Beyond - Legends Focusing Lens: An Initiate Journal (OC Lens Eli)-Replies 6/28/09!

Title: Focusing Lens
Author: brodiew
Timeframe: Post LOTF
Characters: OC Lens Eli, Ben Skywalker, OC Kayla Bix, OC Wookiee Shorntaka, Tionne
Summary: Lens is attempting a journal at the suggestion of Master Tionne in order to focus his thoughts and feelings. Friends, hijinks, drama, angst, and adventure ensue...
Notes: I have never writtend a personal journal in RL so this is truly and experiment. I'm going to give it a try. I'm going to DO it. You're comments are welcome.


Hello. My name is Lens Eli and Master Tionne is making me write this journal. Okay, not making me, but heavily suggesting that it would be a good way to focus my thoughts and reflect on my daily life. I have to admit, I?m not really that interested in looking back. I?d prefer to live in the moment. There is a lot of pain in the past; pain I?d rather not dwell on. Master Tionne and I have worked on some that stuff, but, I don?t like talking about things I had no control over.

I was left as a baby on the steps of the Jedi Temple. Weird enough on its own, right? Not so much. Babies are left on the temple steps now and again, but none have ever turned out to be Force sensitive. My mother must have known. Another mystery of my existence.

Nevermind that. I?m not sure why I even mentioned it. The very paragraph above said I don?t like to talk about it.

Let?s see. Ben is mad at Jysella about something. He hasn?t told me yet, but he will.

By the way, Ben Skywalker is my best friend and Jysella Horne is his girlfriend. As long as we?re talking bout friends and girlfriends, I?ll fill you in on the rest of our little group. My girl friend is Kayla Bix. And, our fifth, but no less important member is the Wookiee Shorntaka a.k.a. "Shorty" because he's so dang tall.

Wait a minute. Who am I writing this for? Posterity? Master Tionne? Are these my private thoughts or an assignment? I?m sure I?ll work out the voice sooner or later. Master Tionne said she wants to review my weekly, monthly, or even sporadic entries. If it had been anyone else wanting to review my private writings, I probably would have rejected the entire idea. But Master Tionne is my friend. I know she cares about me.

 

I was left as a baby on the steps of the Jedi Temple. Weird enough on its own, right? Not so much. Babies are left on the temple steps now and again, but none have ever turned out to be Force sensitive. My mother must have known. Another mystery of my existence.

I like the way this is starting off!

 

again, great writing brew. you've always managed to create interesting OC's. great job man.

keep me updated, if you don't mind.

:snoopy

 

Lovely to see Lens writing in a diary. Please can you PM me?

 

This looks like it will be a lot of fun, brodiew! This entry was great!

I like the reason you gave for him to be writing this journal... very creative!

I'm looking forward to reading more!

If you are doing a PM list would you put me on it?

 

Vaderlvr64: Thanks, Vadey. It?s good to see you here. I?m off to a good start, but I guess we?ll see where it goes form here.

Trimaj: I appreciate the compliment, trimaj. It?s good to see you active again.

earlybird-obi-wan: Thank you, earlybird. I?m glad you?re here. You know a bit of Lens already.

mavjade: Thanks mavjade. Buckle up. This will be an interesting ride.


Hello again. Making the time to write journal has been quite a challenge, but I promised Master Tionne so here I am. I?ve always bee good at expressing myself verbally, but this writing thing is more work than I would ever volunteer to do. Master Tionne said that writing in a journal is just like talking. She said I could talk to myself or to her or to anonymous future readers. The point is to write; to get something on the data pad.

In that case, Ben is still keeping his mouth shut about Jysella. I guess that?s ok. She is his girlfriend after all. He has every right to keep their private business secret. I was just hoping he?d tell me. He?s let me in on a plenty of stuff before. We talked about his mother?s death, how his father got really quiet and distant. We even talked about sex. But, that was too weird. Needless to say, I?m a little stumped by his reluctance.

