Beyond - Legends "Green Eyes, Dark Hair" - Dr. Seuss/SW Crossover - Han/Jaina, J/J Silliness ...Thanks, readers...

Title: Green Eyes, Dark Hair
Author: oldjedinurse
Timeframe: Anytime post NJO/TJK
Characters: Han and Jaina Solo, J/J
Genre: Humor/Silliness
Keywords: Han, Jaina, Solo
Notes: SW-Dr. Seuss Crossover - Complete August 1, 2005.


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Disclaimer: I am merely playing in a park dedicated to the Lucas Empire. George Lucas owns everything Star Wars. He and a stellar group of authors own the many characters brought to life in books full of SW stories. I own nothing ? I?m in this for the fun of it. Thanks, George!

With a grateful nod to Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham" for the inspiration! Although people may be sorry...



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[hl=limegreen]Green Eyes, Dark Hair[/hl]


You do not like green eyes, dark hair?
I do not like them, Jaina-fair.
I do not like green eyes, dark hair.

I could not, would not, on a bet.
I will not, will not, under threat.
I will not meet them out in space.
I will not meet them anyplace.
Not in a war! Not on the sea!
Not in a ship! You let me be!

I do not like the name of Fel.
I do not think I wish him well.
I will not have him come to eat.
I do not like him with the fleet.
I do not like the name of Kyp.
I do not think he has a grip.
I do not like the name of Zekk.
I do not think he is in check.
I do not like green eyes, dark hair!
I do not like them, anywhere.

You do not like them.
So you say.
Meet them! Meet them!
And you may.
Meet them and you may, I say.

Jaina!
You must let me be, I will not meet them.
You will see.

Say!
I don?t like green eyes, dark hair!
I don?t! I don?t like what they share.
And I would beat them in a fight.
And I would beat them if they might?

Dad!
I so want
green eyes, dark hair!
You must!
You must!
Oh please be fair!

No, Jaina, no!
You will not go.

I will not, will not, give you up.
I will not pour caf in their cup.
I do not want to talk it through.
I do not want those boys with you.

You do not like green eyes, dark hair?
I do not like them, Jaina-fair.
I do not like green eyes, dark hair.

Okay!
Well, now its clear to see.
There must be others who like me.
I?ll look for brown or blue or grey.
With hair of blonde or red, okay?

Say!
That?s my girl, my Jaina-fair.
There?s more than just green eyes, dark hair.

I do not like green eyes, dark hair.
I do not give you to their care.
Of course, I don?t like brown or blue.
I don?t like anyone for you.

Its true!
I would not let you go.
I would not let them have you, no!
I will not need a Jedi Knight
I will just use some carbonite.

But that I will not tell you now.
I will not tell you where or how.
Go and find blue eyes, brown hair.
I bet you?ll see them everywhere.

Say!
I don?t like blue eyes, brown hair.
I do not like men dark or fair.
As long as they might look at you.
As long as I know what they?d do?

Jaina!
I hope you never find.
A man who?s beautiful and kind.
A man I cannot hate, you see.
A man as wonderful as me.

You might!
You might!
Oh, no! Its true.
And worse, you might find they like you.

Leia!
I will listen now.
If you can tell me when and how.
If you can warn me when time comes.
If you don?t let me vape the bums.
If you can hold me up in time.
If you can stop me from a crime.
I?ll let her go.
I?ll make her day.
I?ll even watch her walk away.
With someone that I learn to trust.
With someone that I know I must.

I do not like green eyes, dark hair.
I do not like them, Jaina-fair.
But if one is the man for you.
I?ll do my best to like him too.

Say!
If his name is Fel I?ll try.
And never even wonder why.
The universe is so unkind.
The universe can be so blind.
To lead you to my biggest fear.
To lead you to the son of Tir.

I could not, would not, break your heart.
I will not, would not, even start.
I will not stand up in your way.
I will not do it. No! I say.
Not in the house! Not on the aisle!
Not next to Soontir Fel. I?ll smile!

Its

 

Very, very nice, oldj! I love Dr. Seuss, and you did a great job adapting his work.

KT

 

You must be on medication, right?

Glad to see you're keeping busy.

Hope you're doing well and just to let you know, this is hilarious.

I can see Han doing this to any of Jaina's suitors, not that many would apply, because of him.

But he's an old softy and the thought of grandchildren changes his mind.

This is too cute. And Green Eggs and Ham was always one of my son's favorite. Mine was Fox in Socks.

