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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Resource Fanfic Writer's Desk: Your Place for Writing Discussion, Questions, and Advice

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Luna_Nightshade, Nov 24, 2011.

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  1. SatineNaberrie

    SatineNaberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 28, 2014
  2. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

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    Jul 11, 2014
    SatineNaberrie I agree with pretty much everything jcgoble3 said. I'll add one thing about descriptors like "The halls were devoid of decoration and there were no windows." Describing what is not there may make sense if you want to create an ambience (i.e. you want to emphasise that the place is gloomy, or that it's a barebones makeshift base, or it somehow reflects your character's mood, etc.) but then you probably need to multiply these descriptors and/or to have a separate paragraph where you describe the setting in detail.

    A problem I often face when trying to insert elements of description in a scene is that I tend to slap two or three adjectives on every noun, plus a couple of adverbs on each adjective, and my sentences become insufferably verbose :p I normally have at least one editing round on each chapter whose sole purpose is to remove excess adjectives and adverbs, and believe me, the word count shrinks by 20% when I'm done. I know that one reason I do this is that my mother tongue is a much more florid language than English, but I've seen native English speakers do it too in the description/action combo sentences, so you may want to be a bit careful about that.
     
  3. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Chosen One star 6

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    Nov 7, 2010
    Indeed, fair point. I would say that this is best done at the start of the scene in an opening paragraph or two that describes the setting, which would be completely separate from what I described because you wouldn't have even established a POV character for the scene yet. Once you're done with that, then you can go something like, "It was there that Luke found himself walking down the hall toward..." to establish the POV character and actually "roll the film" on the scene.
     
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  4. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Another tip: if you want to master the interior and exterior as tools for describing the mood, if you want to picture suspense etc, read Honoré de Balzac. His books may appear somewhat boring, but the key to the fact that they are still relevant lies precisely in that.
     
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  5. Goodwood

    Goodwood Jedi Master star 5

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    May 11, 2011
    It depends on what your goal for the scene is, where you're going with it, and how important it may or may not be for the overall plot.

    Going full-out to describe scenes in ornate detail is itself a unique writing style, a subgenre of sorts (stream-of-consciousness uses this a lot), and even if you're writing more mainstream fiction, such comprehensive descriptions can have their uses. I find that the best times to go down this road are for scenes involving highly-charged emotions—love scenes, scenes of an intense personal nature (e.g., traumatic events either relayed as flashbacks or as part of the story progression), and the story's climax. It also pays to be more attentive to detail when introducing original concepts such as planets, starships, or weapons that you have created yourself for use in the story, as it gives the readers not only a basis for comparison to the broader meta-fiction ("canon" bits of the Star Wars universe, for example), but weaves it into the narrative (how the story's characters see it).
     
  6. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Stream-of-consciousness is awesome and Virginia Woolf and Henry Miller were doing that right.
     
  7. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

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    Dec 16, 2012
    Is there any map over the known parts of the unknown regions?
     
  8. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Feb 25, 2010
    Okay, so, I have decided to revamp a VERY old story and I have an original alien character "Dat talks zust like dis" (think Barabel meets Gungan meets Tia Dalma from PoC). I'm wondering if that is just too annoying to read. Should I convert it to normal English?
     
  9. TrakNar

    TrakNar Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 4, 2011
    I say keep it. Though, I'd avoid long-winded monologues with that dialect.
     
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  10. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

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    Jul 11, 2014
    Yay, new alien OC! I agree with Trak about the monologues and I'd add not too much dialogue either (by "too much" I mean entire dialogue-based chapters -- although from what I've seen of your writing, pages and pages of dialogue isn't one of your habits in the first place.)
     
  11. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Thanks. I'm thinking about keeping it, but this fic is already entirely written... by 15 year old me. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

    But I don't think there are any epic monologues, plus I'm mostly just posting for your people's lol's.
     
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  12. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Briann, if this is of any help, I decided to include a horrible excuse of an alien I drew when I was 10 in one of my next fics, keeping his first name, bizareness of his species, their unexplained thirst for revenge and their war chants.

    Let's say that they are underwater canine aranchids. It makes sense...in my 1993 understanding of TFMOE.
     
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  13. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2012
    To continue with this
    The Burning Black

    Intro
    The space that the Blazing chain sees as their hunting ground is known as the Burning black, the ‘chain can not really be said to control most of it but it is space where they know all the ins and outs and can ambush without any problem. They will also hunt down and other pirate or privateer that thinks they can raid on their territory.

    Beside the blazing chain so do their exist [nr] larger power groups in the Burning black – the Eigrioch commonwealth, who is expanding into the Burning black from the north loking for new worlds to conquer; [possibly more] and the Tokan triad (actually three power groups who have banded together) who are coming from the south to colonise and trade – those groups are the ‘chains main targets. It is also worth to mention the ancient Eldarfing empire which was an empire that existed and fell before the coming of the Blazing chain. The Eldarfing empire covered a relatively large area of space and incorporated many planet that are now in the Burning black, because of this you can find eldarfings and their servitor races on many worlds. Among the celdarfing’s colony planets are the Tokan triad’s capital worlds.




    So any thoughts or suggestions?
     
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  14. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Wait, you just came up with A TRIAD that is not THE TRIAD. So, my obvious question is if you were inspired by The Triad?
     
  15. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
    Does anyone know the name of the tube that leads to the top access hatch of the Millenium Falcon - the one Lando used to rescue Luke in ESB? Or is a term like "hatch access tube" suitable.
     
  16. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

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    Dec 16, 2012
    It is triad as in trio
     
  17. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    Then why not call it trio? This may be just my way of seeing things so I apologise in advance, but the word Triad in the SW universe immediately makes me think of politicians and corruption, centralised government.
     
