Title: Fish Out of Water Characters: Rey, OC Ansyn Turlock Genre: humor flash fic A/N: First of all, this is an uinsolicted fic-gift for @Raissa Baiard. I saw somewhere that she enjoyed the Anson/Rey dynamic. This may not be anything you expected. But, it is what it is. Second of all, this is soooo CRACK! It is possibly OOC...or not. You have been warned. Thirdly, it is an OPT Challenge drop in for "Date Night Gone Rong'. It uses the prompt: wardrobe malfunction. I hope you enjoy. “No one is ever too old to do a foolish thing.” ~ Uncle Silas by J. Sheridan Le Fanu Fish Out of Water It had been a year since the 49 year old merchant had been unceremoniously drafted into the new Jedi order. At the time, he had no real choice. His life had been in danger and a beautiful, but frustrating, young Jedi had come to save it. The rest, such as it was, was history. Said history led both Master and Apprentice into a realm neither expected, but both, eventually, embraced. “The other initiates are talking, Ansyn,” Rey said, shifting uncomfortably in her seat at Vaunted Plumage restaurant in the capital city of Antos III. “So, let them talk,” replied Turlock, a Jedi Knight and the rumored consort of Jedi Master Rey Sandstar. “What do they really know anyway? And, why are you fidgeting like that?” Rey pinned him with ‘the look’ which translated to ‘you know I hate places like this’ as well as ‘don’t ask stupid questions’. “Apparently, they know enough to be whispering rumors about an affair,” she said, frostily. “An affair?” he replied in mock outrage. “The nerve of those ungrateful rock throwers! Give a kid a laser sword and all he can think about is what the adults are doing behind closed doors.” “Which is nothing,” Rey was quick to add while restoring stray strands of hair behind her ear. “Nothing at all.” “I know that dress is a little tight, but I think it must be cutting off the oxygen to your pretty little head. We are not nothing.” “Listen closely, Ansyn Turlock,” Rey declared, point a finger at him. Whatever we are, it is no one’s business, but our own. As far as my students are concerned, and that includes you, there is nothing going on. Now, I expect you to tow that mark like a Jedi gentlebeing.” Ansyn raised his eyebrows in thinly veiled ‘you are crazy, lady’ form and tried his most endearing smile. “Yes, ma’am,” he said. “Just be sure you don’t take me for the mat muts. I’m not a kid, big or small.” “It’s times like these that make me wonder,” Rey replied, the edge still permeating her voice. “Can we get out of here? Now.” “I know you don’t enjoy the fancy places, but I wanted to show you my appreciation. You know, do something nice for you. Which also meant getting away from the mat muts. We could use some us time you know.” Rey’s eyes narrowed further as she shrugged her shoulders and stretched her arms in the gown Ansyn had provided. “If you wanted to show me a nice time, a cantina would have sufficed. Even a street vendor would have been better than this.” “Yeah…street vendors…no,” he replied, scrunching his nose and shaking his head in obvious disgust. She looked at him, her frustration shading into a disbelieving anger. Suddenly, her mouth was agape and her cinched eyebrows were fully furrowed. Try as he might, Ansyn could no longer see his peaceful princess. The woman before him was like a fish out of water, all gangly arms scratching itches she never previous knew could exist. It was beginning to be as painful and embarrassing for him as it was for her. He regarded her discomfiture and heaved a sigh recognizing his error. She looked radiant even when frustrated and he could not help but reach for her hand during one of her awkward stretches. “I’m sorry, Rey,” he said genuinely, as he stroked her hand, lightly. “My excitement got the best of me. This is how I would have treated a lady in my old life. I should have known better than put you in this position.” Rey’s eyes hardened. “Are you suggesting I can’t handle myself among the wealthy; that I’m not sophisticated enough?” “Rey, darling,” he said meeting her eyes. He looked into them trying to convey his sincerity. He kept them locked until he saw hers soften. “That is the farthest thing from the truth. I think it’s time we get out of here. I don’t think the Jedi budget could afford it anyway.” “Ansyn-” she began chide. He stood from the table and offered her his arm. She was exquisite in a dark grey gown that hugged her curves more tightly that she would have liked, but suited him just fine. “Just a joke, My Dear,” he replied, grinning. “I think there is a food truck a few spires from her. Nothing like ‘sky kill’ to whet the appetite. We should probably change clothes. It might clear your head a bit.” The Jedi Master took his arm and whispered into his ear: “I have half a mind to clean the floor with you at the moment.” He smiled mischievously and retorted: “Half a mind, indeed.” Deliberately ripping the gown, Rey raised a leg to stealthily, yet purposefully kick him in the bum. That was fine with him. It was the kind of act of endearment that softened the older man’s heart. She grabbed his arm and held on tight as they exited the restaurant.