Saga Galaxy Noir: Galaxy of Suspects (A CorSec Mystery - Complete)

I started with this one long ago, but never kept up; so I'll just start at the beginning again.


Prologue:

Jav saw the shots hit him, but was strangely numb as he collapsed into a pool of his own blood. His nerves were overwhelmed with the incredible amount of pain shooting through them...

Reminds me of a movie or show, protagonist was shot, and looked up at the shooter and cried "OW!"

Sorry, random thought over.


Jav shook his head as he skimmed the dossier on Diabet. ?This is our ally? Worst shooting scores in CorSec history without washing out, has a record of erratic behavior, known to take on vigilante tendencies against organized crime??

?Benali trusted him,? Synth said. ?I just hope that?s not what got him killed.?

Remy's reputation precedes him!


?The results came back from the blaster that killed the victim in your current case.? She handed her datapad to Synth. The word MATCH blinked over a picture of a fellow Duro police officer. ?Kroma Sheik has gone rogue.?
I was shocked, to say the least.

After Synth, Kroma Sheik is my best friend in the Duro police department.

Right-o. Always the one you least suspect to snap.


So Kroma intercepted Moff chat about the Death Star? Very cool. Story potential wise I mean. For a senator I mean.

Barcode seems like one cool customer.

Wait, so Jax just up an quit to become a PI. Can one do that immediatly?


Chapter 1

They also wore masks resembling the faces of famous Imperials.

That, warrants a Keanu 'whoa!'


Tetran Cowall...

Another Face that thinks he just plain sucks.


?You?d think we?d gone through enough to earn our paychecks, now we gotta fight some maniacs just to cash them,? Remy muttered.

Brilliant one-liner!


All those nice people you met? All genuinely nice, all genuinely crooked. Crooked?s the only kind of cop you meet in Bortelles.




Greeres said, ?Oh, and Yonx? Bortelles is Bortelles. It?s not Duro; it?s not Coruscant; it?s not even Coronet or Phorim City. If you?re going to understand it, you?ll have to remember that.?

Double


Chapter 2

?Y?know, I tacked a ?no offense? onto my statement. And I did take almost a full year of medical school before switching to forensic science. Half-qualified and half-caring has to be as good as fully qualified and crooked, as I see it.?

Heh, all _ and vinegar, snappy Diabet wit to boot!


Zelvyn Judas, the Bortelles bogeyman, was essentially just that. The insect-like Gand was nearly half-cybernetic now. No matter how many suicide missions he took on, he lived to be rebuilt again. Much to his quiet despair. He lived now only to die worthily. Being nigh unkillable was holding this plan back.

Something about a character's depiction that makes you excited before he/she even speaks...


The enforcer rolled dizzily off the speeder?s hood. He bent down to look at the two criminals in which the remnants of the viewport had embedded themselves. Scans confirmed they were dead.

Why do I get the feeling this is the same figure from the prologue?


?The Empire has noticed. I am here to give you a position as an official Imperial Investigator. You could go to Imperial Center tonight to begin your training.? Yttrio watched Synth?s gray eyes closely. ?And I?m telling you right now, because of your knowledge of the relevant cases, your first assignment will be finding and capturing Jav Yonx. Can you do that, Lydon??

Synth stared back at the Imperial. He spoke quietly, calmly, with intonation as precise as a droid ? and as little emotion. ?Absolutely.?

Gulp/Zoinks!


Chapter 3

If there?s one thing Corellians know, it?s gambling. If there?s three, add on liquor and vehicles.



Staring at nothing in particular, he de

 

Nice update! A freelance doc, no questions asked, a non-cliche mob boss who is, for once, not happily married, and a rich boy who resigns from his dream job.

I only wonder, is Sonar's leave a total coincidence, or is there more to him than meets the eye (as in he's involved in the whole Benali case somehow). Or is it even because of his partner, Remy?

Oh, and what are the odds we'll see a long-toothed feline predator in the story, at least in retrospective? Yeah, probably rather low, because I guess forensics would've noticed they're bits or slashes from claws, wouldn't they?

Mystery, mystery...

Btw, cool thing to hear that you know Life on Mars. It really is British TV at its best.


Oh, and look who's here, a toast to the return of the a certain kind of alcoholic and misspelled beverage favored by many a Cor(r)ellian. Welcome back, ale! (I'll keep writing your name in small letters^^)

 

four of five cops killed in this city are murdered because of a case they looked into

Well in that case, Remy, just introduce yourself as Mr. Ryred from this point on and hope they go after him.

