Freedom in Death (quasi-JA)

Does anyone here know any techniques on that with Photoshop? I only know how to sharpen and add more color by using Color Range and then when they are all highlighted(Like let's say yellow) I go to Color Balance and add more to the color. I'm good at bringing out skyies, but I still need big time help! any tutorials?

 

*dances with joy* I just got DSL! woo-hoo! No more getting kicked off the Internet! I celebrate!

*******************************************

The veils covered her face now. Never again would she fly carefree among the stars. Never again would she train with Qui-Gon in the Jedi Temple. Now she was the Crowned Princess. Her head bowed with the weight of her future, a position everyone mistook for respect.

There was something wrong with her mother as well. She seemed colder than usual, if that was at all possible. More heartless, but it wasn?t only that. There was something else, elusive and foreboding. Oppressive, like a dark fog. But whenever she tried to sense it through the Force, it disappeared.

It was hiding, she thought irrationally. It was probably nothing, but the possibilities it invoked in her imagination made fear tickle the base of her spine. It was hard to keep still, an inexplicable urge to run was tugging at her. Understandable, however, and she refused to attribute it to something sinister. It was just nerves.

The Ta?a Chume droned on about her responsibility, the great honor of her position. Maelisaandii could feel the eyes of the coutiers and honored guests on her. Their thoughts echoed through her head, she was unable to keep them away.
What?s the Consortium coming to? She?s an exile, by the Mother!

Gods, how plain she looks!

No decoration at all... she looks like she?s in mourning.

Her own thoughts tried to overpower the voices. I will not cry. There is no emotion, there is peace.

?Now,? the Queen spoke in Hapan, ?Do you accept this great honor, unworthy though your are??

She knew the words were routine... tradition. Spoken on the crowning of Queens for generations. But still her indignation rose.
Unworthy?! Why did she drag me from my life if this was how she regards me?

Resentment coiled in her stomach. Anger would be close... but she defeated it. There was only the Force.

I will prove myself worthy.

?I do accept it,? she said, her voice steady.

?Then, receive the crown, and the responsibility.?

Her eyes were closed, but she felt the white gold tiara being placed on her brow. It was set with the living gems that only grew on Gallinore. In her previous life, this tiara would have represented two years of work.

That life was over.

MY life is over. Goodbye, Master!

She stood up to face her people, her face a cold mask showing nothing of her aching sorrow.

I am Maeli?Saandii.

?Go,? said the Queen to her audience. It was tradition for the ruler and her successor to be left along after the ceremony. They filed out respectfully, and the Ta?a Chume turned on her, contempt written all over her face.

?I hope you haven?t been totally ruined by your Jedi training. There may be something I can still teach you.?

?Like how to cheat and lie? How to stay in power at the expense of my subjects? Why did you take me from my Master if your confidence is so little?? Maeli?Saandii?s voice was soft, but her face showed her frustration.

?The law is clear. I had no choice.?

?What?!?! The law is most definitely not clear on that point. You didn?t have to look for me at all! You could have just declared me dead and put another of your daughters on the throne. One that would have been more to your taste.?

The resentment doubled, augmented by frustration and despair.
Why, oh why did you take me away from Qui-Gon???

In spite of all her efforts, anger piled on top of all the other emotions.

What did Qui-Gon tell you?

She forced the anger away... but the despair was harder, and her mother?s next statement blew her controls away.

?No daughter of mine will be a Jedi.? The Queen spoke the word ?Jedi? with such contempt that Maeli?Saandii?s insides twisted in outrage. ?There are more useful ways to utilize your talents, my daughter!?

?You will NOT speak of my Master in that way!? she shouted, quivering with fury. ?A Jedi is the most noble profession in the galaxy.?

?And you will never become one, Maeli. Look at you, pitiful girl. Didn?t your Master t

 

heh. I hope that last one wasn't too weird. <g> I hadn't run across any demonic possession around here before... it was an interesting idea anyway.

 

TOP!

 

UP!

 

well, what exactly are you wanting to do? The term "digitally remastered" is one of those vague and nebulous things that sounds cool and sells lots of video rereleases, but do you know what it is that you're trying to achieve?

