1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Beyond - Legends Forgiveness- a Jacen Solo Fanfic

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Mira Grau , Aug 20, 2016.

  1. SiouxFan

    SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 6, 2012
    "Nothing of this was true." -- You know, that was always my biggest problem with the whole Caedus thing...the way he believed a vision when he was told from the time he could crawl '...always in motion, the future is...' MY Jacen would have seen it for the lie it was.

    This conversation with himself could almost stand as a one-off story as it is that poignant. I don't know that he can ever forgive himself...Kyp never has. But he can use his guilt to become someone better.
    Force Smuggler and Anedon like this.
  2. Darth Invictus

    Darth Invictus Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Aug 8, 2016
    Speaking of YOUR Jacen Siouxfan have you made any more progress on your fanfic?
    Anedon likes this.
  3. SiouxFan

    SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 6, 2012
    ***hangs head in shame*** No. Only minor edits. ***slinks away***
    Anedon likes this.
  4. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    I´m glad you like it. Jacen´s guilt is defenetly tormenting him, after what he has done his fear and guilt are massive. He defenetly needs to forgive himself.

    Well I guess that goes for all visions the characters in SW have, its only a possibilty and doing extreme things to prevent it will probably make things even worse.
    I´m glad you liked Jacen´s conversation with himself. :)

    Twenty Five

    Gaven raised his lightsaber when he stepped into the shadows. In the glow of the lightsabers the Jedi exchanged a look. The darkness still surrounded them and it only slowly retreated to the light of their weapons. Gaven felt the dark side around him, a hatred far stronger than anything he had ever experienced. Not in the dark days when he had fought the pirates, not in the moment when Nev almost died on Asterian, not even when he had lost control in a fight.

    Carefully he stepped forward and the others followed him. Nobody said a word; they just walked deeper and deeper into the darkness. It was cold here, although not as cold as on some of the ice worlds he had visited. It was a deathly cold, disturbing yet somehow familiar.

    When a breath of wind touched his face Gaven remembered where he had experienced this cold before.

    In the hill graves of Darvin, these old crypts where the locals used to bury their dead. The place where he and Nev had buried their parents as well. He shivered when the memories overcame him.

    "Gaven?" When he turned around he saw the worries on Nev´s face and her sadness.

    "I´m feeling it as well," he whispered. Raising his lightsaber Gaven stepped forward. This was a trick he told himself, an illusion created by the dark side to torment him. He had to be careful here.

    Gaven was the first to see the light. They had walked only for a short moment when suddenly lights appeared ahead of them. It resembled the dead light from the tower, a cold, sick, green light. Again he turned around and exchanged a look with Jacen, and his friend looked as worried as Gaven felt. Fear grew inside him, fear of what had happened to Leah in this place.

    Then he stepped into the light. The dead green glow filled an octagonal chamber. The walls were made out of bleak metal and when he looked up he couldn´t see the ceiling, as the chamber seemed to reach up to the peak of the tower. In the middle of the chamber stood an altar, that resembled the ones Gaven had seen in the old Athenar buildings on Dearan. On the altar he saw her.

    Stepping forward, Gaven made his way to her side and the fear in his heart grew. Leah´s body was cold, her face was pale and her eyes lifeless.

    Gaven started to shiver as he sank to his knees. He couldn´t breathe and tears filled his eyes when as the realization hit him. Leah was dead, his daughter was dead.

    She was gone and it was his fault.

    Memories filled his mind, how he had found Leah in the cabin on Asterian, how brave she had been that day helping him to save Jacen and Nev. Gaven remembered how he had offered to help her become a Jedi and how happy she had been when he agreed to be her master. How excited she had been to visit Coruscant, how much she had admired Jaina. But most of all he remembered her smile, how happy she had been with him and Nev and how much happier she had made him. She had been a light in this dark galaxy, a good person in a bleak world.

    And now was she dead.

    He would never talk to her, never see her smile again, never see how she became a Jedi, the heroine she dreamed of becoming. It was all gone and it was his fault. He had made her his apprentice, he had allowed her to come with them to Mortis. He was the reason his daughter was dead. Gaven knelt in front of his dead apprentice and cried.

    What cruel galaxy was this? Why had a good girl died while he was still alive? He had tried his best to help the people of the galaxy, to heal some of the wounds they had suffered. But it all didn´t matter.

    He felt dead inside. There was nothing good left in this galaxy, only death and despair.

    "It´s your fault." Nev had stepped next to Gaven and looked down on him. "Why did you take her with you? She is just a child, this isn´t her war." The despair in her words was the same Gaven felt in his entire body.

    "I´m sorry," he muttered, his voice nothing but a cracking whisper.

    "You should be. Leah is dead because of you."

    Gaven knew she was telling the truth. He wished he had never offered Leah to become a Jedi, he wished he had left her behind on Coruscant. He wished he had died before he had meet her the first time. He wished his daughter wasn´t dead.

    Gaven, please wake up. He looked up. It was Leah´s voice. He looked up to the corpse of his apprentice in front of him. Was it truly her? "This isn´t real," he muttered as the illusion started to fade.

    Pain floated through his body as Gaven opened his eyes. He coughed, like someone who had nearly drowned but managed the to reach the surface at the last moment. Every muscle in his body hurt as if he had fought for days and his eyes needed a few seconds before he could see something.

    Nev and Leah knelt next to him and they looked terrible. Tears dried on Nev´s face and Leah looked as if she had been tortured but he also saw relief in their eyes. Nev laid her arms around him and held her friend close for a moment.

    "I feared we had lost you."

