Saga Han Solo and Chewbacca but Captain Kirk is there for some reason.

Title: Han Solo and Chewbacca but Captain Kirk is there for some reason.
Subtitle: Probably the worst thing I'll ever write
Author: S_Heffley
Genre: Humor
Notes: Did this to fulfill a promise to @christophero30. I might continue the story if I'm crazy.

Tatooine

Chewbacca grumbled.

“Yes Chewie,” said Han as they sped down the sandy dunes of Tatooine, “We’re almost there.”

Han was always glad to have his Wookiee friend by his side, but his impatience could be annoying at times.

Solo was dragged out of his thoughts by a loud roar on Chewies end, and he slammed on the brakes. Up ahead, a man had appeared. A man that hadn’t been there a few seconds ago, Han was sure of it. The man wore an orange shirt which blended in with the sand. If it hadn’t been for Chewbacca’s alarm, he would have slammed right into him at full force. As it was, the speeder slowed until they stopped face to face with the man.

The man stood, alert. He looked from Han to Chewbacca and back.

“Mister, you can’t just jump in front of moving speeders like that!” Han yelled to the strange man. But as he studied the man closer, Han began to be put off. He had been to many places in the galaxy. Never had he seen attire like this guy was wearing.

Quickly, the mysterious figure whipped out a strange device and spoke into it. “Kirk to Enterprise,” He said. “Kirk to Enterprise,” he repeated. “Come in, Enterprise.” Han and Chewie continued to watch, curiously. They had practically been stunned into silence. This man, Kirk, seemed to be trying to communicate with what must be his ship. But his comlink was of no kind Han had ever seen. Kirk then put his device back where he had taken it from his hip. Then he did something unexpected. He turned to the sky and screamed. “Listen, I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing! But I won’t play it! Release me and we’ll talk terms!” His voice echoed, but apparently whatever he was hoping for never came. He just stood there, dejected.

“Hey,” said Han Solo, after he had regained his wits. “I don’t know about the planet you come from, but the sky here doesn’t talk.” He stepped out of the speeder. “Now could you please tell me what you’re doing here and maybe we can…”

He suddenly noticed that Kirk had a weapon pointed towards him.

“Hey, hey-” began Han.

“I don’t know what the Klingons put you up to, but I don’t trust it,” Kirk said.

“Klingons? What the hell are you talking about, Klingons? I ain’t never heard of no Klingons! Chewie, any idea what he’s talking about?”

Chewie grumbled and shook his head.

“See?” said Han. “Now put that thing down and we can talk this out.”

Kirk considered the proposition for a second, and the weapon he was holding dropped slightly. The he raised it again and said, “I still don’t trust you, Solo.”

“Solo! How do you know me? One of Jabba’s agents?”

“You’re just…” Kirk hesitated, “Very well known in the galaxy.”

“Yeah, right. Once again, put away whatever that is, or this time I’ll send my Wookiee friend after you.”

Once again, Kirk thought about it. Finally, he said. “No, I won’t play this Klingon game.”

At that, Chewie growled with rage, and charged at Kirk. Kirk was quicker, however, and turned to fire a yellow laser beam at the Wookiee. Han was shocked at the way the weapon worked, being completely different than anything he had ever seen. But he was more shocked at the way his friend dropped down at the hit.

“You killed him!” Han yelled.

“No-” Kirk began, but he never finished the rest of the sentence. Han had pounced on him, knocking the weapon out of his hand. The two fell and were then rolling around on the sand, trading blows. Kirk landed a knee on Han’s left side, Han landed a punch on the side of Kirk’s head. The two continued to tussle and roll. They rolled into a large rock, where Kirk’s shirt got caught and ripped down near his abdomen.

“Just tell Jabba I need more time!” Han said as they rustled.

“And you can tell your Klingons that I won’t do this any longer!”

