Saga Fall of the Sith (AU RoTS, A/P, Mace Windu, and more..)--**COMPLETE** **New Story Link Posted**

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Souderwan, Jun 3, 2005.

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  1. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Hey's part VI. You may recognize this altered scene from the novelization. Hope you like it.


    C-3PO paused in the midst of dusting the Tarka-Null original on its display pedestal near his mistress?s bedroom view wall, and used the electrostatic tissue to briefly polish his own photoreceptors. The astromech in the green Jedi starfighter docking with the veranda below?could that be R2-D2?

    Well, this should be interesting.

    Senator Amidala had spent the better part of these predawn hours simply staring over the city, toward the Jedi Temple; now, at last, she might get some answers.

    He might, too. R2-D2 was far from the sort of sparkling conversationalist with whom C-3PO preferred to associate, but the little astromech had a positive gift for jacking himself into the motherboards of the most volatile situations?

    The cockpit popped open, and inevitably the Jedi within was revealed to be Anakin Skywalker. In watching Master Anakin climb down from the starfighter?s cockpit, 3PO?s photoreceptors captured data that unexpectedly activated his threat-aversion subroutines. ?Oh,? he said faintly, clutching at his power core. ?Oh, I don?t like the looks of this at all??

    He dropped the electrostatic tissue and shuffled as quickly as he could to the bedroom door. ?My lady,? he called to Senator Amidala, where she stood by the broad window. ?On the veranda. A Jedi starfighter,? he forced out. ?Has docked, my lady.?

    She blinked, then rushed toward the bedroom door.

    C-3PO shuffled along behind her and slipped out through the open door, making a wide circle around the humans, who were engaged in one of those inexplicable embraces they seemed so fond of.

    Reaching the starfighter, he said, ?Artoo, are you all right? What is going on??

    The astromech squeaked and beeped; C-3PO?s autotranslator interpreted: NOBODY TELLS ME ANYTHING.

    ?Of course not. You don?t keep up your end of the conversation.?


    ?You can?t possibly be more confused than I am.?


    ?Oh, very funny. Hush now?what was that??

    The Senator was sitting now, leaning distractedly on one of the tasteful, elegant bistro tables that dotted the veranda, while Master Anakin stood above her. ?I think?he?s saying something about the Chancellor?that he?s a Sith Lord...whatever that means! And?oh, my goodness. Mace Windu has killed Chancellor Palpatine! Can he be serious? ?


    C-3PO shook his cranial assembly helplessly. ?How can Master Windu be an assassin? He has such impeccable manners.?


    ?I?ve been hearing the most awful rumors?they?re saying the government is going to banish us?banish droids, can you imagine??


    ?Shh. Not so loud!?


    ?Of course we don?t.? C-3PO sighed. ?And we likely never will.?

    ?What about Obi-Wan??

    She looked stricken. Pale and terrified.

    It made him love her more.

    He shook his head. ?He?s on his way?? he replied. ?I think??

    ?But?? She stared out of the rivers of traffic crosshatching they sky. ?Are you sure? It seems so?unbelievable?.?

    ?I was there, Padme. It?s all true.?

    ?But what are we going to do? What does he want from us??

    ?We?re not going to find out. I want you on the first transport off the planet. Take 3PO and Artoo with you.? Anakin?s eyes looked desperate. ?I will follow as soon as I can. Tell no one where you?re going. I want you to go to Tatooine to my mother?s family in Mos Eisley. You should be safe there until I get there?and stay hidden.?

    ?Anakin,? Tears were flowing freely from Padme?s eyes. ?I can?t leave you. I need you. The baby needs you.?

