Saga Hajii's Children (Tusken POV post-slaughter in AOTC; OCs) It's Aliiive! - Nov. 30

I've managed to get my head and one arm out from under the Bantha of Real Life, so I can at least reply something, even if it isn't the greatest.

Loved the detail of the sand wafting off Maqel's blanket in tiny clouds. Sounds like Anakin was right in AOTC, sand does get everywhere!

It was a mass of colors and sounds and hurts and shadows waiting to spill forth like blood Is Maqel hesitant to talk about his journey because he's afraid he might cause harm or bring bad luck to others? Or to himself? Or is it really just the after-effects of the stranger's words to him, that he still wants to forget? Interesting dilemma here!

All things that meant he was not alone were precious. A wonderful thought -- a wonderful sentence.

It sounds like Maqel has gone through more than just one trial -- definitely more than enough to call himself a man now. What a recitation of trials -- whew!

At the mention of Lavanh's son, Maqel's first thought was Thief! If that boy really is the son of Lavanh ... makes you wonder what his father is really like. But there's been no reason yet to dislike or distrust Lavanh ...

 

I?ve decided that when I grow up, I want to be able to write like this. (Since I passed 40 a couple of years ago, I guess I?d better get hustling, right? )

I realize I?m supremely late in commenting on this story, but the only real excuses I have are that a) summer and autumn are the busiest times of year in my job, and b) the first time I read this story I was so awed by it that I couldn?t type a coherent sentence to review it properly. I finally printed it out so I could read it before going to bed. (And I have to add that I?m not doing that again. That part where you described Maqel?s dreams? You know, with people?s heads falling off and rolling around? [face_shocked] That was so freaky that I was almost afraid to go to sleep afterward....)

You commented about how the first part of the story was different from the rest. I thought that opening prologue was wonderful, told in a sweeping, majestic voice that makes it sound like a legend that would really be told somewhere by people sitting around a campfire under a night sky. I must say that you have a real gift for creating legends and myths.

I enjoy stories that are out of the ordinary, and this one is truly unique. I think it?s high time someone told a story like this from the Tuskans? point of view. I also love stories that delve into non-human cultures and customs, and you?ve done a splendid job with that here: Tatooine?s suns have their own names and personalities, the moons have the task of Sentinals, right down to Lavanh?s comment about Imu not having foaled (which if memory serves me correctly, usually happens around the time a bantha?s bonded Tuskan partner has a child). Somebody?s done her homework.....

It was interesting to see the parallel between Tuskan culture and the interplay between Hajii and Nejii, where the woman (women) seemed to do nothing of her (their) own volition and yet always made her (their) thoughts known (like Asi-na?). Maqel seems to show Nejii equal respect, despite her supposedly subservient role in the legends.

Imu is a wonderful character. Desert animals know how to survive, and Maqel could do a lot worse than trust his bantha?s judgement. She certainly is a patient creature....

Will we ever get a description of Maqel or one of the other Tuskans without all their wrappings? I have to confess I?m a bit curious.

I realize that this story has a real plot and everything, but I?ve been busy enjoying the nuances of culture and Maqel?s thought processes, so I?ll save comments on that for another time.

 

up

 

ARRRGGGHHH. Okay, due to the sithly time-change glitch I was unable to put the new post up yesterday, and due to Darth School I'm unable to put it up right now--but the new post will be up later tonight. Sorry for the wait.

 

Well, it?s almost still Sunday. School?s getting to me, guys. I have been a terribly inconsistent author and I apologize. I propose, since this is the second week in a row I?ve delivered the Saturday post late, that I just make ?weekend? my regular post date and abolish the Wednesday post altogether, at least till I get caught up with some other things. How does that sound? Is one post a week too little, or will it be easier to keep up with the story that way?

Halloween? Pah! I flaunt the temptation to do this week?s responses in black and orange! (Instead I will do them in the witchy greens of my icon!)

Sach: He?s definitely been through enough to qualify in my book. I think whether or not others would agree might depend on who you?re asking.

Shaindl: Heya! I was wondering how you were doing. Drat that DRL. He?s been bothering me too, of late?maybe a slowed-down posting schedule is in order? Don?t worry too much about replying. I?ll know you?re reading.

JMB: It could be very bad indeed. We?ll just have to wait and see. I like Imu, too.

