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Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Luna_Nightshade, Nov 24, 2011.

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  1. Bel505

    Bel505 Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2006
    Sort of. The electoral college was never intended to protect the representation of smaller states (the power of small states was guaranteed by the Senate instead). In the Federalist Papers, Hamilton makes clear that the electoral college was primarily intended to put a barrier between the public and the Presidency (the same reason there was not direct election of Senators), to ensure that if the public fell prey to a demagogue (Hamilton specifically references Julius Caesar, the fear of whom drove a lot of structural decisions) that the electors (who were supposed to be non-partisan, non-governmental actors who were the pillars of their communities and the "wisest among men") could simply circumvent the choice.

    (Sorry. Lots of the political talking heads in the USA get this one really wrong, and I have a compulsion to correct it when I see it. :oops:)
     
  2. ZV-83

    ZV-83 Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 7, 2020
    1. Looking at the Mid Rim sectors of Lantillian and Truum, guessing that they would each have one senator and potentially one representative based on what I see for Chommell sector (Naboo), whereas Tepasi being a founding planet of the Republic, like Alderaan, would just have one senator.

    2. I don't understand how Ryloth has three co-senators at one point? I guess only one votes, but the other two can observe?
     
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  3. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Maybe co-senator is just a fancy way to say "higher helper of the senator"?
     
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  4. Mechalich

    Mechalich Jedi Master star 4

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    Feb 2, 2010
    Being a Senator came with a lot of perks in the late Republic. It's not impossible that the members of the Ryloth Delegation all wanted the perks associated with being a Senator rather than a Representative. Given that the Republic was spectacularly corrupt, and Ryloth has traditionally been a center of said corruption, it's possible that the delegation wrote in a sweetheart deal where all the Representatives of the Gaulus sector got to have the official Senatorial title while still only having one vote.
     
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  5. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2017
    Maybe they had multiple senators so that they could vote internally on how they were going to cast their official single vote. The one, actual, senator would then vote according to how the internal vote was decided. That would tend to take a lot of power away from a single senator.

    How did senators determine what their vote would be? Did the ruling government tell their senator how to vote? Remember how Palpatine was given "emergency powers?" They voted on the spot. It didn't seem that the senators consulted with their governments back home.
     
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  6. Bel505

    Bel505 Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2006
    I'm finding all these "how did the Senate actually work" questions fascinating, because: (1) I have a substantial background in political science and it's just intellectually interesting on its own, but more importantly (2) I'm currently thinking about how the New Republic's government would actually function once fully established. If you're Leia, Mon Mothma, Ackbar, Fey'lya, Bel Iblis, etc... what does the government you produce actually look like? Especially keeping in mind the need to both re-establish the old Republican government, but also reform it so it doesn't have the flaws that government had.

    It's a super difficult question.
     
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  7. Snocone

    Snocone Jedi Knight star 1

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    Sep 14, 2015
    Sorry to interrupt y'all's neat political conversation—I have a question/quandary. I'm trying to think of more names for what is commonly called the throttle in a ship. We have "control stick," "throttle," "steering rod," etc. and I'm kind of running out of terms in my narrative. You know that crazy getup that Luke and Han used in the Millennium Falcon, with like two hand controls, a targeting computer, and other gizmos? I'm trying to say that in a shorter way.
    ---
    Senden'na complied, pulling the targeting scope goggles from their hook on the hull wall and flicking on the weapons systems in front of her. A smaller panel arrayed with buttons, switches, and knobs rose on a column from the deck between her feet and halted at waist height. She pulled on the goggles and gripped the [...]. "Let's see what this thing can do."
    ---
    Thanks in advance for your help.
     
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  8. pronker

    pronker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2007
    "Joystick" is what came to mind or "jazzed up joystick", "joystick on steroids," "hyper joystick" ... :)
     
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  9. Bel505

    Bel505 Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2006
    So, I usually just use “stick” or “controls” or talk more vaguely about “controlling the fighter/ship.” So, for instance, if I were going to fill in that [....], I’d probably do something like:

    “She pulled on the goggles and gripped the freighter’s (?) controls, checked twice to make sure she knew what all the toggles and switches did, and then activated the repulsorlifts. The ship rose up off the ground, humming in anticipation. “Let’s see what this thing can do.”’”
     
