Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

I’d say it could be based on planetary origin, which usually, but not always correlated to one’s species.

for example- the team from Ryloth would be mostly made of Twi’leks, but a Nautolan from Ryloth could be on it.


@Thumper09


About mine, it’s an alternate Sequel Trilogy set 27-34 ABY, and I’m at about 90 minutes into Episode IX.

And I did figure out how the villain finds out about the Wellspring of Life, the anti-villain tells him about it prior to the latter’s redemption, now I just need my hero to find out about it and follow him

 

I have two concerns about my Sequel Trilogy rewrite that are too late to fix


1. I worry that I’ve made my main protagonist cry too much, especially when I’m hoping to represent a female point of view effectively


2. I feel like the plot of each of my ST episodes goes back to my main character running away

 

Looking for suggestions on how to make a culture feel Ancient Greek-ish. Anybody have any?

 

1. Why do you worry that she cry too much ? In the amount of time the story take place, how often dose she cry? If you worry about it maybe think about which of those times you can change so she don't cry while keeping the story the same.

2. I don't see the problem, it worked for King Arthur after all


More serious, why do you think this is a problem ?

 

@Gamiel


About the crying, I want her to be a strong female character, but also human. She does go through a lot of turmoil to justify the crying, but I’ll have to count the number of times.

About the running away, it’s not a problem save for the concern of repetitiveness. In Episode VII, she ran away from home to help her parents when they were in trouble. In Episode VIII, she ran away from the mission to rescue her friend who was kidnapped. Then she deserted the Jedi after her brother was killed. And in Episode IX, she is going to run away to confront the villain on the Force Planet where the source of the midichlorians is.

About your story and culture @Gamiel , I would suggest heavy aesthetic description that resembles ancient Greece. Also think about their forms if government and see if you can create one that matches (provinces that self-governed like Crete, Thebes, and Athens. but were united by culture and mythos, with direct democracy)

 

Well my main character, tough as nails Eriaduan Special Forces Colonel Ulrika Grau, who faces insurmountable odds on a regular basis, infilrated the Peace Brigade during the Vong War and goes toe to toe with Pirateleaders and Warlords, actually cries several times during the series so far. And yet I wouldn`t even consider calling her anything but strong and I never heard any complaints from readers in that direction either. So yeah strong people can cry. Its as simple as that.

 

This. I would personally not be interested in a "strong" character who just bottles up their emotions and pretends terrible things don't affect them because they're so "tough." To me, they would not be relatable at all. I think often crying has been linked with women and being too "emotional" or "weak" which is not true; on the contrary, crying is a sign of strength.

 

Politics - ancient Greece had a pretty unique democracy; clothing (draping white fabric); philosophy (perhaps a roaming philosopher who spends all day asking strangers questions); architecture (temples and columns); religion (a pantheon of gods that interact with humans).

 

I feel like you guys are sort of conflating strong characters with strong people. A strong character in a story doesn't have to be "strong" either physically, mentally, emotionally, or whatever. A strong character is simply a dynamic, fully developed one that feels like a real live person. There are real people who cry at everything. There are real people who only cry at some things. There are real people who bottle everything up inside and pretend terrible things don't affect them. There are real people who don't fit any of those descriptions. And you know what? All of those types of people can be the basis for a strong character. The tough-as-nails soldier who cries a lot can be a strong character, and so can the tough-as-nails soldier who never cries at anything. It's all about the way you write them and what else you add to their personalities to give them depth and make them feel real. Whether you consider them strong in a physical, emotional, or moral sense is just another facet of their personality. It's not what makes them a strong character.

@Emperor Ferus - Hi! Actual real-life woman here. I cry very easily at some things and not at others. I know women who hardly ever cry. We contain multitudes. There's no one-size-fits-all answer to your question, and everyone is going to have a different opinion. My advice would be this: write the story that you want to read, and have your protagonist react the way you think she would react since you know her best (assuming she's an OC), and don't worry about what anyone else thinks. This is supposed to be fun, after all.

 

If I I remember/have understod it right so was it during some ages seen as very manly to cry and show your emotions at times of sorrow.

 

If I I remember/have under stod it right so was it during some ages seen as very manly to cry and show your emotions at times of sorrow.

That's right. Apparently (I'm at work right now, so I don't have the book where I learned this with me, but I can factcheck once I return home) it was not uncommon in Regency England for men--at least those of the upper crusts--to weep openly and loudly in public. If I remember correctly, and I very well might not, this included the floor of Parliament. Playwright Richard Sheridan was given as one example: he once lost it in a memorably epic fashion over some dramatic matter, live at the theatre.

To all those reading who might be writing/considering writing a Regency AU of some sort: I dare you to make use of this bit of history. I double dare you!