 

Yeah, what I am trying to achieve is making bad quality pic's more clear and clean cut

 

I hope this one isn't too abrupt. I'm afraid I might have squished too much stuff into a little space. Aaanyways...

********************

Almost there, Pallak?Saandii thought. Only a few more tunnels.

Hold on, Maeli!

She wished she could speak to her sister through the Force, like the Jedi could.
For the first time in the weeks since Kylra had ?died?, she had hope that her beloved sibling could be saved.

Just don?t get angry, Maeli. She willed the words to reach her, turning her head to check on Kylra. The older princess was not used to an underground life like Pallak was. She looked tired and frustrated, but otherwise all right.

Probably irritated that the walls won?t part for her.

Another situation, and Pallak would have laughed at her older sister, so dependent on being respected, being obeyed without question. Pallak hadn?t exactly been indulging her lately.

Don?t worry, my sister. Soon, you will be Chume?dyaii again, and Maeli will hopefully be back at the Jedi Temple. Where she belongs. Maybe she will take me with her.

Pallak wanted so much to get away from Hapes. She wanted to be with her sister. The years without her had been terribly lonely. Walking through these tunnels reminded Pallak of the times she and Maeli had run through here as children, hiding from their nurses. She smiled at the memory, a bittersweet expression.

?Won?t the Queen have the passage guarded in the throne room?? The voice of Qui-Gon Jinn, the Jedi Master, broke her reverie.

?Yes. We will come out in the next room. But Mother doesn?t know that I know about these passages, so our appearance will be a surprise, I expect.?

The Jedi started to say something, but broke off abruptly. Pallak looked around in alarm.

?What is it??

The Jedi?s face was as white as parchment.

?By the Sith,? he whispered, horror-struck.

?What?!? His expression frightened her. ?Maeli??

?Yes. She?s.. she?s disappearing. Surrounded. Dark, evil... oh, no...? His eyes were closed.

Maelili!! No! Pallak was frantic.

?Come on!? She began to run. There! There was the exit. She brought out a large, old fashioned key, set with a huge gem. Damn Hapan decoration. It was unwieldy, but she got in open.

?Let me go first.? Qui-Gon was halfway through the door before she could answer.

I?ve never seen anyone move that fast.

?Stay here,? she enjoined Kylra severely (as if she would need me to say that... she would never risk her life for anyone), and practically leapt into the foyer.

Sure enough, there were two guards at the chamber door. Their weapons were trained on Pallak and the Jedi.

Damn damn damn DAMN!

?Put those down, please,? Qui-Gon said mildly, pointing to the blasters.

Impossibly, they obeyed him. Pallak gaped.

?Now,? Qui-Gon spoke to them strictly, ?There is a disturbance in the garden. Go investigate it.?

They obeyed, blank expressions on their faces. Pallak threw the door open, revealing Maeli?Saandii. She was surrounded by the Other?s horrible light, engulfed in a black cloud, fighting a loosing battle. The spirit would use her own anger against her.

?NOOOOO!? Pallak screamed, throwing herself on her sister, shaking her vigorously.

?MAELI!! No, come back! You can beat it! Please come back!!?

The raven-haired princess blinked.

?Pallak??

?Yes. Maeli, its me.?

?Oh, gods, Pallak!? She hugged her sister fiercely. Her joy at seeing Pallak seemed to overcome the anger. Her face melted into pure happiness. The cloud fled back into the Ta?a Chume.

?I am so glad to see you! I missed you so!?

?I missed you, to, Maeli.? Pallak held her older sister, rocking her back and forth. ?It?ll be alright now, darling.?

But it wasn?t, for they had forgotten the Ta?a Chume. Pallak heard her frantic scream a moment too late.

?No!? the Queen shrieked in a horrible voice, drawing a blaster and firing on her youngest daughter.

But the Other had forgotten Qui-Gon Jinn. The sound of a lightsaber igniting filled Pallak?s ears. The shot never hit her, the Jedi batted it away into a wall effortlessly.