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  10. Snocone

    Snocone Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 14, 2015
    Thanks for your help! The difficult part of this description—I should have given more context—is that she is the copilot and gunner, meaning the pilot is using the throttle/stick/control rod to fly. Sort of like a snowspeeder (albeit closer in size to the Falcon). She's operating the weapons system at the moment, as they've just come out of hyperspace into a frenetic battle. Should there be some other terminology for the weapons control system right there?
     
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  11. Bel505

    Bel505 Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2006
    So, I’d distinguish between the pilot (at the “helm”) and the gunner (which you can describe the weapons she’s using and/or discuss the “targeting systems” or her aiming, without actually needing to describe the physical equipment she’s using. If she’s at the copilot position you could talk about her doing a weapons systems test (“she brought up the freighter’s weapons, making sure they were hot and ready for combat” or “Suddenly surrounded by targets, she brought the ship’s weapons to bear. The freighter’s guns caused the whole ship to shudder as they fired”, etc.)

    Generally speaking, I focus on what they’re doing with controls more than how they’re manipulating the controls, if that makes sense. You note in neither of those two examples do I say anything about her handling the controls physically. Basically, in this circumstance the only time I’d do that was if she was sitting in a turret she has to physically target like Han and Luke in ANH, e.g. (“she gripped the turret’s controls and swiveled it after the nearest target, pulling the trigger and sending a blast of energy after it.”)

    If you’re just looking for a simple two word fill-in, I’d use “targeting controls” or “targeting systems.”
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2021
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  12. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2017
    "Jargon," is usually very standardized. It isn't bad to reuse "jargon," because people in various professions, and disciplines use "jargon" when speaking to each other.

    So, I think it's O.K. to reuse terms that have been used before, especially when speaking from a point of view.

    For example: if you're speaking from the point of view of a Republic fighter pilot, you should use Republic fighter pilot jargon to say the name of the thing: "joy stick." If you're speaking from the point of view of the politician, then you should use the "jargon" that a politician would use to describe the very same thing. For example, a Republic fighter pilot might call it a "joy stick," but a politician might call the same thing a "control column." However, an engineer might call the very same item, "The input-output control differential navigational targeting inferometer system."

    In other words, I think it's perfectly fine to use the same terms. Just make it so that the terms are used by specific groups of people. When you use Republic fighter pilot terms, your readers will know it's all fighter pilots talking. When you use engineering terms, your readers will know it's all engineering. When you use political terms, your readers will know it's all politics.

    I feel as though I had thrown an incremental adjustable duplicating spanner wrench into the multi function, adverse reaction control joint remunerating constant calibration device.

    I wish you good luck.

    PS

    I cheated... I was drinking while replying to your post. Drinking does that to me, sometimes....
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2021
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  13. Snocone

    Snocone Jedi Knight star 1

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    Sep 14, 2015
    Dictionary-drinking. Verbose, garrulous, loquacious. Necessary in loosening up the narrative. Good times.
     
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  14. madman007

    madman007 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 22, 2007
    A writer who drinks. Well, that's not a cliché. :rolleyes:
     
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  15. Snocone

    Snocone Jedi Knight star 1

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    Sep 14, 2015
    Or is he... a drinker who writes? Twist!
     
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  16. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    I think @Bel505 gave good advice about some ways to approach writing scenes like this.

    If you're still looking for some alternate words to use for physical controls, here are a couple I usually use:

    For the flight stick (the steering wheel, essentially) : flight stick, stick, flight yoke, yoke. (Or "flight controls" for ships that have more of a wheel than a stick.)
    The throttle controls speed. I tend to think of it as a forward/backward control like in some single-engine airplanes, so "pushed in the throttle," "pulled back on the throttle," "throttled up / down," "jammed in the throttle," etc.
    There are other fun flight controls to play with like the etheric rudder or rudder. Using the generic term "flight controls" can work as well.

