PAGE I

Story Reviews

Before the Saga

[link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=13536434]Tales of a Jedi, Volume 1[/link] by red_rose_knight

Era: pre-TPM
Status: in progress
Summary: The first in a series of short stories on the life of Ben?al Houk, a Jedi who live more than 1100 years before the events of TPM. This story is about how he came into possession of the legendary lightsaber, the Prak?sha, and earned the title of Sith killer.

Reviewer 1:

Rating: Excellent

Comments:

The story begins quietly. The peace and tranquility of the Jedi Temple, written in lovely vivid detail, seems to permeate the air as the young initiates learn about the history of the Jedi Order. Ben'al Houk, the greatest swordsman of his age, is introduced; mysteries and questions surround his tale but the current-day Jedi know little. The story changes quickly as we are thrust into the sinister past. Ben'al and his Master are fighting for their lives, against Sith and Dark Jedi. But it is more than just good against evil. These Jedi are not the quiet, focused agents of the Force; rather they seem almost aggressive, killing with more than a little enjoyment, beheading and bisecting their foes with relish. The change between past and present members of the Jedi Order is almost ominous and sizzlingly clear. And Ben'al Houk is at the heart of it all.

Quote:

For some Jedi, the Force guided them to the healing arts, others to diplomacy. For Ben?al it was the lightsaber. He was a living weapon and Jedi High Council knew this and used him.

?I agree, he has his flaws,? Girn replied, burying his hands into the billowing sleeves of his cloak. He also knew, that there was great potential in the young man to be the source of great things. ?When he overcomes these flaws, I foresee he will become a great Jedi Knight.?

?When?? Horus huffed. ?You mean if his arrogance does not kill him first.?


=====

Reviewer 2:

Rating: Good

Comments:

The author starts the tale of Ben?al Houk with an incident in which Sith and dark Force-users attack a gathering of politicians, killing most of them and kidnapping the Chancellor. Five Jedi are also present, and fight back, but the outcome is not yet certain. The characterizations are rich and complex, and there?s lots of action.

Quote:

Girn shook his head at the thought of another addition to his padawan?s list of faults. ?He has much to learn about tact,? came evenly spoken words. ?Unfortunately, it is something I fear he will not come by as easily as his saber skill. His arrogance blinds him to others.? There was a brief pause as he watched Amare storm away. ?But I do believe, his intentions were true with her. He just handled it poorly.?

*****

[link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=13697605]To Skin a Gundark[/link] by Mistress_Renata

Era: pre-TPM
Status: in progress
Summary: Rendell Trett is a Jedi, sworn to uphold the laws of the Republic. But when the laws are unjust, how can he uphold them and follow the Jedi code? A Padawan can?t do much to change the Galaxy?can he?

Reviewer 1:

Rating: Excellent!

Comments

Very original story line that deals with a subject not often tackled in Star Wars fanfic; slavery.

The two original characters, Padawan Rendell Trett and Master Myron, are wonderfully drawn and very endearing.

Quote

Trett tasted the pwert egg. Myron kept a straight face as the boy's eyes widened in dismay. But he managed to keep a calm demeanor, and swallowed what was in his mouth without gagging, before discreetly hiding the rest under a leaf of some green vegetable and trying a slice of spiced, roast snorg. Ah, good boy.

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Reviewer 2:

Rating: Excellent

Comments:

There is nothing bad that I can say about this story. Plot, characters, storyline, writing - everything is excellent. The main character's conflict between feeling an

 

PAGE II

Vignette Reviews:
by Amidala_Skywalker

[link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=13181871] Moon and Blood[/link] by Lady Moonbeam

Era: Before the Saga,
Status: Vignette, complete
Summary: Shmi, in the nine months before Anakin, on love, loss, and being surrounded by things she can't understand.

Comments:
This vignette creates an interesting environment in which Shmi could have lived before Anakin?s birth. The master of the house is neither cruel nor tyrannical, but yet he?s not quite a loving man. Nevertheless, the piece circles around Shmi, and to a minor extent, two other slaves. One thing I positively admire about Lady_Moobeam?s work is her ability to change her style of writing, which changes the speed and tone of the text. This vignette itself covers over nine months, but is very languid in pace. The author successfully crafts that illusion. The italic text which cuts through every scene is very fitting and encourages the reader along.

