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Saga Frontiersman (Dear Diary Challenge) - Updated 8/4

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Exeter, Jan 15, 2010.

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  1. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Title: Frontiersman
    Author: Exeter
    Timeline: 6 BBY
    Summary: At a time when things were lower than low, Flacco Laxman gets the opportunity of a lifetime?to travel to the edge of the galaxy and explore an entirely uncharted world. And somewhere in there, earn his freedom.


    IDERDEX HANDHELD RECORDING DEVICE ACTIVATED...
    ANALYZING BIOMETRICS...
    USER ==Flacco Laxman== NOT FOUND.
    INTIALIZING GUEST INTERFACE...



    [u][b]DAY 1[/b][/u]

    First of all, I'd just like to say thanks.

    It's not every day a guy in my situation gets a second chance. Hell, a lot of us never got much of a first one.

    When I heard that a handful of us had a chance to get out?as in, actually [i]out[/i]?I just knew some bastard upstairs had a wicked sense of humor. Not all the way up, mind you. The Imperial apparatchiks they got running this place aren't even as funny as your average bureaucrats, which is to say, less than not at all. They all walk and talk like somebody rammed an [i]Venator[/i]-class Star Destroyer right up their?

    That's not the point. Point is, after thirteen years in this place, I'd moved on mentally. Oh sure, at first it was denial. There's no [i]way[/i] they convicted me, everybody knows we were political scapegoats, pure and simple. That lasted up until they told me to drop my pants and bend over, I think. Right about then came the anger, you know, lots of pent-up rage. Screw the Empire, screw Palpatine?

    I should probably delete that.

    But yeah, that was fun for a while. Until the days became months, the months years, and before long I started to feel like I was home. I had favorite foods in the cafeteria. A sorta-serious romance with a cute but shy Arkanian. I made friends with the guards and got that wistful, nostalgic feeling when they stopped doing their rounds and moved on with their lives. I joined a book club.

    See, that's why I hate this place so much. Oh, I know it could be worse. A [i]lot[/i] worse. I could be farming glitterstim and dodging speeder-sized spiders in the spice mines of Kessel, playing sabaac with Darth Vader?there's one game you really can't afford to [i]win[/i]?or a thousand other fates I could've easily gotten.

    But here, they kill you with the Imperium's brand of kindness. They let you get jobs. They give you a place to live. People to meet. And given a long enough timeline, you'll start to think it's where you belong, that things are just fine. I know I did.

    Right up until my saviors arrived in the form of the Iderdex Trades Cooperative and their Heuristic Outreach Prisoner Exchange pilot program. For those of you too adorably naïve to notice, the acronym's HOPE. Nauseating, maybe, but I'm beginning to buy into the whole thing.

    As for the what's what of the program...

    Iderdex throws me in a starship on a predetermined path to some rock smack dab in the middle of the Empire's catalogue of the unknown, a planet too far or too ugly to have yet seen the soles of a sentient boot. With all the droids and equipment I'll need, my job is to chart the place. To explore. I'm looking for anything that Iderdex can turn a profit on?on behalf of the Empire, of course?and what that might be is anybody's guess.

    What do I get out of the whole thing? Just my freedom.

    You know, it's funny. All the folks in the galaxy and they chose me and mine. Iderdex didn't say why, exactly, though you gotta figure there ain't nobody who'll work for less than us at this point. But there's a hundred thousand of us here and only a few dozen in the program.

    What's funnier is, here I am, society's detritus, an unmentionable, and yet the guy that runs this whole thing came to see me personally. He didn't come with any stormtroopers, either, so that won him some respect by my reckoning. A man who can't look you in the eye without a blaster to back it up isn't much of a man at all. He introduced himself as Cap, and if I asked if that was short for something, he goes, ?Captain.? Then he referred to himself as Iderdex's ?beacon of HOPE,? and I'll be damned >
     
  2. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Fantastic character - brilliant stuff!

    I feel lucky to have found this right at the beginning.

    May I be put on your update list?
     