The two continued to roll, and Han believed he had the upper hand. What he didn’t know was that he had played directly into Kirk’s hands. Kirk had rolled them continuously into one direction. The direction of where he had dropped his weapon. As they reached the point, Solo felt something press against his head.

“Now get up, and tell me what the Klingons are doing here.”

Han stood up as he was told, though he had no idea what he was supposed to tell Kirk.

Before he could say anything, however, he heard a crackly voice coming from the device on Kirk’s hip, which had seemed to magically survive the fight. “Spock to Captain Kirk. Come in Captain Kirk.”

Kirk unhooked the device, “This is Kirk. I tried to communicate with you earlier. Where were you?”

“It seems when you beamed down a rift in space opened, and we almost lost you. We have been able to penetrate the rift, but we have a limited time frame. Can we beam you up now?”

“Yes, I’m ready.”

“Alright.”

Han stared on in amazement.

Kirk said, “By the way, I didn’t kill your friend. I only stunned him.” He was then enveloped in a golden light and was gone.

Han looked over at Chewie, who was beginning to stir. He stood up, and asked what happened while he was down. Han told him the full story.

Chewbacca grumbled.

“I agree. We should stop at Mos Eisley Cantina before we leave. This fighting people from alternate realities thing is thirsty business.”

The Enterprise

Kirk materialized on the transporter platform.

“Good to see you back, Captain,” said the transporter chief Kyle. “We were all afraid we lost you for a little bit there, sir.”

“It’s good to be back, Kyle,” Kirk said. He then made his way to the bridge. He would need medical treatment and a new uniform eventually, but he knew his bridge officers must be insanely curious to know what he had seen.

But as he neared the bridge, he realized telling the whole truth was a bad idea. He would trust only two men, Spock and Bones, with what had really gone on down there. It was up to them to believe him or not.

He entered the bridge. Although the crew was going about their duties, he felt the air of expectations as he entered.

Spock spotted him. “Captain, I’m sure you know we are all curious what it was like down there.”

“Yes,” said Kirk, addressing the whole crew. “It was the complete opposite of what the reports indicated. While the reports showed a large forested Class M planet, I beamed down to a barren rock with hardly any vegetation. I was lucky the air was still breathable.”

“Fascinating,” said Spock. “You would wish to get to Sickbay now, I presume.”

“Of course,” said Kirk. “But first, I would like to speak with you in private, Spock” The two retreated to a secluded corner. “What I said about the planet, a complete lie.”

“Why would you wish to be untruthful, Captain?” asked Spock.

“Because the truth is entirely unbelievable.”

“Yet you wish to tell the truth to me?”

“Exactly.”

“Well, I’m listening.”

Kirk hesitated, but finally said it, “Spock, have you ever heard of that really old movie Star Wars?”

Spock thought for a bit. “I am not familiar with that form of entertainment, Captain.”

Kirk sighed, “That’s probably for the better, Spock. That’s probably for the better.”

 

You fulfilled your promise

 

Has a fangirl melt down because of Han and Kirk and Spock in the same fic! Yum!

 

Giving me some good crossover ideas.....

 

A funny crossover with a lot of misunderstandings and emotional reactions. If Spock would have been down there on Tatooine soil we would have a much more logical, yet boring story.

 

Good and funny. I am a bit confused, however. If Kirk knew of Star Wars, then why did he suspect the Klingons were playing a trick on him? He could have trusted Han and they could have spoken about things. Of course, that's what Picard would have done. Kirk goes right for the phaser.

 

I like it, the character's personalities seem pretty spot on, and it is funny. You should write more on this, I'd read it.

 

Kirk knew Star Wars as fiction, he wouldn't believe it that he was actually in the world.

Either that, or I was just writing a stupid story and didn't really care about plot holes, like why Kirk was beaming down to the planet by himself in the first place. You decide.

 

Because Kirk's a bad mo- all right, I'll stop right there.

And because he always goes RIGHT for the phaser...

Humor needs not to know the bounds of logic, sir. Please, continue, should the muse decide to bite.