?I?m resigning.?



No, that?s not at all suspicious

Nice twist, though. I can?t wait to hear what reasoning he gives.

Great update

 

?I?d be glad to kneecap Remy if it would help.?

LOL. I loved that line.

The plot thickens with the mention of all the money Benali had. And what Remy mentioned about their case with SynMal made me ponder some more.

Hmm, I'm not sure if this is right or not, but I got the impression that Bel meant more to Katyana than simply being a "good, honest man." It was fascinating to see the Royal in his home environment and how he relates to his wife versus the people who work for him.


?That?s why I wanted you to be the first to know.?

oooh, so Remy doesn't even know yet?

Other people have already mentioned this, but I'm also wondering what caused Sonar to make that decision at that time.

Great job, and I'm looking forward to more! Enjoy Spring Break.

-Thumper

 

Sonar held up a headshot of Benali. ?Edairu Benali, cop from Duro.?

?Doctor-patient confidentiality.?

?He died three days ago.?

?Dead don?t pay. Come on in.?

You have the most awesome characters.

And I certainly wasn't expecting Sonar to resign! Tell me he reconsiders, or is at least forced to come back!

 

I've always loved funny

These were very interesting. I sort of like Royal, in the he's a badass-badguy way (like in Vader and Don Corleone had a kid). The last part with the panther was awesome -- such a cool twist on the boy who cried wolf And I like his wife even more

I'm VERY interested about the resignation.

 

Laine: Glad the Royal?s characterization is working for you. It?s a fine line to walk making him, as you say, a despicable scumbag, while also showing he?s a human being with his own problems.

As for the reason behind Sonar?s retirement? Well, a certain Corellian wants to know exactly the same thing.

Musical: See above comment on Sonar. oqidaun is to blame for ?Father Maclamahoney?; it?s a reference to the surname of one of her OCs. I?d be quite surprised to find a Maclamahoney in the clergy, though.

It was a pretty good break, thanks.

Leona: Yeah, butter flavor! It?s fun to see people go from to about that line.

VaderLVR: Kavuertes is a spin on an original fiction character of mine. I just liked the occupation idea, I suppose. Hopefully I won?t sue myself.

Raptor: Heh, well I do what I can.

?nanner: Too late to finish by break. I was green anyway. But I await your read/reply in the summer.

Dorothea: If I had to wager a guess, I?d say the Royal has a heart and unresolved child issues.

Ale: Wait, so Jax just up an quit to become a PI. Can one do that immediatly?

No. Not really, no.

Tetran Cowell is talentless! Talentless, I?m telling you!!

You are added to El Listo!

CF: More on Sonar?s resignation, forthcoming.

KELIA: I?ll tell Remy to try that, but he doesn?t listen to me.

Thumper: I like what I?m reading, but I must remain tight-lipped! I? I must! /strains

MarasFire: Very glad you liked the ?dead don?t pay? exchange; it really sums Kavuertes up rather nicely.

Nat: Excited to hear you?re liking the Royal (in a properly villainous way, of course ).


Big thanks, everybody, for reading and replying!


Dramatis Personae

Bortelles CorSec
Regional Director Jek Greeres: Human from Corellia. Long-time head of Bortelles CorSec.
Remy Diabet: Human from Corellia. One of the few clean CorSec officers in his city, Djerro?s partner.
Djerro ?Sonar? Begg: Human from Corellia. Remy?s partner, who left a life of wealth after his family was slain by a serial killer.
Kaede Thylum: Human from Corellia. The Bortelles animal expert, with a trained Corellian slice hound named Thief.
Brigan DaRusso: Human from Corellia. Citec?s partner, has feud with Remy.
Meih Diabet: Human from Corellia. Remy?s sister, and rookie lab tech in forensics.
Citec: Selonian from Corellia. DaRusso?s partner, concerned almost exclusively for the interests of his fellow Selonians.

Duro
Detective Inspector Jav Yonx: Duro from Duro. Synth?s partner.
Detective Sergeant Synth Lydon: Human from Duro. Genius cop, Jav?s partner.
Detective Inspector Kroma Sheik: Rodian from Duro. Jav?s friend, recently arrested for murder.
Detective Sergeant Edairu Benali: Human from Duro. Died working with Remy on a case involving the SynMal Trading Company.