 

I have checked the source where I read of the weeping Regency men, and as it turns out, I did remember most of it aright. Here's the relevant passage from Venetia Murray's book An Elegant Madness, pg. 19-20:

At the same time it was also an age when men burst into tears on the slightest provocation, and thought nothing of crying in public. They cried about love, money and even politics, long and loudly and without embarrassment. Walpole reported that Fox was in floods of tears on the floor of the House of Commons over a political quarrel with Burke, who was so upset himself that he started weeping as well: Creevey, writing in 1815, said that 'there was not a dry eye in the House', adding that one minister sobbed so much that he was unable to speak. Sheridan was another one who always burst into tears when he failed to get his own way. On one occasion the Prince had just given Sheridan a particularly lucrative sinecure, worth 800 pounds a year, but the latter wanted to pass it over to his son; when the Prince refused...Sheridan made a frightful scene and began to 'cry bitterly'.

The Prince Regent was no stranger to expressing himself through tears either, usually over his love affairs: he was said to have "cried by the hour" over one of them, Mrs. Fitzherbert.

So yes, there were many, many men weeping in Parliament--I had that right--but Sheridan did not put on his "frightful scene" at the actual theatre. I'm not certain why I remembered it that way. Most likely, when I originally read this about twenty years ago, I was thinking of a possible scene for a story of one of my male characters having a weeping meltdown at the theatre, and Sheridan *was* a playwright--and I got it mixed up.

As Murray goes on to explain, tears were at that time considered proof that one was of exceptional sensibility. (A term you might recognize from the title of one of Jane Austen's novels. The modern equivalent today would just be "sensitivity.") So I don't know that crying was considered "manly," per say. Only that men wept in public. Openly. Without shame.

Also, as indicated in Sheridan's use of weeping, tears were also a "perfectly acceptable means of emotional blackmail" used by men and women both. That and (in the case of the Prince Regent attempting to win over Mrs. Fitzherbert's reluctant affections) 42 page love letters of sentimental drivel. Yes: forty-two pages.

 

@devilinthedetails This character does go through trauma that justifies her trauma.


A male character did cry at the death of his son, and again at the death of his best friend/brother-in-law.
Another one cried when his mentor yelled at and shamed him.

I am hoping for it to be a human experience- this character does actually react with anger just as often.

I remember when CS Lewis had Jill crying a few times in The Silver Chair, he actually acknowledged the frequency of it in the narrative.

 

(this is mostly backstory right now cuz I have to flush out background characters)

Right now I'm writing a story about a tapestry worker (part-time sex worker because it pays enough for basic utilities like food because the tapestry gig doesn't pay enough to survive but a bit more income could make it's so that she'll have enough access income for a little nest should she go under)
(She's also working to unionize the tapestry gig, because she's a stubborn girl who won't allow anyone else to suffer the pain she did and unionizing was better systemic change then burning down the building.)



Essentially she falls in love with a rich heir to a robber baron Fortune. that Heir is a black sheep to his family, yes he's the first and only son, but he deeply despises the wealth and how they achieved it.


Here's the thing they meet because he's into some kinky stuff but inexperienced, he wanted to hire a professional.(she was a professional)


The problem is I don't know how far until TOS gets me,

Discussing the intricacies of Nabooian sex work(before the battle of naboo,)

I can't write actual smut scenes(honestly I just break up giggling anytime I try).


I want to show this fic to this community

But I don't know who to get a good beta reader. (Because Lore building the red light district is difficult on a for kids site, the actual sex I can't write but the interactions, the subtle humorous things the humane part.

I could always go with the "rent a cuddler service"or "rent a girlfriend angle"to keep it PG but frank honest discussions are always my favorite.


Technically it's only side description and could be left out entirely but then you'll be missing a vital part of their back story

I'm in a bind here.

 

So an idea recently crossed my mind. In the 2003 Clone Wars show, the Separatists experimented on Nelvaanian warriors to turn them into into large muscular (and somewhat obese) super soldiers. In another storyline, the Separatists tried to create their own clone army of Morgukai warriors from the warrior Bok. My idea was to combine these armies into one where the Separatists tried to create a clone army of enhanced muscular super soldiers.

My question is how strong physically would these mutated clone soldiers be. In the 2003 series, the mutated Nelvaanians bore kind of a Hulk/Blob like appearance, but I wonder if they would be as strong physically as those characters. Then again, the 2003 series has been known to exaggerate things so I wondered if the sizes of the mutants were also exaggerated. I was thinking that Wrecker from the Bad Batch would be a good template to base the mutated clones' strength as he is physically stronger than all other clones due to his own mutation. However, based on the pictures below, Wrecker's size would be smaller that of the mutant Nelvaanian, which implies that he would not be as strong. What do you think would be a reasonable strength level and appearance for such mutated warriors? If you have references for your opinions, I would appreciate that.