    "Me too," he answered quietly as he returned her hug. Then he turned to Leah. "Are you okay?"
    She nodded and gave him a weak smile. Still shivering from the vision he returned her smile.
    But then he saw Jacen. Jaina knelt next to her brother and she looked as tormented as Gaven felt.

    Jacen lay on the ground lifeless, with darkness in his eyes.
    Kahara, Chyntuck and BookExogorth like this.
  5. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    Gaven has fallen into his own purgatory of guilt and fear. And the one thing that makes him the most fearful is not only that something should happen ot Leah, but that she should be harmed because of him. He's a good man and he takes on so much responsibility.

    The last scene with Jacen's lying on the ground, his eyes dark and lifeless, is chilling. Will they ever find a way off this planet? Will Jacen finally find the peace he needs?

    Great update!
    Anedon likes this.
  6. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    Gaven defenetly cares greatly for Leah and fears what might happen to her. That she could die because of him is his greatest fear.
    Yeah Jacen is truly going through the hell at the moment. He defently needs some peace.

    Thanks, I´m glad you like the chapter. :)

    Twenty Six

    Jacen looked up to his brother standing above him. Was he real or just another hallucination?

    "I am as real as you are," Anakin replied.

    Jacen sat himself up next to his brother. The tears had stopped and dried on his skin. For a moment Jacen sought for words, words to describe his feelings, to describe the thoughts that ran through his mind.

    "You hate yourself?" his brother asked him.

    Although they both knew the answer, Jacen nodded weakly.

    "More than anything else?"

    Again Jacen nodded. "What I did is unforgivable. I killed so many people, betrayed my family, my friends, I tore the galaxy apart. Because of my own selfish desires. I´m only alive because Jaina still loves the shadow of the boy I was long ago. But that boy is dead. There is no redemption, not for me."

    Anakin looked sadly at his brother. "That´s not true. Everyone can be saved."

    Jacen shook his head. Gaven, Jaina, even Mara they all had told him the same, that he could find redemption for his sins. That he was still a good person, despite the things he had done. Because they saw the hero he had been, not the monster.

    "You are not Caedus anymore," Anakin said quietly, and Jacen knew he was right with that.

    He had broken free from the dark influence on Learan. But had it been an outside influence? Or had the darkness been always a part of himself?

    Anakin laid his hand on Jacen´s shoulder. "You are my brother, there was no darkness inside you when I was alive. And there is none today."

    "But I fell to the dark side." Jacen replied his voice shaking.

    Anakin nodded sadly. "Yes, but you did it to save the galaxy." No, the vision had been a fake, it must have been a fake.

    "It was a possibility." His brother said. "A possible future, something that might have happened or not."

    Jacen thought about this. The Jedi believed that the future was always in motion, that nothing could truly predict what was ahead. But on his travels and in his studies Jacen had seen different things.
    And he had seen the suffering, the state of the galaxy torn apart by one war after the other. He had searched to stabilize it, to bring peace to it. And in the end he had made it worse.

    "You did this for the galaxy, for Allana," Anakin pointed out.

    Jacen shook his head. "That doesn´t excuse anything."

    His brother said nothing for a moment. Then he continued, "Maybe not, but you are not Caedus anymore. You have realized your mistakes and turned back to the light side. You are trying to atone."
    That was true Jacen knew, but...

    "You risked your life to protect that Togruta on the freighter, you managed to resist the dark side on Learan and blew your cover to protect Nev from the Lost Sons. You have shown kindness to the people around you. You acted selflessly as a Jedi should. You´ve said it yourself on Learan. You are a Jedi again."

    Jacen raised his head and looked into his brother´s eyes while he searched for words. Anakin was right, he knew; he wasn´t tainted.

    "Jaina, Gaven and Thorne all have told you that. You should start to believe it. You are a good man."
    Jacen took a deep breath while still trying to order his thoughts. He remembered how Gaven had told him that he could always follow the path of light again. How Jaina had told him that he was the brother she loved and Mara, how she had forgiven him.

    "Our parents named me after our grandfather," Anakin continued. "Darth Vader did horrible things to the galaxy, he betrayed his friends and destroyed the old Jedi order. He tortured mom and dad and nearly killed them. But he returned back to the light for the love of his children. He found redemption, and in the end mom named me after him. After the good man he had been and had become again. Your love for Allana brought you back as well, and your friendship with Gaven has helped you to become a Jedi again."

    Jacen remembered the stories his mom and uncle had told him about Darth Vader, about the Sith Lord but also about his courage and sacrifice. About Anakin Skywalker and his deeds for the Jedi order. And again his brother's words were true. Like Anakin Skywalker, he had returned to the light and become a Jedi again.

    He wasn´t Caedus anymore, he was Jacen Solo again and he was working to atone for his sins. He had found friends, friends who cared for him, friends who trusted him. Friends who needed him. Maybe he should stop lamenting the past and look into the future. He was a Jedi, again a Jedi and he still could do good for the galaxy.

    "Thanks," he muttered and his brother gave him a smile. "I wish you hadn´t died," Jacen said, and sadness overcame him again, the sadness of a brother who had lost a sibling.

    "There is no death, there is only the force." He laid his hand on Jacen´s shoulder, "Don´t blame yourself for what happened on Mykr. It wasn´t your fault but mine. I was too arrogant, too confident in my abilities. I should have stopped to heal as you wanted. You should have commanded the mission."

    Jacen´s heart was filled with sorrow when he thought back to that day, to the friends he had lost there, to the part of himself that had died on the worldship.

    "You saved the Jedi that day," Anakin reminded him. "You did what I couldn´t. And paid a huge price for it." He made a pause, before he continued. "I´m glad you found your way back to the light, brother."