  3. Lady_Tahiri

    Lady_Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 23, 2001
    What an engaging narrator. His cynicism with respect to "the guys upstairs" is well done, as is the lingering optimism that refuses to be crushed by years of "Imperial kindness." Somehow I suspect that even if he wasn't imprisoned, he wouldn't be happy sitting in one place. This guy is a drifter through and through. It's the perfect assignment for him. Please PM me with updates!

    On an entirely unrelated note - What do we eat, what do we eat? Red meat, red meat. What does it do, what does it do? Kill you, kill you. Though if your handle has nothing to do with anything, I apologize for the presumption.
     
  4. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    What a unique voice for your character - well done.
     
  5. Jinngerbread

    Jinngerbread Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2007
    Really fascinating character, excellent opening, looking forward to seeing what else happens with this guy. PM's please?

     
  6. Corellian_Ale

    Corellian_Ale Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2008
    :eek:


    What's that Elton John song again? :p




    I don't even think it's a thousand words and it's so rich with content... awesome Ex!

    And of course, lest it need be said, PM me when you update!
     
  7. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    geo3 - Good to see you! Thanks for climbing aboard!

    Lady_Tahiri - Somehow I suspect that even if he wasn't imprisoned, he wouldn't be happy sitting in one place. This guy is a drifter through and through. It's the perfect assignment for him.

    Heads up, men. We've got a spy :oops:

    But in all seriousness, you pegged it right on. I'm glad I was able to convey that in so few words-usually I'm a bit of a blowhard rambler when it comes to my stories, so it was interesting to see if I could roll with brevity.

    I'm looking forward to your thoughts on future chapters. It's always fun to have readers who are very attentive and pick up on things.

    On an entirely unrelated note - What do we eat, what do we eat? Red meat, red meat. What does it do, what does it do? Kill you, kill you.

    I could not stop laughing after I read this. It sort of sounds familiar, but I can't place it. You've gotta tell me what that's all about, it's killing me!

    Though if your handle has nothing to do with anything, I apologize for the presumption.

    Oh, it has something to do with something, I'm just not sure it's that [face_laugh]

    Thanks for reading!

    Valairy_Scot - I appreciate the praise. Thanks!

    Layren (sorry, I can't not) - Really fascinating character, excellent opening, looking forward to seeing what else happens with this guy.

    Me too. Let me know when you figure that out.

    PM's please?

    Alright. This time.

    ale - :eek:

    What's that Elton John song again? :p


    Don't start [face_laugh]

    I don't even think it's a thousand words and it's so rich with content... awesome Ex!

    I know, right? I didn't think it was possible either. Maybe a tiger can't change his stripes, but a dog can learn new tricks.


    And of course, lest it need be said, PM me when you update!

    You got it. Always a pleasure seeing you here, dude.





    [u][b]DAY 2[/b][/u]

    Today's the big day.

    In just a few hours time, I'll ?take my first step into a larger world,? as Cap facetiously put it. In a way, though, he was right. My world's been confined to a tiny township stuck to the side of a ball of boring rock. Any change of scenery would be an improvement at this point.

    I'm still blown away at how quick it's all gone down. It's only been eight days since they asked me if I was interested?like anyone here would say no?and it felt like two.

    I figured there'd be a lot of ?training?. You know, a bunch of overschooled eggheads standing around lecturing you about which sprocket to shove into whose junction box, the true nomenclature of those giant Star Destroyers, the theoretical probabilities of them ever getting to touch a member of the opposite sex...those sorts of things. Not my idea of swoop race.

    Instead, it's been a lot of physicals, inoculations against just about everything from Candorian plague to Wookiee cooties, and a ton of paperwork. Non-disclosure agreements swearing me that I won't tell anybody about the secrets I was never told on this planet nobody's ever been to. Okay, sure, why not. The real kicker? The bureaucracy droid warned me in his best stern ?I really mean it, sir? tone that if I broke the NDA or any of the other contracts I agreed to, I'd be subject to a heavy fine and [i]up to twenty years in prison[/i].

