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Fanfiction Newsletter, Edition 6, January 2004, Special Extended Edition

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Jane Jinn, Jan 28, 2004.

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  1. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    PAGE I

    Story Reviews

    Beyond the Saga:

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/14418020/?7]Return to the Corporate Sector[/link] by ivylore

    Era: one month after Battle of Endor
    Status: in progress
    Summary: A desperate plea for help from an old friend sends Han Solo back to the wilds of the Corporate Sector, only this time he has Princess Leia Organa as his co-pilot. When the pair stumbles headfirst into a professional set-up, Han discovers that for once in his life, he just might be wrong about his past coming back to haunt him.

    Reviewer 1:

    Rating: Excellent

    Comments:
    The Return to Corporate Sector by ivylore is an interesting account of a classically Star Wars adventure tale: Shortly after the Batle of Endor, Han and Leia fly off to the CS to help out an old friend of Han's... a *female* friend...

    Taking place in the first days after the Emperor's death, Ivy's attention to detail encompasses the surreality of a new relationship growing deeper and becoming something much more to both parties. The story starts with several interesting curves, any one of which would make a neat little vignette all its own. The Prologue is one of the first fanfics I have read that even mentions the Endor Ecological Incident even in passing: very clever, and its clear the author is well versed in OT scientific speculation, or at least has read the same pages of the TechComms as I have.

    Taking place as much of it does, in the Corporate Sector, readers of Brian Daley's Solo Trilogy will appreciate the continuity with those books, often held up as the hallmarks of classic SW fiction. Ivy writes Han with the same style and in the same hapless but capable-at-getting-out-of-trouble mode as Daley did, and it's clear the author knows where her story is going.

    Minor editing issues do not detract greatly from the story, or the excellent characterisations of the starring players. The dialogue flows naturally and the descriptive passages are evocative but not overwhelming, but by far this story's most outstanding feature is its superb characterisations. I'm looking forward to reading more!

    Quote:
    In a comm conversation with her brother, Leia attempts to explain why she is leaving with Han:

    That reminded Leia there was more she needed to tell him.

    The image was fuzzy but Luke?s baffled expression was crystal clear. ?The Corporate Sector? Is that what I just heard you say??

    ?That?s it.?

    ?This isn?t for the Alliance is it??

    Ineffably, Leia felt her elbows crossing her chest and staking out a preemptive defensive posture. ?No.?

    ?Then what is it for??

    ?It?s?? Well I don?t have the foggiest? ?It?s? an old friend is in trouble.?

    ?An old friend of Han?s,? Luke sighed knowingly.

    ?Please don?t sound like that.?

    ?Not that I have anything against Lando,? he proclaimed. ?But his old friend?s have a habit of ??

    ?If you?re trying to find a tactful way to say, ?getting us in trouble,? I hear you. That?s exactly why I need to go."

    =====

    Reviewer 2:

    Rating: Excellent

    Comments:
    This is a fascinating story, rich with details, a complex plot, and wonderful insights into the main characters. The relationship between Leia and Han is immensely satisfying, full of love and trust, gentle teasing, and genuine caring. Highly recommended!

    Quote:
    They?d been very late leaving their suite for dinner after all. Not because he?d intended it, but because he?d wanted to make that look on her face go away, the one full of hurt that he could never touch; he could distract her from it, not fix it.

    *****

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/14397252/?20]Hello, I?m Your Brother[/link] by JadenSkywalker

    Era: post-NJO
    Status: in progress
    Summary: Adele Skywalker is the odd-one-out in a family of Force-users. Delve back into the strange, twisted events of three years earlier, when a mysterious ?and previously uncharted? planet spar
     
  2. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    PAGE II

    Vignette Reviews:
    by Amidala_Skywalker

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/Before_the_Saga/b10475/12308052/?32]I Hate My Job[/link] by dianethx

    Era: Before the Saga,
    Status: Vignette, complete
    Summary: A new Docent learns about how hard a job can be when she is forced to tell an initiate that he has failed to find a Master and must leave for Bandomeer.