    Jacen managed a weak smile. "Thanks" he muttered again and the brothers hugged. For a moment they remained like this, then the vision started to fade and Anakin disappeared.
    May the Force be with you, brother. Always.
    Dark Ferus, Kahara and Chyntuck like this.
  7. SiouxFan

    SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 6, 2012
    "You saved the Jedi that did what I couldn't. And paid a huge price for it." -- Wow, that is a remarkable statement. To me (and most reading this story), it is the essence of what Jacen accomplished and became. Would that TPTB...and us fans...had remembered that.

    An aside: I just re-read 'Ylesia' for the first time in ages...forgot how cool it was to watch Jacen and Jaina work together -- it was fun to see. Hoping that your story get us back to that!
    Anedon likes this.
  8. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    The best thing about this story is the fact that the change comes from within Jacen. He always had the light in him, he just needed people to believe in him again. The love from his sister and the support from his friends helps him to see the light that's still there.

    This was a really touching chapter, where Jacen literally faces his past when he has this talk with his brother. He needs to know that Anakin Solo doesn't blame him for what happened, otherwise Jacen can't heal from this, and he can never move on.

    Another great chapter, Anedon! :)
    Anedon likes this.
  9. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    I´m glad you like the chapter. It defenetly was huge price Jacen paid.
    Yeah Ylesia is one of my favourite Ledgends stories as well, seeing Jacen and Jaina fighting together is just the coolest thing for me in SW. We will defenetly get back to that. ;)

    Yeah exactly, Jacen found his way back to the light by himself. He made the decisision to become Jacen again and to embrace the light again. But due to his massive guilt and self hatred he wasn´t able to accept that, until his friends finally managed to convice him. I´m glad you like it.
    Thanks :)

    Twenty Seven

    Jacen stared across the dark valley back towards the tower. The sick green light was still shining in the sky above them and dark whispers filled the air. The dark presence he had felt when he had first entered the valley was still here, just driven back for the moment.

    After his vision had started to fade away he had woken up on the large staircase of the Tower where the others had brought him, hoping it would help him get out of his dark dreams. His whole body still hurt and he felt as if he had fought all the battle of his life on a single day. But they had known that they couldn´t stay in the shadow of the dark fortress and so they had dragged themselves back across the dark grounds, back to the mountain passes that cut through the outer ring of the valley.

    Every muscle in Jacen´s body burned as he leaned himself against the dark stone for a moment. Gaven didn´t looked much better and Jacen felt how his friend struggled to stay on his feet. Nev who hadn´t suffered any visions looked better as she helped Leah climb atop the small plateau they were resting on for a moment. Jacen exchanged a quick look with Jaina. She was in a better condition than he was, but whatever she had experienced in the tower had shaken her as well.

    "We can´t rest here," Gaven said after a moment and Jacen knew he was right with that. The dark side was strong around here and if they stayed it might try again to attack their minds. "Can you walk?" the older Jedi asked Jacen.

    Jacen nodded and stood up again. He followed his friend and they left the plateau and entered the pass. As soon as they left the dark valley walking became easier for Jacen. He felt that with every step he made out of this sinister place the pain that floated through his body became weaker. His mind calmed down as well as he remembered the vision and what Anakin had told him.

    When he looked up he saw Jaina next to him. Jacen gave his sister a weak smile before he asked, "What happened while I was passed out?"

    Jaina returned the smile. Then she answered, "Gaven and I had a vision as well, I... I saw you... You betrayed us, you became Caedus again and slew Gaven and Nev before turning on me."

    She made a pause and Jacen felt her pain as she spoke about it. "Jaina..." he said, hoping to comfort her.

    "It wasn´t real, I realized that almost immediately. It was just a dark side trick. You are Jacen Solo and not Darth Caedus." Again Jacen felt thankful for the trust his sister had in him, even after all that had happened between them.

    "Once I realized that I woke up, inside the tower. Both you and Gaven laid on the ground and I felt the pain you went through. Nev was kneeling above Gaven. She was immune to the dark influence, I think, because she has no connection to the force. Together we tried to wake Gaven and you but we had no successes.

    "Then we heard Leah. She must have felt our presence in the tower and was calling for help. We found her close by chained to the wall in a cell. After we had freed her we returned to Gaven and you. Leah´s presence seemed to help Gaven break free from his torment, but you remained unconscious, so decided to carry you out of the tower hoping it could help you."

    Jacen thought about this for a moment. He was glad that they all had made it out of the tower alive. The siblings walked silently next to each other for the next few minutes. Then Jacen said, "I´ve seen myself. Not Caedus, but myself. My own self hatred and guilt. I told myself again of all the mistakes I´ve made, of all the things I did. And it broke me."

    He paused and when he looked up to Jaina again, he saw worries in her face and sadness.
    "And then I saw Anakin again. He was there and he helped me. He told what you and Gaven have told me for years now, that I´m not Caedus anymore, that I became Jacen again, again a Jedi..."
    He made another pause.

    "And I realized that he was right, and that you and Gaven were right as well. I´m not this monster anymore, I am Jacen Solo. I´ve friends that love me and care for me. I can still do good for the galaxy, I can be a Jedi again and I can find redemption for what I have done. And I can begin to forgive myself." When he looked up to Jaina again he saw a smile on her face.

    "I felt that something changed with you in this tower. You feel more at peace with yourself. I´m glad you were able to make peace with your past." Jacen felt her joy over this as much as his own.
    When he looked ahead he saw that the walls on both sides ended in a few meters, where Gaven waited for them. When they reached him they saw another valley below them. A small pathway led down into a forest.

    "This is not the way we came," Jaina pointed out.