?Run

 

Wow!! This is REALLY good, Maelisaandii!! Keep it coming, okay?

 

Thanks, Master Gimpy! I'll try and post again later today.

 

Pallak is dead. Qui-Gon felt the despair of his student through the mental link he had with her. Demon or not, this woman had killed her own daughter!
Qui-Gon rounded on the Ta?a Chume.

?How can you do this?!?

The Queen only raised an eyebrow at him, and Qui-Gon could only stare back. He had never seen such coldness. It was no wonder his Padawan had the trouble she did.

He shook his head and turned away from her, sprinting through the huge doors.

Maelisaandii was kneeling beside the lifeless form of her sister. Qui-Gon?s breath caught in his throat. Her sister dead, by the hand of the one she hated most. This was just the thing that might push his student to the dark side.

Her face confirmed his fears. When she looked up, all the resentment, hate, rage, and fear that he had sensed dormant in her was etched all across her features.

?No, Padawan.? He tried to reach out to her, but she shoved his hand away. Her face contorted into a snarl and she threw herself back into the throne room. Seconds later, he heard the scream of her mother, augmented by Maelisaandii?s own cry.

?YOU!?

She had dragged the Ta?a Chume from her throne, thrown her to the ground. Her hands were around the Queen?s neck, choking the life from her mother.

?Damn you!!? she shrieked. The dark spirit began to take hold of her again, but this time it looked like she was accepting it. Embracing it. She was- taking it willingly...

~No!~ he cried out to her, but she wasn?t listening. He could hear her thoughts- she didn?t care. Didn?t care if the evil claimed her soul, if only she could kill the thing that killed her sister.

Rage. Murderous rage consumed her.

?Maelisaandii, no!!? Qui-Gon screamed aloud, bolting to his Padawan and wrenching her away from the Queen.

~I won?t le you do this~

Choose her own path be damned. I won?t lose her like this.

~I will NOT let you give yourself to this evil. Think, Maelisaandii!! Have I taught you for NOTHING?! So you could abandon my teaching at the first obstacle?~

He took her by the shoulders and pierced her with his gaze, his blue eyes boring down to her heart. The faint but violent gasps of the Ta?a Chume only served to augment his thoughts.

The young woman faltered, fighting to gain control. ?I... I...?

~Why? Would Pallak be happy about this? What can you accomplish? Nothing! Except the loss of your soul.~

The anger that twisted on her face melted away, leaving only stunned shame. He felt the Other, no longer trying to hide itself, raged silently and return to its former sanctuary. It wanted Maelisaandii. She was strong, more capable than her mother in the Force. But it couldn?t take her without her consent.

And she almost gave it.

Qui-Gon shuddered. ?Come on,? he said sharply, taking his student by the hand and leading her away, leaving the hunched and gasping figure of the Queen Mother.

 

I can't beleive I've missed your story until today
I know I love it
Keep it going..
please?

 

Aww... redface.gif
Thanks a lot, Katri Tai! Don't worry, more is coming.

 

WOW!! That was a very...involving...post!! I like it, I like it!! You did a wonderful job of letting everyone feel exactly what was going through your characters' minds and seeing the scene as though they were there. Excellent job!! Keep it coming!

 

What have I done? What have I done? What. Have. I. DONE???

Her head was spinning. She had almost given, almost given herself to the darkness. Against all training, she had almost fallen. And the only thing that held her back was Qui-Gon.

He said I would do well.

But when it came down to it, she was completely lost, alone, and vulnerable without him. Without her teacher to protect her, she had almost set off on the dark path, running at that. Despair was clinging to her, like mynocks to a power line.

I knew it. I knew this would happen.

What I swore I?d never do. I SWORE I would never go down that path. Master, I am so sorry! I failed you.

Humiliation, worthlessness, shame, and a black sense of futility joined her despair. Qui-Gon must have seen the blank look in her eyes.

?Padawan,? he said gently, but with the firmness of steel, ?You must pay attention. Be mindful of the moment... you can resolve the past later.?