And, can you direct me to the naval base in Alameda?
It's across the bay... In Alameda. Duh!

 

Kirk could have just been separated from the rest of the landing party. You know how it goes, beam down to a planet, get separated, leave a trail of red shirts, then beam back up.

 

He's beamed down alone to a planet once or twice during the run of the TOS.

I was holding back laughter the entire time so my BIL wouldn't give me funny looks but a few muffled chuckles escaped.

If you do more that's fine but you seemed to have left it at a good place.

 

I and I haven't even watched Star Trek before

 

Lol, me either but I know a little bit about it

 

Transition into Part Two: The thing that no one asked for. I have no idea why I'm writing it!

This one turned out more generic. There'll be more comedy in the actual part two, promise.

Tatooine

As the speeder went towards Mos Eisley, Han replayed everything that had happened in his mind. While he didn’t exactly know what a “rift in space” was, he could still piece together that, as impossible as it sounded, the man who had come through it was from a different universe. Everything about him, his clothes, the technology he used, was so impossibly foreign there was hardly any other explanation.

But there was still one question which pressed on Han’s mind…

Solo, Kirk had called him Solo.

How the heck had he known his name was Solo?

He kept replaying the moment, wondering if it had just been a coincidence. But the more he thought about it, the more it became painfully obvious that Kirk had known who he was.

How?

He thought and thought, but eventually gave up. All he could do was accept that he might never get that answer and focus on his problems with that greedy Jabba the Hutt.

The Enterprise

“Did I hear you correctly, Captain?” asked Spock. “You want to go back in the rift?”

“I know it sounds crazy,” said Kirk. “Actually, it is crazy. But Bones is a huge fan.”

“I knew you wouldn’t be able to understand, Spock,” added Bones. “You never had any damn fun as a child. I used to run around like I was in these movies. Now, I have the chance to actually be there.”

“The rift is unstable,” stated Spock, ignoring McCoy’s jab in Vulcan-like fashion, “It is too risky to send you two back through, no matter how big of a ‘fan’ you are.”

“Spock, I always value your advice, but I was only asking for you to plot the safest way for us to go back in, not to tell us if it was safe,” Kirk said.

“And since this is on the subject of leisure rather than an official Starfleet mission, I have every right to refuse,” Spock said coldly. “I’m sorry, captain, I will not risk it.”

Kirk sighed, “Well, that’s it then. I guess McCoy won’t have his greatest birthday ever tomorrow after all,” he added, hoping to tug at Spock’s heartstrings. Then he remembered who he was talking to as Spock gave him a strange look. “Nevermind. Meeting adjourned.”

The three dispersed, Spock to take over the bridge for the night and the other two to get some rest.

As Kirk fell asleep, he was sad that his friend wouldn’t receive his greatest birthday present ever, but also not surprised. He had known that convincing Spock would be almost impossible from the start.

Suddenly, he was shaken awake, and saw Bones standing above him. Alongside him was Engineer Montgomery Scott. Bones looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept at all, and Scotty wasn’t faring much better.

“Scotty and I just spent the whole night monitoring the rift,” Bones said.

“Aye sir,” said Scotty, “Doctor McCoy came to me with his story, and I couldn’t resist helping him out. I believe Mr. Spock was just being protective. The rift, while certainly not exactly safe, shows no signs of imminent collapse or prolonged closure. We should be able to get you in and out just fine.”

“Now quick,” demanded Bones, “We gotta slip out under that cold Vulcan’s nose.”

The three of them made their way to the transporter room. “I don’t relish the idea of leaving Spock in the dark,” Kirk said to McCoy as they walked, “but at the same time, happy birthday, Bones.”

 

May this story live long and prosper.

 

Good old Scotty to the rescue! I'd trust his advice as easily as Spock's, for most things. I wonder what Bones will do when Kirk romances all the hot Twi'lek girls out from under him?