 

fair enough.

Of course it shouldn't, it's a job
(This is me rambling)
Okay when it comes to sex work I always look at it as a job first and foremost, now there is something to be said about working the nightlife in order to feed your family that would be honorable. But the material conditions that cause that to be the only option would be condemned by me.
It's a job like any other one of the oldest in existence and longest lasting but it's a job.

I always like the comparison that a sex worker is the female equivalent to joining the Army.(typically the joke is always stripper but same rules apply)

Let me explain

You're a young 20 something, cusp of adulthood. Practically yearn for the freedom of adulthood, and finally finally has that chance.

Here's the thing, you don't have the money nor the experience to to find a well paying secured job where you could feed yourself off of.
In the area you grew up with you likely didn't have the best tools available or the jobs were available that could pay well and could satisfy you

So you say kriff it (male: I'm joining the Army)( female I'm going to become a stripper /pornstar/prostitute /pole dancer etc adult entertainers or sexworker)
Sell your body for a couple of years to a questionable industry and with the right connections and saving and a bit of luck you could find the job and purpose you wany.

Only problem is if you don't find the right connections , likely will end up destitute (USA has a high statistic of homeless vets )

Your body has been used up, well past your prime and you don't have any ability to change course for your own humane safety(this also says something about how we fetishize women and objectify them, it's messed up)

Although the joke always ends with being a stripper pays better, (unless you're an officer,)

(Yes it is true that male sex workers exist and female armed forces members also exist but generally it's more likely to be the case than not.)

My point is I see it as a job like any other. Not to be glorified but a job nonetheless

again can't write sex for crap

They're like three different ships that you could technically get me on incest (is very situational) non them Star wars because it's my childhood fandom.

Alexi shostakov and Natasha( 616)
Steve Bucky (MCU or Earth-199999)
Demon fire(night star and Damien

Alexi shostakov and Natasha( 616)
For sarters it should be noted that Natasha was born 1928ish
She was older than Alexi and the MCU messed up the lore for Natasha multiple times


It was a loving marriage one of the Soviets top Ace pilots and one of their best ballerinas.
UnFortunately the Soviets decided break the two up because they thought they would be damn good tools of the state(Natasha super soldier)(Alexi didn't get any serum .

Natasha also was either in love with Bucky at one point and Daredevil
Problem is everybody associates Natasha's backstory with Earth-199999, where they were literally father and daughter (adopted but close enough.)

Inverse is true for Bucky and Steve

616 stucky is weird and awful (purely because James was 12 when he first met cap and became his Robin, cap was 23)
They always had a father son relationship in the comics

In the films I'm okay with it because they had a lot of homoerotic undertones
Quite frankly comics lore I view it as incest MCU is fine

Demon fire
(First off Damian Wayne has very few good ships)
Night fire or Mari'ander Grayson is the daughter of Kori'anders and Dick Grayson (first Robin/ Nightwing/second Batman)

Damien son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al ghul, daughter to Ra's al ghul

Technically this ship is older than Damian's creation, appeared in Kingdom Come a elseworld story in the 90s Damien was not created tell 05.
We saw a proto Damien and Mari meet and fall in love as adults. Damien was raised by his mother ibn (his name was literally Arabic for Son of the bat)

Genuinely think it's a cute couple.
Only problem is going by adoption Damien would be her uncle (dick being the adopted son of Bruce)

My point is I have standards too

god I hate those stories when done well it can make me cry like a little b#####
But by God I never see it done well, and knowing the rates it happens on campuses or society at large and how little it's actually reported I don't like it as a subject.
There's a reason why I like "safe sane and consensua"l as a motto

Do you mean the scenes? I thought they were defined under again the sex,

Some people physically can get off to having their hair pulled, like it's literally a erogenous zone

these are weird biological quirks that are still being studied. I can't write sex for crap but BDSM relationships are interesting when done well, I've ever read a adorable comic called "sunstone" that was a BDSM lesbian slice of Life story that I would highly recommend.