    Glad to see droids have finally mastered irony.

    The rest of my time's been spent getting an idea of what exactly this is all about. The way it's gonna work is this: in a little bit they'll put me aboard the starship [i]Wayfarer[/i], my new home away from home (such as it is). This freighter will transport me to a world with no name that, so far as the Empire's records can say, has never been explored by modern civilization. Notice those two words put together, ?modern civilization?, gives them all kinds of outs when I put down and am greeted by a dozen merchants hawking haircare products and two-thirds of their interplanetary repulsorball team. But whatever; as I understand it, I>
     
  8. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Glad to see droids have finally mastered irony.

    [face_laugh]

    As for the where, well, they left that part out. Understandably, I guess. Cap said the planet's in the Unknown Regions, which is a little like getting lost, wondering where the hell you are, and getting a holographic map of the universe in return with a little dot that says ?You are here.?

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    That's a rare thing, to fight against that biological urge to converge.

    [face_laugh] I seem to have a thing about wise-ass hermits with a past...

    I feel as if I've been flung into his universe with a catapult - two posts, and I already have this 3D picture in my head of the whole scene, and I'm really curious about what comes next. Sucked in, you might say. Bravo!





     
  9. Lady_Tahiri

    Lady_Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 23, 2001
    Non-disclosure agreements swearing me that I won't tell anybody about the secrets I was never told on this planet nobody's ever been to ... The bureaucracy droid warned me in his best stern ?I really mean it, sir? tone that if I broke the NDA or any of the other contracts I agreed to, I'd be subject to a heavy fine and up to twenty years in prison.

    [face_laugh]

    The mysterious Zek aside, I'm inclined to think that Iderex did do their homework where it mattered. Any number of guys in in Laxman's shoes would have at least entertained the possibility of escape, though most of them would have been too craven or too apathetic to try it. Laxman snarks up a storm but he's obviously planning to slog out the three years. I mean, logically speaking, no one in their right mind would opt for the life of a fugitive over delayed emancipation, but then lots of people wouldn't be in their right minds after being locked up for more than a decade. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he's got a good head on his shoulders. One thing I'm curious about: He doesn't strike me as an only-looking-out-for-number-one type; more of a "Look, Princess, I ain't in this for your revolution ..." type. So I can't wait to find out who or what he's loyal to.

    Oh, it has something to do with something, I'm just not sure it's that
    The school colors of Phillips Exeter Academy are crimson and white. So at football games the Andover kids chant, "What do we eat, what do we eat? Red meat, red meat!" And the Exeter kids go, "What does it do, what does it do? Kill you, kill you!" So when I saw your sn I thought you'd gone to boarding to school in New Hampshire too. ;)

    Oh and one other thing - I don't think your fic is listed on the official Dear Diary Index. You have to PM the diary sock and tell her to add you. I know because mine wasn't listed for the longest time, and when I PMed MsLanna she told me to PM the diary sock, even though MsLanna is the diary sock, and I was like :oops:

    Anyway thanks for the PM, awesome job! =D=

     
  10. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005

    [blockquote]This isn't the first day of the rest of my life.

    It's the just the next[/blockquote]


    Such a loveable cynic.
     
  11. Mechalich

    Mechalich Jedi Knight star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2010
    This is a very promising and interesting piece that makes great use of the first-person format's ability to provide a distinctive voice (and does so in a way that largely overcomes the descriptive limitations of the diary format). I do hope for some introspective ruminations by Laxman at some point, just to get a better grasp of who he is in a quantitative sense. It's not important at to the story at this point but I'd love to be able to confirm things like age (he was imprisoned for over a decade so not young, but how old?), species (presumably human, since this is an Imperial operation, but you never know), and so forth.

    Looking for to forward to meeting the three droids. I confess I hope one's a Viper Probe Droid, somehow I think the company of a maniacal, machine prone to self destruction would go great with Laxman's inner cynic.

