Excuses, Excuses.... The World's Longest Excuse

I don't know if this is out there already, but I'm willing to try anyway. This is an idea that struck me after posting the reason why I couldn't update my next drabble, which stated:

"I was going to post.... but my plot bunny got ran over by a speeding idea, the idea's tire went flat, the thought behind it got out and was hit by a busload of possiblities. And teacher, that's why my short fiction paper's late. And that was after the dog ate it. "

So, as being a reformed lurker, I started thinking about all the excuses I had read in the past, and then started thinking about all the excuses I still give for everything I can think of, I realized, Heck, why not make it fun?

So Here's the Idea:

I'll start off with a small excuse. And then add one more excuse, and so on and so on. Let's see how Creative we can be.

The Excuse:

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...

 

I was gonna post my Week 8 drabbles but I was abducted by aliens!

Pun so totally intended.

 

And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with...

 

I guess I didn't get it. sorry.

 

I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, come to find out that the llama...

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from the police

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good forteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from th

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned fro

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned fr

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from

 

So you see, I was going to post, but my computer suddenly started smoking...And I won't allow that kind of thing in my house, so I made it go outside. While I was waiting for it to finish so I could continue, I was abducted by aliens...who wanted me to help them meet Elvis Presley and wouldn't listen when I said he'd died thirty years ago. So then I got an idea; I could...
do what we used to do in band camp, it was soooo funny. I could only remember that something was funny, just not what, so I wandered around my house racking my memory, went back to the computer I meant to post with... I was going to post, but the CIA abducted me for leaking state secrets and it turned out that "George Lucas" is actually Dubya Bush, which explains his crappy writing skills in AOTC, but I digress. The point is, I don't know anything! They set fire to my laptop and made me eat jell-o! I barely got out alive...

And then when I did finally get out, a llama randomly walked up my street, and told me I stunk. To which I replied "You smell funny" which he didn't get, because he'd never seen Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, my dog ran out of the house with his tail on fire, and I tried to call the fire department but my phone was out...

Well, obviously, I was morally obligated to show the llama Pirates of the Caribbean so he'd get my joke, but then I remembered I'd lent my copy to Phil down in Yakama, which was a good fourteen hour drive. Considering that my house was burning down, I figured I might as well, so we took a greyhound. But the greyhound broke down halfway there, and as it was being fixed, I WAS going to utilize the internet cafe nearby, but...

then I remembered that my laptop was in my house that was on fire! So of course I had to go buy a new laptop.

Therefore I had to go to the bank and withdraw some money to buy a laptop. Since I didn't have my bank account number with me, it took nearly an hour to make the bank teller believe that I was for real and not some random person trying to steal money. I finally got the money, and then I needed to get a taxi to go to Staples to purchase a laptop. But all the taxis were busy, and there was another bus coming through, going to Yakama. So I got on the bus...

and Darth RealLife was there, we had a really good lightsaber fight on the bus until the driver threw us off so we had to continue it outside a cinema. I managed to escape from Darth by running into a movie theatre without a ticket, but I couldn't escape as I was absconded by...

The security guard, who for some reason didn't believe my story when I said I was only using the theatre to hide from Darth RL, and not so I could see a movie for free. He took me down town, but since he was only hired security and not the "real thing," his form of down town was the 7/11 down the road. So, I had money to buy a new laptop, but no taxis in sight, and no telephone, as the dog had eaten it the previous week. I went inside the store to buy a little stick of gum to widdle away the time, when I happened upon...

The llama from earlier who insisted that we go see pirates of the Carribean, so we went to the bus stop to try and continue our journey, anyways on the bus we started to argue, and you know how embarrassing it is to argue in public, so we got off the bus in the middle of nowhere to continue our argument...

when the 3:25 bus was pulling over to pick us up and lost control and hit the llama. Well, obviously, being a witness to the event, the police wanted to take me downtown, which they did. And you won't believe it, but they thought I was a suspect to the llama's murder. And I thought, why would there be anyone who wanted to kill a llama, I mean, sure he was annoying and all, and was arguing with me in public, but why? But still the California Mafia was after him. Why, you might ask. Well, get this, I've come to find out that the llama...

was in fact in cahoots with the VERY ALIENS that indirectly caused the events that I somehow link vaguely to the cause of my house fire! And these aliens, as I learned from

 

"Downtown morgue, you stab them, we slab them."

"I'm sorry," I said with a puzzled frown, "I have the wrong number. I thought this was the little known number to the investigative team that solves weird things."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot I was at work... I've been on vacation you know because of the writer's strike and..."