    ?I know,? Anakin replied. ?And I will be with you. I promise, I have no intention of fighting any Je
  2. DarthAJ

    DarthAJ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 9, 2004
    Beautiful. Absolutly beautiful. You captured their emotions perfectly. Plus I was listening to "Across the Stars". Bravo! Best chapter yet. Keep up the excellent work.
  3. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. I'm happy to know you didn't think it was too sappy. :)

  4. Cat_Orange

    Cat_Orange Jedi Knight star 6

    Dec 18, 2002
    Mace has turned evil?! :eek:

    What an incredibly well written piece of fanfiction! I guess what I like so much about it is that you've made it sound completely believable, [I hate stories that simply don't add up] you've carried on Stover's novel so well. But you're characterisation is right on the spot - especially with Anakin and Padme. The chapter with the background information on Mas Amedda was well done, and... well, you've just blown me away with evil Mace.

    And now I want to know what happens next! :p
  5. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Cat and AJ,
    I'm glad you're enjoying the story. For those of you interested, the next part should be out sometime Wednesday night or so. :) Keep on reading.
  6. Nefertiti

    Nefertiti Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 15, 2004
    Wednesday!!?? How can I wait until Wednesday! Great job!
  7. Elfsheen

    Elfsheen Jedi Knight star 5

    Feb 9, 2003
    Boy, you sure do not waste any time

    *plugs this so she can find it*
  8. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    Hello all. This is a bonus part so I can buy myself time for the next part. Hope you enjoy. :D

    This is how it feels to be Anakin Skywalker, right now:

    You sit helplessly in your starfighter idling, parked in the sky two buildings away so she won?t see you. You watch the greatest love in your life board the skiff. She wasted no time at all; the skiff?s repulsorlifts engage before the landing ramp has retracted.

    You look at the empty socket where Artoo normally is and sigh. You hope she will be safe. As her skiff leaps for the sky, you watch the sunlight directed by Coruscant?s orbital mirrors glint of the gleaming surface of her ship. You find it as beautiful as she it. It is her sanctuary. As the ship continues to lift into the sky and disappear from view, you shift your view to monitor the tracking device you placed on her. You know she would never have approved but you had to know she was safe.

    When the device blinks out of existence momentarily, signaling the shift to hyperspace, you finally remember to breathe. All your hopes, fears, and dreams lay in that craft. That carriage is all that matters. And you breathe it all in.

    So many times, Obi-Wan had tried to explain the Force to you. So many times you had ignored his words because you thought he was trying to explain something that couldn?t be explained. You knew more than he did. You knew the Force.

    You know you were wrong.

    Obi-Wan Kenobi, your Master and best friend is the greatest Jedi Master you have ever met. All his teachings come rushing to you. All his words of advice. All his dire warnings. All his guidance over the years. All his love.

    And you breathe it in.

    The Force flows around you more strongly than before. You can feel the Masters as they board their ships hundreds and sometimes thousands of light-years away. The Jedi Knights are remaining in place and continuing the war. You know this but you don?t know how. You can feel it as surely as you can feel the hum of your idling starfighter.

    Three Masters are on their way. The strongest and best. But the one that matters to you the most is furthest behind. You fear for his life and you chide yourself. The fear of loss is a path to the dark side, young one. He could hear Yoda?s voice as clearly as he had those many days ago in the Jedi Masters quarters. The shadow of greed, attachment is. What you fear to lose, train yourself to release. Let go of fear, and loss cannot harm you.

    But you know better. You know that the dragon that beats inside your chest is capable of immeasurable power in the name of love. You know you mustn?t let go of that power. You know you mustn?t let it consume you, either. You must channel it. You must focus it. You must let the Force guide you to protect the ones you love. You become a vessel for the Force to act on. Then no harm can come to those you love. With the Force as your ally, you know you are invincible.

    And you breathe it in.

    Time is of the essence but time is all you have as you await the arrival of your friends. You realize now that they always been your friends. You realize, with deep sadness, that it is a friend who has fallen. You grieve his loss. But you don?t let the grief consume you.

    Obi-Wan was right about so many things. He was wrong about one thing. You have learned to master yourself.

    And you breathe it in.

    Slowly your eyes close and your breathing becomes deep. You perform the Jedi meditation more effectively than you ever have. You feel your body mending the damage you did to it. You feel your strength returning as you rest better than you ever have. No dreams torment your slumber. No horrors await your lidded eyes. Only blissful rest.