    Gaven nodded. "No but this place is so weird I´m not surprised. Maybe the force is guiding us here. But we have no other choice, except going back to the tower."

    Tired and worried for another trap, Jacen and the others slowly walked down the path towards the forest below them. It wasn´t the first forest they had seen on Mortis but it felt more natural, more real than the ones they had passed on their way to the tower.

    The trees reminded Jacen of Yavin, of the woods around the academy. Night had fallen over the them but Jacen saw myriads of small lights, dancing between trees. They reminded him of the bugs he had captured in his youth, some of them had fluoresced and filled his room at the academy in a similar light.

    He felt safe here, safe and protected. This wasn´t a place of darkness like the dead valley behind them. This place was filled with light and Jacen felt the light side around him.

    When he was convinced that he couldn´t go another step further they reached a glade. He sat down on the grass in the same moment as Jaina.

    "We should rest here," she said. "This place is protected by the light side. I think we are safe."

    When Jacen concentrated on the force around them he knew that Jaina was right. There was no danger around him, this was a place of healing, a place of peace. Laying down on the grass he felt the warmth of the forest and the presences of his friends surrounding him.

    For the first time since many years Jacen Solo was at peace with himself.
    Kahara and Chyntuck like this.
  10. SiouxFan

    SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 6, 2012
    "For the first time in many years, Jacen was at peace with himself." Nice way to end this chapter...liked the talk between Jaina and's like they have finally opened up with each other again.
    Anedon likes this.
  11. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    The group has come through such a horrible ordeal. It's reassuring that they are someplace safe at last! I think it's cool how not only does the darkness take a mental toll on them, it takes a physical one too. They struggle to go on, as if the dark place somehow fed on them, and would never let them go if they didn't make an effort to get out. But most the important thing of all is that they do it together.

    In fact, I think that the most important thing that this whole story shows us. The only way they survive is together. They literally need each other. Without the love of friends and family, you are lost, as Jacen was lost when he fell to the dark side. Nobody can achieve anything all alone.

    Great update, as they start the next part of their adventure.
    Anedon likes this.
  12. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    Thanks, I´m glad you enjoyed it. :)
    Jacen has defenetly struggled with his own darkness and self hatred for a long time. Now that he has finally started to forgive himself he can finally find peace. And continue rebuilding his relationship with Jaina.

    I think Jacen pushing his friends away more and more in the time after the Vong war, along with them in return turning their backs on him was probably what lead to him become Darth Caedus. After Jaina spared his life it was the honest and true friendship of Gaven, Nev, Leah and Jaina herself that saved him, that allowed him to heal. And this between them friendship allowed the group to resist the darkside and stay alive on Mortis.

    Twenty Eight

    When Jacen awoke he saw the sun of Mortis above him shining through the branches. Today it seemed to have a brighter yellow. For a moment Jacen closed his eyes again and thought about the events the day before.

    He remembered the long journey to the dark valley and what had awaited them there. The darkness and the visions and Anakin... Sadness overcame him again when he thought back to his brother. Even after his death he still saved me.

    This night he hadn´t dreamed of the past. He hadn´t found himself in his cell, nor had he been Caedus again. Instead he had a peaceful dream, a dream in which he had wandered through the Jedi temple, alone but surrounded by the force. In the end he had found her there, Allana. She was older than he remembered her, reminding him of the five years that had passed since he saw her the last time. Tears had filled his eyes as he looked at her, tears of both joy and sadness. He had stood there unable to say a word or move a muscle. Then his daughter had turned around to him and smiled. And with her smile all sorrow had left Jacen.

    He was still watching her in his dream when he heard a voice.

    "You are awake."

    When Jacen opened his eyes again he saw Gaven sitting next to him. Jacen sat up and his eyes searched across the glade towards the others. Glad that no one had disappeared during the night, he gave Gaven a weak smile.

    "How are you feeling?" his friend asked him.

    Jacen said nothing for a moment as he remembered the dream again. "I´m doing better, I´m feeling more at peace with myself."

    Gaven returned the smile. "Jaina has told me what happened yesterday. We talked a bit after you went to sleep. I´m glad you have finally accepted who you are."

    "Without you I hadn´t," Jacen said, thankful for Gaven´s aid and their friendship.

    "How do you think shall we continue our search for the dagger?" Gaven asked Jacen and Jaina a few minutes later, as the four Jedi and Nev were preparing to leave the glade.

    "I think we should continue following the path," Jaina said. "This planet is impossible to navigate, but I think the force is directing us to the dagger."

    "Like it directed us to the Tower?" Jacen said while he shivered at the memory.

    Jaina shrugged. "Maybe we needed to go there. Or maybe the dark and light have different plans for us. Do you have a better plan?"

    Jacen shook his head. It was dangerous, he knew, to once again blindly walk down the path the planet was showing them, but they had no other choice. Getting lost on Mortis could have terrible consequences.

    The path continued through the forest and Jacen felt more and more reminded of Yavin. This place felt so similar to the woods surrounding the academy that Jacen wondered if they might find a crashed TIE Fighter in one of the trees.

    He turned to Gaven. The older Jedi had never seen the academy as he had joined the order years after is destruction. "Does this forest feel familiar to you?" Jacen asked.

    He saw confusion on his friends face for a moment.

    Then Gaven replied. "It reminds me of the forest on Dearan, near the old Athenar ruins. Nev and I once stayed there at Forefathers´ Eve." Nev nodded in agreement.

    Jaina and Leah walked a few meters ahead of them and were engrossed in a serious conversation. From what Jacen could hear they talked about the visions Leah had received in the tower.
    "What do you see?" Nev asked him.

