Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Luna_Nightshade, Nov 24, 2011.
Giant, predatory flying squirrels of death!
There you go!
Some animals fear the storm.
Some animals embrace it.
I have a full rough draft outline of Episode VIII, but I want to make significant changes.
I'm happy to accept help if someone is willing for me to run it by them
I've never ventured into the fanfic area before. How do you all go about sharing your work? Do you share your work?
Hi there and welcome to fanfic! Star Wars fanfic is posted in the story sub-forum HERE (there's also a link to it at the top of Fan Fic Resource). Non-Star Wars fanfic can be posted HERE. We have a handy starting guide HERE that is helpful for people starting out. If you have any questions you can post them here or there.
In my story, I am completely changing how Order 66 is carried out. I am keeping the biochips but I am changing how they are activated. There are some things about how Order 66 was activated that I am not satisfied with:
1.) The biochips are apparently activated voice activated by Palpatine. My issue with this is that Palpatine would need to contact every single clone in the Republic Army for the order to be carried out. In addition, there were millions of clones spread throughout the galaxy that would require Palpatine to reach out to hundreds of units separately.
2.) While people have tried to address this in the past, I don't see how the clones could understand not to kill Anakin when Order 66 was activated. The order was preprogrammed in the clones' brains through the chips an I'm pretty sure the Kaminoans didn't include a protocol to not kill Anakin Skywalker who was 9 years old when the clone army started being produced.
(Note: This is all my personal opinion and I understand that this may work for some of you guys. Please don't provide arguments for how this could work because that is not the point of this post.)
In my story, the biochips are activated through a transmitter developed by the Kaminoans that will send a signal to the chips to activate them. The signal would be spread through the Holonet to the entire clone army (similar to how in Legends the Separatist Droid Army was shut down through a signal developed by Gizor Dellso that was sent through the Holonet). I also sought to expand the purpose of the biochips by reducing the clone troopers to nothing more than drones that will obey all the orders of the Empire without question. I find it hard to except how the clone troopers were so willing to commit atrocities like enslave planets and kill civilians when the Empire was formed, especially after witnessing all the moral actions of the Jedi. The transmitter would also be used to transmit specific orders to the clones that they would be helpless to disobey. This would include a "Don't kill Anakin Skywallker" and "obey all heartless orders given by commanding officers". I feel this is plausible because in canon biochips were implanted by the Empire in New Republic prisoners and through which orders were transmitted to get them to do their bidding.
My question is how big a transmitter would need to be that would be capable of sending signals out to millions of clones. Palpatine would likely keep the transmitter hidden somewhere (possibly The Works) and go there to turn it own when the time was right. I feel like a transmitter like this should be bigger than a handheld device but it should be easy enough to move around and kept secret. I also feel that the fact that it can send the signal through the Holonet means it wouldn't need to be as big as if it were sending the signal on its own. I also understand the droid control chips needed many transmitters to control battle droids. However, in Legends General Grievous had two antennae built into his head that enabled him to directly control his droid armies so I'm not sure which way to go for this. I tried looking for pictures of transmitters and I could only find the ones below of a handheld transmitter and ore crawler communications transmitter, but I am unsure if a clone controlling transmitter would need to be bigger.
I have a half written fic set on Exogol after the events of Rise of Skywalker.
Basically it is about the last surviving Sith Eternal deep underground and about to be wiped out by vengeful New Republic troops.
The thing is that the story goes into dark places. Desperate Sith cultists do rather unpleasant things to survive.
I am enjoying writing it, but a lot of that joy is coming up with some new awful thing for them to do.
But that kind of story is not something that should be posted here, I assume.
In the past I’ve sent the mods passages of stories for them to vet on whether they’re within TOS bounds—I bet they would be willing to do the same for you, or anyone else. (Sounds like an interesting idea, though; I could see things getting positively Lovecraftian!)
I would have that the chip is activated by a signal transmitted through the normal comnet, which means that Palpatine just need to use his "emergency powers" to have it sent not just on every military transmitter but possibly also every civilian also.
I think I already covered this when I said the signal would be sent through the holonet. I am wondering as to how the signal would be sent out through the holonet. Could Palpatine send it out through any transmitter or communications device or would this need specialized equipment developed by the Kaminoans? Also Palpatine would need a method to transmit specific orders to the clones. Would a specialized datapad with orders typed in to transmit orders to the clones through the network be plausible or should it be a larger computer or something more advanced?
Sorry, I thought I posted this the other day, but as Findswoman said, the mods are always happy to read a section(s) you wonder if will be okay here on the boards. In fact, we really appreciate it when people ask about something if it's close to the line rather than post it and hope for the best. You can also see some examples of where the line is in THIS POST of the fanfic FAQ.