    Well, assuming Iderex supplied a hard-wired set of hyperspace coordinates into the Wayfarer (which by the way, implies that at least the general area in question has been scouted by probots or it wouldn't be possibly to actually get there from what we know of how hyperspace navigation works), and then leaves the rest of the navicomputer's database blank it wouldn't be possible for Laxman to get back to known space, or even go fugitive in the unknown regions, without making blind jumps. So really, all they need to know is that he's not suicidal. They could even be more brutal and simply wire the hyperdrive to self-immolate after reversion to realspace at the destination, making it impossible to go anywhere.
     
  12. Corellian_Ale

    Corellian_Ale Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2008
    If I didn't know any better Ex, I'd say you were an original Seedy-Sider in RL. [face_laugh]

    You have this knack of turning mercanaries and hardened (I'm taking liberties here) criminals and making them lovable antagonists... :p



    The bureaucracy droid warned me in his best stern ?I really mean it, sir? tone that if I broke the NDA or any of the other contracts I agreed to, I'd be subject to a heavy fine and up to twenty years in prison. [face_laugh]


    Well, Iderdex may be a lot of things, but they ain't omniscient. For all of Cap's ?homework?, they don't know about Zek. I'd just as soon keep it that way. And since it'll be three years until you guys read this, all the better.
    o_O ... =P~ a mystery.... :D

    Three droids and a supercomputer? Here's hoping to one of them having a personality... I'm looking forward to some banter.


    =D= Can't wait for more Ex!!!
     
  13. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    Sorry for being AWOL this month and neglecting Frontiersman, but I've been hard at work participating in the [link=http://boards.theforce.net/non_star_wars_fan_fiction_resource/b10809/30707101]NSWFF-RPF Writing Challenge[/link]

    geo3 - I seem to have a thing about wise-ass hermits with a past...

    Hey, I mean, who doesn't?

    I feel as if I've been flung into his universe with a catapult - two posts, and I already have this 3D picture in my head of the whole scene, and I'm really curious about what comes next. Sucked in, you might say. Bravo!


    Great to hear. Now that I've got that contest entry out of the way, I'm looking forward to really getting moving ("DAY 3" after two months isn't a good start :p).

    Thanks for reading!

    Lady_Tahiri - The mysterious Zek aside, I'm inclined to think that Iderex did do their homework where it mattered. Any number of guys in in Laxman's shoes would have at least entertained the possibility of escape, though most of them would have been too craven or too apathetic to try it. Laxman snarks up a storm but he's obviously planning to slog out the three years.

    Mechalich pretty much said what I would've. You're right. Laxman has looked at the angles, and they're nothing to write home about. He'll mention a bit of that in this next entry.

    I mean, logically speaking, no one in their right mind would opt for the life of a fugitive over delayed emancipation, but then lots of people wouldn't be in their right minds after being locked up for more than a decade. I guess what I'm trying to say is that he's got a good head on his shoulders.

    Definitely! As ale mentioned, I've worked with "likeable mercs" before, but this guy is a bit different. He's cynical, yeah, but it belies an undercurrent of cautious optimism. He's got a bit of childlike wonder. He feels like a "good guy." And he actually feels the tug of responsibility here. He actually wants this mission, not just because it got him off that planet.

    One thing I'm curious about: He doesn't strike me as an only-looking-out-for-number-one type; more of a "Look, Princess, I ain't in this for your revolution ..." type. So I can't wait to find out who or what he's loyal to.

    Good observation. He has his reasons, that's for sure.

    The school colors of Phillips Exeter Academy are crimson and white. So at football games the Andover kids chant, "What do we eat, what do we eat? Red meat, red meat!" And the Exeter kids go, "What does it do, what does it do? Kill you, kill you!" So when I saw your sn I thought you'd gone to boarding to school in New Hampshire too.

    Ohhh...

    I figured it probably had something to do with the Academy. Nope, the name comes from that other Exeter--the one in England. I spent some time there as a kid.