    All the pain is still there. All the fear resides in you still. All the anger and the frustration continue to smolder. And all the love you feel overwhelms them all.

    And you breathe it out.

    This is how it feels to be Anakin
  9. bobilll

    bobilll Jedi Padawan star 4

    Aug 8, 2002
    You've definently captured Stover's style really well! It's basically the antithesis of his portrayal of Anakin turning Dark... I like how you kept the ice-cold dragon illusion.
  10. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    I'm happy to hear you like it! :) I hope you like the rest. I might just get it done tomorrow. If not, it'll be Thursday. [face_worried]
  11. VaapadMaster

    VaapadMaster Jedi Youngling star 2

    Aug 12, 2004
    Excellent characterization. :D
  12. Rassick

    Rassick Jedi Youngling star 3

    Jan 26, 2004
    Impressive as always, Sounderwan. I like how you segued from Stover's narrative style ("This is how it feels to be so and so...") to your own. It was a well-executed transition. I especially liked the idea of Anakin "breathing" his fear in and out, it made it seem more tangible. Keep it up.
  13. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Feb 2, 2005
    I agree. If I didn't know better, I could have believed Stover himself wrote the material. It compliments the scenes in the book very well, but I find myself enjoying this more because I don't know exactly the direction its going in or where it'll end up.
  14. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    I'm truly flattered that you'd correlate my story so well with Mr. Stover's! Thanks.

    BTW, I realized not long ago that I didn't actually have a title for my story! I also realized that I didn't have the cool summary everybody else has. So...I've provided the cool summary thingie (I know...not exactly eloquent, am I? LOL [face_laugh]) at the top of the first post and I've given the story a name: "Fall of the Sith"

    What do you think?
  15. Cypher18

    Cypher18 Jedi Master star 4

    Apr 1, 2001
    Brilliant. Brilliant. Brilliant. Just found this story and I love it. You have captured the characters so well its breathtaking. Keep up the good work. I will be eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
  16. Paladin3030

    Paladin3030 Jedi Youngling

    May 27, 2005
    I just have a question what is going on at the temple there has to be a few masters, knights, & padawans there that know something is going on.

    I for one would love to see reactions from someone at the temple.
  17. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    It's funny you should ask about the temple....
  18. Barbarossa_Rotbart

    Barbarossa_Rotbart Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jun 3, 2004
    Something is happening at the temple. I think Darth Windu learned about Order 66 and would execute it and that is happening at the temple.
  19. Nefertiti

    Nefertiti Jedi Padawan star 4

    Oct 15, 2004
    YES! YES! Outstanding!
  20. Skywalker3248

    Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 5, 2005
    This last section is excellent as always, Souderwan, you really are developing a top-notch story here!!

    They way you have captured and adapted Stover's style is amazing, and great title BTW!
  21. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    OK, everybody. This is Part VII continued. Hope you enjoy!


    Mustafar burned with lava streaming from volcanoes of glittering obsidian.

    At the fringe of its gravity well, a spray of prismatic starlight warped a fleet of starships into existence. The fleet was massive, to say the least. Three star destroyers made their way, following a preprogrammed course toward the planet?s lone installation, an automated lava mine built originally by the Techno Union to draw precious metals from the continuous rivers of burning stone. They were followed by several Republic cruisers and battleships, each with a large complement of individual starfighters. They moved as one unit in the deadly silence of space, their ion drives and interior lighting the only indication of their existence in that desolate region of space. If someone happened to be looking in just the right place at just the right time, that someone would be struck with awe and fear. This group of warships represented a formidable show of Republic might.

    Upgraded with the finest mechanized defenses that money could buy, the settlement had become the final redoubt of the leaders of the Confederacy of Independent Systems. It was absolutely impenetrable.

    Unless one had its deactivation codes.

    Which was how the fleet could enter geosynchronous orbit without causing the installation?s defenses to so much as stir.