Another favourite is Shmi?s reference to ?Son of the Suns? and how she holds the unborn child in such high esteem. It is almost like the coming of this child signals salvation. That is also combined with Shmi?s chilling interpretation of the blood shed a day before Anakin?s birth. While I find it unusual for a child that would be a saviour to be born once blood has been spilled, it is completely believable in Anakin?s case because he is a balance between the Dark and the Light.

There is honestly so much to this vignette. Another character I haven?t mentioned, but one that deserves a compliment, is Talos. He is a fellow slave who falls in love with our male character. This is a simple slave who doesn?t have an educated upbringing, but knows the gift of love. Shmi, unfortunately, realises how to get past her inability to love someone too late.

In summary, this is a thoroughly enjoyable vignette that is a must-read.

Rating: A well-deserved 9/10.

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[link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=13043127] Simple Words[/link] by LianaMara

Era: The Saga
Status: Vignette, complete
Summary: Obi-Wan deals with his cheeky young padawan.

Comments:
We don?t often see many humour vignettes that could plausibly fit into the SW universe without compromising its style and integrity. LianaMara pulls it off in this adorable vignette, which will leave you shaking your head at Anakin?s antics. Even without Anakin?s spunky attitude in this piece, Obi-Wan is already having problems ? and growing a few grey hairs no doubt. As one of the readers commented, Obi-Wan is trying so hard to be the proper Jedi and a very conscientious teacher. Anakin, on the other hand, is just having a good time. He?s not trying to be the Chosen One realising his destiny ? well, we couldn?t see a ten year old in Vader?s suit, could we? Are you sure?

The entire vignette is centred around Anakin attempting to get Obi-Wan to admit that he has cursed before, and has therefore violated the code. Without giving too much away, Anakin is his trickster self, ruining the harmony of the Jedi Temple under the guise of that innocent grin and twinkling eyes. I have to admit that a few sentences in this vignette had been laughing, especially when it came to Obi-Wan?s description of his childhood. It does seem like our dedicated Jedi knows a few pranks of his own!

In summary, LianaMara has created a wonderful vignette that properly expresses the ?family feeling? that resonates throughout the entire Star Wars saga. This is one piece that would be perfect to read if you?re in need of comfort and a smile.

Rating A bite-sized 8/10

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[link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=13657359] Receptivity[/link] by Tilly

Era: NJO
Status: Vignette, complete
Summary: Luke and Mara?s wedding reception

Comments:
Here is another fine vignette that gives you that extra boost once you have read it. Tilly is a new author on these boards, and already she is carving a fine path for herself. One o

 

PAGE III

Grammar Tip of the Month

You?re is a contraction meaning ?you are.?

You?re a wonderful writer!

Your is a possessive form meaning that something belongs to you.

Your fic is wonderful!

They?re is contraction meaning ?they are.?

They?re wonderful at replying!

Their is a possessive form meaning that something belongs to them.

Their responses in my fic brighten my day!

It?s is a contraction meaning ?it is.?

It?s got to be here somewhere.

Its is a possessive form meaning that something belongs to it.

The droid extended its arm.

+++++

Writing Tip of the Month

Dangling participles: A present participle is a verb ending in -ing, and is called dangling when the subject of the -ing verb and the subject of the sentence do not agree. An example is ?Walking back home yesterday, a tree nearly fell on my head.?

One way to tell whether the participle is dangling is to put the phrase with the participle right after the subject of the sentence: "A tree, walking back home yesterday, nearly fell on my head" doesn't sound right. Since when do trees walk?

Dangling participles can ruin an intensely emotional scene by conjuring up unintentionally ludicrous images in the reader?s head.

?Passionately kissing his wife, his clothes hit the bedroom floor.? Wow, that?s some clothing! It can kiss and hit the floor at the same time.

+++++

Beta-Reading Tip of the Month

From the article ?Beta Readers? by Nitid, at the FanFiction Archive

What to look for:

Here's a mini checklist to the types of things you should be looking for as a beta reader. There are many more, but this is a good place to start.