    "The forests of Yavin 4, were the old Jedi academy was located before it was destroyed by the Vong. I spent half of my childhood there, training, exploring the woods, catching bugs..." As the talked about it Jacen´s memory returned to these days. These events were so far away that it felt as if they had happened to someone else in a younger age of the universe.

    "Is this the force as well?" Gaven wondered. "That it shows us a place where we feel safe and at home?"

    "I guess so," Jacen replied, but he wasn´t concentrating on Gaven.

    His thoughts were still in the past as the remembered the adventures he had with Jaina, Anakin, Lowie, Lusa, Raynar and... Tenel Ka. They had been so happy back then but now... Anakin and Lusa were dead, he had burned Lowie's homeworld to the ground, he and Jaina had nearly killed each other and Tenel Ka...

    Pain overcame him as he thought back to her. To the moment where she had called him a monster over Kashyyyk and the one time she had visited him in his cell. I`ve told my daughter you are dead and I wish that hadn´t been a lie. This had been the only thing she had said to him, to the boy she once considered a friend, to the man she had loved.

    He felt a hand on his shoulder and was surprised it was Nev´s. "What pains you so much Jacen?" "I... I remembered Tenel Ka, what I did to her... what she said to me. She sees me as a monster." Tears left his eyes as he again heard Tenel Ka´s words in his mind.

    "She does not," Gaven said softly. Jacen looked up to him. "I met her, on Hapes shortly after our first mission together. She didn´t show many emotions, but I felt she was worried about you and glad to hear that you are Jacen again."

    Relief floated through Jacen´s mind. Tenel Ka didn´t hate him anymore. Maybe, one day he could earn her forgiveness for what he had done to her and Allana.

    While they continued their walk along the path, Jacen told Gaven and Nev about the vision he had in the tower and his conversation with Anakin, while Gaven told him about his.

    Later, after hours, at least it felt like, the forest came to an end. Ahead of them was another valley that cut deeper into Mortis surface than the one they had passed before. But this place wasn´t dark like the dead valley around the tower, nor filled with light like the forest they had come through. Instead Jacen felt balance in this place. Both light and dark surrounded them but restrained not fighting.

    At the center of the valley stood a building made out of grey stone. It reminded Jacen of a monastery, like the ones he had seen on his travels. He felt a strong force presence from the place and something else.

    Instinctively he knew that this was the place they were searching for. Here they would find the Dagger of Mortis.
    Kahara and Chyntuck like this.
  13. BookExogorth

    BookExogorth Force Ghost star 4

    May 4, 2017
    A chapter with TK! How nice. I am glad that you've finally opened the door for their reconciliation.
    Mortis is an interesting setting, and I like how you're using it. Also, you still write Jacen well.
    Anedon likes this.
  14. SiouxFan

    SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 6, 2012
    Like BookExogorth, I would LOVE to see a Tenel Ka reunion in this!

    Interesting that all of our travelers 'feel' different places when walking around. Thanks for the update!
    Anedon and BookExogorth like this.
  15. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    Thanks, I´m glad you still enjoy it. :)
    Tenel Ka still cares for Jacen and they defenetly will see each other again.

    Yeah like the tower confornted them with their own worst fears this forrest is showing them a place were they feel comfortable. Gaven and Nev are remined of the forrest where they once danced with each other while Jacen is remined of his childhood, before all the dark things happened.

    Twenty Nine

    The sun was already sinking towards the horizon when the four Jedi and Nev reached the monastery. The path through the valley had been like all they had traveled on Mortis before, long and short at the same time.

    Jacen had long since abandoned any sense of time on this surreal place. This wasn´t a planet, nor a living being like Zonama Sekot, it felt more like a dream. A dream that could shift between being beautiful or a nightmare in mere moments. But this valley was different, here was no chaos but order. Peace between light and darkness. Jacen remembered what Thorne had told them about Mortis, about the family that had lived here, how the Sons´ darkness and the Daughters´ light had been balanced by the Father. They had seen the dark fortress of the Son, and in the forests behind them the Daughter´s influence had protected them. Jacen wondered if this place the monastery had been the Father´s domain.

    He looked up to the massive gates of the building. They were huge, higher than even the ones in the dark tower. But they were closed, guarding whatever was inside. For a moment the five humans stood there, and felt the age and power of this place. This building had been the home of a god, a being far more powerful than they could even imagine. Nobody said a word as they admired the sheer presence of this place.

    Then Jaina stepped forward, cautious, ready to defend herself. Jacen stepped next to her and together they laid their hands on the grey stone of the gate. Slowly and without a noise the two leaves swung inside, opening the way.

    Behind it, Jacen saw a courtyard, surrounded by the outer walls of the monastery. Slowly the group stepped across the threshold and into the short tunnel that led into the courtyard. The tunnel was dark and the echo of their steps followed them as they walked through it. Symbols were carved into the walls, the ceiling and even the ground below them.

    They reminded Jacen of the Phaeron on Learan and for a moment he was transported back to the dark temple where they had meet Thorne for the first time. But the Phaeron had been a dead place, abandoned by even the force. Here the force was present surrounding them with every step they made deeper inside.

    When they entered the courtyard Jacen saw that night had fallen over the planet and he could see the stars above them, though as with all things they had seen on Mortis even they seemed unnatural, cold and distant. For a moment he asked himself how long they had stayed in the Tunnel. It had only been a few meters but here at least an hour seemed to have passed. He shook his head and again realized the sheer insanity of Mortis.

    The courtyard was huge and paved with blocks of the same grey stone the rest of the building was made of, and empty. There were no plants or benches, nothing but grey stone. And there in the middle of the yard he saw it.