    The habitable areas of the settlement below were spread among towers that looked like poisonous toadstools sprung from the bank of a river of fire. The main control center squatted atop the largest. It was from this control center, mere moments ago, that a coded command had been relayed over every HoloNet repeater in the galaxy.

    At that signal, every combat droid in every army on every planet marched back to its transport, resocketed itself, and turned itself off. The Cone Wars were over.


    There was a final detail.

    The Republic warships moved into position.


    Bail Organa strode into his Senate pod with consternation etched into his face. As he walked through the doors he saw confusion on the face of his colleagues wherever he looked. He stared wide-eyed into the sea of creatures from every part of the galaxy. These powerful Senators that defined the Republic Senate?the will of the people?were all standing in their own pods trying to discern by some means the purpose of the sudden emergency session.

    The large coliseum that housed the Republic Senate was referred to as the Senate Arena. It was an apt moniker given the intense political battles that so often ensued there. The room was massive by any standards, containing over ten thousand Senators and their aides at any time. With so many people milling about, it was understandable that so many of them failed to notice the large contingent of clone troopers posted at all the exits. And even if you did notice them, what was there to worry about anyway? It was good to see that the wise Chancellor had taken measures to ensure the safety of this hollowed body given the events of recent history.

    The Senator from Alderaan frowned inwardly at the sight.

    Something was very wrong here.

    He searched the sea of pods, looking for the Senator from Naboo. She seemed to always have an inside track on the dealings of Palpatine and his lackeys. Perhaps she knew what this was about. Her pod was empty, save for the lone Senator representing the Gungan people, Jar-Jar Binks. Bail Organa?s inward frown spread to his face.

    What on earth is this all about? he thought with growing alarm.

    His questions grew in number and urgency when the entire chamber quieted as the Senate Podium rose into view from below carrying Mas Ameda and Sly Moore. Sitting in the place where so many of them had grown accustomed to seein
  22. Skywalker3248

    Skywalker3248 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Jun 5, 2005
    Looks great Souderwan!!

    I really like how you changed the Mustafar and Senate's scenes, top marks!

    I'll post a fully comment when I've had a chance to read it fully!
  23. DarthAJ

    DarthAJ Jedi Padawan star 4

    Dec 9, 2004
    Once again I find my self indulging in the fine, adventerous, creative, and all together wonderful peice of literature on my computer screen. Best is not a word to describe this. Best isn't good enough. Superb is not even close. This is the [add adjective here] literature I have ever read. If this was a novel I would buy it! Let's put it that way.

    BTW Any thoughts of what you are going to do after this? Sequel? Containing a new threat or and old one? Possibly? Just interested in the future of this [enter adjective here] story. No, no, no...Novel.
  24. Lord_Zeron

    Lord_Zeron Jedi Youngling star 2

    Mar 19, 2005
    More wonderful chapters, Souderwan. This is excellent! And your writing blends in perfectly with the excerpts from the novel. Are you sure you're not Matthew Stover in disquise?

    I can't wait for the next update, please post again soon. The suspense of what Mace will do now that he's in control, and what the Jedi are going to do to stop him, is killing me. Great work!

    -Lord Zeron

  25. Souderwan

    Souderwan Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Jun 3, 2005
    AJ! [face_blush] You have no idea how...overwhelming (best word I can come up with)...your words of encouragement are! I'm so pleased that you really are enjoying this piece I'm working on. Thanks (that really doesn't sum up my appreciation but it's the best I can do).

    To answer your question, I do have a couple of ideas I'm bouncing around.

    The one that's at the top of my list right now probably won't get as favorable a review because it involves another favorite character's fall to the dark side. Ever since I read Dark Rendezvous, I've always thought that Yoda seemed to know just a bit too much about the dark side to never have been there himself (example, his ability to deal with Sith lightning so handily). So I said to myself, "Self? What if Master Yoda, in his youth, had ventured into the dark side and returned the man we see today?" I think it would be a great story and I'd love to tell it. I'm just not sure it would be received very well. People like their Yodas infallable and wise. A young, wayward Yoda might be a little too much. 'Course, I'll probably write the story anyway. ;)

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