Saga For the Love of the Queen-Story Completed (7/11) Special Note!!! (7/24)

Dude! Where to start!

Well - how's about style! I think the omniscient voice makes for a wonderful opening. I love how, like the lens of a camera, you start 'overhead' as it were and slowly increase the depth of field until we are with our dear friends again. In accomplishing this you start with the remoter (but fascinating) villains and zoom until we see Ani and Padmé. Then widen the field again to the great master mind.

No mean trick - that.

Content was awesome too! I loved how you handled each character and the plot looks like it's going to be thick! huummm! And I know you'll do something tricky too...

Excellent start Rev

 

Oh, no! So Palpy has Dahlia?!?

Valkin and Dooku are playing a dangerous game.

?When you are cast out for doing what you think is right, only to have the only family you know try to strip away your connection with the Force because they perceive you as a threat ? then you can preach to me your nonsensical platitudes on anger!? Her jaw clenched as she continued. ?You know nothing of the Sith or of the Darkside. They are only concepts to you. What you should worry about is the growing strength of this Dark Lord. It will not be much longer before he will be able to destroy the entire Jedi Order and the galaxy with it ? and yet you still have no idea who or where he is. So, Master Yoda, who truly needs to learn??

Ouch! She doesn't pull any punches, does she?

And it sounds like Padme is growing a little protective, and jealous, of Anakin.

I have a bad feeling about Shmi going back to Tatooine, though.

 

Wow, only the first chapter, and you've already really jumped into the action! Very forboding, especiallly on poor, dear darling Dahlia's part. And I have a bad feeling about trying to keep Obi Wan away. Seeing as he's even closer to Anakin here than in the real prequels, and the little fact that his wife is on the same planet, not to mention probably the same building a good lot of the time, keeping him away could be a slight problem. Having him take a padawan, huh? I wonder who? Very cute, with Anakin's many fangirls! And of course, beyond adorable the way Padme's jealous, but doesn't really want to admit it to herself! You're simply amazing MasterRev!

 

Very cool. I'll add comments later.

 

Great start and thanks for the PM

 

Good post!

Anakin's mother is moving back to Tatooine? Lets hope she can avoid the Tusken Raiders this time.

Can't wait for the next update?

 

i love the fisrt chapter and i'm eager to learn what happens next, so please pm with updates )) thanks!

 

Great start, MasterRev. I really like the slow but sure progress between Anakin and Padme, it's becoming a bigger, more realistic, epic, love story then they ever were in the movies.
I hope that if Shmi gets kidnapped by the tuskens again, they will call Anakin right away, since in the movies she was tortured for a whole month.

Keep up the great work

seeya

 

?You know nothing of the Sith or of the Darkside. They are only concepts to you. What you should worry about is the growing strength of this Dark Lord. It will not be much longer before he will be able to destroy the entire Jedi Order and the galaxy with it ? and yet you still have no idea who or where he is. So, Master Yoda, who truly needs to learn??

That is why the Jedi may fail when the time comes.

Ani's mother moved back to her home planet. Something is telling me that is NOT a good thing in the long run...

 

Wonderful start, I was hoping that Siri would have found the girl by now. I am sure Sidious has some horrible plans for her. Great scene with Anakin and Padme. Thanks for starting a sequel!

 

How do you do it, were only on the first chapter and already your brilliant writing has managed to suck me in, your a genius! I loved absolutely everything about this chapter, so I really don't know were to start, so I'll start from the beginning?..
Dooku, he actually thinks he can deceive Sidious,I suppose treachery is the way of the Sith, I'm just not sure if he will get away with it. Usually I don't have much interest in the Count but the way you write him makes me pay attention to our dear Lord Tyranus.
The Exile, I don?t know if I?ve said this before but I am completely fascinated by her, she is one of the greatest OC I?ve ever read in fan fiction. I loved her exchange with Yoda, its about time someone put that green booger in his place. Don?t get me wrong I adore him, but someone has to make him see, that antiquated code is in desperate need of some changes. She wants Obi to get a new padawan? I?m not sure if that is such a good idea, besides that would mean less time on Naboo with Sabé .
Now for my favorite part...Padme and Ani. How cute, Padme is jealous and the poor girl doesn?t even know it. She need not worry though, Ani only has eyes for her. I love their interaction, the way they know when something is wrong with the other, and how to make it better....