    Notes: This was first conceived in the Writer's Resource Thread [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=11444381&page=1]The Laboratory [/link]

    Comments:
    This story gives the reader an interesting look through the eyes of a character that lives in the Jedi Temple, but is not a Jedi Knight and is only remotely Force sensitive. Docent Vant?s job is to inform young Jedi initiates that they are to be shipped off to Agri-Corps or the Healer?s Association since they had not been chosen by a master before their thirteenth birthday. Told through first person, this tale is a ?missing scene? from a JA book where Docent Vant insists that Obi-Wan must be shipped off, thereby shattering his dream and his career as a Jedi. In the books, Obi-Wan is taken as Qui-Gon?s padawan on that ship and his path in the grand scheme of GFFA history is restored.


    Dianethx puts a nice spin on this story by making the female character remorseful at her new job, which makes her decide to find a new one. Vant?s dream may be shattered, but she doesn?t intend to ruin the dreams and hopes of others.

    Overall, it?s a very nicely written vignette.

    Rating: A steady 7/10.

    ====

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/The_Saga/b10476/12949748/?6]Pieces of Me, Pieces of You[/link] by Bri_Windstar

    Era: The Saga
    Status: Vignette, complete
    Summary: Amidala considers her children.

    Comments:
    I rarely read post-EP3 fanfiction these days because I know how they focus on the depression and chaos of the years during and the Purge. However, this fic has drawn me to write a review because the author, Bri_Windstar, is so lyrical with her words. For me, she really made the text come alive, especially when she was portraying Padme?s desperation and sacrifice at giving up her children and the love that they would never have the chance to give her.

    I especially like the use of first person here. It makes the piece stronger. Bri_Windstar is able to repeat her words throughout the piece, making them seem more powerful, bittersweet and resolute. Her descriptions are well-crafted and her use of a wide variety of language and syntax is evident.

    This truly is an inspiring and thought-provoking piece that leaves you with an intense feeling of sympathy for the Skywalkers.


    Rating A memorable 8½/10.

    =====

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=14611246&replies=0]We Interrupt This Broadcast[/link] by DarthIshtar

    Era: Beyond the Saga
    Status: Vignette, complete
    Summary: In response to the ?Collapse of the Empire? challenge.

    Comments:
    This piece is a slightly humorous jab at the Empire?s Ministry of Information and at the biased Imperial media coverage of the battle of Endor. As the author reports, this story was motivated by the reports that stemmed from the Iraqi Minister of Information. The plot itself tells the account of those working within the Ministry of Information as they attempt to fabricate a new broadcast that is positively slanted towards the Imperials. That is until a transmission is broadcast contradicting their news update and seeing the destruction of the Empire.

    One of my favourite parts of this story is the banter between the characters about adapting the truth to suit their own needs. Also, this piece supports the fact that the public is told only the propaganda that the Empire deems necessary. This definitely identifies with Palpatine as a tyrannical figure who controlled every part of the society.

    DarthIshtar writes this piece very well. The story is extremely enjoyable, and as I said, somewhat comical at times.


    Rating: A well-deserved 8/1
     
  3. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    PAGE III

    Special Extended Edition ? Reviews of some of the stories entered in the Winter Holiday Fan Fiction Contest

    There were twenty-seven pieces completed in the FanFiction Challenge for the winter holidays. All the stories entered had to include themes of candles, light, a holiday, gifts, and reunion, as well as start with the same opening sentence. The reviews are posted in no particular order.

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=14229370]The Last Niabara Night[/link] by Gandalf the Grey

    Rating: Very Good

    Comments
    Showing one of the clever ways to get around the "Three-post" rule of the contest, Gandalf the Grey has presented us with several one-post stories from the Purges and the history of the Jedi, as his characters share them to each other as holiday gifts. The climax is chilling, the individual tales all well-structured, and the idea itself - that Jedi celebrate the holiday by swapping stories, since the attachment of possession is forbidden - is great. We are also treated, at the end, to an unused story and an alternate version of the fourth.

    Quote
    They gathered again in the main room. The fire was dying down, and shed little light. The sky was brightening outside, but the dawn had yet to come. Candles provided their only light. Escape was not in the minds of any there. It was only a matter of how they would meet the trial.