If I really wanted to make him mad, I could always go ask Jys myself. But, there again, I would be taking my life in my own hands. Jysella has quite a temper. Not, in a way that would lead her forever down the path of the Dark Side or anything, but she can often times come off as hyper sensitive. No, that sounds harsh too. Perhaps, it?s just that she is more reserved that me. She doesn?t like to ask obvious questions. She?wait a minute. That really doesn?t sound like her at all. I guess what I?m getting at is that she doesn?t like my clowning very much. Hey, I tried putting it on her, but the Force just won?t let lie to myself?or you. The reason she doesn?t like my clowning is because she takes herself entirely too seriously. There, I let us share the responsibility.

Wasn?t I talking about Ben? How did I get sidetracked on to Jys? I guess it?s the nature of this writing thing.

 

OOPS!

 

Lovely distracted by a girl All boys are.

nice update

 

earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks. I appreciate you reading this. This is taking place before Lens is taken as an apprentice. So i hope most of it will be YJK-esque fun, with a little angst and a dash of drama.

 

Ack! Somehow I missed this update! Sorry!

It was great!

I wonder why Ben didn't tell him about Jys??

But, there again, I would be taking my life in my own hands. Jysella has quite a temper.
I loved this! Of course she has a temper... look at who her parents are!


I look forward to reading more!!

 

mavjade: Right you are about Jys's parent. It's the Horn temper. Thanks for reading. I appreciate you giving my OC a chance.


It?s been a few days. Nothing has changed. IT?S DRIVING ME CRAZY! Needless to say, I?m not handling Ben?s silence very well. It?s appears the silent treatment has now grown from Jys to everything. I?m really stumped. I?m nervous. Both Kayla and Master Tionne say I should just give him time, but this is so not normal between Ben and me. Plus, I have no idea what its about? That's the maddening part.

Kayla and I went walking in the atrium this morning. She knows how much this is bugging me.

Speaking of bugging me, this journal only serves to keep the feelings fresh. At least that?s how I feel right now. Master Tionne said I could channel my feelings into the journal. You know, like a catharsis. I learned that word recently from Master Solusar. Well, it?s not working! I want to hit something!

Okay, I had a moment to cool off. Did I hit something? No. But I kicked my bunk pretty hard and now my foot hurts.

A week of this mess is enough. I?m going to talk to Jys.

 

Aww... poor guy! I wonder why Ben won't talk to him at all??

...this journal only serves to keep the feelings fresh. At least that?s how I feel right now.
An interesting insight... I can see how that could happen!

Great entry!

 

I like this OC.

 

mavjade: Thanks, Mavjade. Finding out what is causing Ben's behavior will be the first mini-arc in my journal. It won't stretch too long.

Sock_who_runs_amuck: Thanks, Sock. I' glad you're enjoying Lens. I hope you'll stick around.


I talked with Jysella today. It went better than I thought, though our usual tension was there. I found her in the cafeteria. She was eating alone. This was strange because she usually ate with Ben. That?s not to say that they are constantly joint at the hip, but the sight of her alone was weird. I approached tentatively.

?Hey, Jys,? I said, casually. ?What?s going on?? I said down across from her, letter her know it wasn?t a fly by.

She frowned and her eyebrows slowly furrowed. Her green eyes bore into mine making me uncomfortable as it normally did. I fought the urge to leave. She hadn?t even said anything. I wasn?t going to let her intimidate me. Her next words surprised me.

?Why aren?t you and Ben talking?? she asked, pointedly.

?Really?? I replied, a little incredulous. ?This has been going on for a week and you wait for me to come to you to ask me that??

?Cut the ?poor me? act, Lens. He?s acting weird with me too.?

?You two aren?t talking??

?It?s not that bad yet, but he?s distant and moody.?

?He?s always been moody, Jys.?

The fingers of her left hand balled into a fist and she narrowed her eyes. This was Jysella?s ?I don?t suffer fools lightly? routine. About half the time, she sees me as a fool.

?I know my boyfriend, Lens. This is more than his general moodiness.?

I lowered my eyes. ?I know. But it doesn?t make sense. I have no idea what it?s about. Has he said anything that would give you a clue??

She blew out a tense breath. He shoulders slumped a little bit. ?I?m not sure, but I think the whole thing has something to do with me? and you.?

I blinked. ?What??