Jane: Is it something about October that brings out Real Life, or just an unlucky coincidence?

But there's been no reason yet to dislike or distrust Lavanh ...

Tell me what you think after this one. There will, I promise, be many more opportunities to assess Lavanh?s character.

Seldes:

I don?t know what to say, exactly?I am really, really honored that you?ve gotten so much out of this story. And I am so pleased that you?re here now, forget the coming-in-late business!

Maqel seems to show Nejii equal respect, despite her supposedly subservient role in the legends.

Maqel pays close attention to the legends, and close attention to the things that actually happen to him. He wants to get things right.

Imu is a wonderful character. Desert animals know how to survive, and Maqel could do a lot worse than trust his bantha?s judgement. She certainly is a patient creature....

I?m glad you like her! I was afraid Imu would be boring, because she?s terribly, well, consistent. I love her too, though.

Will we ever get a description of Maqel or one of the other Tuskans without all their wrappings? I have to confess I?m a bit curious.

As was I as I started this story, since I couldn?t find a description anywhere I looked. I toyed around with many, many possibilities before settling on my personal version of what Tuskens look like underneath?and I promise you?ll get to see at least part of it.

Blended: Thanks for the up!


Here be more.



~*~

Someone rustled at the tent flap. Lavanh moved to see who it was.

?Ah,? he said, ?Paniyt. Come in.?

The small woman who slipped inside did not speak, but proffered a bowl of food to Maqel, her bantha-tusk bracelets clinking as she did so.

?What do you say, Maqel?? Lavanh asked, growing cheerful. ?Will you take food??

Maqel?s stomach answered for him, but he spoke anyway. ?I will try.?

?Good!? said Lavanh. The woman?Paniyt?set the bowl down and moved to leave, but Lavanh reached out and caught her wrist. ?Stay, daughter of Hajii,? he said. ?Fresh company will speed Maqel?s recovery.?

The woman obeyed, though her form looked distinctly tense as she seated herself.

So quiet, thought Maqel. So unlike Asi-na?loud Asi-na, stupid Asi-na, foolish Asi-na?but still she was cheerful, and had always a laugh to share unless she was vexed with you. Poor Asi-na.

He realized that Lavanh had been talking while he had been remembering.

??a good woman, our Paniyt, and will make some man a good wife. My son, if he survives.? And he patted Paniyt on the shoulder wit

 

Cool post. A dishonourable Tusken tribe? I smell trouble on the desert wind...

 

Ooooh, I do like this Paniyt very much. And I love how she immediately turns to Maqel for guidance when she's in a moral dilemma, of sorts.

Gets more interesting every day, Mina-lady

 

Hi Mina!

You do create interesting characters. Paniyt is a nice counterpoint to Maqel. I'll be interested to see your take on what Tuskens look like under their wrappings. I don't know that I've seen anyone attempt that before. Great job, and no, once a week posts are just fine. Good luck beating back DRL.

Shaindl

 

Oooh, do I spy a love interest?

This tribe doesn't look too good. Poor Maqel. Why can he not feed himself by now, are his hands hurt?

 

Mina, let me reiterate in public what I said in my last PM: someone in Lucas's organization should be sending you money for this one, it's that good!

One of the things I really liked about this last post is your ability to create a range of personality types that still remain "Tuskan" in character. Paniyt is quite the contrast to Asi-na, as you mentioned. Maqel is different from his friends Shumi and Zev. (And where do you get the names for these folks?)

Maqel was surprised. ?It is unseemly for an unmarried man and an unmarried woman to be left alone together,? he said by way of reminder, though he did not really think Lavanh could have forgotten so basic a rule. Well, and here I thought I was the only person who adhered to that rule these days....

One of the things I really appreciate in this story is the strong spiritual aspect displayed by Maqel, Paniyt, and the style of narration. I can't imagine going through life without some form of spirituality, even one as different from my own as this one. Interesting that Maqel finds himself connecting to Paniyt through their shared knowledge of legends and "religion". I noticed was that Paniyt "traced a pattern there with her fingertip" before she answered Maqel's questions. Yet another Biblical reference? Or perhaps I'm just reading too much into that sentence....