 

I had a feeling that they would go behind Spock's back to go visit the Star Wars Galaxy; but honestly who wouldn't want to at least visit for a few hours? They just need to not bring certain things up that could corrupt the timeline.

I will say though that i will serve them right if they get stuck there for any length in time because they underestimated just how much of a warning they would have to return.

 

Well, it’s here. Over a month later This one is partially based on an idea from @Ingram_I , having Kirk and Han admire some ladies together. The actual remnants of that idea are slim, but, well, you’ll see.

Tatooine

Kirk and Bones materialized in a hustle and bustle of activity. He had let Bones decide where they would go. He had had trouble deciding between two locations to beam to, but had eventually decided on this one. There wasn’t much to do at the other location, Jabba’s Palace, anyway, Bones decided. They wouldn’t be able to make it into the palace itself, only observe from the outside. Here, Mos Eisley, they could do much more.

Bones stared around in amazement. “This is almost too good to be real. I’m speechless. No one is messing with us, are they?”

“That’s what I thought at first,” Kirk started, before he was momentarily distracted by a passing, quite attractive alien. “But, as far as I’m aware,” he said as he began to turn back to Bones, “Bones?”

His friend wasn’t standing where he had been just a few moments ago.

“Bones?” he asked again. How far could he have gotten in just a few seconds? Or was I distracted longer than I thought? Thought Kirk.

Eventually, Kirk spotted Bones wandering away across the street. He almost appeared to be in a trance.

Kirk jogged to catch up with him, “Bones? What are you doing?”

“That music…” Bones mumbled, “I know that music…”

Kirk listened, and he heard the tune which the doctor was so attracted to. He, too, recognized the song. And if it led them to the place where Kirk thought it would…

“I have a bad feeling about this,” said Kirk.

And then they were there, the legendary cantina. Kirk was afraid to go in, remembering the type of scum that visited this place. But McCoy was eager to see it for himself, and, well, it was his birthday.

The pair entered. While their strange appearance in starfleet uniforms got a few strange looks, no one rushed up to throw them out. Kirk would’ve preferred to garner a little disguise, but in their haste to avoid Spock they sort of forgot about that.

Kirk glanced around. This place was iconic. He saw the famous cantina band, playing away at the melody that had attracted Bones here (Do they ever stop playing that? wondered Kirk). He saw people crowded around the bar, some of them the captain even thought he recognized.

But sitting at a table in the corner were two people he most certainly recognized: Chewbacca and Kirk’s old rival Han Solo.

Still Tatooine, but from Han’s perspective

Han jumped when he saw who had come through the door.

Chewie gave a confused grumble.

“Look,” Han pointed, “It’s our favorite dimension traveler. And he’s brought a friend.”

When Kirk first came in, it was obvious that he had noticed Han. Now he was seemingly trying to avoid eye contact, hoping that Han hadn’t seen him.

Chewbacca suggested just leaving the man alone.

“No way,” Han said, “I’ve got some questions. He’s not getting away that easily.” Han stood and began walking towards Kirk. Chewie gave a slightly angry growl and followed.

As he drew closer, Han realized that it was not out of avoidance that Kirk had looked away. At least, that wasn’t what was holding his attention now. He was now staring at a group of female Twi’leks sitting at a table. Meanwhile, Kirk’s friend was pacing around. He picked up an empty cup, inspected it, and put it back down. He then got down to his hands and knees and checked up on one of the chairs. Han decided not to question him too much.

Han came sneakily up behind Kirk (mostly just for dramatic effect) and asked, “Enjoying the view, are you?”

Kirk turned towards Han and gave an awkward nod. Then he looked back at the Twi’leks.

“Are you trying to avoid me?” Han said boldly.

Kirk just pointed to one of the ladies, “What do you think of that one Han? The blue one on the right, scale of one to ten.”

“Well, I’d say…” Han began, before stopping himself, “Don’t try and change the subject.”