    Of course, now I have the urge to use that chant wherever I can [face_thinking]

    Oh and one other thing - I don't think your fic is listed on the official Dear Diary Index. You have to PM the diary sock and tell her to add you. I know because mine wasn't listed for the longest time, and when I PMed MsLanna she told me to PM the diary sock, even though MsLanna is the diary sock, and I was like :oops:

    That was a really thoughtful thing to check--thanks! Yeah, I ended up just PMing the sock on my second update. Don't tell anybody, but it let me cheat a bit...I got about half a month free on everybody else [face_shhh]

    Anyway thanks for the PM, awesome job!

    Anytime! You're a fantastic reader to have along.

    Valairy_Scot - Such a loveable cynic.

    Aww, shucks. You shouldn't have [face_talk_hand]

    Or did you mean Laxman?

    Mechalich - Hey, buddy. Who's writing the story here, you or me? :p

    Outstanding observations. You were pretty much right on every point.

    This is a very promising and interesting piece that makes great use of the first-person format's ability to provide a distinctive voice (and does so in a way th
     
  14. geo3

    geo3 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 29, 2002
    Hmm... locked into a luxe starship with only one possible destination and three droids for companions? Very Sartre-esque, but leavened by dry humor and Lax's stoic pragmatism :p Do you suppose all Hells contain a bottle of Corellian Ale awaiting The Right Time...?

    The fact that his Cap (a most interesting and well-drawn character!) saluted him with genuine respect is a measure of what's in store for our hero. I already feel for him.

    Can't wait to meet the droids!

    =D=
     
  15. Lady_Tahiri

    Lady_Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 23, 2001
    We're following the Lost system here. Turn out the lights, repeatedly punch the audience in the face for the duration of the narrative, and then upon the eve of revelation, abscond to the South Pacific with all the loot before anybody can track me down.
    I'm all for some time travel, myself. ::watch::

    There, like a twisted birthday bash, would be the most important people in my life.
    I love him here for trying to battle his rising agitation and not entirely irrational fears that the floor is about to drop out from under him. He's ridiculing himself for attaching too much importance to himself - would Vader et al really care enough to torment him> - but at the same time his head can't overcome his heart. Great paragraph.

    but there's no hiding the fact that she's one sexy ship.
    Is it a male pilot thing, this infatuation bordering on reverence for the vessel that one commands? Han's always had a pretty bad case of it.

    then that means my boy Cap was a military man. Has he seen combat, or was he just a desk jockey?
    Were you ever a military man yourself, Laxman? [face_thinking]

    Well, I have to admit it was a little anticlimactic when between you and Mechalich I was thoroughly spoiled for all the precautions Iderex had taken. And it takes a fair amount of spoiling to do that for a non-tech-savvy like me. I've never read anything quite like this diary before. Okay, that's a lie, I've read a lot of things like this before, they just weren't Star Wars fanfic. This is such an interesting angle to take. I can't wait to meet the droids!

     
  16. Corellian_Ale

    Corellian_Ale Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2008
    First off, Jacob vs. The Dark Man, and their favored versions of destiny vs free will is drawing too much away from the answers I am looking for! :mad:



    Oops... sorry. Wrong story fabulouso.... [face_blush]


    I'm tempted to feel like we've been all had with the bait and switch, in that we all became greatly intrigued with ol' Cap via Laxman's musings, but we're probably not going to see him again until the story's end (if even then). But.... there's a terrific chance I'll be wrong.


    Risk an uncalculated jump, pretty much the most hazardous thing you can do in space

    This is hazardous, in that by making this statement you're implying that not every being in the galaxy is at minimum a rudimentary starship pilot and perhaps there are some out there who have no skill in flying at all. ;)


    Tartarus. Yeah, that's the name of the prison planet. We'll talk more about that...well, not now.

    The name or just the prison itself?


    I'm a runner, you know Well, that just might bloody well come in handy where you're going. ;)

    On a final note, with reference to fate vs free-will, I feel this expedition will not turn out as per Iderex and all it's planning...


    P.S.: Corellian ale is best served with a wedge of lime... ;)

    P.P.S.: Kaeso?