    *****

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=14190121&replies=0]Sandstorm Celebration[/link] by PadmeLeiaJaina

    Rating: Excellent

    Comments:
    This fic is a superb example of ensemble casting, from the gruff but protective Owen Lars to the understanding Beru, from the disappointed child Luke to the aging Ben Kenobi. The emotions of loss, anger, fear and longing are just beautifully balanced in the struggle of Ben and Owen over Luke's upbringing. The story is fairly simple on the surface but rich in depth and detail - Owen Lars refuses to allow Ben to see his young nephew; Luke wonders about the Emperor's Day celebration and why the Lars refuse to participate; and Ben gives Luke a secret gift of joy and beauty. Definitely worth a read and a reread!

    Quote:
    Ben exhaled a deep sigh of relief. Over the years, he had tracked Luke?s progress, from afar. But just hearing Beru confirm his suspicions was a weight off of his shoulders. ?That?s good to hear.?

    Patting down two blankets into place, Beru snuck a glance in her companion?s direction. Much like they looked on that fateful night so many years ago, Ben?s eyes were haunted and filled with regret and pain. She knew that Owen?s enforced separation from him and Luke was hard on the older man. Unlike her unforgiving husband, she understood that Ben Kenobi wanted nothing but the best for her young charge and would never hurt the boy.


    *****

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=14416806]Remembrance Night[/link] by Knight_Dilettante

    Rating: Excellent

    Comments:
    This story was heartwarming and satisfying on several levels. The struggle of Obi-Wan and Anakin to get to the cabin and tend their wounds mirrors the internal struggles of Obi-Wan striving to be a good Master to Anakin and of Anakin trying to be an acceptable and cherished Padawan. The secondary stories of the Tale of Remembrance Night and Anakin's efforts to make a gift for his Master were both well-done and helped to emphasize the Master/Padawan relationship. The characterizations of all the players were wonderfully drawn; the wording was clear, making it easy to picture just what was going on. An absolute pleasure to read.

    Quote:
    Staring into the barely moving candle flames Obi-Wan whispered, "Master, I wish you were here to guide me through this minefield." Of course, if you were here, it would be your minefield. He wished so heartily at times that the minefield was not his to navigate. At others, his pride in Anakin made all other considerations secondary. But always, he
     
  4. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Page IV

    Grammar Tip of the Month
    People seldom mix "two" up with the other two; it obviously belongs with words that also begin with TW, like "twice" and "twenty" that involve the number 2. But the other two are confused all the time. Just remember that the only meanings of "too" are "also" ("I want some ice cream too.") and "in excess" ("Your walkman is playing too loudly.") Note that extra O. It should remind you that this word has to do with adding more on to something. "To" is the proper spelling for all the other uses.
    From the website [link=http://www.wsu.edu:8080/~brians/errors/errors.html#errors]Common Errors in English[/link]

    +++++

    Writing Tip of the Month

    A SENTENCE FRAGMENT fails to be a sentence in the sense that it cannot stand by itself. It does not contain even one independent clause. There are several reasons why a group of words may seem to act like a sentence but not have the wherewithal to make it as a complete thought.

    It may locate something in time and place with a prepositional phrase or a series of such phrases, but it's still lacking a proper subject-verb relationship within an independent clause:

    In Japan, during the last war and just before the armistice.

    This sentence accomplishes a great deal in terms of placing the reader in time and place, but there is no subject, no verb.

    It describes something, but there is no subject-verb relationship:

    Working far into the night in an effort to salvage her little boat.

    This is a verbal phrase that wants to modify something, the real subject of the sentence (about to come up), probably the she who was working so hard.

    It may have most of the makings of a sentence but still be missing an important part of a verb string:

    Some of the students working in Professor Espinoza's laboratory last semester.

    Remember that an -ing verb form without an auxiliary form to accompany it can never be a verb.

    It may even have a subject-verb relationship, but it has been subordinated to another idea by a dependent word and so cannot stand by itself:

    Even though he had the better arguments and was by far the more powerful speaker.

    This sentence fragment has a subject, he, and two verbs, had and was, but it cannot stand by itself because of the dependent word (subordinating conjunction) even though. We need an independent clause to follow up this dependent clause: . . . the more powerful speaker, he lost the case because he didn't understand the jury.