She tore herself out of her melancholic deliberation, meeting her Master?s eyes and rearranging her features to match his for determination. A switch turned in her mind, shutting out all the distractions that consumed her a moment before.

I may not be a Jedi, but I still have the training.

They slipped noiselessly into the hidden door, closing the door right as the two guards returned from their futile investigation of the garden. Someone was waiting for them. Familiar. She knew that shape.

It can?t be.

?Kylra??

Alive?!

?Maeli?Saandii,? came the cold voice.

There was only one thing she could say.

?Pallak is dead.? The accusation hung at the end of her statement.

And you did nothing.

The eldest of the royal family only raised her eyebrows. An expression so like the Ta?a Chume?s, it froze Maelisaandii?s heart.

?She is dead,? said Kylra, ?but we are not.?

Qui-Gon was already headed away from the throne room, his lightsaber lit as a beacon in the darkness.

~She is right, Maelisaandii~

For the first time, Maelisaandii shrank away from her Master?s mental touch. She didn?t want him to see her. She didn?t want him to see the failure she had become.

She retreated out of the glow of his lightsaber, navigating only by instinct and memory. Their passage under the palace almost sent Maelisaandii back into her depressed musings. Every corner reminded her of Pallak. Of the times they would play here, pretending to be smugglers or knights, warriors and queens. The stubborn part of her mind didn?t want to admit that she was dead. That it couldn?t be true. Pallak would be around the next corner, waiting for her.

But she wasn?t. Not here... not this one, or that. Gone.

A bright beam of light cut short her wonderings, causing her to squint. The door was open, revealing the door to the hangar... and the garrison of troops guarding, all of them raising their weapons.

 

EEEk!! hurry and post more!!! NOw!!

 

ROFL, Master Gimpy! Thanks a lot... <yells at her ego to get the heck back here RIGHT NOW before it breaks something>

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Adrenaline surged through his system as Qui-Gon swept his lightsaber from his belt.

?Come on!? he barked, darting out into the corridor. The only way they?d make it was to move too fast for the troops to gather their wits. He dimly saw Kylra pull a small blaster.

?I?ll cover you!? His lightsaber swatted away bolt after bolt. These did not come from remotes, and this was not a training exercise. All his concentration was required for this, and he gave it. He had not earned the reputation for exceptional lightsaber technique for nothing, he thought grimly.

Somehow, in all that motion, he managed to pull Maelisaandii?s saber from his robe and toss it to her. He would not leave her unarmed.

Her blade flashed to life, swirling with every color of the rainbow. He reached out to her, this time she accepted him.

Their minds meshed, becoming the perfect team. Maelisaandii covered Qui-Gon?s back, Qui-Gon swept blaster bolts away from her. They both coordinated attacks against group after group of troops. The soldiers didn?t stand a chance. They fairly flew towards the hangar, slowing to accommodate Kylra. Screams of the guards, and orders from their superiors heralded their passage.

Qui-Gon flung out a hand and the doors crashed open, violently slamming on their hinges.

There they were. Their fighters. Their freedom. The Jedi Master heaved a sigh of relief that they were still there.

~Padawan~ he called her out of habit
~Kylra?s with me. Lets get out of here~

Before she could protest, he grabbed the heiress by the arm and pulled her to his fighter. With a flying leap, he settled himself into the cockpit. A flicker of concentration brought Kylra up behind him.

Why did the canopy take so long to close?

Finally, the fighters soared away from the Hapan palace. But they weren?t in the clear yet. Qui-Gon?s jaw clenched. They still had to get into hyperspace.

?I?m sending the coordinates,? came the voice of Maelisaandii, carrying none of the despondency he sensed from her. Qui-Gon checked his computer.

?Got them. Go now, Padawan.?

Go. Go go go. I want you out of here.

The patrols were on them, and more. Five enormous Battle Dragons were moving into position to cut them off.

Battle Dragons. If they didn?t get into hyperspace within the next few seconds, there would be no escape.

?Plug the coordinates in, Master,? came the reply, ?We?ll go together.?

?Leave. Leave NOW, Maelisaandii,? Qui-Gon growled sharply. The Dragons were closing. The
computer was still working.