Then I can't write smut because any time I tried BDSM smut I inevitably and ended up having the characters break character and start giggling because I enjoy the fluff and the romance. Flubbing lines trying to sound sexy but ending up sounding corny.0 those are fun. Those are cute!a
There are performance art to the practice.
I did not know how smut writers can be serious

Look I'm trying to backstory to padme's family not easy when you only know that her mother Winama Naberrie was a textile worker a famous one at that, I want to give the family A more proletarian Lean

And thought that having her be one of the grow up poor, hop from job to job but stay in the textile business because she felt that there was too much exploitation going on, go to her stubborn pride she manages to unionize the textile industry of Naboo, (only problem is you kind of need money to unionize, strike funds etc

So as a side while she was prepping she decided to join a S&m club, as a worker there

Meets the blue blooded Black sheep to the (I'm going with the name ashtar but that's because I thought it sounded cool) family
Into kink from books, but he's an inexperience growing up in a gated community.(I'm trying to come up with names that could have as much weight as Vanderbilt, Rothschild, Rockefeller, koch etc

They meet he later becomes a regular, that fall in love during aftercare, plus him using his wealth that he doesn't even care about for strikes


The point is with Merrick Naberrie nee ashtar
he simply changes, views that the system he(his family) benefited from was drenched in blood of the working class.

I can't remember the exact term. This has been more about lore building on the Naberries

 

There are many ways for a story to be too adult for these forums without containing explicit scenes. I highly recommend the FanFic FAQ that Mira linked to; there are rules and examples there. Regardless, any story that has the themes you've mentioned is going to fall into a gray area that will require a judgment call. If you're unsure about a specific passage, you can, as Mira said, PM a mod and ask. That said, the JC is a family-friendly forum with a PG TOS and always has been, and we all have to be careful to abide by those standards. Fanfiction.net and Archive of Our Own have much more leniency in these areas. You may want to consider them for posting this story.

 

First of all the Morgukai warriors were at the verge of Extinction at that point. You have to remember the separatists were winning for majority of the war, they have the numerical advantage, the industrial advantage, and were slowly but surely defeating the Republic one strike at a time.

The super battle droids would be far easier to use to fight against the Republic then create a whole clone army in a few years when the Republic would have had to make a treaty in with in months.
Magma gaurds would also help

TThe Republic was already on edge for having child soldiers, the separatists technically had the moral high ground at the time cuz they were using droids.(droids are a weird thing in Star wars in that I bet they are civil liberties or whatever are based on how much actual intelligence and sapiens the Droid develops)

Again adding to the unethical nature of the mutation, was it the actual separatists or was it one of their many allies and not the core separatist body? I honestly can't remember

here's the thing they could be using different concoctions and formulas for the mutation, and different species would cause different effects clones are near enough human but the Nelvaanians different species although they were anthropomorphically similar too humanoids

Again probably different formulas

I was under the impression that they were using the Nelvaanians as slaves to build and to guard against their facilities

(Likely considered a war crime if it got to the public),

I would assume mutated Nelvaanians would be able to lift like a forklift if they had both arms. Basically similar to what the wookies were to the Death Star and it's construction (yeah the Empire used wookie slaves in the construction)

It all depends but I think the Nelvaanians were stronger.

 

I am curious, have there been any instances in the Star Wars universe (Canon or Legends) where they tried to create super soldiers? And by super soldiers, I am not referring to cyborgs but individuals with enhanced muscles and pique physical condition (like Marvel's Captain America). There were only two instances I am aware of: the mutated Nelvaan warriors from 2003 Clone Wars and Savage Opress from 2008 Clone Wars. In the former example it looked like some imperfect experiment and in the latter they used magic rather than science. Wrecker from the Bad Batch would qualify as a super soldier, but it appears his mutation was a complete accident. I wasn't sure if there were any other examples of beings whose physical abilities were enhanced.

 

So this is something I have been thinking about. In the Clone Wars episode "Destroy Malevolence", the Malevolence is being pursued by 3 Republic Venators. The ion cannon and the hyperdrive have both been disabled, so Grievous tries to retreat while Republic forces are pursuing them. I am assuming the Republic was pursuing Grievous for a while because Anakin is with them at the start of the episode even though he was on the medical station at the end of the last episode to prepare for the upcoming battle. Also some time would be needed for Dooku and Sidious to arrange for Padme to arrive at the battle to be Grievous' hostage.

My question is what would've have happened if the Malevolence had turned around to fight the 3 Venators? With the hyperdrive offline, the ship was just a giant sitting duck for the Republic to fire at. If they were being pursued for a while, the Separatists should have been thinking "Okay this isn't working. We clearly are not going to escape moving at a snail's pace." Granted the Malevolence had already sustained extensive damage, but the ship was so big it could take a lot of damge from enemy fire. The Malevolence may have lost the ion cannon, but it still had 500 turbolasers that it could use to fight back. This armament outmatched the combined power of the 3 pursuing Venators, so if the Malevolence turned around it should've been able to eventually overwhelm and destroy the Republic ships (although it would've taken longer without the ion cannon). This may seem out of character for Grievous who was a coward when things didn't go his way, but with limited options the best defense is a good offense. Does this seem plausible?