     
  17. SkalenFehl

    SkalenFehl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 17, 2003
    I've been extremely busy lately and haven't written a darn thing, but I couldn't pass up the chance to read this. Love this story so far!! Keep up the good work, bud!
     
  18. HelloKelly

    HelloKelly Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2009
    This is really good, I like it a lot!

    Can't wait for your next update!
     
  19. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    geo3 - Hmm... locked into a luxe starship with only one possible destination and three droids for companions? Very Sartre-esque, but leavened by dry humor and Lax's stoic pragmatism

    [face_laugh]

    "Sarte but funny." I think I'll get some t-shirts made up.

    Do you suppose all Hells contain a bottle of Corellian Ale awaiting The Right Time...?

    I sure hope so, else I'm gonna be in serious trouble.

    The fact that his Cap (a most interesting and well-drawn character!) saluted him with genuine respect is a measure of what's in store for our hero. I already feel for him.

    Yeah, when I drafted up the concept for Frontiersman, I started with just two names. Laxman & Cap. So they were sort of the genesis for the whole thing and I did my best to craft them both individually to be interesting in their own ways. I'm glad you're liking our protagonist. That's always a good start :p

    All the more heart-wrenching when Wayfarer crashes into the planet and explodes.

    Lady_Tahiri - I'm all for some time travel, myself. ::watch::

    Awesome! It'll be easier to sell when I reveal that Laxman is his own grandfather.

    I love him here for trying to battle his rising agitation and not entirely irrational fears that the floor is about to drop out from under him. He's ridiculing himself for attaching too much importance to himself - would Vader et al really care enough to torment him> - but at the same time his head can't overcome his heart. Great paragraph.

    Yeah, a guy in his situation has to be a little suspicious of the whole situation, as good luck hasn't really been tossed his way lately. You'll see a bit more of this in one of the next few chapters, when Laxman starts to question his role in the HOPE program and why he specifically is needed.

    Is it a male pilot thing, this infatuation bordering on reverence for the vessel that one commands? Han's always had a pretty bad case of it.

    Absolutely. I've been saving up to buy a boat the last few years and I don't even like the water. I just want to name it something sultry, serenade it under the moonlight, and make my girlfriend jealous.

    You know, it's interesting, but in the Russian Navy, all of their ships are regarded as masculine. They must not want their seamen getting ideas.

    It's like droid programming, I guess.

    Were you ever a military man yourself, Laxman? [face_thinking]

    [face_thinking]

    Well, I have to admit it was a little anticlimactic when between you and Mechalich I was thoroughly spoiled for all the precautions Iderex had taken. And it takes a fair amount of spoiling to do that for a non-tech-savvy like me.

    Sorry about that! On the plus side, it won't happen for this chapter. On the down side, it's because Mechalich seems to be MIA :oops:

    I've never read anything quite like this diary before.

    [face_dancing]

    Be sure to say that at the book club meeting. They'll never take my word for it.

    Okay, that's a lie, I've read a lot of things like this before, they just weren't Star Wars fanfic. This is such an interesting angle to take. I can't wait to meet the droids!

    I'm thrilled your enjoying yourself! My style can take some getting used to, so it's great to see a new reader on board and sticking with me. Thanks for reading.

    ale - First off, Jacob vs. The Dark Man, and their favored versions of destiny vs free will is drawing too much away from the answers I am looking for!

    I'm with you, dude. As wicked as that scene in the season opener with the Man in Black going smoke and wiping fools out was, I can't help but feel that the coming battle between "good" and "evil" means we're never going to really get what the deal with Walt's abilities were, or what the DHARMA initiative was really up to, or why women can't conceive on the island, or...

    It's a fun season, but I really don't feel like we're five episodes from the finale. Hopefully they wow me enough by then to get over
     
  20. Lady_Tahiri

    Lady_Tahiri Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 23, 2001
    Swan Lake [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Mace will have to forgive me but [face_laugh] [face_laugh] The L'Oreal jingle [face_laugh]

    ?Okay, you're gonna be Jabberwocky,? I told him. ?And you, you're Malarkey. How's that sound??
    ?Nonsensical.?