Come ON! he urged in silently.

?I won?t leave without you!? the distress in her voice was evident. She already failed once... she doesn?t want to leave me to die.

Qui-Gon glanced at his instruments.

?Its done. Go. We?re right behind you.?

Maelisaandii?s fighter hesitated for a second, then disappeared into hyperspace without another word.

?Well?? Kylra piped up fearfully from behind him. ?Are we not going? You said the coordinates were set!?

?I lied,? sighed the Jedi Knight, ?They aren?t.?

To demonstrate his point, the computer bleeped that it was now ready to go to light speed. Not that it mattered. The fleet of Battle Dragons had surrounded the small fighter, dwarfing it. Kylra was speechless with horror.

The ships loomed hugely in his screen. Bristling with weapons, surprising agile for their size, works of art each of them. The envy of any commander. And the apparent death to any of their enemies. Especially when those enemies were encased in a tiny, two-man fighter, with minimal shields and weapons. Only two laser cannons and a complement of proton torpedoes.

There was only one thing he could do.

Even a Jedi could not evade these Dragons for long. But he let himself sink into the Living Force, preparing to buy Maelisaandii as much time as he could before they shot him down.

 

Teeehee, LOL the ego thing Maelisaandii!! And Eeek!! You left it with another cliffhanger!! How could You? If something happens to QG, you're in big trouble young lady!!

 

Well, I do have to prove to a friend of mine that I don't only joke about other people's egos.

*******************************

All her efforts to keep the despair away turned to nothing. It overwhelmed her as she guided her fighter to the Escape.

I am worthless... a failure.

She set the hangar doors to open automatically, for any ship. No codes required. If it was Qui-Gon, so be it. If a pirate came to her ship, that didn?t matter. Perhaps they would kill her.

Maelisaandii entered her cabin and sank to her knees. The bitter taste of failure filled her soul. Her sister-friend, Pallak, was dead, and she was powerless to defeat the evil spirit that was her mother. The Other?s words echoed through her mind like a broken holorecording.

Didn?t your Master teach you about the dangers of anger... you are mine... as long as you hate her... hate her... you are mine... mine...

Maelisaandii buried her face in her hands. Even as she tried to force the hate away, it crept up on her spirit like a black shadow, stealthy and evil. It was hopeless, really. Looking inside her soul, she could see the murky layers of anger that had shadowed her consciousness, hate, resentment, and fear as well. And to think she had never seen it before.

Disgusting. Ludicrous.

And you thought you could be a Jedi.

To be a Jedi, one had to know oneself first, then you could learn the skills required. A Jedi did not cry in her cabin about the happiness she could never have.

Maeli?Saandii... Maelisaandii... both and all failures. A darkness plagues your House, and what do you do? You sit in your ship, safe and warm, thinking about your insignificance.

The voices laughed evilly. They wanted her to go insane. That point was not far in coming. She felt like she was loosing her identity. The Other had almost taken it, and now she was letting it go without a fight. And all because she could never, ever get away from her hate.

Even as her disgust rose, the same dark pleasure that she had felt after destroying Qui-Gon?s remotes surfaced.

It was the dark side, she knew, and despair joined the swirling darkness inside her. It would be so easy to take that dark power, to kill her mother just from here.

You could do that. You must.

A silent scream of agony twisted itself across her face.

No! I won?t!

You won?t, eh? Sure you will. Give it time. You will give in. Its infuriating, isn?t it? You can?t live without your Master. Crippled. Weak. Without him, you are nothing... nothing.

Master, help me!! She cried silently. The temptation was too strong, she could not resist it.
From her knees to complete prostration, she collapsed onto the floor, unable to hold herself up any more. Her forehead banged painfully on the deck plates, she made no effort to slow herself. Causing herself pain was the only hold on reality she had left.

I can?t... don?t have the strength.

A slow smile crept across her face. There was one thing she was still capable of. The smile turned to a feral grin as she drew a wicked-looking knife from her boot holster. The voices turned smug.

Aha! Yes, you can do that! The only thing left for you, Hapan.