Bortelles
Welc ?The Royal? Ryred: Human from Corellia. Wealthy head of Reissh Shipyards, and a crime lord who essentially owns the city.
Zelvyn Judas: Gand, origin unknown. Cyborg enforcer with a death wish.
Doctor Natille Kavuertes: Human from Joralla. ?Discreet medical service? who assisted Benali with the cuts on his arms.
Katyana Ryred: Human from Corellia. Wife of the Royal, who doesn?t approve of his more ruthless tactics.

---

[b]Chapter Five: Goodbyes[/b]


[i]Kelona 5, 1312
Detectives? Room, Bortelles CorSec Primary
Bortelles, Corellia[/i]

?What the kriff is this Sithspit, and why am I hearing about it from a third party?? Remy slammed his hands down on Sonar?s desk as punctuation.

His partner looked up demurely. ?Remy, I [i]told[/i] you

 

Woah, nice update! I can understand Sonar's reasons to leave, at least those he gave Remy. ;P One of the only two righteous and non-corrupt cops in town, it's not hard to grasp the futility behind it all.

Heh, Meih's having troubles finding the killing blade? Well, her collection probably doesn't include teeth or claws from a sabrecat, does it?

Cops, investigations, and warrants, the ooold story, eh? Tavil doesn't seem very helpful anyway, though.

Woah, what's Sonar done to earn that "beat-up"? I loved the start of that part, nice writing with the "He took a drink"-repetitions. Let's just hope good old Sonar Man wore a flak-vest underneath his clothes. But it's a good way to go, when everybody thinks you're dead, but you're not.

Very good job, once again, can't wait to read on.

 

Not that I like the good-guys dying, but it's nice to see such a situation where there's an intruder and neither of these happen: A) The good guy has a gun under his blanket or newspaper and kills him or B) The intruder has a silenced weapon and shoots the good guy while he is either sleeping, taking a shower, or having a quiet moment with his family. So this was very original, and I like it. Great job, as usual.

Raptor517

 

Oh, wow. Sonar got shot?! I wasn't expecting that. I hope he survived it. Or at least, that it gives them more clues about what's going on. One thing's for sure, Face, you know how to weave a tangled web of a storyline! I can never do that properly. Respect to ya!

And your characters are still brilliant. I love their interaction. And I really like Meih, she's cool. And funny, when contrasted/interacting with her brother! Basically, this was an awesome chapter. Can't wait to read more of this!

 

Poor Sonar! I sure hope he's okay...

Great post!

 

Superb update on bright one. I love these types of stories and you're executing this one flawlessly! Bravo!

 

In rebuttal, Remy stuck out his tongue.

That's telling him, Remy!



Perhaps if Sonar had been honest, Remy could have helped him...and saved his life.

It'll be interesting to see how Remy takes the news.

Great update

 

CF: Very glad the ?he took a drink? section worked. That Sonar scene is one I put a special amount of work in, to do right by the character.

As for the why of the shooting, you won?t be the only one asking that.

Raptor: I try to avoid cliché, so that?s good to hear!

Iverna: Of course, tangled plotlines is another goal of mine. This one might be my twistiest long fic yet. Maybe.

Laine: I?ll just say more about Sonar to come. [face_tightlipped]

Kim: ?Bright one?, yeah, there?s something.

KELIA: No argument the tongue can?t solve! ?That?s? that?s probably why I shouldn?t post in the Senate.


Thanks so much for R&Ring, everybody!!

Next update should be Friday or Saturday.

 

*stunned silence* ....................................................................

Umm...okay then. I'm going to do my level best not to panic, and respond to this in a calm, quiet----------WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO SONAR?????

*gaaaaaaasp*

oh...and I hate Tavil.

 

Aww.

Man, this was a depressing chapter. First with Remy trying to figure out why Sonar was leaving, then with Sonar acting like a big ol' softy at the end of that section. The middle parts were less so--I liked Meih's stress relief comment, heh heh. I'm also glad that she's working hard to figure out what happened to Benali and not just writing him off as "that cop from Duro" like the others in that department did.


The way the one on the right moved, it screamed ex-CorSec.

Nice little detail there. Bad corruption. No biscuit.

Tavil definitely seems like a sleazeball. oi.

And then things got all depressing again. Poor Sonar! I did not see that coming at all.
<--That about sums it up for me.

Great update, and I'm looking forward to more!

