such an attitude makes for a much happier, less complicated, and certainly less frustrated life. If it means that much to you, set up your own Web site - and archive it there. I don't mean to sound like I'm downplaying the contributions of the "Powers that be" who decide what gets archived and what doesn't - but the whole process is just way too subjective and fraught with the possibility of personal issues getting in the way of objective judgement, to allow yourself to get upset by it.

I like what you've done and am looking forward to more. So shall we guess exactly who the daring duo is meant to be? My money's on Obi/Ani, since I know that's where your heart lies - but you're a sly fox, too, so I wouldn't rule out an appearance by Qui-Gon either. So don't dawdle around, OK? Give us a clue.

 

Cynic knows what she is talking about when she gives advice. Her stories may walk on the edge of acceptable for some ratings, but they are beautifully written with character depth and emotion. Overall, the most important thing is writer/reader enjoyment. Personally, I don;t care whether or not this gets archived. What I care about is that you write to your own satisfaction which is more important than satisfying any committee.

 

Cynic knows what she is talking about when she gives advice. Her stories may walk on the edge of acceptable for some ratings, but they are beautifully written with character depth and emotion. Overall, the most important thing is writer/reader enjoyment. Personally, I don;t care whether or not this gets archived. What I care about is that you write to your own satisfaction which is more important than satisfying any committee. >>

"I am NOT a committee!" LOL. No, I'm not really changing anything to satisfy the reviewers-I don't need erotica or graphic battle scenes to make the story work-I just felt that if I had written a good story to the best of my abilities, I would submit it.

I don't think writing the story I want to write and getting it archived are mutually exclusive-I am enjoying this very much, actually, the challenge of making a complex story work is something I find very stimulating-as is the nature of the story itself. During the PT we have romance, a huge war, political maneuvering, the corruption of Anakin Skywalker, all kinds of stuff. That's good, because I like to write a story that has a little bit of everything-action, romance, suspense, drama, angst, etc. It's challenging, and the kind of thing I like to read-and true to the spirit of the SW films.

As for the comments on wanting to improve my writing, that's true whether I want to archive this or not-I'm always trying to improve, to do the best I am capable of doing, and I'm not hung up on my ego.

I didn't write this solely to go on the archive, and I haven't changed a single sentence of my 6-page single-spaced plot summary since I thought of eventually submitting it. But I will say this-if I didn't think this story was good enough, if I didn't have confidence, I would never have written it. I've wanted to write my version of the prequels for 2 years, before I even knew the JC or TFN archive existed. I wrote it because I felt it needed to be written, and because I really, really wanted to write it. If the archive rejects it, I'm not going to gripe and moan and wear sackcloth or engage in self-flagellation, or launch a tirade at the reviewers which would make a veteran sailor blush. That's not my style, and there are things in my life far more important.

As for Cynical21, she is a person whose talent in writing I admire, and who I enjoy arguing with, LOL (you should know from RRK's thread, heheh)

Hope that explains things better,
-Tim

 

Tim- your presence on RRK's thread certainly does spice things up. You shouldn't get rid of that flame retardent suit someone loaned you

 

That would be me that loaned the suit. *waves*

I'd like to support Tim's request for good critiques. I'm one of his betas for this fic and admit to being far from perfect! Any advice, or stuff I missed, feel free to bring up! We all want this fic to be absolutely phenomenal.

 

Tim- your presence on RRK's thread certainly does spice things up. You shouldn't get rid of that flame retardent suit someone loaned you >>

My armor's too strong for blasters...heheh.

BTW, thanks, Mara.

-Tim.

 

::Waits with battered breath for the story to continue....::

 

Rise, my thread. Assume your rightful place on page one...

-Tim

 

UP

 

Just upping this...

I promise, guys, new post soon. I hope maybe tomorrow or Sunday.

The good news is we finally get to meet Obi and Ani! Wohoo!

Later,
-Tim

 

So you're going to bring my favorite hero (I think you know which one) into the picture just as I leave.

See you in a week. ALOHA

 

Just upping by!

Tim, where are you? If I can find the time to update - why can't you?

 

Cyn: Usually it takes me 2 days to write the post (1 to write by hand first, 1 to type), then 1-4 days to hear back from my betas, and another day to revise it before finally posting, based on the limited free time I have. Though the last two posts I was having some difficulty fine-tuning, so they took somewhat longer.

Anyway, now for the moment you've all been waiting for..well, if you're an A/A fan maybe not-you'll have to wait for the *next* post...

-Tim



Obi Wan strode alone down the silent halls of the Jedi Temple, headed for Master Windu?s chambers to be informed of his new mission. He also assumed Mace would likely ask about the training of his Padawan, which was his usual custom.

Some had thought it odd indeed, that the possible Chosen One would be entrusted to Kenobi, least of all Obi-Wan himself. The death of his Master, his promotion to Knight, and his receiving a new Padawan had all taken place in only a few days. Obi-Wan was not a man to shy from his duty to the Jedi Order, but at the time he felt he was entirely unready.

A month later, he had approached Yoda with his concerns.

?Learn together, you will,? the diminutive Master had said. ?Move beyond your Master?s death, you must. A great Jedi, you shall be.?

Anakin had indeed proven a handful, but Obi-Wan was often astonished at how strongly the Force was with him. Despite his late introduction into the Jedi training, he progressed at an utterly astonishing rate.