    From: [link=http://www.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/fragments.htm]Guide to Grammar and Writing, Deadly Sins Checklist, Sentence Fragments[/link]
    +++++

    Challenge Thread Tip of the Month

    [link=http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=14611246&replies=0]Collapse of the Empire Anthology Thread[/link]

    The Writing Challenge: Write a vignette or a short story on the reactions/life of an OC after the fall. You also have to decide whether your character was an Imperial supporter, neutral, or a Rebel supporter. You can base your story on any planet. It can be straight after the collapse when the news is just coming in from Endor or it can be a few days after.

    The Feedback Challenge: Check out the thread and leave some feedback on any story, or even all of them.

    +++++

    Humour
    ? keeping in tune with the winter holiday fan fiction contest ?

    Read the caption!
    Leia's worst Christmas ever was when she found out Santa was really just her Dad in a goofy costume.

    See [link=http://theforce.net/humor/captioning/cap13.shtml]the picture![/link]

    +++++

    Forum News
    by Amidala_Skywalker

    Welcome to 2004, the year of the monkey! I hope this year will bring you many more plot bunnies along with the continued success of your ongoing works. Just for luck, I?d also like to wish all the best to the authors at the Jedi Council Fan Fiction boards ? when on the net or in RL - and the forums on the whole.
     
  5. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Once again, a superb issue! :) It was, of course, extra special thanks to the fan fics that were showcased from the Winter Fiction contest.

    It was a pleasure to work with you on this project, Jane. With luck, someone will step forward to take your place and follow the fine example you have set. You, along with all your staff, have made the newsletter into something the entire community can take pride in.

    Here?s to the continued success of the newsletter! :D

    Am [face_love]
     
  6. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Good job, everyone. I'm especially glad to see reviews from Beyond the Saga since I rarely get over there.

    Thanks to Amidala_Skywalker for reviewing my vignette. I was quite surprised and happy to see it.


    And an especially strong THANK YOU to JaneJinn who organized the last three newsletters. It's been a lot of fun working with you.

    To the next editor, I'm still available if you need reviewers....

    And now I'm off to read stories!
     
  7. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Great news, everybody! Xaara has just agreed to become the next Newsletter Organizer. I'm very pleased and I'm sure she'll do a great job. :)
     
  8. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    Zounds! I was reviewed! That was a big confidence-booster, especially since I was worried that the story would turn silly. Thank you, whoever did the reviews :)
     
  9. Xaara

    Xaara Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Thanks for the nod, Jane Jinn. :) You all truly outdid yourselves this time. I liked the Winter Fic reviews - what a wonderful way to include the challenge in the newsletter!

    Those were some very interesting plot bunnies as well. I can see someone's spent a great deal of time working on them. I also noticed a slight resemblance between the beginning of the first one and the start of The Sound of Music... :)

    Great job, everyone, and I hope I can help produce newsletters as professional as this one.
     
  10. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 9, 2000
    I loved the ad! Can you imagine the pages of liability waiver you'd have to sign, though? ("Solo Tours assumes no responsibility for lost lugguage or injuries or death incurred by wormholes, bounty hunter attacks, spice pirates, Imperial patrols, Jedi missions, space worms, mynocks, Rebel plots, mechanical breakdowns, enraged Wookies or Acts of the Force.")
     
  11. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    Great job, team, and especially huge kudos to Jane for doing such a bang-up job o these past three issues!

    The first plot bunny is hilarious. The "Sound of Music scene" in AOTC takes on sudden new/old meaning. :) Love the advert, too: very funny: who is the unknown comic genius in our midst?

    High fives all around, team, and here's to another fun term under a new Editrix! :)


    *Derisa*

     
  12. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Love the advert, too: very funny: who is the unknown comic genius in our midst?

    None other than our very own, very talented dianethx! Woo-hoo, Diane!
     
  13. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Mistress_Renata - Loved your Solo Tours waiver! You should write more comedy!

    Derisa Thanks. It was great working with Jane!

    Jane You're the best. But now that you aren't editor, does that mean you will be writing more????
     