I think I've decided that this isn't the place for it.
You are all lovely people, and I think I understand the tone of this place. I will keep it for my personal grisly amusement.
Or you could put it on AO3. There's some pretty gnarly stuff on there.
You know, I just like writing occasional bits of nonsense here. You guys are pretty kindhearted and I don't think I could handle randos yelling "You SUCK!!" at me. This is enough.
Has that happened to you when posting elsewhere? I certainly hope not!
But in my experience, that is not at all a foregone conclusion to posting on AO3—I have posted numerous works there and have never once gotten a mean comment of that type. (Honestly, I’ve found just getting the cold shoulder and no comments at all is much more common result of posting there—which is more just because of the way people search there than anything else—but I still say that still beats actual mean, flaming comments any day.)
Just my two cents, really. It’s your decision in the end, of course—but can you tell that some of us are at least a little curious to see what you’ve got in some form, even just to take a peek?
Yeah, I posted some stuff there recently for the first time and found the silence a bit deafening (autocorrect wanted to change that to defeating which also works). After spending so long here I found it really strange.
Definitely. I'd like to see this fic.
Most of the comments I've gotten over on AO3 have been positive. I have had one or two from people who didn't like the story, but they weren't mean.
Mine have been nice but most of the time it's just been silence. It's just off after coming from here.
Trying to write my first long fic offline, so that it's complete and proofed before I start posting. It'll be the first time I write a fic like this and hopefully it'll mean that once it's done I can go back to concentrating on some of the other pics I've recently let go. Problem is, that I've hit the plateau after the first climax and I'm....stuck...
I know where it's going but I have to fill in a bunch of time before I get there. I could hand-wave the time but if I do that the connections between characters won't be there and it'll all feel a bit flat.
Sadly DRL can do that to us.
Hey back again with a need for input.
In my story, General Grievous makes a deal with Darth Maul and Mother Talzin to make him force sensitive. Grievous captures Jedi counsel member Adi Gallia and takes her to Dathomir. There Talzin and the nightsisters perform a ritual that transfers Adi's Force energy to Grievous in order to make him Force sensitive (similar to how Talzin tried to absorb the Force energy of the Bardottan masters). Maul would then go on to train Grievous in the Dark Side of the Force, but would refrain from teaching him the secrets of the Sith.
My question is how powerful would a Force sensitive Grievous trained in the Dark Side be compared to the most notable Force users at the time of the Clone Wars, such as Anakin, Obi wan, Windu, Dooku, Yoda, and Sidious. One piece of evidence I found was this video where the Clone Wars writers establish that Savage Opress was stronger in the Force than his brother Maul. Because of the Nightsister's magic ritual on Savage, he became not only stronger physically but more aggressive. This made it easier for Savage to tap into the Dark Side of the Force. Something similar was done to Grievous when he became a cyborg; the Geonosians tampered with his brain to enhance his rage receptors to make him more dangerous. Essential the same thing that was done to Savage was done to Grievous in that their anger and rage were enhanced, except that Savage's rage was enhanced through magic while Grievous' was enhanced through technological methods. Savage's Force threshold was enhanced to the point where it surpassed Maul's, such that he had the potential to become more powerful than his Sith brother. This is an indication of how power a Force sensitive Grievous could've been whose anger was already enhanced by his brain mechanisms. I am just unsure how powerful he would be compared to the other characters of the era. Which characters would Grievous be able to defeat with his newfound powers (given proper training) and who would he still be no match for?
There is another another video that discusses how Sidious feared Grievous' potential if he was Force sensitive and even suggests that Grievous would have been able to rival Sidious' power. However, I am reluctant to claim that a Force sensitive Grievous would have been as powerful as Sidious. Sidious' fear of Grievous could simply be the same as he "feared" Ventress and Maul in that they were potential rivals that posed a threat but were still not powerful enough to overthrow him. Again, this whole thing is open to interpretation and I welcome your opinions.
Sorry for late reply, I missed that you had mentioned holonet. I would say that all the military coms that all the clones are equiped with (both in their armour, belt and in their transports) should be able to work as transmitters for the signal, and that a specialized datapad would be enought, even if it would be more dramatic if Palpatine entered a secret room with nothing but computer terminals, holoprojektors and such, and there declare Order 66.
How powerfull would you say is he in the Force and what kind of training has he gotten, what techniques dose he know?
Well as I previously explained, the ritual would be performed by extracting Adi Gallia's Force energy and transferring it to Grievous so I would believe Grievous would have the same degree of Force sensitivity as Adi. In addition, the rage receptors in his brain that the Geonosians enhanced would allow Grievous to tap into the Dark Side more easily and make him more powerful.