Opening. Does the first sentence get your interest and make you want to read further?
Conflict. Are there too many or not enough conflicts?
Plot. Was the main plot clear and believable? Did the plot/subplots move fast enough to keep the reader's attention? Was there a plot/subplot left unresolved? Is the plot too predictable?
Setting. Are the descriptions of scenes too wordy or do they transport you into the Star Wars universe?
Characterization. Was the characterization accurate and consistent? Could the story have been improved by adding more details about their preferences, their relations to other people, habits, beliefs, etc? Are there enough sensory descriptions so that the reader can easily sense what is happening to the main character?
Dialogue. Was the dialogue in character? Is there too much dialogue? Not enough? Could you sense the conflict, attitudes, and intentions of each character in their dialogue without the author telling you of these directly?
Point of View. Did the story change between first person and third person POV too much? Does the maturity of the narrative voice suit the story?
Show vs. Tell. Did you get a chance to interpret what the characters were feeling or did the author just tell you directly? Was there too many instances of words like "very", "much", "really", "great", or "nice" when a more detailed description would have been more colorful?
Grammar & Spelling. Were there any typos? Did the author use too many exclamation points? Does the author know the difference between "their" and "they're"?

Read the rest of the article [link=http://fanfic.theforce.net/articles.asp?action=view&ID=4]here[/link]!

Another great article about beta-reading was written by Melyanna and is called [link=http://fanfic.theforce.net/articles.asp?action=view&ID=31]Dealing with Red Ink: Writing With a Beta[/link]

+++++

Humour

Read the caption!

When he entered the cave on Dagobah, Anakin was finally forced to confront his worst nightmare.

See [link=http://theforce.net/humor/captioning/cap95.shtml]the picture![/link]

+++++

Forum News
by Amidala_Skywalker

To begin, I would like to once again thank Jane Jinn and her newsletter staff for making this resour

 

Those advertisements are cute, but slightly horrifying.

Excellent newsletter. I finally know what a dangling modifier is, though I'm also quite certain I'll forget it by tomorrow morning. Oh well.

Also, I think having 'plot bunnies' in there is particularly cruel. I now have the urge to write the 'Before the Saga' one, 'cause it's so good and I can just imagine all the things I could do with it . . .



Nice job, everyone.

 

Jane and newsletter staff --

Yet again you have produced a fabulous issue. Very entertaining and helpful! Good reviewing and tips! You all continue to amaze. Thanks!

Am

 

This is truly a wonderful addition (yet again) to the Boards. Excellent job, everyone who reviewed, interviewed, or just did the dirty behind-the-scenes work. I can't say much except I'm impressed, and I can't wait until the next newsletter comes out!

 

Great job, everyone. I especially liked the grammar and writing tips. I never knew what a dangling participle was, but apparently, I've been using them...oopps!

And those plot bunnies are really calling me...must resist....arggghhhh!

Looking forward to the next one.

 

Everything was brought together so beautifully once again Jane.

 

No, Diane! Don't resist the plot bunnies!

Great job, all of you - you're doing a fantastic job with a huge project. Can't wait to see more.

Shaindl

 

Jane, that was great, as well as all you contributors! I'm going to go read some of the stories mentioned!

 

Hopefully this should straighten out my "it's" "its" problems.

 

My english teacher in 9th grade threatened us with severe punishment if we ever got the two confused. (We didn't, because she also was my Horror Fiction Writing teacher and knew how to make us suffer!)

 

Once again I'm impressed ! *thumbs up*

 

*pops in*

Has anyone else seen this on the front page of TFN?

*points at Jane Jinn and company* You're famous!

*pops out*

 

WOW! To Jane Jinn and the rest of the staff congrats on another wonderfully done edition! Great stuff period is about all I can say. Thanks for all the hard work you guys and gals put into this.


JD.

 

@ the ad about the Padawan braids.

Great newsletter, guys. Kudos to all involved.

 

It's wonderful that this is linked to the main page.
I was excited in seeing that today.
I couldn't believe we finally have a direct link for something now. It's long over due.

Another interesting issue, everyone.

 

There we are . TF.N main link and Fan Fiction header link.

Am

 

Great job, everyone.


[hl=pink]YubYub and TG- Protecting fangirls from hormonally gifted fanboys since 2002 [/hl]

 

I really enjoyed reading this. Everyone involved did a great job.

 

*stands back to back with dianethx as the army of plot bunnies advances...* Arrgh, that Post-Saga bunny has been with me for months now... must... resist... must... re...sist...



Another fabulous effort, Jane! Thank you and all your contributors!

 

Shoot those bunnies, Ren!