Bah. She was a Hapan. Living and dying, she was her people. To become something you hate, that is the worst of failures.

It was incredible, the peace she felt. One slight movement... like that... and it would all be over.

?Over over over.? The world spiraled through the air like little sprites.

Yes, just one moment of resolution, and then... then she would be free.


[This message has been edited by Maelisaandii (edited 04-27-2000).]

 

If anyone's interested, I just started another fan fic. I know, I should finish writing this one first, but it was kicking me to write it.
Anyways, its called "Caterpillars", and its a JA (this time with Obi-Wan), and also a crossover with the sci-fi TV show "Farscape". Which, BTW, is my favorite show besides the X-Files. Here's a link.

Forum16/HTML/000641.html Forum16/HTML/000641.html

~Maeli~

 

Turn. Bank. Spiral. Dive. Roll. Evade.

Split second instincts guided Qui-Gon Jinn?s actions. He was immersed in his deadly dance with the Battle Dragons. Nothing else registered, not the terrified gasps coming from Kylra behind him, not even the near misses that grazed the shields of his fighter, caressing it like a mocking kiss. All that mattered that he was alive, had managed to stay so for just another minute. Another moment gained for his Padawan?s escape. He hoped she would not come back. The Escape was not nearly powerful enough to take on this fleet.

No... go away from here, Padawan. Return to the Temple. Perhaps you can find a new Master there. One who will teach you better.

His concentration was so complete, he had no awareness left to reflect on his own role in Maelisaandii?s life. But he was aware, albeit distantly, that he had failed her. Somehow, there had been something he had not taught. For now, he could reflect on this without emotion or sentiment, locked in the struggle to stay alive for as long as possible. They had cut off all escape vectors, it would be only a matter of time before they got a tractor beam on him. Or worse, a torpedo lock.

The circle tightened. He recognized their strategy, but that knowledge made no difference. No matter how far he ran, they caught up...

The ship shuddered to a halt. The controls froze. A defeated sigh escaped the Jedi. The Battle Dragons had won, and they were being drawn into the lead craft.

A strangled gasp of terror escaped his passenger, and that turned his heart. If he was alone, that wouldn?t be so bad. He was trained to be ready for death. But to have to bring Kylra with him... he should have let her go with Maelisaandii.

No time for regrets now. The hangar loomed in his vision. He fingered the hilt of his lightsaber absently. If it came to a fight, he would defend the Hapan princess as long as he could. Now, they could only relax as the fighter floated leisurely to the deck, beyond their control. Kylra was not relaxed, her absolute terror struck Qui-Gon like sandpaper. Her fingers gripped the back of his seat until her knuckles whitened. She knew she was going to die... Hapan soldiers were not known for their mercy.


The responsibility for her impending death hung heavily on Qui-Gon. His life had been dedicated to protect the innocent, and though Kylra?Saandii had not impressed him on their first meeting, she was Maelisaandii?s sister.

With a loud thump, the fighter ended its guided path and the hangar re-pressurized. A troop of Hapan soldiers came marching through the huge door, fully armed and business-like. A stern woman led them, tall and slim, with a ceremonial dagger hanging alongside her blaster. Neither were drawn.

Well, no use prolonging the inevitable.

Qui-Gon popped the canopy on the fighter and leapt to the ground, drawing his lightsaber. But, on a sudden, flashing instinct, he didn?t light it. The soldier eyed him dispassionately, and, quite unexpectedly, gave him a tiny bow of respect. The respect of one warrior to another. Qui-Gon looked back at her warily for a moment, but returned her bow when he felt no danger through the Force. Her troop of soldiers stood at attention, making no move to draw their weapons.

?I am Captain Neryssa,? she said in clipped, accented Basic, ?Where is Kylra?Saandii??

Qui-Gon relaxed slightly and lifted his hand to indicate the fighter.

?It is all right to come out now, Your Highness,? he said, bemusement coloring his voice, ?I do not think they mean us harm.?

The Hapan woman slowly emerged from the fighter, eyeing the soldiers suspiciously. When she had reached the ground, Neryssa knelt before her, head bowed in subservience. The rest followed suit quickly and synchronously.