    Something was lying there on the ground, as if someone had dropped it. Jacen felt the presence of the artifact in the force, the same presence he had felt when they had entered the valley and seen the monastery for the first time.

    Almost against his will he walked closer towards it and the others followed him. The artifact was calling for him and Jacen felt how it pulled him closer and closer towards it. When he came closer he saw it for the first time, the reason they had come to this world, the reason the Jedi had released him from his cell a second time, the artifact that could save the galaxy:

    The dagger of Mortis.

    It was plain, almost disappointing for a weapon made to kill a god. The blade itself was made out of a dark metal not unlike the one the dark tower was made of, the hilt seemed to be made of bone without any ornaments. Yet Jacen felt the power of the weapon, the sheer presence of it in the force. This weapon would give its wielder power, the strength to destroy his enemies. Jacen felt the influence on his mind and a part of him wanted to kneel down and take it.

    But he stopped himself and fought against the desire that had filled his mind. The others stopped around him as well and Jacen felt that they fought against the same influence that filled his mind.

    The blade could give him immense power, he knew. If he would take it, he could use it to protect the galaxy, to undo the damage he had caused. He could become a hero again and create a new era of peace for the galaxy. He could protect Allana against any danger that could ever threaten her. And all he needed to do was to kneel down and take the dagger. For a moment he saw it before him, a peaceful galaxy healed from the wounds that the Empire, the Vong and Darth Caedus had left behind, Tenel Ka smiling at him, and a happy Allana who looked up towards her father.


    Jacen shook his head and fought against the images in his mind. It was a lie he knew, the weapon would corrupt him, turn him into a monster worse than even Caedus had been. Jacen had lost his path before, he had done terrible things to protect his daughter. He wouldn´t do it a second time.

    He resisted the lure of the dagger and the images left him, but some of the influence of the temptation remained.

    He looked at the others. Gaven had placed his hand on Leah´s shoulder and spoke quietly to her, while Jaina seemed to fight the same desires that he had. Jacen´s look met Gaven´s for a moment and the two Jedi exchanged a nod. When he turned around he saw Nev standing a few meters behind them and he saw worries on her face, worries and confusion.

    "You don´t feel it?" he asked her, as she walked closer towards them.

    "No, there is something here, at the edge of my perception but nothing tangible. It´s influencing you isn´t it?"

    Jacen nodded and turned around to the others. Leah had taken a few steps back while Gaven and Jaina inspected the blade carefully. Jacen gave Leah a supporting smile and stepped next to his sister.

    The three Jedi knights kept silent for a while, thinking about how to continue. Thorne had warned them that the dagger might try to influence their minds but Jacen hadn´t expected it to be this strong. But one of them had to take it.

    He exchanged a quick look with Jaina and Gaven, and Jacen felt how both of them were again fighting against the influence of the dagger.

    Slowly his sister kneeled down and reached for the dagger, Jacen felt its dark influence attacking her mind and laid his hand on her should to give her strength.

    When Jaina´s hand clasped around the hilt, Jacen felt its strength pulling on Jaina´s will. But she managed to resist it and slowly raised the dagger. In the same moment a light fell over them, a bright white light that filled the air and blinded Jacen´s eyes as everything around him disappeared.
    Kahara, Chyntuck and BookExogorth like this.
  16. BookExogorth

    BookExogorth Force Ghost star 4

    May 4, 2017
    Interesting description of the dagger of Mortis. I watched the clone wars show episodes on that because I hadn't read FOTJ, and I wanted to have a bit of an idea about the Ones. I like how descriptive you are about the way it pulls on the group, especially when Jacen encouraging Jaina when she does take it.

    I do wonder what will happen...
    Anedon likes this.
  17. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Nov 30, 2005
    I'm not familiar with the Clone Wars description of the dagger but I like what you've written here. It must be a very powerful artifact. Jaina is really living her title as the Sword of the Jedi. As she is the one who takes the dagger. It's very cool how they all feel it's power.
    BookExogorth and Anedon like this.
  18. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    Thanks I´m glad you like it. :)
    I allways imagined the dagger as this powerfull artifact mad to kill godlike beings and I think such power does influence the minds of the people around it. Its a temptation the characters have to resist and Jacen is defenetly trying helping Jaina with that.

    Yeah Jaina´s title comes up in this moment, as the SotJ its her duty to fight the enemies of the order while keeping herself from faling to the darkside. She needs a strong will for that and this will helps her to take the dagger without falling under its influence.
    Thanks :)


    Jacen opened his eyes and for a moment he felt like had woken up from a dream.

    It had been only seconds since Jaina had touched the blade in the courtyard. Only seconds since the with light had overcome them. Now he was back at the escape pod, laying on the floor next to Jaina. Jacen saw the dagger in her hand, but he couldn´t feel its presence anymore.

    He felt the others awaken around him. Each of them seemed to have experienced the same as he had. Jacen sat up and leaned against the transparisteel window of the pod, his thoughts returning back to Mortis.

    What had happened? He could feel they weren´t on the insane world anymore. He wasn´t sure if they ever had been. He remembered what Thorne had told them, that Mortis maybe couldn´t be entered physically but via mind walking.

    But if they had never truly been there, how had Jaina managed to obtain the dagger? And how had Nev been able to come with them?

    The questions ran through Jacen´s mind but he knew that, like most that had happened on Mortis he would probably never understand it.

    He turned towards Jaina. "Are you alright?"

    His sister nodded slowly and gave him a smile. "Yeah." Her eyes met the dagger in her hand. "The dagger, its influence. It's gone." She closed her eyes for a second. "I can only feel it at the edge of my mind, a quiet whispering, nothing more."