I've written enough for now. My wrist is aching from the use of the stylus. You might be wondering why I'm not dictating this. Ask my Master.

 

Very interesting... Ben is acting weird with Jys too. Hmm...

Is Tionne making him write out his journal instead of dictating?? How mean!

Her green eyes bore into mine making me uncomfortable as it normally did. I fought the urge to leave. She hadn?t even said anything. I wasn?t going to let her intimidate me.
Loved this! He must be a pretty tough guy to withstand that!

Great update! I'm eager to read more!

Thanks for the PM!

 

I've written enough for now. My wrist is aching from the use of the stylus. You might be wondering why I'm not dictating this. Ask my Master.

old fashioned writing yes but that's with a diary Lens.

Nice update

 

nice job again brew. sorry i haven't kept up so far, wasn't really online much this last week.

methinks i know what ben's problem is, but i'll reserve judgement for now.

thoroughly enjoying this, and i must admit lens is becoming alive with each post. more solidified. good work.

and thanks for the PM.

:snoopy

 

Mavjade: Thanks, Mavjade. Your support here is very encouraging. Yes, Master Tionne is making him write it long hand. The boy needs a little discipline. Ben?s behavior will become clear soon. I?m also glad you like the Lens and Jysella characterizations.

earlybird-obi-wan: Hey, earlybird. Thanks for continuing to read. You're right. A data pad diary might be easily hacked.

Trimaj: Thanks for stopping in, Snoop. I?m pleased you think Lens is coming more alive each post. There is more Lens out there. Let me know if you?re interested.


Where was I. Oh, yeah. So Jys explained her fears in the broadest possible strokes. I imagine she didn?t want to attribute anything to Ben that she couldn?t prove. Still the implication that Ben?s behavior was somehow related, specifically, to Jysella and me was unnerving. We don?t have much contact outside the group and are NEVER alone together. Ok. Never say never. I just shared part of a lunch with her. But, moments like that are exceptions.

What about the two us, Jysella and I, could be causing Ben?s cold shoulder? You may notice I?m repeating things. It's no mistake. It?s my way thinking out loud?on data pad.

Have we agreed on something recently where he had a different opinion?

Did I get into a class with Jys that he didn?t make the cut? That?s ridiculous. He?s the Grandmaster?s son.

Did Jys or I steal his thunder in some way?

Was he embarrassed by Jys or I recently?

Did I make a wise crack that offended him? This is possible. I make wise cracks. It?s one of my ?things?. Part of my winning personality or cover for my abandonment issues? Ask my Master. But, I?m usually pretty careful not to say hurtful things. You don?t win friends and influence people by being mean. What could I have said?

There is something obvious, here; something I don?t want to say or write because it is so utterly preposterous that I wouldn't waste breath and wrist motion to write it. This is a diary, though, right? My thoughts here are my own?and Master Tionne?s. I?m sure you?ll have something to say about this is in our next meeting, Master.

Maybe, I looked at Jysella the wrong way. Or, maybe she looked at me in a way that made Ben jealous. There is no challenging that Jys is smokin? hot, but so is my GIRLFRIEND, Kayla. The very thought that Ben isn?t talking to me because he thinks I have feelings for Jys or visa versa, makes me tired. He KNOWS Jys and I but heads regularly. He?s known that from the beginning.

Could it be that he saw something; some look that has fed his paranoia? I hate using that word. Could he possibly think that our strained friendship is a front for a secre-

 

It really freaks me out that he cut off right in the middle of word!!
What happened?!?!
You're killing me here, brodiew! Killing me!

I feel so bad for Lens... he's beating himself up over this, poor guy! I just want to give him a hug!

It's no mistake. It?s my way thinking out loud?on data pad.
I loved this! Partially because I do the same thing! LOL!

Awesome update!!
*looks around* Is there more yet??

 

so i'm snoop now, eh?

very well may be interested in some more... link me via PM, and i'll get to it when i have the chance.

good update my friend. ben just walked in i'll bet. or kayla, one of the two.

ben's jealous of them, because he thinks that the butting heads is a mating kinda deal. like pulling hair when younger, and all that. guess i'll be finding out sooner or later...