  14. Puggy

    Puggy Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 1, 2002
    Awesome newsletter, everyone! Excellent work! Kudos for being able to pull this all together so well. :D

    And to Amsie: I've told you before, and I'll tell you again... you're so good at embarrassing me! [face_blush] My curiosity got the best of me and I peaked in to see what you had said. Thank you for the kind review... it really made my day. :) *Hugs*

     
  15. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Great job, guys. You've really outdone yourselves. I have no doubt that the job is huge (editing a newsletter myself for my synagogue) - and the fact that you're all volunteers doesn't go unnoticed by us. Thanks for all your hard work! :)

    Diane, I had no doubt that ad came out of your head. Very funny! The waiver should be added in to it. :D

    Shaindl
     
  16. Knight_Dilettante

    Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2002
    I love the newsletters in general. I am new-ish to them as I hadn't seen them before JaneJinn started doing them recently. I think they are a great resource to have here and I am grateful to Xaara for taking it on for the next set.

    I particularly loved the ad in this one. [face_laugh] I was bursting blood vessels trying not to laugh so loud that I would be heard, since I was here at work. And yes, I think I agree that the disclaimer would be an appropriate addition. But in 4 point type (well, very very small anyway).

    And my thanks also to Amidala_Skywalker for her review of "Remembrance Night". I'm still [face_blush] from it. Of course, to be truthful, one (this one anyway) is thrilled to know that one's work is enjoyed/appreciated so I'm :D too. I need to get back on that thread though and clean up the typos now. I should have done that after the decisions were made. Stupid flu.

    And I am even more grateful to all the reviewers for pointing me to some stories which I absolutely, positively, have to read as soon as I can. The reviews and excerpts are very compelling.

    KD
     
  17. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Thanks for reading, everybody! I'm glad you enjoyed the plot bunnies. Yes, the first one was lifted directly from The Sound of Music. I can only say that I was desperate. But I have to ask Derisa -- what scene in AOTC was that?

    Wonderful addition to the advertisement, Renata! Feel free to step forward and offer your skills to the next edition. :)

    dianethx You're the best.

    Aww, thanks! :)

    But now that you aren't editor, does that mean you will be writing more????

    I hope so, even though I'm feeling as dry and empty as the Martian landscape just at the moment, and therefore just about as productive.
     
  18. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    Yet another helpful, and greatly insightful issue.

    The grammar section is always a favorite of mine. I'll also have to look into those other websites for some tips with my writing.

    Interesting issue, Newsletter staff. ;)

     
  19. _Derisa_Ollamhin_

    _Derisa_Ollamhin_ Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2000
    But I have to ask Derisa -- what scene in AOTC was that?

    Jane: That would be the one with Anakin and Padme having a picnic in a field of flowers, and him goofing around on the back of the shaak... many people have since referred to that scene, (somewhat disparagingly) as the "Sound of Music" scene, due to the alpine scenery, and since any moment, they expected one or the other of them to break out into song.

    It was a good, phat issue: way to go out with a bang, Jane. :)


    *Derisa*
     
  20. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    Awww, thanks, Derisa. And thanks for the explanation of the scene. I thought it might be something like Obi-Wan singing "How do you solve a problem like my Pad'wan?"
     
  21. Knight_Dilettante

    Knight_Dilettante Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Didn't someone do "How do you solve a problem like Anakin?" in the songs of star wars thread?

    The Sound of Music version of Star Wars (or Vice Versa) is a terrifying plot bunny if you ask me.

    KD
     
  22. Geezerette50

    Geezerette50 Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Dec 28, 2003
    This is my first time reading this newsletter, or any edition thereof, and I must say I find it a very interesting concept! Recapping recent long fiction pieces, offering alternate reviews, and citing chunks of fics from the Winter Challenge allow newbies such as me to find additional sources of inspiration and more capably work our way around this gigantic site.

    Thanks, also, for the review and tidbit of my entry. I had entered pieces for exercises and challenges on other sites, but never into anything of this breadth and depth. It was, as my brother would say, good training for me. (He never did indicate what the purpose of the training WAS...)

    ;)

    Sue
     
  23. Lady-Hermione

    Lady-Hermione Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Jul 15, 2003
    What an excellent newsletter! It is very well-organized, informative, and entertaining at the same time (which is a difficult combination to achieve). Thanks to everyone that dedicated their time to producing such a helpful resource.

    I have to admit, partial to humor as I am, that I just loved the Solo Tours ad. [face_laugh] That's awesome! LOL... love the waiver, Mistress_Renata.
     
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