Title: Freeze-Frame Author: dianethx Timeframe: AOTC sort of Characters: Anakin Skywalker, Padme Amidala, Obi-Wan Kenobi Genre: humor, AU Keywords: workshop, impossible, AOTC Summary: What would happen if movie characters could actually think about what was going on? Notes: This was for the workshop #1. [link=http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/27802014/p1/?69] Anakin's Anger Management Courses: A study in writing humor [/link] We chose a number and were given a scene from one of the Star Wars movies and told to make it funny. It also had to be short, about 500 words. This one is a little longer but not by much. I was given this one. I thought it was an impossible task to make funny... oh dear. Attack of the Clones: At the end, Padme and the Jedi find them self surrounded... and in a situation that would certainly end in death. Disclaimer: These characters belong in total to George Lucas. I'm just borrowing them for a while. No credits have changed hands. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PAUSE Everything stopped. The thousands of droids surrounding them, Geonosian bugs flying around, clone-ships descending, Jedi defending themselves in the arena - everything around them seemed to shimmer and then freeze into place. Obi-Wan let out a sigh - an annoyed sigh. This had been happening too much lately and they were all getting tired of it. "Blast, they did it again." He turned to PadmÃ© and said, "Did you see who got the remote and paused it?" "No, it's too hazy. I can't see a thing." She shook her head. "Ani?" Anakin looked around, frowning into the distance, "I think... I don't know. I hope it's the boy. Please let it be the boy. Fighting and crashing into things I can take but that romance stuff is...." He scraped at his face with one hand. "She keeps rewinding and watching us over and over again. It's annoying." "Ani, we're in trouble. It's the girl." "E chuta." Anakin shuddered and looked at PadmÃ©, his eyes haunted. "She's going to rewind back to the fireplace scene again, isn't she?" Obi-Wan groaned. "I hope not. I don't think I could take one more 'kiss and scar' rendition. It makes me nauseous." "You're not the only one, Master." Anakin scrunched his face up as if he smelled something bad. "What's worse was the 'sand - coarse and gets everywhere' poodoo. Who writes that kind of kriffing nonsense?" PadmÃ© shrugged. "It's not that bad, Ani." Not for the first time, Anakin scowled at her. "It's Anakin, PadmÃ©. An-A-Kin. Not Ani. Ani's a girl's name." "But your mom calls you Ani." "She also calls me pookie-pie." As Obi-Wan started to laugh, Anakin muttered, "Kenobi, don't even start." There was a mischievous glint in Obi-Wan's eyes as he said, "At least, no one called you Oafy-Wan. I think pookie-pie suits you." Anakin snapped back, "Listen, old man...." "Stop it, both of you." PadmÃ© pointed out into the haze. "We're in trouble. The old lady took the remote away from the girl and you know where this is going." "Yeah, to 'Revenge' and that bedroom scene." Anakin gave PadmÃ© a knowing smile but Obi-Wan just groaned again. "If you had pulled in your stomach a little more as you moved from PadmÃ©'s bedroom onto the veranda, your pajamas would have fallen off and then where would you have been?" "In an NC-17 movie?" Anakin said eagerly. "At least I kept my clothes on," Obi-Wan grumbled. "Yeah, well the old lady also watches the end of 'Phantom Menace' where you and Qui-Gon are taking off your robes and she does it in slow motion." Anakin then reminded him. "Over and over again." "She has good taste," Obi-Wan said softly. PadmÃ© laughed. "I enjoy that scene myself." Anakin looked horrified. "You do? Qui-Gon's old enough to be your father." "But he's not." She looked very content, smiling just a bit, as if thinking naughty thoughts. "PadmÃ©...." Obi-Wan turned away, looking out into the distance, aghast. "