It had not been a painless journey, however. Anakin at once aroused suspicion and envy among his peers- he was proclaimed to be not only ?special,? but had never had to struggle through the initiate phase, instead getting automatically apprenticed to a Master who had defeated a Sith, no less. Therefore, Anakin tended to keep to himself most of the time, obsessively tinkering with any mechanical device in sight. Otherwise, his sensitive and passionate nature would get him into fights with other Padawans.

As for Obi Wan, great things were predicted of him. Some speculated if he would eventually join the Council, and few could pose any serious objection as to his suitability.

Obi Wan?s mind, however, did not dwell on rumor or speculation. His thoughts were entirely on the coming mission as he arrived at the entrance to Master Windu?s chambers.

?Hello, Knight Kenobi,? Windu greeted him, motioning Obi Wan inside the office.

?The Council has an assignment for Anakin and I? I suppose it would perhaps be related to Chancellor Palpatine?s proclamation??

?Your intuition serves you well. You and Anakin are to report to the Senate Building tomorrow morning. You will meet with General DeVries of the Guards, and he will assign you to your Senator. May the Force be with you.?

Obi Wan bowed from the waist and exited the room.

Anakin was not hard to find, he knew, as he entered the large vehicle maintenance hangar on the Temple?s ground floor. Anakin had recently managed to charm his way into the Temple?s motor pool staff, and spent most of his idle time with a hydrospanner in hand. He consistently amazed his supervisor, Master Rendi, with the ability to fix anything, usually improving performance by a few percent in the process.

Kenobi spied him underneath a rather decrepid looking speeder, two long legs clad in mechanic's coveralls protruded from under the starboard wing. ?Anakin?? he said, getting his attention over the sound of tools and machinery.

A hand came into view, setting a macrofuser down next to an array of tools lying at the speeder?s side. Anakin Skywalker pushed himself out from underneath the speeder?s body, rising to his full 2 meter height.

?Yes, Master??

?We?ve been assigned to the Senate, Anakin. We leave tomorrow morning, so get your things in order.?

***

Fett had taken his two guests to the fringes of a stretch of open grassland. They stopped along the edge of the treeline, and Fett passed each of the other men a pair of binoculars.

?It is time for a demonstration of what my men are c

 

Oh, my, dare I say it? The plot is definitely thickening.

One quick question - which is probably more of an observation than a question. How old is Anakin here? If you mentioned it already, forgive my advancing Alzheimer's - but I assume, since you mentioned his rather extreme height, that he's all grown up. Somehow, at the beginning, I thought he was going to be younger. Not complaining, mind you; just asking. The confusion is, undoubtedly, all in my own mind.

Oh, and for an Ani-lover, you do a pretty nice, well-rounded, (sigh) delectable Obi-Wan.

Really a good job, Tim. Your description of military methodology sounds spot on to me (although I admit my own knowledge in this area leaves much to be desired. I find writing battle scenes - or military strategy passages - to be the most difficult of all.) Give me a good old-fashioned, sweat-and-sinews love scene and I'm in my element. But you've really got it down to a science.

Nice touch with putting Gunray out of his whining misery - an image that will draw a resounding "YES!" from your readers, no matter who is wielding the saber.

Hope it won't be too long til you post again - but I do understand. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just concentrate on doing what we love to do - and forget everything else?

 

*singing* Ding dong, Gunray's dead, Gunray's dead! *singing*

Great job Tim! I for one cannot wait for the next post. I know, I know, hopeless.

 

Oh, my, dare I say it? The plot is definitely thickening. >>

We're just getting started, my friend. Heheheh.

One quick question - which is probably more of an observation than a question. How old is Anakin here? If you mentioned it already, forgive my advancing Alzheimer's - but I assume, since you mentioned his rather extreme height, that he's all grown up. Somehow, at the beginning, I thought he was going to be younger. Not complaining, mind you; just asking. The confusion is, undoubtedly, all in my own mind. >>

Maybe I didn't state this, and if so I apologize: the fic starts 10 years post-TPM. Therefore Ani is 20, Obi is 34, (I think that's right) and Ami 24.

Oh, and for an Ani-lover, you do a pretty nice, well-rounded, (sigh) delectable Obi-Wan. >>

Well, thank you.

Really a good job, Tim. Your description of military methodology sounds spot on to me (although I admit my own knowledge in this area leaves much to be desired. I find writing battle scenes - or military strategy passages - to be the most difficult of all.) Give me a good old-fashioned, sweat-and-sinews love scene and I'm in my element. But you've really got it down to a science. >>

Cyn, I am actually in the process of revising an article on writing battle scenes, which shall be posted to the archive's articles section. But you ain't seen nothin' yet, as we say down here in Texas-there is a battle coming up later that has 1,000 capital ships, 1,000 starfighters and about 15,000 men.

Nice touch with putting Gunray out of his whining misery - an image that will draw a resounding "YES!" from your readers, no matter who is wielding the saber. >>

Thanks. I can't stand that guy, and he'd be the weak link in Sidious' chain. All Sid was keeping him around for was to finance the operation, but at this point in time the clone force is now ready for action. Also, I wanted to illustrate how Raptor is a calculating, cold-blooded killer, and more intelligent and articulate than the more primal Maul.

Hope it won't be too long til you post again - but I do understand. Wouldn't it be nice if we could just concentrate on doing what we love to do - and forget everything else? >>

Amen!! I am working on the next post as we speak. After that, it's in the hands of my very capable betas.

-Tim

 

*wince* ok, ok, hint taken... *grumbles incoherently*

 

*wince* ok, ok, hint taken... *grumbles incoherently* >>

Was not a complaint, Mara my friend, just a statement. No hidden messages intended.

-Tim