Anakin scoffed loudly as he shook his head. ?Now that?s a frightening thought.?
?What is??
His lopsided grin appeared to fill us entire face as he quipped, ?I never realized how much you sound like Obi-Wan.?
Padmé chortled. ?You know what would really be scary??
?What?? Anakin reluctantly asked.
?If I had his beard.?

PS:Run Dahlia Run!!!

 

Yikes! Great first chapter, Rev! I loved that Ilianya traveled to Coruscant to visit Yoda! Loved their little debate and how she said that the present day Jedi would have destroyed Anakin because they wouldn't have been able to control him. She's closer to the truth than she knows. Interesting.

Padmé's thoughts on Anakin's admirerers had me chuckling. The idea of a chieftain's daughter just showing up out of the blue at the Palace declaring that she was in love with him after one meeting had me cracking up! Poor women, all of them. They've no idea that his heart was lost to his beloved Queen the moment he saw her.

Great job!

AQ

 

And we're off to a fantastic start!

Anakin was already very powerful. The Force moved through him almost too easily. He reminded her, at times too much, of the infamous Revan. Both had unusually strong ties with the Force and Revan was able to accomplish feats, both great and terrible. Ilianya worried whether the same would be true for Anakin.

Ilianya feared for him.


This passage reminded me of Harry Potter when he's told that Voldemort did great and terrible things. Lovely imagery!

 

Thanks to everybody for the wonderful show of support. I truly appreciate it!

Star_Angel:

We got to look into the life of everyone and I loved that.

Glad to hear that. There's a lot of things that are going on in the universe so each chapater will shift focus.

Oh, and I?m just curies, when are you going to update that other fic?

I think you mean Shadows. Well, it's kind of a long story, but essentially I've put that fic on hiatus until I can rethink some key plot points which will be taking it in a different direction from the one I initially intended. Never fear though, I haven't give up on it.

Thanks so much for reading!


Idrelle_Miocovani:

I love the way you write Count Dooku. I can just hear Christopher Lee?s voice saying his dialogue!

Thank you so much. Christopher Lee has one of the greatest voices and I've watched a lot of his old movies in order to get his intonation down. Glad it is being reflected in the writing!

Excellent update, Master Rev! I can?t wait for more!

Thank you so much. More coming soon!


Rocketscientist:

Well - how's about style! I think the omniscient voice makes for a wonderful opening. I love how, like the lens of a camera, you start 'overhead' as it were and slowly increase the depth of field until we are with our dear friends again. In accomplishing this you start with the remoter (but fascinating) villains and zoom until we see Ani and Padmé. Then widen the field again to the great master mind.

You are too kind. Since we are going to be following a wide array of characters, I wanted to be to get into their heads more as they all plot and scheme or feel about others . Also, I wanted a noticeable shift in the storytelling compared to NC in order to show that the child-like wonder from Anakin's POV is quickly disappearing as he is growing up and learning so unpleasant things. I'm really thrilled though that you liked it!

I loved how you handled each character and the plot looks like it's going to be thick! huummm! And I know you'll do something tricky too...

You know how I love those evil cliffes . Never seem to get enough of them.

Thanks so much for reading!


Gina:

Oh, no! So Palpy has Dahlia?!?

Yep. Not looking good for her.

Valkin and Dooku are playing a dangerous game.

Vying for power often is .

Ouch! She doesn't pull any punches, does she?

No and Ilianya's just getting warmed up.

And it sounds like Padme is growing a little protective, and jealous, of Anakin.

Most definitely.

I have a bad feeling about Shmi going back to Tatooine, though.

Oh ye of little faith.

Thanks so much for reading!


DancesWithBlasters:

Wow, only the first chapter, and you've already really jumped into the action! Very forboding, especiallly on poor, dear darling Dahlia's part.

The quiet ease of NC is probably gone for good. Plus, events are now moving quickly in the galaxy, so lots happening. And yes, poor Dahlia is not having a good time of it.

