Everything Has an End

Okay this happens during the time when all the Jedi were being killed. I hope you like the story. I like to no what you think.
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He stood there watching his padawan sleep. She seams so small when she sleeps. Just a little girl. His young padawan, only at the age of 13, her hair cut like a boy, short and brown with a jade color streak in it. She was not very tall but looked the age of 7 or 8. When you looked into her eyes... Oh, how I wish these big green eyes had less years in them. They have seen to muck death for one so young.
"Master?" a weary young sleepy voice said. Eil-Wst looked into her eyes. "Master what will happen next? Will they find us and then..." she couldn't finish.
"No, young padawan. Do not worry about that, close you eyes and sleep. You are safe here."
"Yes, Master," with that she closed her eyes and fell into a sleep full of dreams. Dreams with out mercy.

"Master we can't leave, not now. We have to save the temple."
"We must leave now padawan. The council said we must leave, that we must live."
"But all my friends they are still in there."
"The Force has picked their paths, now we must follow ours." When her Master was done saying that there was a pain greater than all. The temple was gone.
"Master!!" she screamed tears flowing down her face. Her Master ran to her and hugged her tight she was shaking, not from clod but from the cry of her family.

Esa woke up with a start. "MASTER!!" she yelled.
Her Master slept on the other side of the room. When he heard her yell he was on his feet in seconds.
He sees her sitting on her bed shaking. "What is it padawan?" he asked as he picked her up and sat her on his lap.
"Master, why are they after us? What have the Jedi done? I thought that we are keepers of peace."
"We are keepers of peace. That is why they want us dead. Some people want to have the ultimate power but we stand in their way. That is why they want to get rig of us." Esa buried her face into her Master's chest. Her tears coming down now freely.
There was a soft knock at the door. Eil-Wst looked up from his padawan, that clung to him like it was the different between life and death. "Come," he called. The door opened and in walked the little Jedi Master Yoda. Eil-Wst bowed as far as he could with his padawan in his arms.
Yoda nodded his head. "Sleep she is," he said.
Eil-Wst looked back down a Esa. She still clung to him but now it was just for the feeling of safety. She was breathing with silent cries. "Yes," he said looking back at Yoda.
"Good, for here we are. Leave you must. Carry her you shall."
"You want us to leave with out good-byes?" Eil-Wst asked not figuring why that would do any good.
"Hard for Esa goodbye is. Easy on her if leave with out."
Eil-Wst didn't want to do that. Not again, not after last time. Last time they had to leave the temple and Esa didn't get to say goodbye. Yes not getting to see them had saved her some heart ache. Yes this is for the best. I am so sorry padawan. He looked around at their bad and back at Master Yoda. "Yes, Master." He bowed his head at the Jedi Master as he walked out of the room.
Eil-Wst slowly stood up being careful not to wake his padawan.
He looked down at her bed and called his padawan's lightsabre to his hand. He placed her lightsabre next to his, on his belt.
He walk over to the closet and pulled out his robe, wrapping it around himself and his padawan. He reached back in to grab her robe. Your too small. Why did this have to happen to you. My poor padawan. He pulled out the robe and walked over to their bags. Before he picked the up there was a voice behind him. He turned around to find the Jedi Knight Obi-wan Kenobi.
"Master Yoda said you could use some help with your things," Obi-wan said pointing to the bags.
"Yes, thank you Obi-wan." Obi-wan walked over and picked up the two bags. He followed Eil-Wst off the ship. Some distance from the ship he put them down again.
He bowed to Eil-Wst and then started back to the ship. Before he was very far he turned back around and sai

 

This is very good and has the potential for becoming a fabulous story. The only real problem was that it was a little choppy, which made it difficult for me to process. I think if you just put more details and linking words into your next post you'll be fine. I sympathized with Eil-Wst and Esa -- they're both very viable, human characters.

Keep it up -- POST!

[This message has been edited by Jedi Tamara (edited 05-21-2000).]

 

Here is the next part. Thank for reading this Jedi Tamara.
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When Esa woke the next morning it was around 10:00. At first she didn't know where she was. The last thing she remembered from last night, was holding onto her Master, in his safe arms where no one would find her.
No I can't think that I need to stay focused. She looked around to find out where she was. She lay in a bed on the opposite wall from the door. On the left wall was another bed. There were no windows; the only way in or out was the door.
She got out of her bed and slowly walked to the door. With a shaky hand she open the door. There in the other room sat her Master. Now reliving they were in their sage house she relaxed some.
Now somewhat relaxed and open to the Force her Master said, "Good morning Padawan."
"Good morning, Master." She walked over to where her Master sat on the floor. She sat down facing him and closed her eyes.
Open your self to the Force, Padawan. Stretch out to the living Force.
Yes, Master Esa open her mind to the Force. It was so alive with so many beings, but there was something out there, something dark. Master!
Yes Esa I feel it too, they are here.
What are we going to do?
Live, that is what we are going to do.
Esa opened her eyes to find her Master studying her. She meat his eyes and said, "Will they find us here?"
"I wish I could tell you that they will never find us but the truth is I really don't know, I really don't know."