    God in heaven. I think I just fell off my chair laughing.

    I once read a novel whose first-person narrator was obsessed with citation ie. her paragraphs were sprinkled with quotes followed by (Faulkner, Light in August) etc. It got to the point that I really wanted to check out some of the books she mentioned ... at which point I realized that half of the works cited were fictional. :oops: That's how I feel about reading this story. If you ever wrote anything where the need arose to cite a ton of sources, I guarantee you I wouldn't be able to tell which ones were real and which were fictional, and that's the hallmark of a great writer.

    The plot thickens. Is it just me or does Laxman know an awful lot about Jedi? I mean I realize the Order was a pretty closed sect during the Old Republic era, but then again there were probably people back in the day who were crazy about Masonic lore. Maybe Laxman was head of his regional Jedi fanclub. ;)

    The droids are perfectly in character. In fact, I'm so happy to see that the droids have personalities. That's one of my favorite things about Star Wars. I can't wait to meet the third member of the triumvirate!

    Hurrah for a long(ish) post. =D= And you can call me LT.
     
  21. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005
    [blockquote]Pizza the Hutt [/blockquote][face_laugh]




    [blockquote]?I'm extremely excited to finally be working with you, Mr. Laxman,? JB-WC3 gushed. ?I've studied your files extensively, and they tell quite a story. Laxman, Flacco. Thirty-nine standard years of age. Species: Tenth-degree human, probably baseline Corellian strain. Place of origin: Mentu. Height: 1.88 meters. Weight: 87 kilograms, (a worrisome frown) I think I need to verify that. Sky blue eyes. Tatooine blond hair with trace reddish hue. Average heart rate fifty-six beats per minute. Mean arterial pressure...? he kept going.

    I had to work hard to conceal a grin. It wouldn't do to let JB-WC3?or Iderdex by proxy?in on the secret. They may have done their homework, but they forgot to check their answers. [/blockquote]

    [face_devil]

    My my those names and descriptions! :D
     
  22. HelloKelly

    HelloKelly Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 12, 2009
    Lol. Opera huh. I now have a quote running through my head.

    Singer: singing in Italian.

    Lady: Shhhh. I'm trying to enjoy the opera!

    Me: I know it's hard isn't it!

    Loved the Mace line.

    Kat
     
  23. Corellian_Ale

    Corellian_Ale Manager Emeritus star 4 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2008
    Pizza the Hutt!!!! [face_laugh]

    Jabberwocky?!? (why does that sound familiar, something to do with Sunday morning puppets...)

    And I think I'm really gonna' like Malarkey. And he really got around, huh? Well not like that, but you know what I mean.

    And no Bantha Burgers??? His cholesterol level can't be that high, can it??? [face_whistling]



    You'll have to explain to me why a Corellian is considered only 10 percent human. o_O


    And of course, the traditional Exeter cliffie, leaving us wondering about the conspicously absent member of the droid trio... I guess he wouldn't go onstage until all the green M&Ms in his bowl were picked out?

    Great update Ex!






     
  24. Exeter

    Exeter Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 2, 2005
    LT - Swan Lake [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Mace will have to forgive me but [face_laugh] [face_laugh] The L'Oreal jingle [face_laugh]

    Glad you're enjoying this so much. I'm a firm believer in wedging my humor right in between my drama without any warning. I think it strengthens the power of both.

    God in heaven. I think I just fell off my chair laughing.

    That explains the summons I just received in the mail. And the hospital bills.

    I once read a novel whose first-person narrator was obsessed with citation ie. her paragraphs were sprinkled with quotes followed by (Faulkner, Light in August) etc. It got to the point that I really wanted to check out some of the books she mentioned ... at which point I realized that half of the works cited were fictional. That's how I feel about reading this story.