In terms of training, Grievous would be trained in the Force by Darth Maul. In my story, Maul is not cut in half and remains Sidious' apprentice into the Clone Wars, so he would have an additional 10 years of training under his belt to pass on to Grievous. Grievous has proven himself to be a fast learning as he only had a few years of lightsaber training from Count Dooku and he was already skilled enough to fight some of the most powerful Jedi Masters at the time. I am sure Grievous would be capable of becoming very powerful with only a couple years of training (similar to how Savage became very powerful with only limited training). When he teaches Grievous the Force, Maul wouldn't train him as a Sith and would refrain from teaching him some abilities so that he wouldn't be too powerful (like how Dooku kept some secrets from training Grievous in lightsaber dueling).
Based on this and the videos I linked above, I feel that Grievous' force threshold would be the same or slightly below Savage Opress' after the nightsisters enhanced him. It was established that Savage's force potential was beyond that of Maul's (but lacked the training to use it), so I feel a Force sensitive Grievous would be capable of being more powerful than canon Maul by the end of the clone wars with a couple years of training under his belt (Note: the Maul in my story undergoes the same Nightsister transformation as Savage did to make himself more powerful than Sidious so he would have little to fear of Grievous defeating him especially if he oversaw his training). I am just trying to figure out how this Grievous would rank compared to the more powerful Force users of the time (Anakin, Mace, Sidious, Yoda) and also down the road (Luke and Vader).
(Since I am hypothesizing that a Force-sensitive Grievous' potential is around the same as that of enhanced Savage, I am also trying to figure out how powerful Savage would have been if he had been able to reach his full potential.)
So I didn't receive a response from my previous inquiry, I was left to come up with an explanation myself. I came up with an idea for enhanced Savage Opress' force potential that I wanted to see if it was reasonable:
My theory is that Savage Opress' force potential would have put his power somewhere between Vader and Sidious. Here is my reasoning:
1.) As they are all part of the same family, I believe Maul, Savage, and Talzin all have the same force threshold (without any magical enhancements). Their strength levels are different because they have different training and experiences. Talzin, who I believe was magically enhanced from Nightsister rituals or being on Dathomir, was able to match Sidious' Force Lightning with her own. Although Dooku and Grievous interfered in the fight, I believe Sidious would've eventually been able to overpower Talzin on his own. This would put Talzin's power little bit below Sidious'. As Savage is Talzin's son, I believe he could have achieved the same power level as her if he received adequate training.
2.) In Clone Wars, Savage was able to Force Choke Dooku and Ventress simultaneously. The only other person who was able to Force Choke Dooku was Sidious (albeit star systems away). At the time, Savage was tapping into his raw power that enabled him to Force Choke Dooku, although he couldn't do it on command. I believe this demonstrates that Savage had the potential to become more powerful than Dooku in the Force.
3.) In an alternate Infinities storyline, Ventress is the one who undergoes the Nightsister enhancing ritual instead of Savage. Using her enhanced physical attributes and force powers, she is able to kill Dooku and become Sidious' new apprentice. The reason she and not Savage is able to defeat Dooku in this scenario is because she has more training that enables her to better utilize her newfound powers. In my story, Maul undergoes the same Nightsister ritual to make him powerful enough to kill Sidious, which I feel is plausible in that the degree Sidious outclassed Maul is similar to how Dooku outclassed Ventress. As an enhanced Maul's potential would exceed that of Sidious, I feel Savage would be a little below him because his training under Maul would not be the same as Maul's training under Sidious.
Based on this, I would feel that magically enhanced Savage would have been stronger than Sidious but not as strong as Sidious.
In addition, I was asking about how powerful a Force Sensitive General Grievous would be. Since I feel Grievous wouldn't be as strong as Savage in my story, I feel he would be as powerful as Vader. Does this assessment make sense?
Sorry for late replay. The answer you are not looking for but I think is the most real one is: he's as powerful as you want. A bit like how many SW characters don't have constant power level but they are only able to do what the story demand they are able to do.
I would say that some abilities would not work for him because of his cyborg body: Force lightning for example would come out of his meet parts (to my understanding) and more likely damage him than the opponent (this is something they have mentioned about Vader); things that enchant the senses might not really work since most of his sensory input is from his cyborg parts and it’s possible that if he enchanted his senses would that lead to him more feeling every part of his cyborg body that don’t fit perfect. If he is using the Force ty enchant his physical capabilities would I say that he would make his cyborg parts even more a part of himself then normal and he would feel any damage to it so much more.
Also this fanonpost about dark side powers might be of interest https://boards.theforce.net/threads...ec-7-p-60-1490.50024318/page-11#post-52638995
Can you clarify what you mean with "powerful", just so there is no miscommunication