    "We are no longer on Mortis, and the force is much weaker around us. Maybe that affects the dagger as well," Jacen suspected.

    "Probably," Jaina agreed. Then she smiled. "But we have found it."

    Jacen returned the smile. They had managed the impossible, they had traveled to Mortis and found the weapon they had searched for.

    But then he remembered what had happened before they had come to Mortis. The attack on the ship, their fight with the imperials...

    They were still stranded in the Vean cluster, a forsaken region of the galaxy.

    Then he recognized something else, something he had missed in his confusion and worries. It was dark outside of the transparisteel window, but wasn´t the darkness of space. Outside he could see a landscape pitched in darkness. The others had seen it as well.

    "Where are we?" Gaven asked and Jacen felt the worries in his friend´s voice. "There weren´t any planets around us when we encountered the obelisk."

    Jacen stared to shiver. What had happened to them? How long had they been unconscious? It must have taken the pod years if not decades to reach a world by floating through space. This was impossible.

    "Maybe Mortis brought us here," Jaina suggested.

    Jacen knew that this was the most likely explanation. Maybe the great obelisk had somehow transported them here. But why? Again Jacen realized that he would probably never truly understand what had happened there. For a moment the five humans sat silently in the escape pod. Each of them followed their own thoughts.

    Then Nev reached out and tipped with shivering fingers the opening sequence into the control panel of the escape pod. The heavy durasteel door opened and behind it they could see into the night.

    Slowly Jaina stood up, attached the dagger to her belt and stepped outside.

    The others followed her. When Jacen left the pod he felt a light drizzle on his skin. After the filtered air in the escape pod and the unnatural environment on Mortis, the fresh and clear air of this world felt refreshing. Despite his worries Jacen felt hopeful for a moment. He exchanged a short glance with Gaven. His friend gave him a short smile and Jacen returned it.

    "It could have been worse," the old Jedi said. "We could have been stranded on a lifeless rock with no atmosphere or in open space."

    "Always seeing the positive side of things?" Jaina replied but Jacen felt she was glad that they had found their way here. As his eyes got more and more used to the darkness Jacen managed to see more and more of their surroundings.

    The escape pod had landed on a soft slope. To his left Jacen could see a mountainside and dark peaks in the night. To his right the slope became lower and lower and he looked down into a large valley. Forests and grassland alternated down there as well as on the slope. As he starred into the distance he believed he could see a number of buildings in the distance of the valley; a village, maybe, or a small town, but he wasn´t sure.

    He turned again to the others. "Do you have any idea where we are?"

    Jaina shrugged. "The Vean cluster is big, there are dozens if not hundreds of unmarked worlds out there. And who knows if we are even still in the cluster? As far as we know we could be anywhere."

    "So what we do now?" Leah asked them and Jacen felt how worried she was.

    "We only have a few rations left," Gaven pointed out and, Jacen´s sorrows grew. His friend continued, "I think we should explore our surroundings. This planet has a working eco system, and if we are lucky someone lives here. Maybe we can find a way to make contact with the Jedi again."

    Jacen nodded slowly.

    "We could also try and call for help in the force," Leah suggested.

    "I´m not sure if we should," Jacen said. "Remember the attack on our ship. They attacked us immediately after we left the hyperspace. That means someone out there likely knew of our mission. And the lost tribe is still out there and according to what we heard they have been recently active in the Vean cluster. If we call for help in the force it might lead them here as well."

    "Guess you´re right with that," Gaven agreed. "We should be careful when we call out in the force."
    A cold wind blew around them and Jacen shivered. they had done the impossible: They had traveled to Mortis, a place of Legend; they had battled the dark side itself and remained strong; they had found a weapon that was able to kill even the gods.

    They had fulfilled their mission but their travel home had just begun.
    Kahara, Chyntuck and BookExogorth like this.
  19. SiouxFan

    SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 6, 2012
    Well, they've got the I'm going to have to go back and read previous chapters to refresh what they wanted it for!
    Kahara and Anedon like this.
  20. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    The dagger is a powerfull artifact that can be used to kill the Ones. The search for the dagger is actually from the FotJ books. As Luke realizes at the end that they haven´t Abeloth (The "mother" of the Ones) for good and she will eventually return and they will need the dagger to finally kill her.


    Thorne stood on the observations deck of the Gallant and stared into the void behind the transparisteel windows. There was nothing around them just the darkness of space and the lights of far distant stars. As the old man watched them, he again realized how small, how unimportant he was in relation to the them. These stars had existed long before the Jedi order had been created and they would still shine when they were long gone.

    Again his eyes wandered through the void surrounding them and at the same time the old man reached out with his mind. But neither his eyes nor his spirit found anything. His spirit returned to him and Throne turned to the man next to him.

    "Nothing, I can´t feel any presences around us, not even remnants."

    Luke Skywalker nodded slowly and again Throne saw the worries on the grandmaster´s face. In the last two weeks, since Octa Ramis had returned to the Jedi order Luke had aged as sorrows and worries had overshadowed his mind.

    The ship on which Master Ramis, Jacen and the others had traveled had been ambushed almost directly after they had reached the Vean cluster. According to Master Ramis they had found themselves under fire from at least half a dozen imperial ships, including a Star Destroyer of the Interdictor Class that prevented them from fleeing in the Hyperspace. The fight had been short and two of the enemy ships had started to board the Jedi vessel.

    Master Ramis had given the order to evacuate the ship and fought her way through the attackers to the hangar where she had managed to escape with a star fighter. But nobody knew what had happened to Jacen, Jaina and the others.