“Bones, what do you think of her?” Kirk asked his friend.

“I’m a bit busy right now, Jim,” said Bones, who had now taken interest in part of the wall.

“How about the big furry guy. What do you think?” asked Kirk.

Chewie said something not very nice.

“I agree, she’s around that,” Kirk said, and he looked back at the table.

“Listen,” Han said, “I don’t know why you’re doing this, but if you just answer a few of my questions, I’ll be on my merry way.”

Kirk didn’t say anything.

“First of all, how did you know my name?”

“How about that one, what do you rank her?” asked Kirk, pointing to a green Twi’lek.

Han didn’t care who Kirk was pointing to, because he had had enough. Han let a punch fly straight at Kirk’s noggin.

There was a couple of gasps from the cantina patrons as Kirk flew to the floor. Bones pried himself away from whatever he was inspecting to help his friend up, but Chewie stopped him.

“There’s a lot more where that came from,” said Han.

Kirk stood. “Fine, I’ll answer your questions,” he said.

Then suddenly, Kirk launched himself in a surprise attack on Solo, and they began fight number two. Bones tried to push his way past Chewbacca to break this thing up, but, shockingly, the Wookiee was stronger.

Many of the customers in the Cantina cheered and clapped as the fury of punches, kicks, and slightly awkward chops from Kirk flew. The fight was as evenly matched as their first one, but Han eventually gained the upper hand. Laying on top of Kirk, having him pinned down, Han asked, “Now tell me, how did you know my name?”

At that moment, he felt himself being pulled up, and placed on his feet. Han turned to find himself facing a strange alien with sharp eyebrows and very pointy ears.

Instead of addressing Han, the alien went over to Kirk. “Captain, it was a very foolish thing, coming here.”

“Spock?” Kirk said, as the man helped him up “I could say the same to you.”

“Something was interfering with our communicators. I had to come to you in person,” Spock said. Chewie had let go of Bones, who was now checking on Kirk. Spock lowered his voice so the rest of the cantina couldn’t hear, “We must go. The rift is closing.”

“Scotty said it was safe.”

“Scotty was wrong.”

“Hold up,” said Han, now raising his blaster, “None of you are going anywhere until I get some answers to my questions.”

“There is no need for violence. What is troubling you?” asked Spock.

“When I met Kirk, he called me Solo. How could a man from another universe know my name?”

Spock looked at Kirk, then back at Han, “He didn’t tell you? He is not the first one to come here.”

Han processed this, “Really?”

“Yes,” Spock said. “There was a woman trapped here for many months. She learned a lot about your universe before she was rescued. She also learned of you.”

“Of me? I’m just a simple scoundrel.”

“Evidently not.”

“So, I’m pretty well known where you come from, huh?”

“Not necessarily. The woman’s general story is well known, but not the details. Kirk is close to the woman, so he has heard most of what she gathered.”

Han directed his next question at Kirk, “And why did you keep trying to avoid my question? And why did you come back?”

“I…” Kirk said, “I didn’t want you to think this was a common occurrence. That everyone walking around here could be from our universe. As for why we came back, my friend Bones here is also close to the woman. He wanted to see it with his own eyes. It was dangerous, but it’s his birthday.”

While it was a lot to take in, Han was satisfied. He nodded. “That’s all I needed to know.” Out of questions, Han turned to Bones, “And you,” he said, “Happy Birthday, from your favorite smuggler.”

Bones let out a grin so large, Han hoped his mouth wouldn’t fall off.

“Nice talking to you folks. Come on Chewie, let grab a few more drinks and then we’ll be out of here.”

Still Tatooine, but back in Kirk’s perspective

Scared as Kirk was that Spock would unleash whatever form of Vulcan wrath there was once they got back to the Enterprise, he was thankful that his friend had showed up when he did. He was especially thankful that Spock had provided a cover story when he couldn’t.

“How did you do it Spock? Come up with that whole story so quickly?”

