Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

I think that light blue would suit Padmé very well. I imagine her being very graceful with it, like flowing water.

IDK why, but for some reason I think that yellow would really suit Han. Though I somehow doubt that he would ever get out of the habit of pulling his blaster first when he finds himself in a combat situation.

 

I agree with @Cowgirl Jedi 1701 for both of her suggestions. Definitely Han = yellow and only as a last resort. Unless he can use it as a thrown weapon...

 

How would people describe the braclets this two guys are wearing?

pik from Warrior Dancers Photograph by Denise Mazzocco (fineartamerica.com)

 

Hey, so I had this fight scenario in my mind in which Padme kills Mother Talzin, but I was concerned if it was too much of a Mary Sue scenario like how Rey defeated Kylo Ren with no training and then ultimately defeated Palpatine. Here is the backstory and you guys tell me what you think:

1.) In my story, Padme is born Force-sensitive. However (as in Legends), she was born in an isolated mountain village on Naboo away from main society so her Midichlorian count isn't registered with the Jedi so she isn't taken into the Order. Padme learns about her Force sensitivity as she grows up, but she chooses to keep it a secret so that she can focus on helping her people through politics. The Jedi at some point would've sensed her Force-sensitivity, but don't act on it because she has passed the age where she could be trained as a Jedi. After she marries Anakin, Padme reveals her Force-sensitivity to him. Anakin offers to provide some training in using the Force which she accepts. Anakin only trains Padme in using the Force and not in lightsaber combat and Padme's training is not as intensive and deep as Ahsoka's would be as she is a senator. Padme spends the next three years of the Clone Wars honing her skills in the Force in secret.

When Padme becomes pregnant with Luke and Leia, the Force energy from the unborn children increases Padme's force powers exponentially. (It was said that when Padme was pregnant she had the highest midichlorian count ever; the two unborn children would be amount to 40,000 - 50,000 midichlorians, which would be the equivalent of 4 Palpatines.)

2.) In my story, Mother Talzin's plot to extract and absorb the living Force from Queen Julia and the Dagoyan Masters succeeds and she becomes the most powerful force user in the galaxy. With her enhance powers, she is able to sense the disturbance in the Force from Padme's pregnancy and is able to use her crystal ball with her powers to identify and locate her. Believing Padme to be a threat, Talzin tracks her down and in order to kill her. Padme applies her training from Anakin and her powers are enhanced from her unborn children; I am assuming Luke and Leia's combined Midichlorian count exceeds that of all the Dagoyan Masters Talzin absorbed.

The way the fight would go is Talzin would unleash a powerful barrage of Force Lightning at Padme, who would erect a Force Barrier to protect herself (Like how the Rey/Palpatine fight went). Fueled by the energy from her children and motivated by the desire to protect them, Padme holds back Talzins lightning and redirects it back at her to kill her.


Does all this seem plausible or does Padme seem like a massive Mary Sue in this situation?

 

I would call them fuzzy, or decorated with X, or woven, wristlets.

 

I live near an Army depot and everything except planes are kept there, so depot?

 

@Findswoman have you asked in lit's GENERAL QUESTION THREAD they often know that kind of thing?

"Ensign Stovall. Henceforth, you shall refer to the 'casino' as the 'supply depot'."

 

Vehicle pool? Vehicle hangar? Vehicle depot? Livery? Transport pool / hangar / depot?

If the context is a little more informal, like a character referring to the motorpool, you could also come up with a local nickname for the location. Mud Garage, Mud Slinger Station, Atmo Depot, Transport Town, Wheels-R-Here, Gravity Hugger Depot, Mud Puddle, Speeder Needer, etc.

 

Thanks, I was proud of that one, LOL.

 

So I was thinking in my story having General Grievous upgrade his entire body from durasteel to phrik in order to make himself nearly indestructible. For this, a cyborg body is made entirely of phrik and Grievous' brain, eyes, and gutsack is removed from the durasteel body and placed into the phrik body. I have two questions regarding this:

1.) Would Grievous be able to survive the removal of his body parts from one cyborg body to another? In Legends, Dooku used Sifo-Dyas' blood to keep Grievous alive in his crippled state while he was being transported to Geonosis to be transformed into a cyborg, although I wasn't sure if the midichloarian rich blood was needed during the surgery for it to be successful. Also in Legends, an improved suit was built for Darth Vader but he turned it down at the risk that he would die if he was removed from his old suit, so I wasn't sure if it would be the same with Grievous.

