Hardest Words to Say: How to tell the person you're dating that you Write Fanfic.

Well, everyone that have meet me knows that I?m a major Star Wars fan and I guess that my huge RotS poster doesn?t help either.

My best friend, my mom and my younger brother knows about my fanfiction writing, maybe some others, and I have to admit that if someone else finds out then fine, fanfics is helping me a lot and I?ve meet so many amazing people while writing and reading, not to mention that I?e gotten way better in school, that it?s worth every ?embarrassment? that it might bring forth.
I was seeing a guy before I joined the boards whom at first was okay with me liking Star Wars but after while he got really jealous of my Anakin and Star Wars posters and I told him that Star Wars was just something I really enjoyed but that it wouldn?t get in the way of anything else, I loved reading fanfics and other things that was SW related but he still wouldn?t get it and after a while things just got worst and I knew that I couldn?t deal with it anymore so we broke it of. Then I found TFN and started to write fanfics and I think that if we still would see each other, well, I don?t know how thing would have been then but not good and since then I?ve kept it quiet.

I want one of these:

[image=http://i91.photobucket.com/albums/k287/Star_Angel_01/ff-shirt.jpg]

I think that it might help, at least a little + it's true, at least for me.

 

I feel it's best to be honest and bring it up early on. That way, they won't think you've been hiding something.

 

As I put on my Myspace: Star Wars: It's an addiction. All my friends know of my obsession and I don't think I could ever date someone who doesn't at least tolerate it. All of my friends are geeky and most of us are obsessed with LOTR or Star Wars or Star Trek. There is nothing ot hide about that in my school or among my friends, and I don't really see why people see it as geeky. They don't know what they're missing.

 

My husband finds a great deal of amusement in my hobby. And he HAS spilled the truth at a business dinner once. I wanted to kill him. It's one of those things that I don't feel compelled to discuss, because if I'm in a social situation I like to talk about what THEY are doing anyway. But if it was someone close they'd probably already know anyway. But I don't really talk about my stories or my writing with anyone but my daughter anyway and she's here already!

Like someone else said, it's a hobby and no more weird that cycling or collecting stamps or teapots or whatever. I just happen to collect SW stuff. And write stories. And read the books. And watch the movies. And read the books again. And watch the movies again.

Uh oh. I'm sensing a pattern.

Seriously, I don't think you need to make a big deal of it. If you were going to tell someone you liked to watch a college team play, when would be the right time? It's pretty much the same thing. And whenever it's not OUR hobby, we always think it's weird anyway! "Fantasy football??? What a loser!" Of course, he's thinking exactly the same thing about me.

 

I'm not in a relationship anymore, but I never brought it up in the relationship before. It never really came up for some reason.

My sister knows I write fanfic. We are partners in crime that way. She betas for me and I beta for her, although we're in two completely different fandoms and she doesn't really understand my SW thing. She also knows I'm on the boards, which is fine because she's got her own boards as well. My brother found my writing journals a couple of years ago with my very first SW story and laughed at me. Since then, I don't think he bothers to remember and just every now and then asks me if I still write.

My parents just know I write madly. I wonder what they think I'm writing?

-Krystal

 

Well, I told a guy once that I write fanfiction and he asked me out, but it never went anywhere. Maybe that's why...

In all seriousness, I agree with what a lot of you have already said. If someone asks about my hobbies, I'll mention Star Wars and writing. If they don't like it, that's fine. We're all entitled to our own opinions.

If I were in a relationship, I would be honest about my Star Wars fanficcing from the start. Maybe not completely honest ("I index stories and post at a SW messageboard and spend most of my time thinking about SW fanfiction stories. So, what are you into?" ), and I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. But it's part of who I am, and I'm not going to hide who I am just to make some guy like me.

 

My boyfriend doesn't know about it, and I don't have enough guts to tell him. Actually, no one of my friends or family knows about my writing hobby - my mother would drop in coma if she found out.

My boyfriend just assumes that I'm doing my college stuff whenever I'm writing. It would be alright if he were a freak too... but no, his only hobby is programming - that is considered very normal in the crowd I hang out with.

I won't have any secrets to hide by summer, since I'm planning to quite the writing by then (students exchage programm, which takes uo lots of time), and I hope I'll be able to pull it through.

I agree with the other, though - I should probably tell him simply because there are worse things to hide.

 

I went right out and told the last guy I was dating that I write fanfiction and he was cool with it.

The way I see it, if he wouldn't like it then it's his problem not mine. Writing is something that is very important to me and I won't feel sub-concious about it.

My best friends also write fanfic which definitely helps. I told my parents and they understand it, though my dad continuously tells me that I should sell my stories online. Silly dad. My mom actually betas stories for me once in awhile and will be my first audience to new stories.

So I have no qualms about admitting my profound love of writing fanfic, my life would certainly be duller without it.