And I have a bad feeling about trying to keep Obi Wan away. Seeing as he's even closer to Anakin here than in the real prequels, and the little fact that his wife is on the same planet, not to mention probably the same building a good lot of the time, keeping him away could be a slight problem. Having him take a padawan, huh? I wonder who?

A major issue that will be dealt with in this story.

Very cute, with Anakin's many fangirls! And of course, beyond adorable the way Padme's jealous, but doesn't really want to admit it to herself!

He's definitely growing up and gaining attention.

Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate your kind support!


Darth_Mongoulus:

Thanks for reading!


G_Anakin:

Great start and thanks for the PM

Thanks and you're welcome!


Astarael:

Anakin's mother is moving back to Tatooine? Lets hope she can av

 

I could have sworn I posted something in response to your latest chapter, but I guess I didn't. Anyway I'll just retype what I thought I already typed here.

So Valkin has a mini-Death Star under construction, methinks this doesn't bode well for our friends. I loved the Anakin/Padme reaction, especially Padme's last comment, it was spot-on. Only thing that I don't like is that Palpatine got his slimy mitts on Dahlia, poor girl's had it rough the last few years. Will Palps try and train her as a Hand? Just curious. I await your next update.

~ The Mormon Jedi

 

JediMormon:

So Valkin has a mini-Death Star under construction, methinks this doesn't bode well for our friends.

I agree, plus Valkin his own motivations, which we haven't fully learned yet .

I loved the Anakin/Padme reaction, especially Padme's last comment, it was spot-on.

Thanks so much. We'll definitely see more of them in the next update .

Only thing that I don't like is that Palpatine got his slimy mitts on Dahlia, poor girl's had it rough the last few years. Will Palps try and train her as a Hand?

And things are about to get worse for her, more or less. We shall see what the Sith Master has in mind for her.

I await your next update.

It will be coming out soon! Thanks for reading!

 

I'm late... but not really!!! 'Cause I got to be there right at the beginning! Oh, the joys of being your betareader...

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and echo everyone else's comments about this story being off to a great start. It really is - and your writing seems to grow stronger and even more compelling with every piece I read. I'm always grateful for you sheer generosity in each post - each post is a long, satisfying chapter that gives me lots to enjoy, to ponder and to wonder about.

I, too loved the conversation between Iliyania (sp? I never can get it right!), whom I adore as a character, and Master Yoda. I'm very interested in the subtle differences I can already see in the relationship between Anakin and Padme - very well done! I'm totally waiting for what happens there. I'm glad that Siri is still looking for Dahlia, although the amount of time it has taken and the new developments are worrying.

Terrific story, JediMasterRev! Thank you for taking the time and trouble to write it! As satisfying as The Naboo Chronicles was, I'm so glad you didn't leave the story there...

So I'll finish by just saying... more?

 

Geo3: I'm late... but not really!!! 'Cause I got to be there right at the beginning! Oh, the joys of being your betareader...

Glad to see you on the new thread .

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and echo everyone else's comments about this story being off to a great start. It really is - and your writing seems to grow stronger and even more compelling with every piece I read. I'm always grateful for you sheer generosity in each post - each post is a long, satisfying chapter that gives me lots to enjoy, to ponder and to wonder about.

Thank you so very much. You have had a profound influence on my writing as I strive to improve so kudos to you as well. I'm glad too that the story has made you think. Hope that will be a continous trend.

I, too loved the conversation between Iliyania (sp? I never can get it right!), whom I adore as a character, and Master Yoda.

Seems everyone like the little green troll being out experienced for once .

Thank you for taking the time and trouble to write it! As satisfying as The Naboo Chronicles was, I'm so glad you didn't leave the story there...

You are too kind. Thank you afor all your help. Hope you continue to enjoy as things develop!

 

Thanks to everyone who is following along. I truly appreciate your support. Here is the next post for your reading pleasures. Hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 2: Acceptance


He felt uneasy.