    It had been more than five days when they finally had reached the place of the ambush. After Octa's return the council had agreed that they had to search for survivors and answers but they had to be careful as they had to prevent the news of Jacen Solo´s survival from spreading. So they had only send a small fleet of ships into the Vean cluster commanded by officers loyal to the order itself.

    Thorne wondered what would happen in the galaxy when the truth would finally be revealed.

    After they had arrived at the place of the ambush they had found the wreckage of the vessel the group had travelled on as well as several destroyed escape pods in the asteroid field surrounding them. It seemed as if the attackers, whoever they were, had tried to make sure to leave no survivors behind. But why had they tried to board the vessel?

    Again Thorne wondered who they had been. According to rumors there existed still a few Imperial enclaves out here in the Vean Cluster, warlords who at this point where little more than pirates. But they had also heard that the Lost Tribe of Sith was operating in this region, possibly searching for Mortis, and Daala was still on the run.

    After they had searched through the wrecked parts of the vessel, Thorne had seen the devastation in Lukes eyes. They had searched the open space surrounding it for days but had found nothing.
    Now they were expanding the search to more territory, but hope was fading. Thorne knew that Jacen and the others were likely dead.

    "Did the others find something?" he asked Luke.

    The grandmaster shook his head. "No it seems that there is nothing surrounding us and the few planets within reach are so hostile towards most beings that humans can´t even breathe there."

    Thorne thought about this for a moment. "So I guess we can out rule warlords who just tried to defend their territory."

    "It was a planned ambush, They knew Master Ramis and the other were coming," Luke agreed. Then he continued, "Someone informed them."

    Thorne knew that this was very likely, but who had leaked the information out? "Maybe one of the crewmembers send out information. Daala at least has still a few friends in the military."

    Luke nodded slowly, as a dark shadow fell on his face. "And there is the other possibility."

    Thorne knew what he meant. As Daala still had supporters within the Galactic Alliance, Caedus might have some as well. And some members of the council believed that the whole attack had been part of a Sith plan to break Jacen free of the Jedi´s custody. Luke also seemed to suspect it and that worried Thorne.

    "While has was in his cell I Jacen wasn´t able to communicate with anyone and after that Jaina or master Ramis had an eye on him," he pointed out, but he knew that Luke wasn´t convinced. Thorne could still feel the anger and sadness the grandmaster felt for his nephew. The sadness of a man who had lost his wife and saw his son tortured.

    "Jacen is no Sith anymore," Thorne said. "I felt his guilt and self hatred on Learan."

    Luke said nothing to this and Thorne felt Luke´s conflict. The grandmaster trusted him and despite what had happened between him and Jacen a part of Luke wanted to believe Thorne´s words, but another part still wanted revenge, revenge for the things Jacen had done.

    Thorne sighed and prayed to the force that if they found Jacen, Luke would understand that his nephew wasn´t the monster anymore. He listened how Luke gave the bridge crew new orders to continue their search.

    He excused himself and returned to his small living quarters on the Star Destroyer. He sat down on his sleepcouch and thought again back to the events of the last days. He had given the others these coordinates, he had hoped that Jacen going on this mission could help him finding redemption, but instead he had send them into an ambush.

    Was he again responsible for the deaths of friends? Was this his fate?

    Again he scolded himself for all the years he spend on Learan with Kyra. He had been happy there but he had neglected his duty. He had lied to himself and the galaxy and chosen the life he had there over his oath as a Jedi.

    He remembered the time after he had heard of the fall of the empire and the rise of the new Jedi order. A part of him had desired to go, a part of him wanted to be a Jedi again. But at the end he turned his back on the galaxy. He had been a selfish old man.

    I should have been there, he thought.

    He wished he had joined the new Jedi order in these days. He knew if he had trained Jacen he could have helped him. Thorne knew if he had been there he could have prevented his friend from becoming Caedus. But he hadn´t and instead Thorne had followed his own selfish desires.

    "You are too hard with yourself, Mako." When he looked up he saw Briala sitting next to his sleepcouch.

    His apprentice looked at him and Thorne had almost smiled about seeing her again.

    "Don´t blame yourself for what could have happened. Jacen was saved at the end."

    Thorne knew she was right with that. Jacen had survived and become a Jedi again, because of his sister´s mercy and Gaven´s friendship. And now all three of them were lost and it was his fault. He wished he had come with them, he told himself that maybe he could have done something to help them.

    Briala still smiled at him. "There was nothing you could do. But there is something you still can do. You can still help them."

    Thorne opened his eyes. He was alone. He must have napped in and dreamed of Briala. Or had she spoken to him in the force again? I´ll be with you. Always, she had told him, and he knew that she was right again.

    He should stop blaming himself for his past mistakes and not ask himself what could have been anymore.

    He was still a Jedi and his friends were out there and needed his help.


    Here ends the second part of this story, Forgiveness. But of course our journey isn´t over just yet. The third part will start soon and I hope will continue reading and enjoying it. Thanks to everyone for reading, likeing and commenting on the story.

    I especially want to thank the wonderfull divapilot for the amazing beta and support, as well as my two former beta readers. Thank you guys. :)

    Here is the link to the 3rd part:
    Kahara and Chyntuck like this.
  21. SiouxFan

    SiouxFan Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 6, 2012
    Oh man...I totally didn't expect you leave us hanging once they'd found the Dagger. I like how your return us to Coruscant to get a different POV at the end. Now I'll have to wait for the sequel!
    Kahara and Anedon like this.
  22. Mira Grau

    Mira Grau Kessel Run Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    May 11, 2016
    Thanks I´m glad you enjoyed it.
    Sorry for the cliffhanger. ;)

    Here is the 3rd part:
    Kahara likes this.