For the rest of the day Esa had to practice with her lightsabre. Eil-Wst sat nearby watching.
"Clear you mind, Esa. Let the Force flow through you."
"Yes Master," she murmured. She cleared her mind as best she could. the remote was just in front of her. Lock, jump, duck, block...the rhythm of the moves kept coming, non-stop but she kept moving as the Force told her what to do.
After about five minutes of this the remote finally stopped and went behind her master. Eil-Wst stood up and pulled out his lightsaber. "Okay now let's do this again," he said.
They both bowed to each other and then lifted their sabers. Esa raised hers into the classic guard position and so did Eil-Wst. There is no way I am going to lose to him again Esa thought. Eil-Wst looked deep into his Padawan's eyes. Seeing the determination not to lose in them. He stood there waiting for her to attack, but it did not some. So you are going to be patient for once. You have never been on the defense now let's see how you do. Ei-Wst swung his saber down and to the left. Esa swung and blocked the blow, but when the two sabers hit there was a big boom. The wall blew up, knocking Esa over and unconscious.
Eil-Wst stood protectively in front of his padawan, waiting to see what would happen next. You are not going to get my padawan. He stole a quick glance at her, she lay unmoving. If I have to die for you, I will. They will not get you. You will live like you should. Just then blasters started firing and Eil-Wst started deflecting them.

 

Jedi_Borme, it's no problem to read such a great story line. I loved the last post -- it was far easier to follow. Please don't take the next bit as criticism, as I tend to be very anal about grammer and spelling (too many courses in literary criticism). There were a couple of simple mistakes that shouldn't have been there, such as <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Geneva,Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> With a shaky hand she open the door. (it should be opened, not open)

IMPORTANT: If you find any of my comments AT ALL discouraging or hurtful, let me know and I'll stop immediately. Like I said, I've had three years of learning literary criticism and I tend to integrate that into my posts. When do literary critics ever know what they're talking about, anyhow?

After posting this, I reread my first post and discovered a bunch of typos of my own. Case in point -- I'm such an idiot! rolleyes.gif

[This message has been edited by Jedi Tamara (edited 05-21-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Jedi Tamara (edited 05-21-2000).]

 

I don't mine that you say stuff but I will tell you this spelling is not my strong point in school. I am glad that you under stood the last post.
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"Have you found them yet?" asked Bob.
"We believe so, my Lord. I have sent a group of men to bring them to us," said another man.
"Did you remind them to being the ysalamari with them this time? Eil-Wst is very strong and he will be more alert having a padawan now."
"Yes, I reminded them, my Lord but I thought that a Jedi cared for no one."
"They care for no one but each other. They are also very protective of their padawans."
"Okay," the man turned and stared to leave.
"Get the padawan and Eil-Wst will be easy to control."
"Yes, sir."

He didn't know how long he had been deflecting blaster bolts before he had to jump for cover.
Eil-Wst had gone to move Esa to a safe spot but could not call on the Force. So they have ysalamaris. Now how...Aaaag. Eil-Wst fell to the ground as a stun bolt hit him in the back.

Esa slowly climbed her way back to consciousness. She went to open her eyes but only could see darkness. Now she could feel restraints around her ankles, stomach, wrist, and there was something around her neck.
Where am I, what happened? She looked around the dark room looking for something, anything. She went to open herself to the Force but could not grab it. It was there, she could feel it, but something or someone was blocking it. "Master," she whispered before a electric heat ran through her. She went to cry out but air was stolen from her as the thing around her neck became very tight.
After what seemed like hours it stopped. The restraint around her neck loosened, letting her gasp for air. Her body lay limp on the table. She didn?t know how much more her body could take, without the Force and especially without air.

Bob watched as the young girl climbed back to consciousness. He put a Force blanket around her to keep her from calling on the Force. When she was awake her looked at the man that sat next to him. "Set it for one minute and start," Bob said.
The man put the info. Into the machine and hit the start key. Both men looked as the girl was about to scream. Bob pulled a device from his robe and hit the button, the girl?s scream never came from her month.
"Put the Master where he can watch her. I want to hear him cry and beg us to stop hurting her." Bob left the room after the man had nodded his understanding.
As he walked down the corridor listening to the screams of the young girl, he started to think, Is this right, to hurt one so young? She could still be saved, so why do we kill the young? Her Master should die, but should she? With that thought an idea came to his mind. He walked down the corridor happy about his new plans.

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I don't know when I will get to post the next part. I most likely will get to post it Friday. I hope you liked that last part.

 

That last post was fabulous. How can he torture that poor little girl???!!!

 

cool

 

[smirks in relief] My plan has worked. Other people are checking out this thread! Waiting for Friday to roll around . . .

 

I finally get to post the next part and here is is.
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The room had a gim light that was still painful to the eyes. After being in a room with no light and then going into a room with light, Esa had a very bad headache.
Actually I don't no what hurts more right now. It feels like I have been laying here for the past two hours.
Esa lay in the corner in a fetal position. She had pulled the Force around her, trying to calm her nerves. She could now call on it to heal but if she tried to call to Eil-Wst the Force blacnket would came back.
There was food over by the door but she made no move to get up and eat. For now the sight of food made her feel sick, but yet she was very hungry. I don't think I can swallow anything. Not with this choke-collar on. I want this thing off and I want my Master. Esa finally let the tear roll down her face, as she wondered if she was ever going to get to seee Eil-Wst again.

Eil-Wst paced his cell with worry. He knew that he needed to get out. He needed to find her, before anything else happened to her. He had watched as they had tortured her. He was helpless to help her as she screamed his name over and over again. All that he was worried about was getting out, finding Esa and holding her. To protect his daughter.
He heard the door to his cell open as the Dark Jedi walked in. Eil-Wst stood ready to rum from the room if he could find the opportunity.
"Jedi Master Eil-Wst Taesbo. I am Bob. I came her to tell you there may be away to save your Padawan from a slow death." Eil-Wst was ready to kill Bob and Bob say it in his eyes. "Your Padawan right now is wearing a choke-collar and it is on a dead man's swich. If you kill me she will die a very slow and painful death before you can find her and save her. You can save her this death by telling me where the last living Jedi are."
"We are the last. Two, that is all and you have us."
Bob looked at him for a long time, then said "When you are ready to tell me I will be back." Bob walked from the room, closing the door behind him, or so he thought.

 

Upping for the move