My thoughts on the issue of posting frequency is to do what makes you comfortable. If your schedule only allows for posting once a week, then do that. I doubt any of us are going to stop reading just because you only post once a week, rather than twice. Besides, posting once a week means this story will last twice as long, and I can't complain about that!

 

Great post.

Hmm, so that boy is the son. Not surprised.

Maqel and Panyit. I could see that relationship.

 

I think this excellent fic needs a BUMP!

 

I can't believe I missed this post! It can't be something about October that brings out Real Life, it must be something about ... Real Life.

I don't know what to think about Lavanh here. Well, I do know what to think about him and that is "dishonourable." But I don't understand what he's doing. First he says that Paniyt should stay and that fresh company will speed Maqel's recovery. In the next sentence, he's talking about how Paniyt will marry his son, if the son survives. Later, he practically forces Paniyt on Maqel. It can't be that he's forgotten the rules of propiety -- more like he is deliberately ignoring them. I wonder why he's doing this, if Paniyt is betrothed to his son. It's almost as though he wants them to get up to something, but why? Is the answer in Maqel's statement? "We cannot be accused of any evil then." Does Lavanh want them to be accused of evil? Or is he simply trying to corrupt two people who follow the rules, because they remind him that he is not following the rules and he doesn't like feeling guilty? A difficult situation!

Paniyt sounds like a special kind of person, respecting the rules of propiety and honour even though she's been with this dishonourable tribe for five years now. That takes a lot of inner strength. Sounds like she'd be good for Maqel and much too good for Ghanav. If he survives. If he does survive, I'm sure it will be in a less than honourable way.

Seldes Katne Well, and here I thought I was the only person who adhered to that rule these days.... You, too? I thought I was the only one!

I also like the idea of Paradise for the Tuskens. Perhaps it's the spirituality of this fic that drew me in, along with the excellent writing of course. Let me second Seldes' comment that you should be paid for writing like this.

 

UP!

 

UP!

 

Hmm, I hope we'll be seeing more story soon. I'm totally hooked.

And apologies to all the avid readers who get an active topic notice on this story and are annoyed to find it is just babbling little old me and not an actual story post.

Hope all is well with you, Wilhelmina, and that you will have a chance to post more soon.

KD

 

Hello, everyone.

Don?t believe anyone who tells you that April is the cruelest month. I know from experience that it is November. Or maybe, as Jane says, it?s just Real Life.

But November, or that deluge of Real Life, is nearly over; a new post is here (yay!); and, God willing, there will be no more such delays before the story is finished.

Thanks to everybody for sticking with the story, even when I couldn?t.

Blended: What a clever nose you have. Thanks for the up!

Saché: Thankee.

Shaindl: Thanks! I?m glad you like Paniyt. Believe it or not, she?s been a troublesome character to write.

Cat: A love interest? Where? Maqel?s hands aren?t hurt?the reason he hasn?t been feeding himself is mentioned in the post below. And thanks for the bumps!

Seldes: You can really make a person?s day, you know that? As to the names: Some of them are Hebrew words, transliterated; some are Hebrew words, transliterated and tweaked a bit to suit me; and some are just inventions of mine, made to suit the story and to ?match? the other names. If I told you which names were which, you might end up with some pretty straightforward hints about some of the characters? personalities. I chose Hebrew because I?ve studied it, and love the language, and moreover the sound of the words seemed to suit the story.

Well, and here I thought I was the only person who adhered to that rule these days...

You?re not alone.

JMB: Yep. Ghanav and Lavanh are a lot alike in some respects.

Jane: After a month like this, I will never be impatient with anyone who drops out of sight again. Worried, yes; impatient, no!

While I don?t think the story will go into all the motivations for Lavanh?s behavior, I think the next post might help to explain it somewhat.

I?m glad you like Paniyt, too!

KD: Welcome to the story! Glad you decided to come in. Thanks for your concern, and here is some ?more soon?.


~*~

By the time Paniyt finished the story, the stew had gone cold, but Lavanh had not yet returned.

?I wonder why he takes so long,? said Maqel.

Paniyt said nothing.

?Do you know?? asked Maqel. ?Or can you guess??

Paniyt bowed her head. ?I know only how he has behaved in the past,? she said softly, ?he and all this tribe.?

?How?? asked Maqel, shoving away the stew he had been poking at with the spoon.