2.) What color would you say the phrik body would be? Does phrik have a natural color like how beskar is silver? Initially I thought the phrik body would be silver but I was second guessing myself. I have been looking for examples of phrik objects like Sidious' lightsabers, Magnaguard electrostaffs, and Dark Trooper armor (legends) but I was unsure with conflicting sources. In addition, would the body be one color would would it be like Grievous' body with white plating over black parts?

 

Quoting Operation Petticoat, I see. Clearly you are a man of culture.

 

I'm looking for inspiration for a theme and want to try to broaden my horizon for that theme. So people know of the knight-errants of chivalric stories, right? And I was wondering if people know if there was anything similar in other, non-European cultures? Or in fictional 'verses, that are not medieval Europe inspiered.

Also, any suggestions for a symbol for a knight-errants-ish organisation?

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since it sounds like you would not really change his whole body, but only replace his limbs and "shell" parts, don´t I think there would actually be a removal of organic part from one cyborg body into another but only a replacment of parts while the systems that's keeping him alive stay the same.

This feels like a Lit question, try here: GENERAL QUESTION THREAD

No idea.

 

Maybe the samurai fit your needs? Or a Janissary from the Ottoman Empire? They both showed strong discipline; 'chivalric' reminds me more of the male-female dynamic, though, and nothing says that more to me than a European (British, French, Teutonic, etc.) tradition.

 

It's more the "errants" part I'm looking for. To my understanding (and I fully admit that I could be wrong here) did samurai Japan not really have anything like that, you either served your lord or was a ronin, and the later have (TMU) a different cultural meaning than " knight-errants".

 

I think the Ronin are similar to historical knight errands. Essentially mercenaries selling out their fighting skills to the highest bidder. Its just western mythology has herorized the Knight Errands into something more romantic and heroic, that didn´t happen with the Ronin...

Hm, so if you want to take the fictional version...
I think there is the fictional idea of these bounty hunters/lawmen in the wild west that has been popularized by Comics like Lucky Luke and of course various movies. Essentially the classic "white hats" who ride from town to town to help the people and fight bad guys, negotiate with tribes and so on...

While they where usually bound to a certian city/ruler the Aztec Eagle Warriors did operate on some level independent as scouts, spies or negotiators/messengers. So its not full knight errand but having a few aspects of it. Also as with some knight errand Eagle Warriors could have been of commoner origin in some cases...

There are also the Ancient Chinese Youxia wandering Swordsmen fighting for justice, which are also popularized in stories like Romance of the Three Kingdoms. The ariticle also links to some of these concepts in other cultures like the Russian Bogatyr.

If you want to look to fictional sources as well there are the Desert Rangers of the Wasteland series, who also have a counterpart faction in the Fallout Series, though there they did join with a nation eventually. Also staying in the post apocalypse there is the Spartan Ranger Order in the Merto 2033 universe. Again all probably a good deal bleaker than the heroic tales of knight errands but still.

 

I think you are thinking of free-lances here, which many/all (I'm a bit uncertain here) knight errants were, but not all free-lances were knight errants (and TMU are the knight errants fully a construction of stories and tales). I would say that the ronin have been romanticised a lot but are also filling the role as possible bad guys, similar to free-lances or gunmen in the Wild West.

Will look them up

This looks like what I'm looking for

 

I just had this weird idea for a story.

You know how there are a lot of manga that feature fantasy worlds and harems? What would you guys think if I decided to write such a story set in the Star Wars universe as a semi-crack fic? I just find it hilarious just thinking about it since I have a guilty pleasure about this kind of trash fiction.

 

As someone who writes crack!fic, I like to find a fine balance between ridiculous and somewhat coherent so I'm not really sure what trash fiction is. That said, a lot of the stuff in manga is beyond my weirdness-thermometer level so I can't comment on what actually happens in those, but I'd say as long as it's family friendly as dictated by the boards then it should be fine.