He knew he shouldn?t, for Jedi were supposed to be immune to such trivial sensations. Padawan learner Jaden Fai, apprenticed to the esteemed Master Yaddle, stared out the viewport of their tiny transport ship in silent deliberation. Although he was normally assigned to the Temple?s archives as an academic Jedi, the Council had sent Yaddle on an urgent mission to a moon in orbit around the former Sith world of Korriban. Jaden was to accompany her. Republic archeologists had unearthed a crypt which raised an unusually high level of anxiety amongst the senior Jedi. The Council had ordered the research team not to remove any of the artifacts, and to wait until they could dispatch their own experts. Yaddle?s and Jaden?s orders were simple: to investigate, and to report immediately any and all findings.

Anything associated with the Sith was becoming a cause for concern. Jaden, like most of the senior padawans, knew of the rumors involving the crisis on Naboo. They had learned how Obi-Wan Kenobi vanquished a Sith Lord despite losing his Master during the battle. The young Jedi Knight had quickly become a living legend amongst the Temple?s many younger residents. What had made him even more fascinating was that instead of following in Master Jinn?s footsteps, Obi-Wan opted to teach at the small Jedi training facility on Corellia. Jaden never admitted to anyone his awe of the man. He hoped to one day meet Obi-Wan Kenobi so they could discuss his experiences.

Perhaps such a famous Jedi should be with them on such an important journey? Even Master Yoda himself had never faced a Sith warrior. And now, an ancient tomb bearing their mark had been discovered. Jaden felt that events were stirring too quickly to be random. Despite his teachers? declarations to the contrary, he knew that the Darkside was obscuring their perception Force with each passing day. If the Sith had indeed returned, the Jedi would be the object of their vengeance.

?Not up to the task, you think we are??

Jaden whirled about to see his diminutive Jedi Master standing behind him with an amused look on her face. ?Of course, my Master. It is just??

Yaddle?s ears rose. ?Yes, used to our books and research, we have become. Always remember, a Jedi?s duty is never static. A lesson for both us, wouldn?t you agree??

?Yes, Master.? Jaden reluctantly admitted.

?More to say, have you?? Yaddle inquired with a knowing glance. ?Something troubles you, I feel.?

?I am? bothered.?

?About the mission??

Jaden shook his head. ?Yes and no. I feel that there is more to this than the Council has said, with all due respect, Master.?

?A burden it is, to hold a mantle of leadership,? Yaddle said solemnly. ?In time you will understand. Trust our judgment, you should. Guided by the Force, the Council is.?

?I know, Master.? Jaden answered with a hint of dissatisfaction in his voice. ?But the problem is that we all can feel the change in the Force.? He paused, giving her an earnest look. ?Something bad is out there. Elusive.?

?So certain are you?? Yaddle questioned, cocking her head to one side. ?Still very young, you are, Jaden. In full control of your feelings and the Force, you are not. Once you learn more, perhaps less ominous the future will seem.?

Jaden forced a smile of acknowledgement before returning his gaze back to the viewport. His bad feeling remained.

**

Even in the shade, the heat was unbearable.

Wiping away the beads of sweet that had accumulated on his forehead, Anakin was amazed that he had forgotten the heat of Tatooine?s twin suns. Yet the thought made him smile since it symbolized how long he had been living on Naboo, away from this wretched sand heap. Kicking back a large gulp of his juice, Anakin grinned in amusement as he watched Cliegg pensively sit at the head o

 

Cool chapter.

 

Anakin scoffed before Cliegg interjected, ?I?m sure he?ll forget all about that datapad when the Whitesuns? show up.?

?Hush, Dad.? Owen warned with a fierce curl of his lip.

Anakin could not help but shoot his soon-to-be step brother a sly grin. ?Oh yes?what?s her name, Owen? The one you like??

?I have no idea what you?re talking about,? Owen muttered as he returned his attention to his datapad.

?It?s their oldest daughter, Beru.? Cliegg offered with a sly smirk.

Aww, poor Owen, are they making fun of you. Well, I?m sure that he can get back on them sooner or later.


And Cliegg, poor guy, he doesn?t think that he is wordy, but I?m glad that Anakin dose.


Siri is right to worry, and now I hope that they find Dahlia soon.

?Sitting on the Council can make one?overly certain at times.?