?Your Highness,? she said, not raising her head, ?It is my honor to present you with this fleet, stolen from the Ta?a Chume, to do with as you will.?

Kylra looked flabbergasted and turned to Qui-Gon, as though expecting him to provide an explanation.

?It seems,? he whispere

 

Nice turn of events. Ready to fight to the death only to find friends, cool.

 

Wow!! Yes, go Qui-Gon!! That was awesome!! Now my heartbeat can go back to normal!

 

Perhaps it was her survival instincts making a last-ditch attempt to save her. Perhaps it was her training, or the voice of her teacher in her mind. Whatever the voice was, it was the only reason in her chaos.

You are the only one who can stop her. The voice said, only you can save your people.

Then they are in deep trouble, she thought at that voice. I can?t stop her. I know it. How can I stop her?

Another voice echoed through her troubled brain. Qui-Gon? No, he wasn?t even on the ship... It was the voice of herself, her real self.

The opposite of anger is forgiveness, it said.

What? The roiling darkness laughed. That?s impossible, it taunted her. You are weak.

See? She told herself irrationally. I can?t. I don?t know how.

The opposite of hate is love, the voice went on inexorably.

?I can?t...?

You must. Stop using that word. The opposite of fear is compassion.

Compassion? Maelisaandii considered. There must be something in her that was capable of compassion. She looked. Still on the surface of her soul was the swirling black of hate. Despair crept up again. The voices...

Look. Look further. Look down, through.

I?m afraid, said the cowardly self.

I hate her, said the angry self.

I can?t, said despairing self.

But through all those selves, one came through. The one that Qui-Gon had seen in her from the start. The good self- the brave, kind, compassionate self.

I will, it said.

Gathering up the last shards of resolve, Maelisaandii plunged into the black. Not into, but through. Down and down, past the years of hate, past the angry thoughts, the isolation. Down until she reached the core of her being. And there she saw it. A tiny spark of sorrow. Not for herself, it was the merest flame of selfless compassion.

Why couldn?t she love? It cried piteously. Why must she suffer so?

The little voice was inadequate to drown out the cacophony of selfishness. Maelisaandii looked at it from above. It was part of her, a part she never knew existed.

I?ll save you, she told the voice softly. But with what?

Her life flashed before her eyes as an idea presented itself. Not really an idea, but a concept, an image. She saw Qui-Gon. Her master, her teacher, the only person in the galaxy whom she loved. She was filled with gratitude. Qui-Gon had saved her. He was the only one who knew that she could do this. And do it she would, for his sake.

So she took her grateful love for her teacher and fed it into her compassion, making the flame grow. It was not easy, but Hapans are master manipulators, and Maelisaandii was still a Hapan.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the flame grew. As it grew, Maelisaandii found herself opening to the Force. As she did this, her compassion became stronger, augmented by the light of the Force. It was so easy, she thought, who would have known?

The flame grew stronger, and Maelisaandii was filled with a sweet, aching, sorrowful love. Pictures flashed through her mind ? of mothers holding their infant daughters, mothers crying at the weddings, a mother?s grief when her child was killed.

How unfortunate that the Ta?a Chume would never know this wonderful motherhood! How terrible, Maelisaandii thought for the first time. Suddenly, she saw things from her mother?s perspective. How awful to be so consumed by hate.

Maelissandii?s sorrow grew, but that was all right, it was not at all selfish.

I?m sorry, Mother. I?m sorry that you will never be happy. I?m sorry... and I forgive you.

The admission brought a wonderful relief to the Hapan princess. Once she admitted that, the rest was easy.

I love you, Mother! I love you for the woman you could have been!

Suddenly, Maelisaandii was so filled with the light of the Force it was almost painful.

So this is what Qui-Gon meant. There was only one flaw to her almost perfect joy, and that was to know that the Queen Mother could never know the beauty of light.

And suddenly, she knew what she had to do.

 

Great rendering of 'seeing the light'. I really enjoyed seeing the transformation into a 'luminous being'.