  18. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2012
    You make it sound like the Tokan triad is not corrupt, centralised governments :p
     
  19. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

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    Jul 31, 2014
    It's just that it's three groups and not three individuals that...got me. :p
     
  20. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    I just checked the ESB novelisation and a few more SW books and it doesn't appear to have a proper name. Maybe "top hatch access lift" instead of "tube" (since Lando is on a moving platform)?
     
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  21. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    The Haynes technical manual just calls it the "upper hatch" or "dorsal hatch".
     
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  22. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Dec 16, 2012
    To continue with this
    The Burning Black

    Intro
    The space that the Blazing chain sees as their hunting ground is known as the Burning black, the ‘chain can not really be said to control most of it but it is space where they know all the ins and outs and can ambush without any problem. They will also hunt down and other pirate or privateer that thinks they can raid on their territory.

    Beside the blazing chain so do their exist [nr] larger power groups in the Burning black – the Eigrioch commonwealth, who is expanding into the Burning black from the north loking for new worlds to conquer; [possibly more] and the Tokan triad (actually three power groups who have banded together) who are coming from the south to colonise and trade – those groups are the ‘chains main targets. It is also worth to mention the ancient Eldarfing empire which was an empire that existed and fell before the coming of the Blazing chain. The Eldarfing empire covered a relatively large area of space and incorporated many planet that are now in the Burning black, because of this you can find eldarfings and their servitor races on many worlds. Among the celdarfing’s colony planets are the Tokan triad’s capital worlds.

    Main species
    Humans: Physical the same as in the rest of the galaxy. A majority belong to Blazing chain
    Duros: Physical the same as in the rest of the galaxy. A large majority belong to Blazing chain.
    Eldarfing (singular eldarfingi): Barrel-shaped beings with starfish-like head, five symmetrical placed tentacles and starfish-like "legs". Can breathe both in air and under water and are capable of surviving extreme temperatures, high levels of radiation and many poisons that would kill other species. Can be found on many planets with many different cultures and technological levels.
    Eigrioch: Dragon like sentients with four arms that communicate through telepathy (they are actually incapable of verbal speech). They believe that it is their manifested destiny to continue to expand but is actually in danger of overstretching. The eigrioch look down on non-telepathic people and even people capable of telepathy are considered below eigrioch but above the rest.
    Beside tapestries so don’t the eigrioch do flat art, all their paintings and mosaics are on non-flat surfaces.

    Lesser species
    Draethos: Physical the same as in the rest of the galaxy.
    Lindorm: Four-armed naganoids with snakelike heads that speak basic with a lisp (even if that can be trained away). Have a cultural affection for poisons and racial affection for decadence. Are of unknown origin but probably comes from somewhere down-east of known space*. The lindorm are known to join, or at least ally, with any of the powers in the Burning black but usually keep most of their own ways and culture. Usually work as mercenaries, poison-makers, medics and jewellers.
    * Here meaning the part of space that Blazing chain, Tokan triad and the Eigrioch empire know.
    Sjaastjaerna: Starfish-shaped, gas filled beings that fly by sucking air through a hole in the top of their bodies and then forcing it out through holes in the bottom and tips of their appendages. Thin tentacles uncoil from the bottom of their bodies for use in navigation, sensory input, defence, and communication. Were one of ancient eldarfing’s servitor races and can be found on many planets with many different cultures and technological levels.
    Skjambler: Semi-sentient simian-insectoids that the eldarfing are able to more or less fully control through not fully understood means. They are used as work- and fighting force by the eldarfing on the worlds were they both exist.
    [Name needed]: Long bodied wolverine like sentients who usually walk on all four, they can walk on two leg but are very slow. They are good swimmers, better climbers and have no problems with tight tunnels.
    Their range weapons are usually carried, along with ammunition bandoliers, on mechanical armatures strapped to their sinuous bodies. Those weapons are aimed and fired by a mind impulse device wired into the [Name needed]’s brain, leaving all four limbs free for climbing at all time.
    They come from somewhere in the northern Burning black and a majority of them serve the Eigrioch commonwealth but you can also find them among other groups, some who fight against the commonwealth.
    [Another name needed]: caterpilloid with ten limbs whose foremost six limbs have the ability of fin manipulation. They are around three meter long when walking on all ten, but usually raise the first part of their body from the ground so they can use their hands. Have an internal skeleton.
    Their homeworld is part of the Eigrioch commonwealth and most [Another name needed] seems stratified with their position.
    Their architecture resembles the Barbapapa family’s but on a smaller scale.

    Power factions
    The Tokan triad: an alliance of three planets, Tremain, Kuakatatoramakora and Dandanny, that are rather near each other, hyperspace travel speaking. The alliance originally begun to protect them from the Blazing chain but now they will try to work together (or at least give the appearance of working together) to take so much old Blazing chain territory as possible before the pirates are able to renew their forces and power.

    Planets
    Tremain: a cast based society where each cast is made up by one species. The species and casts are: eldarfing, draethos, aihai, [at least two more].
    Kuakatatoramakora: A planet mostly poisoned by old wars and industry where people live in hive cities ruled over by eldarfing.
    Dandanny: Unlike the other two triad members so are Dandanny’s expansion not government lead but instead mostly controlled by three competing mega-corporations, comparable to the East Indian Trading Company.




    So any thoughts or suggestions? I am open for many sugestions regarding the Tokan triad and the planets in it.
     
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  23. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 27, 2005
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  24. stellarmagic01

    stellarmagic01 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 1, 2012
    Hmm... I wonder if we should start a couple fanfiction challenges based on combining EU figures, concepts, and so forth with the new canon...

    So tempting to write a Rebels fanfiction with a teenage Mara Jade playing infiltrator...
     
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  25. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Don't even ask, do it. :)