 

That was great! That was a really cute adaptation. Awesome job oldj!
--Wynssa

 

I do not like the name of Fel.
I do not think I wish him well.

hehehe

I do not want to talk it through.
I do not want those boys with you.



Jaina!
I hope you never find.
A man who?s beautiful and kind.
A man I cannot hate, you see.
A man as wonderful as me.



I will not, will not, Jaina-fair.
I will not hit him with a chair.
I could not, would not, hack his ship.
I would not fatten up his lip.
If you would fall in love with him.
If you can live with so much grim.
If you believe he is the one.
Then I will put away my gun.




That was absolutely hilarious, oldj Very cute. I loved the way you actually got it to tell a story through Han and Jaina, and I really enjoyed the subject matter. I imagine Han would be very possessive of his little girl and you managed to capture his humor in that perfectly. And good job with the Dr. Seuss silliness and rhymes

Outstanding

 

Thanks, KT!

Medication? Oh, yeah! Got to wean off it some more before I try to write Best of Us...
I'm doing great, thanks. Glad you enjoyed this fluff!

Thanks, Wynssa!

Thanks, YK!



I really am a big NERD!

Oh, well...having fun in post-op land...

oldj

 

Hilarious!

 

- You know, after I had surgery, I was on Tylenol with codeine for a while...

This was VERY funny!

So... now that you're feeling MUCH better, when can we expect updates to your OTHER stories?

 

I must wonder what goes on in the mind that makes this sort of thing up....

 

Hilarious job, and I'm with Lola on the meds comment.

 

Glad it made you laugh!

Oh, I'm silly in normal circumstances - the drugs just make it worse!!
Updates on my "real" stories are coming - I'll let the narcotics wear off just a LITTLE bit more, I think...

You REALLY don't want to know...trust me!! Especially with legal pharmaceuticals on board...

Thanks! You and Lola are in the rightful majority. I am still a little loopy.



Never mind, people. I really am getting back to my real self.

oldj

 

LOVED IT. who woulda thought that someone could write a J/J fic and mix it in with Dr.Suess.great job

 

Thanks, Wyn-Fel.

Only someone on drugs, Wyn, only someone on drugs...

Recovering,

oldj

 

I saw the odd combo and I just had to see what was going on... hilarious! Very cute.

 

Funny.

 

Thanks, ShrunkedJedi and ccp - just a bit of fun! Glad you had a laugh.

oldj

 

This is so silly! I was cracking up the entire time I was reading this. I love the Dr Seuss style. It was so completely fitting here.

Great Job!

 

That was great! I love Green Eggs and Ham. It was one of my favorites.

 

Hilarious. I love Dr. Seuss. When I taught preschool, we made green eggs and ham for Dr. Seuss' birthday...

Glad you are feeling better.

 

JediJaina:

This is so silly! I was cracking up the entire time I was reading this. I love the Dr Seuss style. It was so completely fitting here. Great Job!
So glad to have cracked you up. I was feeling silly today. Thanks!


FelsGoddess:

That was great! I love Green Eggs and Ham. It was one of my favorites.
Mine, too! Thanks!


RebelMom:

Hilarious. I love Dr. Seuss. When I taught preschool, we made green eggs and ham for Dr. Seuss' birthday...
I came across some recipes for green eggs and ham when I looked up the text of this piece!

Glad you are feeling better.
I appreciate that - thanks a lot!


oldj

 

Can't...stop...laughing.

You have got some imagination.

I love it.

 

I remember this! (Thanks to whomever up'ed it. )

Go and find blue eyes, brown hair.
I bet you?ll see them everywhere.
[...]
I don?t like blue eyes, brown hair.
I do not like men dark or fair.

*cough DARK NEST cough* (The Joiner King p. 469 and The Swarm War p. 13)

 

::dies...a lot::

That's absolutely one of the funniest things I've read. Oh man. That's awesome.

 

So oldj, remember this?

Even medicated you're amazingly talented.

 

So it was you who dug this one up again, emeraldshadow? LOL! I'm happy that you enjoyed it, and thanks very much!

Thanks for clicking again, Gloria! Caught your references - nice!

I'm pleased to have entertained! Thanks, sticks!

LOL! Yeah, Lola I remember! I was about a week post-op, lying on the sofa, full of prescription meds - and very happy to be feeling so well after surgery. I've absolutely no idea what part of my scrambled brain this came from, but I loved writing it, and its still one of my personal favorites (of course, I'm just an overgrown kid anyway). Thanks for continuing to be so supportive!


[hl=teal]~ A big thank you to those who nominated this as Best Crossover! I'm very pleased that you like it so much![/hl]