?They?? Paniyt trailed off as soon as she had begun, seeming to be making her mind up about something. ?They suffered very dearly, some years ago, from a disease in the camp, or so I have been told,? she said then. To Maqel it sounded like an apology.

?Go on,? he said, sitting up straight.

?In order to survive, they have since taken in every child of Hajii that was lost or abandoned or alone, if there was hope that he would be able to strengthen the tribe. They have taken such excellent care of me these five years because they believe I will make Ghanav a good wife and bear him many children.?

?There is nothing to condemn in that,? said Maqel, and repeated the first rule. ?Hajii?s children must survive.?

?But that is not all,? said Paniyt, tentatively. There was a hitch in her voice. ?Any child of Hajii who cannot strengthen the tribe, who becomes lost from the tribe or is mortally ill or wounded, or otherwise unable to contribute, they cut off without remorse. I have seen it.? She shuddered. ?They do not care if a man has honor or not, but only if he can wield a gaderfii and father children.? She was definitely upset now. ?If Ghanav is dead or lost for good?as you see Lavanh fears he i

 

Yay! The story continues. And I get 1st reply!

Uh-oh. What's going to happen when Lavanh hears about his son? Still it was good that Maqel was able to tell Paniyt about what had happened to him.

 

Mina!

So glad you came back to this! You have such a gift with words it would have been a true shame if it hadn't been continued. I understand completely about how terrible November was though - mine was exactly the same way. I hope life calms down for you over the next while.

As for the post, it was just as lyrical as the others. I wonder how Lavanh will react to the death of his son (if it was him)? Paniyt is turning into a lovely character, now that her shell has been broken. I'm curious though - why is she difficult to write?

Lovely job, and I hope you'll be back with another post soon.

Shaindl

 

BTW, I just nominated you for most underrated story (I think it just squeaks into that category!)

I though this pic might interest you. It's almost an illustration!

 

Wow, coolo posto. That tribe is starting to scare me. THey're no cannibals, are they?

You speak Hebrew? Cool. I should do, bu I don't fluently. I cn read it though.

It fits in that category? *runs off to vote*

 

Cat: Awesome pic! And thanks for the nom.

Edit for brevity: Yes, it's eligible. If anyone disagrees, they can nominate and/or vote for the story they think is more deserving. It'll work itself out in the end.
/end edit

That said, all of you, be ye regular reviewers or no, should go nominate your favorite stories and authors for the Winter 2003 Awards, and help them be a lot of fun for all involved.

 

Great post Wilhelmina

So the truth comes out. Hmm, I wonder how Lavanh will take it. Why do I get the feeling it might not go over well?

 

Sorry I'm late, I've been a bit stressed lately with the newsletter and real life.

So, this tribe is going for quantity over quality, huh? They do not care if a man has honor or not, but only if he can wield a gaderfii and father children. Now that is sad! And what good does it do them?

I suppose these tribes don't have much contact to each other, so this tribe wouldn't have to worry about being shunned or looked down on by others, would they?

So Hajii's rules are that the tribe should take care of the old and infirm and not cut them off without remorse? And this tribe is doing it all wrong? That's sad. Maqel should take Paniyt and get out of there as fast as possible. I liked the way she listened patiently and without becoming alarmed as he told her the story.

a rush of wind like a cleansing breath Ah. Maqel did the right thing, talking to her.

Maqel did not think a wild faybo with its tail on fire could have matched Paniyt for speed as she exited the tent. LOL!

I still have a bad feeling about Lavanh, though -- I have the idea that he'll try even harder to force a marriage between Maqel and Paniyt now that he knows about his son.

Edit: Just had a horrible thought last night as I was drifting off to sleep. If Paniyt had an accident of some sort that left her handicapped, the members of the tribe wouldn't hesitate to slit her throat, would they?

 

I am very glad that Maqel was brave enough to tell his story to both Paniyt and Lavanh. Now the question is, how will Lavanh react? I'm a little bit worried.

Yes! Go nominate! I myself have nominated this excellent story for four categories:

• Best Saga Era- Drama



• Best Original Character in a Leading Role (Maqel)



• Most Imaginitive Story



• Best Overall Story of the Winter

and finally, Wilhelmina for best author, because I'm her biggest fan.