 

Sorry for posting this again, but I never got an opinion and I changed some details:

In my story, Padme is born Force-sensitive. However (as in Legends), she was born in an isolated mountain village on Naboo away from main society so her Midichlorian count isn't registered with the Jedi so she isn't taken into the Order. Padme learns about her Force sensitivity as she grows up, but she chooses to keep it a secret so that she can focus on helping her people through politics. The Jedi at some point would've sensed her Force-sensitivity, but don't act on it because she has passed the age where she could be trained as a Jedi. After she marries Anakin, Padme reveals her Force-sensitivity to him. Anakin offers to provide some training in using the Force which she accepts. Anakin only trains Padme in using the Force and not in lightsaber combat. Padme only trains in minor force exercises and it is not as intensive and deep as Ahsoka's would be. Padme spends her free time during the next three years of the Clone Wars honing her skills in the Force in secret.

Unbeknownst to Anakin and Padme is that Anakin subconsciously creates a Force dyad between himself and Padme through his love for her. The dyad is officially formed when Padme returns Anakin's feelings. This is something only Anakin would be capable of doing to due his incredibly strong connection to the Force. Anakin and Padme remain unaware of the dyad until Padme becomes pregnant.

When Padme becomes pregnant with Luke and Leia, the Force energy from the unborn children increases Padme's force powers exponentially. (It was said that when Padme was pregnant she had the highest midichlorian count ever; the two unborn children would be amount to 40,000 - 50,000 midichlorians, which would be the equivalent of 4 Palpatines). As a result of Padme being pregnant and her Force potential dramatically increasing, she and Anakin become aware of the Force dyad as they start seeing each other in their respective locations. As a result of the dyad, Anakin and Padme are able to look into each others' memories. Padme is able to access Anakin's memories of his training which, in turn, serves as her own training in the ways of the Force (as Rey did for Kylo Ren in Force Awakens). Padme uses this insight from Anakin's training to help her gain control of her increased powers to become essentially the most powerful being in the galaxy. Naturally, Padme would lose her enhanced Force energy when Luke and Leia are born and she is left with her own Force potential.

My question is, under the circumstances presented above, does Padme seem like a Mary Sue as Rey has been viewed in the sequel trilogy?

 

I think this "dyad" thing breaks the tradition of the Star Wars universe, where training and going through trials are required to gain knowledge and stuff. If you could learn stuff by just accessing other people's memories, then what was the need for Anakin to train? He could have accessed Obi'wan's memories and got all of the training when he was a kid.

So, it does break Star Wars for me. I hated that Rey "just knew how to do stuff" Mary Sue.....

In the Matrix, you gained knowledge to do stuff, but plugging into a computer and having the experience downloaded into your memory. "Whoa! I know kung fu!" But I didn't like seeing it in Dismal's (Disney) version of Star Wars.

 

Well the dyad thing is something not something everyone can do. Darth Plagueis tried to form a dyad with Sidious and failed, and then Sidious tried to form a dyad with Vader and failed too. In canon, Rey and Kylo Ren were the only dyad in existence so its not like anyone could do just snap their fingers and do it. In my story, Anakin would only be able to form a dyad with Padme and not Obi wan because their love forms a special bond that he doesn't have with Obi wan (not to say Anakin doesn't have a strong bond with Obi wan).

Also, accessing someone's memories does not provide the same results as employing actual training. When clone troopers were trained, those who received years of actual training were more effective in combat than those who simply received memory flashes. While accessing another person's memories would provide some insight and knowledge, it doesn't provide the same results as actual experience. In addition, there were other factors that allowed Rey to defeat Kylo Ren as well as her accessing his memories from his training:

1.) Rey spent years on Jakku honing her fighting skills to survive, so she was no stranger to combat
2.) Kylo Ren was shot by Chewbacca's bowcaster, which caused a lot of damage and impeded his fighting effectiveness
3.) Kylo Ren mind was in a conflicted state after killing his father Han, which left him unbalanced with the Force

So in my story, Padme being able to access Anakin's training memories would not automatically make her as skilled at using the Force as him. She would have to employ her insight in real world training to be able to use the Force better. I feel that maybe that was what Rey did in The Last Jedi; since Luke pretty much didn't teach her anything and Rey had to self-teach herself, and I am guessing she employed the memories she accessed from Kylo Ren to help guide her.

 

This makes sense to me. And now I am excited to read this story.