-Thumper

 

Yay, more!


?That broken man? He?s you in thirty years, if the Royal doesn?t have you killed first.? Sonar?s expression softened momentarily, then he left Remy alone.

Wow, quite the optimist I'd say. But I think that's the general feeling of most (good)RL cops nowadays too.


?I?ve got more stress relief than I know what to do with,? she muttered.

Ooo! I want one too! Just, I want it to say 'OW!' when I jab it...


Tavil locked the Duro?s rust-red gaze with a slightly bemused one, though the rest of his face remained appropriately grave.



Sonar disappeared into the Bortelles night. Only now did the shooter lower the smoking gun. Tossing the empty ale glass out with the victim, the killer took leave of the third-floor apartment.

Djerro ?Sonar? Begg fell drunk with ale, shot with slugs, and cut with glass, into the cold, gray sea.

Oh, I definately want MORE! Great teasing chapter Face, now, meat and potatoes please!

 

Dorothea: Calm indeed! We?ll get to the bottom of this!

Thumper: Well I tried to lighten the opener up with plenty of jokez. I tried!

Meih?s a girl after her brother?s heart, despite the attitude she gives Jav. Tavil, however? [face_shame_on_him]

Leona: I wondered if people might see through Sonar?s story like Remy. Answer: Yes.

Ale: And don?t forget to tape a face on it when you?re stabbing.

What?s taters, precious?

A big ol? thank you to all who read and replied!

Oh, and now?s a good a time as any to thank wookieepedia for supplying all the Old Corellian phrases and words in this fic.


Dramatis Personae

Bortelles CorSec
Regional Director Jek Greeres: Human from Corellia. Long-time head of Bortelles CorSec.
Remy Diabet: Human from Corellia. One of the few clean CorSec officers in his city, Djerro?s partner.
Djerro ?Sonar? Begg: Human from Corellia. Remy?s partner, who left a life of wealth after his family was slain by a serial killer.
Kaede Thylum: Human from Corellia. The Bortelles animal expert, with a trained Corellian slice hound named Thief.
Brigan DaRusso: Human from Corellia. Citec?s partner, has feud with Remy.
Meih Diabet: Human from Corellia. Remy?s sister, and rookie lab tech in forensics.
Citec: Selonian from Corellia. DaRusso?s partner, concerned almost exclusively for the interests of his fellow Selonians.

Duro
Detective Inspector Jav Yonx: Duro from Duro. Synth?s partner.
Detective Sergeant Synth Lydon: Human from Duro. Genius cop, Jav?s partner.
Detective Inspector Kroma Sheik: Rodian from Duro. Jav?s friend, recently arrested for murder.
Detective Sergeant Edairu Benali: Human from Duro. Died working with Remy on a case involving the SynMal Trading Company.

The Royal?s Organization
Welc ?The Royal? Ryred: Human from Corellia. Wealthy head of Reissh Shipyards, and a crime lord who essentially owns the city.
Zelvyn Judas: Gand, origin unknown. Cyborg enforcer with a death wish.

Bortelles
Petric Tavil: Human from Ando. Head of SynMal?s Bortelles branch, the business Remy and Benali were investigating for connections to the Duro and Corellian underworlds.
Doctor Natille Kavuertes: Human from Joralla. ?Discreet medical service? who assisted Benali with the cuts on his arms.
Katyana Ryred: Human from Corellia. Wife of the Royal, who doesn?t approve of his more ruthless tactics.

---

[b]Chapter Six: Private Relations[/b]


[i]Kelona 6, 1025
Conference Room D, Bortelles CorSec Primary
Bortelles, Corellia[/i]

[i]Armed with what meager information we?d gleaned so far, Diabet and I set up shop in a rarely-used conference room at Primary to take a step back and look at the larger picture. And it was there that I realized we weren?t looking nearly big enough.[/i]

Jav and Remy stood side by side, staring at the holo-board on the opposite wall, on which they?d created an interactive timeline of Benali?s last days. At the right, at Kelona 2, a digital web connected a series of autopsy photos to the words [i]Parking Garage B, Time of Death est.[/i] At the left was Benali?s arrival on Corellia, followed by all the times that Remy could account for his whereabouts, and the night Kavuertes helped him. Off to the top-left and top-right, connected to no time were text boxes labeled [i]Benali obtains sabrecat briefcase of cash[/i] and [i]Benali loses briefcase[/i].