    For separate weapons controls in a gunner's position, I think I'd call the handheld controls just the "weapons controls." Other actions can imply what the character is touching without having to name it all, like "switched the weapons systems to torpedoes," "turned on the tactical scope," "aimed the targeting reticle," "pulled the trigger," "struggled to get a weapons lock," etc.
     
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  17. Snocone

    Snocone Jedi Knight star 1

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    Sep 14, 2015
    YOKE. I think that's the word I forgot about. Lots of great ideas; thank you all kindly!
     
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  18. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 1

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    Mar 14, 2017
    YOKE? What is that?
     
  19. Bel505

    Bel505 Jedi Master star 2

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    Jul 4, 2006
    Steering wheel, but for a plane.
     
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  20. ZV-83

    ZV-83 Jedi Knight star 1

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    Dec 7, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2021
  21. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2012
    Can't confirm but it should be logical that it's so.
     
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  22. PlanetSmasher

    PlanetSmasher Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 14, 2017
    Hello everybody!

    I'm looking for a woman beta reader. I need a woman's perspective on a chapter in my book. It's eight word processor single sided pages long; a short chapter. There's adult content in this chapter. I need to know how believable the scene is, and that sort of thing.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2021
  23. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    I'm female, but I don't know how helpful I could be, because I don't really have any experience with.....Adult Romantic Relationships (if you get my meaning, and I understand yours correctly)
     
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  24. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    I can have a look at if you like.

    Also @Cowgirl Jedi 1701 , I love how you phrased that. :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2021
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  25. StarWarsTrueSqueals

    StarWarsTrueSqueals Jedi Youngling

    Registered:
    Jan 16, 2020
    I need help with a fan fiction concept. Do you guys or gals have any suggestions?

    A long time ago in a galaxy far,

    far away....



    STAR

    WARS



    Episode VII



    THE FALL OF REPUBLIC



    The Debt collectors captured Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon as theirs. They took it as Han Solo's debt is paid. They dumped him off the closest planet. When the Millennium Falcon came outdated for travel. They dumped it on Jakku.



    Mara Jade the wife of Luke Skywalker. A Hooded figure killed her in front of Ben Solo. The Hooded Figure destroyed Luke's Family expect for the Solos family.



    After Luke failed to save his nephew from the Darkside. He went to an island to think and get away from the force.



    After there are no more Jedi Knights or Jedi Masters due to Luke refusing to create a new Jedi. The Republic fell into the New Order.
    _________________________________________________

    A long time ago in a galaxy far,

    far away....



    STAR

    WARS



    Episode IX



    THE LAST JEDI



    The deaths of Han Solo and Leia. Rey found out she's Force Ghost Great Grandaughter of Obi-wan's master. Qui-Gon Jinn and Great Great Great-granddaughter of the Emperor.



    Kylo Ren is the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia. Fin The great-grandson of both Lando and Mace Windu. Mace Windu was Snoke.



    Now the true battles begins cause the Hooded figure who been manipulated all of the events from the first Death star to the Star Killer.



    The fate of the Universe weights in this battle. Will the Resistance come out on top? Even with the Force Ghost helping them?
    _________________________________________________
    A long time ago in a galaxy far,

    far away....



    STAR

    WARS



    Episode IX



    THE LAST JEDI



    The deaths of Han Solo and Leia. Rey found out she's Force Ghost Great Grandaughter of Obi-wan's master. Qui-Gon Jinn and Great Great Great-granddaughter of the Emperor.



    Kylo Ren is the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia. Fin The great-grandson of both Lando and Mace Windu. Mace Windu was Snoke.



    Now the true battles begins cause the Hooded figure who been manipulated all of the events from the first Death star to the Star Killer.



    The fate of the Universe weights in this battle. Will the Resistance come out on top? Even with the Force Ghost helping them?​