PM when you update again. *bows* great job man.

:snoopy

 

Loved that update, boys will be boys, thinking about a girl

 

mavjade: I'm glad you're so into this, mav. Lens is a good guy and he values frienship above most everything else. This is really eating him up. Read on!

trimaj: ok, not sure about snoop. Maybe back to just trimaj. Regardless, I'm glad you're hear. It's possible that the 'hair pulling' you mentioned is on target, but there might be something else in the mix that Lens is as yet unaware...

earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks for reading, earlybird. I appreciate your 'loyalty' to Lens.



Sorry to leave you hanging like that. I was all hot to get tell Ben that his delusions were stupid and unfounded when, just as I opened the door, I ran smack into Master Tionne. The woman must be able to read my mind! Scratch that. She CAN read my mind; or, at least my emotions. Given how tense I was, she must have made her way here quickly.

?Where are you going, Lens?? she asked in her musical tone.

I turned around immediately, hiding my face from her scrutinizing eyes. It wasn?t because I did anything wrong, but sometimes, with her, I feel very vulnerable; like I can?t lie. It?s really frustrating. I want to got confront Ben. I want to get in his face and tell him that this is dumb. I want to knock some sense into him.

You might be wondering why my feelings on this matter are so strong. Ben is my best friend. I know you know that, but there is more. I have abandonment issues. Stang! You know that, too. Regardless, losing Ben would be bad. I know I have Kayla. She is wonderful, but I?ve known Ben since we were kids.

Did I tell you how we met?

Oh yeah, Master Tionne. Anyway, she came into my room and sat on a small sofa near the door.

?Nowhere, Master,? I replied, pitifully. ?Just a walk.?

?Did you have a destination in mind?? she pressed, though passively.

?No,? I lied. Why did I lie to her? She only wants to help. But, I was angry

A small smile lit her face as I dared to meet her soft eyes.

?You?re angry, Lens,? she stated, matter of fact. ?Not a good thing.?

?Yeah so?? I replied, siphoning some of my anger her way. I didn?t like that she could read me so well, so easily.

?Have you been writing in the journal?? she asked, standing and approaching my desk.

I didn?t want to be mad at Master Tionne. ?Yes, but sometimes it makes things worse.?

?Let me see it,? asked, extending a hand for the data pad.

I gave her the journal and waited while she read it. Her expression never changed. The stone face of a Jedi Master. There I go again. Tionne is anything but hard and callous and stoic. She is a master, but a caring one. I feel like I explain that too much. Do I?

She looked up from the pad and gave me an expectant raising of an eyebrow.

?What?? I growled, reflexively. Her peacefulness was irritating.

?You?ve been sitting on this for over a week??

?I?ve been writing in the journal like you asked. I figured we could talk about it at our first meeting.?

?It appears you needed to talk to Ben sooner than that.?

?I discovered the reason for his behavior. I wanted to tell him it?s not true.?

?Are you so sure that jealousy is what this is all about??

?I wracked my brain, Master. It?s the best I could come up with.?

?Think again.?

She said that last line with such emphasis that I didn?t have anything else to add. I was silent.

What else could it be.?

 

yes Lens what is it?

Exiting update

 

could this possibly be during the mess with jacen, by some chance? if so THAT could explain things pretty well, i think.

anyhoo, good update again brew. definitely wanting to read more, and looking forward to when you get more up.

master tionne is indeed one of the easier to get along with characters in the order, which shows how good of a judge of character luke is. i do believe that in the old republic era she likely would have been relegated to the agro-corps, and yet she is one of the most important people in the praxis because of her understanding and such. she may not be powerful, but she is certainly wise.

hurry up with more.

:snoopy

 

Whew! I'm glad the cliff hanger from before wasn't as bad as I was thinking it would be! Of course my imagination always goes to the worst possible situation!

The woman must be able to read my mind! Scratch that. She CAN read my mind; or, at least my emotions.
This cracked me up!!

So does Tionne know what's going on with Ben?? I can see how Lens would think it was jelosy, it would be easy to jump to that conclusion but if it's not that...

Awesome update!!
I can't wait for more!