    That definitely sounds like my style. In fact, it's funny you mention that. A friend of mine (Souderwan here on the boards) was reading through some original fiction I did a while back, and at the beginning of the story I had a couple of quotes, one of which was obviously made-up (the cited year hadn't happened yet :p). He assumed the exact opposite, that they were all made up, when the other two were actually completely legit.

    With something like Star Wars where there's already established material, I like to mix and match the existing bits with my own in a way that makes it hard to tell where the original stuff starts and stops. I think it's easier for readers to get immersed if they feel like this is just a part of the Star Wars saga rather than fanfic written by Exeter.


    If you ever wrote anything where the need arose to cite a ton of sources, I guarantee you I wouldn't be able to tell which ones were real and which were fictional, and that's the hallmark of a great writer.

    Wow, thanks for saying so. If I were the kind of guy to do things like blush, this would be the time to do it. If [face_whistling]

    I appreciate the praise!

    The plot thickens. Is it just me or does Laxman know an awful lot about Jedi? I mean I realize the Order was a pretty closed sect during the Old Republic era, but then again there were probably people back in the day who were crazy about Masonic lore.

    It's not just you. He does. Then again, there's folks who know the ins-and-outs of the Roman Empire better than they do the names of their own kids. No, not me. I don't have kids. I mean, not that it would be true if I did. Because it wouldn't. I'd know the names of my kids. Maybe not as well as I know the dialogue from the OT, but let's be honest, that's asking a guy a hell of a lot.

    But in all seriousness (unlikely), it's not just a red herring. It might not be an earth-shattering revelation, but there's a good reason why Laxman seems to know quite a bit about the workings of the Republic and the Jedi.


    Maybe Laxman was head of his regional Jedi fanclub.

    [face_laugh]

    Oh man. I'm totally throwing out the backstory I had planned for Laxman in favor of this.

    The droids are perfectly in character. In fact, I'm so happy to see that the droids have personalities. That's one of my favorite things about Star Wars.

    Me too. In so many other sci-fi properties, advanced robots tend to be pretty cold and emotionless. Except when it comes to murdering the entire human race. They get pretty hot and bothered over that.

    I can't wait to meet the third member of the triumvirate!

    Same here! Any year now.

    Hurrah for a long(ish) post.

    No worries there. Brevity's never been my thing.

    And you can call me LT.

    Good to know. We call a buddy of mine LT (short for Lieut or Lieutenant) so it kind of rolls right off the tongue...or the keyboard. You can call me Ex as long as we're all getting all friendly here.

    Valairy_Scot -
    [face_laugh]

    Nothing like poaching the jokes of others.

    My my those
     
  25. Valairy Scot

    Valairy Scot Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 16, 2005

    [blockquote]I made the mistake of asking Jabberwocky how it works.

    ?I'm so glad you asked,? he started, and I knew I was really in for it. ?It's quite simple, really. Each individual training module is transcoded into a series of flash-friendly engrams within the Wayfarer's network via data buffer concealed within an abstraction layer. When the subject?that is to say you, Master Laxman?enters the REM state of phasic sleep conducive towards the consolidation of procedural memories, these engrams are propagated across an electromagnetic carrier wave that is modulated to carry information. This is accomplished by way of optical tomography. Those bright waves you see are pinpoints of light that pulse along the entire length of the headgear and are re-read after absorption through brain tissue. Of course, the signal itself is affixed with a transimpedance amplifier to prevent any potential attenuation across the medium?there's really no reason to get excited about dendrite degradation, sir. These engrams are then processed and cached by the cerebellum in what you might think of as sort of a synaptic prefetching. From there, they interface with molecular layer interneurons which structure the electrical signal output of the cerebellum into a particular code that can be easily engraved as a procedural memory. Or perhaps better stated, transforming the training module data into a language that can be laid down as a memory. This avoids any, shall we say, malapropos glutamate spillover.? [/blockquote]

    Ah. What's that phrase from Star Trek about technical gobblygook - well, I can easily "hear" Spock or Data reciting all this.

    And it sounds so plausible! ;)

     
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