“I had considered the possibility that you may have run into Han again beforehand, but we’ll discuss this more when we get back to the ship. Based on estimates, we have very little time before the rift closes.”

The trio began to make their way out.

But the surprises weren’t over yet. They passed a couple of folk on their way out that made Kirk have to push Bones out of the way so they wouldn’t see his excitement.

As they made their way out the door, they heard a yell behind them, “Hey! We don’t serve their kind here.”

Bones went into a rally, “We're not just in any scene, Jim, we’re in the scene!”

“Bones, we can’t stay,” said Kirk.

“Spock, how much time do we have? Can’t we stick around a little, not even to see, you know, who shoots first?”

“I’m sorry, doctor. We have an estimated,” he checked a chronometer, “thirty seconds! We must run.”

They ran to the nearest secluded location they could find. It drew a couple of stares from passersby, but it was better than being stuck there forever.

“Enterprise, three to beam up,” said Spock. Kirk hoped that whatever communication problem Spock had had in contacting them wouldn’t matter now.

The suspense built, until the three of them were dematerialized and whisked away to the Enterprise.

The Enterprise

Bones, Kirk, and Spock sat in the debriefing room.

“I can’t believe it, Spock,” said Bones, “You actually told a lie.”

“To save an entire timeline from being disrupted more than it already had? It was only logical.”

Bones scoffed, “And here I thought you actually cared. Logic.”

“Logic is what saved your life, doctor.”

Kirk smiled, “And for that, we thank you immensely. We owe you one.”

“You certainly do ‘owe me one,’ Captain. You put yourself in deliberate danger. I am your first officer. If you had been hurt, it would’ve been me taking the blame.”

“So what are you gonna do, report us?” asked Bones.

“As much as I would like to,” Spock said, “I do not believe you have violated any official Starfleet regulations.” After a bit of a pause, he added, “Besides, it is your birthday.”

Bones smiled, “Maybe there is some human in you after all.”

Kirk laughed, “I wouldn’t count on it, Bones.”

There was a little bit of a silence, before Bones said, “Now, I got to see more of the Star Wars galaxy today than any man in history, but I’m still a bit disappointed we didn’t get a chance to even look at Skywalker and Kenobi a little more.”

“You are referring to the ones we passed on the way out, correct? The one with the golden droid?” asked Spock.

“Correct, Spock. Trying to brush up on your trivia?”

“That is not why I asked. That droid, I had a confrontation with him coming in.”

“Wait, a second, what?”

“Yes, and we had a most interesting conversation.”

Coming soon (hopefully sometime before 2020): Spock and C-3PO Extravaganza

 

Loved this! And you bet the next update better come before 2020! Because you can't tell us Spock had an interesting conversation with C-3P0, and then leave us hanging for a whole year! You just can't do that!

 

Good stuff. It'll be interesting to hear what Spock and Goldenrod talked about.

 

I agree with @Cowgirl Jedi 1701. You better write on, because I would love to see/ read that conversation!

 

Spock and 3PO had a conversation? I'm almost afraid to ask how it went but I don't doubt it was amusing on some level or other.

 

Huh, I didn't even realize yesterday was the one year anniversary of this entire story. I wonder if that's why I suddenly got the inspiration to complete this thing Has it seriously been like, 8 months I've been leaving you all hanging Assuming anyone still cares haha Anyway, enjoy

Tatooine

Spock ran through the streets of the town. He did not usually get so heated about things, being from Vulcan and all. But this… this was making his human side get very close to tipping. Ever since Scotty came to him with the news of the rift closing, the situation had deteriorated. At first it didn’t matter to him at all… until the engineer informed him that the captain and Dr. McCoy had beamed down against his suggestion. And then they couldn’t establish communications, and Spock finally had to beam down himself. A few of the local vendors had seen the pair, and pointed him in the right direction. He had walked off almost furiously.

If he were to use a human expression, he would tell his friends, “I told you so.”