?I feel like it?s just out of reach,? Jav said.

?I feel like it?s a lightyear away and I have an Ewok?s armspan,? Remy said.

?Colorful.? Disdain oozed from his voice.

Remy didn?t notice. ?I do what I can.?

?Do you know any significance of a sabrecat?? Jav asked.

?Is this, like, an astrology question??

?I?m fairly certain sabrecat isn?t a sign.?

Remy raised an eyebrow at the Duro. [i]Feel free not to take everything I say lit

 

A postie!!! *tackle hugs Nathan*

Remy raised an eyebrow at the Duro. Feel free not to take everything I say literally, he thought.
Hahaha...oh Remy, Jav will never learn.

Remy sheathed his imaginary dagger. ?Not at all. What is it, Kaede??


?Then Thief stays with you,? Kaede said. She addressed her four-legged comrade. ?Thief. Wagyx.? The slice hound turned and got low on its fronts paws, clearly now guarding Remy from entering the apartment.

Remy frowned, mouthing the Old Corellian term Kaede had taught Thief to associate with him. ?Hey!?
*snickers* I don't know what 'wagyx' means, but I gots a guess.

But there was no glass in sight. His hand stopped. ?Remy.?
Ooo! I can't WAIT to see what's in that box!!

FanTASTIC chappy, Nathan! I abso-bloomin'-lutley love Remy...and Sonar. Hmm, I must have something for Corellians...

 

I get first post! Interesting...I wonder what the label says. And just who is working for the Royal, I wonder...

Raptor517

 

Okay, I'm not a cop, and I don't watch CSI type shows, etc., and even had I not having read the last chapter; even I would surmise that Sonar took a nose dive out the window into the river...Darusso sucks.

I love watching Remy and Jav's relationship evolve, albiet slowly...

Great chapter Face, no potatoes, but plenty of peas. As in peas update soon!!!

 

Thanks for the PM, Face. A quite mundane one, for a change, but still.^^

?I feel like it?s just out of reach,? Jav said.

?I feel like it?s a lightyear away and I have an Ewok?s armspan,? Remy said.
Talk about Remy and metaphors. But it sure is a good one.

Jav remained unmoving and unaware of his temporary partner?s actions as Remy mimed stabbing him to death.

The door slid open and Kaede looked in at Remy in mid-stab of the oblivious Duro. Loved this, just as all the Jav/Remy scenes here. Behaving like an old married couple, lmao.^^


Remy?s eyes narrowed. ?That we being the kind that takes their orders from the Royal??

?And the Royal?s involvement is based on? what, exactly? A hunch? Carthey Machwilliam had hunches.? Ooh, I love conflict and rivalries! Great to see a ref to LP's little universe--just having finished The User 1-1 (I know, a little bit late), I had just been waiting for something like that, with LP using your Bortelles, for example.

Remy looked down at Thief. Thief looked up at him. ?Now that Kaede and I are no longer an item, I think I can say that I never liked you.? "Dogs" ain't stupid, dear Remy. Oh, and I looked up what "wagyx" means... veeeery mean of Kaede.

Nice analysis Jav did there, let's just hope he's wrong in that one aspect--that "Detective Begg is no longer alive".

And now, stop it with the cliffies already, will you?! ...

No, just kidding. Very good job on the new chapter, great character interaction once more. And the story gets more and more complex, I like that.

Keep up the PMs, and next time with a little bit "more real butter flavor" next time, please?

 

So good!! I love this story more every time you update

I feelreally bad for Remy. I love his sarcastic side, but that "I don't know you" about broke my heart

I'm VERY curious to know why Sonar was killed, and why he's prepared boxes and been drinking first.

Awesome update

 

Great update!

Jav remained unmoving and unaware of his temporary partner?s actions as Remy mimed stabbing him to death.
The door slid open and Kaede looked in at Remy in mid-stab of the oblivious Duro.

I know others have quoted this part too, but it's just too good not to mention again. That was a literal laugh-out-loud (LLOL?) for me.

I'm enjoying the User references too.

Poor Remy. He's having a really rough time of things lately. Not as rough as Sonar, but still. Though maybe it's better for Remy's stomach that he didn't see the pools of Sonar's blood. And by Jav going into Sonar's apartment and looking around for him, Remy is being forced to rely on Jav for something important. I trust Jav won't let him down.

I'm looking forward to more!

-Thumper