Absolutely.

?You seem very different. Darker.?

?Perhaps you care to learn this power? To inflict pain on those who have hurt you??

I feel for Dahila, I hope that she won?t turn to the dark side and if she dose, that they find her before it's to late.

?Good and evil are matters of perspective,?

He dose have a point.


Anakin and Padmé are both really sweet and all, but I wish that they could just open up cuz they both feel the same thing for one another, I need some A/P mush .


And what an evil cliffie, please update soon so that I can see how this will go.

Wonderful update and thanks for the pm.

 

Great chapter Rev!

I have to admit that the appearance of Yaddle at the beginning of the chapter surprised me, you don't see her very often. Her apprentice, Jaden Fei, seemed to be a decent kid albeit a tad inexperienced and nervous. This crypt doesn't seem like a very good place, especially since it appears to have already claimed the life of one of the Jedi investigating it.

I liked the interaction you showed between Anakin, Cliegg, and Owen; the light-hearted banter between them was done very well. I liked your wedding scene, especially Anakin's thoughts of Padme throughout it.

Oh no! Did Palps just get Dahlia to become his apprentice or a Hand? Parts of the scene seemed to be reminiscent of the scene in Palps' office during ROTS. Either way, this isn't going to turn out well, for Dahlia or for Siri.

Looking forward to your next update!

~ The Mormon Jedi

 

Although he had a quiet nature, Owen had a rapier-like wit and enjoyed playful barbs at Anakin?s expense. Anakin liked him instantly and the two became fast friends. They shared a common fascination with mechanics and spent their time together during Anakin?s visits to Tatooine fixing the various pieces of farm equipment or harvest droids that filled the Lars? workroom.

Aww? nice! Really nice detail! This and the congenial family scene just before the wedding give such a sense of warmth and togetherness. Lovely.

Siri chuckled softly. ?The code is only the beginning of a Jedi?s wisdom, Ferus, not the end. She giggled briefly. ?Sometimes duty can fall outside its guidelines, which makes us rely on our own judgment.?

?But Master Windu says that the code should always be foremost in our actions,? Ferus recited.

?He has the luxury to believe that,? Siri replied with a wry grin. ?Sitting on the Council can make one?overly certain at times.? Ferus? curious stare quickly told her that he did not get the humor of her observation. ?I know my ways are at times unorthodox, but I hope that doesn?t interfere with what I am trying to teach you.?

Siri- maverick of the Living Force! I love it!

?I am not evil,? she spat as she attempted to sit up. ?I do not harm others.?

?Good and evil are matters of perspective,? he answered in a much softer tone. ?This power you possess could help you achieve all that your heart desires.?

?I want to be with my parents again,? Dahlia cried out. ?That is all I care about.?

?Come with me and I will teach you to use your power to find them,? the man suggested with a wry smile. ?However, you will owe me something in return.?

?Which is?? Dahlia asked suspiciously.

?All in time, my dear,? the man said matter of factly, extending his hand towards her.

Oh, that is SO not fair! Never sign on the dotted line until you?ve read the fine print, child!

Not good. Not good at all.

Anakin hungered and thirsted for Padmé. She was the life-giving breath that filled his soul, and he knew with every fiber of his being that she was his intended one. He had shunned the affections of many others because he would not be disloyal to Padmé. He belonged to her. She possessed his very soul, despite their never having professed their affections.

All in time.

?You are now and forever, husband and wife!? The holy man declared.

Oh, this is such a change from the last story? things are really heating up here! And that last line... while it applies to the scene going on around them, it's an interesting juxtaposition, wouldn?t you say, O author?

I really liked the last scene ? the description of the crypt and Jacen?s feelings about what he was sensing took me straight inside of it.

*rubs hands together * Oh, this is going to be good!

 

Very nice JediMasterRev,


I liked the Anakin/Padme bit, i'm very glad that they have grown closer. A house is only as strong as it's foundation, and they seem to have built a very strong one. I'm also curious to what Master Yaddle was trying to hold back, an evil sith-spirit?
I shall have to keep reading your story, wich i do with great pleasure.


seeya

 

Good post

Thanks for the PM