Spock turned a corner and almost fell over a little droid.

“Excuse me sir! But we really must be getting around you!” said a golden droid alongside the one he had almost tripped over. Behind them stood an old man and a boy who could not even be twenty.

Spock was taken aback. This thing was so obviously mechanical, yet he, somehow, showed so much… emotion?

“Intriguing. Do most droids in this galaxy show emotion?” asked Spock.

“Well, not all of us. R2 here sometimes has trouble showing it to… wait, what do you mean ‘in this galaxy?’”

Spock struggled to remember the name of the planet he was on, “This… place. Almost like another galaxy.”

“But you act as if you have never seen a doid before!” the droid responded.

Spock struggled for an explanation. “My family is poor.”

“Well, obviously, they could’ve done something about those ears, but-” began the droid.

“Hey” interrupted the boy, “My family is - well, was - poor too, but we still managed to afford these droids”

“I wish I could say the same. It is good to know your financial fortunes turned around,” said Spock.

“That’s not exactly what I meant,” said the boy, a frown on his face, and he turned to the old man for comfort.

“What happened?” asked Spock.

“I do believe it is a private matter. Anyway, it’s a pleasure to be the first droid you’ve ever met! I am C-3PO, human-cyborg relations.”

Spock turned to the little droid, “And him, R2…”

“D2” completed C-3PO.

“Hello.” said Spock.

The droid beeped at him cheerfully.

Spock processed that for a moment. “It seems most illogical to program him with emotion when he can’t even speak.”

The droid beeped at him angrily.

“Please, forget I said anything,” Spock responded in cold but conveying Vulcan fashion.

“Yes, yes,” said C-3PO, “But we really must be going. We have a meeting at Mos Eisley Cantina!”

Suddenly, Spock remembered the direction he had been pointed in by the vendors, and would have been angry at himself if he could have been. He had gotten so caught up in these interesting droids, a fragment of this universe Spock was beginning to see why Bones found so intriguing, that he had forgotten the danger his friends were in.

No time for proper goodbyes, he rushed off.

But what a fascinating meeting he had just had.

Still Tatooine, but from 3PO’s perspective

C-3PO was thinking the same thing.

The Enterprise

“Oh my goodness, tell it again!” said Bones, “He said the human-cyborg relations thing! He said it!”

Spock let him speak.

“And you got to talk to Luke too! If only for a little bit!”

“And it almost got you stranded, doctor.”

“Always gotta look at the negative, Spock,” said Kirk, smiling at Bone’s joy.

“Well,” said Spock, looking at McCoy’s smile as well, “Maybe it wasn’t all bad.” He took no pleasure in emotion, but if it were enough for Bones, maybe it should be enough for him.

“There is one thing that confuses me,” said Bones. “I’ve seen that movie about a million times, never once do they stop on their way to the cantina. Where would you have run into them?”

Spock thought about that for a moment. “Hmm, perhaps there is something you do not see in the movie. In fact Kirk’s entire first encounter was not something seen in the movie, if I recall correctly. It is an entire universe, remember.”

“Yeah, I guess that could make sense,” said Bones.

“Either that, or the author didn’t realize this inconsistency before deciding to write this. One of the two,” said Spock.

Kirk laughed, “That is certainly a possibility. Speaking of which,” he went over to the comm system, “Mr. Chekov, please report to the briefing room. ”

The trio waited in anticipation.

Chekov arrived “Yes, Captain?” he said in his cute little russian accent.

“Oh, nothing,” said Kirk, “We just felt the story wouldn’t be complete without you. You are the best character, after all.”

Chekov smiled and then laughed. Bones was giggling too. Kirk was in tears. Even Spock was laughing hysterically.

And you, too, are laughing. Or at least smiling. A little. Hopefully. I try.

 

Nah nah, the crew have just ended up in George Lucas' 2025 Nu-Blu-Ray edition of the movie, where they do stop before the cantina

"Write fanfic, they say..."