 

My parents and brothers think I'm seriously warped, and I lost any chance of fitting in with the 'in' crowd when I picked Vector Prime up, so anyone who knows I'm a SW nerd is a 'geek' themselves.

 

Haha, great thread!

I'm not dating at the moment, but if someone brought up the subject of hobbies I'd definitley mention writing, though maybe not that I write fanfics right off the bat. People know that I love SW. My parents shrug and sigh, and my sister alternately provides me with plot bunny ideas and mocks me good-naturedly. Some of my friends are writers, and they accept any type of writing as fun and cool. Others are fanficcers themselves. Still others roll their eyes when they hear I'm working on a new story, but just go along with it. Overall, I'd say it works pretty well.

(Oh, and rebel_cheese, don't worry. If you have to give up something you love to be in the 'in'-crowd, then chances are it's not worth it anyways. )

 

I've had three girlfriends during my time writing on the boards, and I did tell them, not straight away, but I did tell them. Funny thing is, each time they would get angry, telling me that I should not be sharing my stories with anyone else apart from them.

It was the same every single time!!!! LOL!!!!

 

I wouldn't tell my significant other until we were married and she was pregnant with our child? it will make it harder for her to run away.

 

I actually met my boyfriend because of Star Wars, mostly the EU. And he was reading my stories before we were going out. So he knows already about my little hobby -- and the 30th is our one year anniversary, so writing fanfiction and letting significant others (or possible significant others) know isn't always a bad thing.

 

I laughed out loud when I read the title of this. So true!

Of course, I met all my current friends THROUGH writing fan fic. Solves that problem ...

Met my new husband that way, too. (No, he doesn't write fan fic, but we're in a writer's group together.)

 

So, I've gotten a wide range of replies to this. From tell him NOW to not until you're married to him.

He knows I write. He knows I'm writing something with my friend Ish. I've shown him my SW wrapping paper, and have shown my absurd knowledge of SW when people talk about the movies. (Sadly he just saw ROTS for the first time a few weeks ago. )

Add this to the mix, the only person he knows in person who is a fanfic writer, as far as he knows, is a girl who embarressed him, has few people skills and is obsessive and talks to most people ONlY about the fics she writes, as if she were dating the characters. She has a strong personality, but she's really sweet and means well. However, He was thrown by her and thinks she's too geeky. (And she writes on these boards, doubt you guys know her though) So, if I tell him that I ,who talks about moe normal stuff at parties and the like, am a fanficcer like the one he knows about... he may rightfully fear and dread.

 

Fun topic!

My husband is a writer, so when I told him about fanfic, he thought it was really neat. But I didn't tell him until we'd been dating for awhile. He's always interested in what I'm writing. Besides him, the only other person I've told about fanfic is my cousin, who is a dear friend, also. But I didn't tell her about fanfic until about August of this year. I'm not ashamed of fanfic, but the reactions I've heard from people who don't know I write fanfic have made me wary to mention it to anyone. One friend of mine read an article about fanfic online and said, "What kind of losers spend their lives reading and writing about someone else's characters?" I argued the point with her, but never mentioned that I was one of those "losers". I guess I just don't want to hear the teasing that I know is inevitible to occur if my friends knew.

The sad thing is that I don't really have another hobby, so when people ask what I do with my time, I look like a major slacker. "I... uh... have friends online..."

Maybe I should just tell them. Cause writing all this stuff isn't always easy! Maybe then they'd understand why I sometimes look like I'm ready to rip my hair out by the roots?

 

I know what you mean about the whole slacker thing. I just cranked out a 48K word fic in 2.5 weeks (what has NaNoWriMo DONE to me?) but I have nothing to show for it at work, so to "What did you this weekend?" my answer is usually something lame. "I went to visit my grandmother and I checked my email. And did a load of laundry."

 

I've always been honest about my writing, both original creations and fanfics. They're a part of who I am. If I'm going to be ashamed by that, then I'd better not go outside anymore.

If I ever got involved with anyone again, the following statement would apply: "Yes, I write fanfiction. Yes, it is set in the Star Wars universe. Bite me."

 

If I ever got a girlfriend, I'll probably not tell her, since she'd either ridicule me, find my work fascinating or ignore it entirely(not sure which one is the worst.)

 

My wife didn't really care all that much, actaully she was probably glad I have any interests besides sports and guns. She hasn't told anyone of this hobby, probably because no one would believe her(For some reason people keep thinking I'm an NRA gun nut, which I am not.)

 

Great topic

My parents found out about me posting here a couple years ago (they weren't too pleased, but they checked out TF.N and decided it was okay). They know I write fanfic, but I haven't let them read it, and I didn't tell them what my username is. I don't bring it up with my friends; I can think of one who might be interested in the site, but he'd head for sffbc and give me weird looks about writing.

 

This thread brings me large amounts of amusement.

I'm almost sort-of dating someone... it's complicated. Christmas break was very, VERY inconveniently timed. *shakes fist at lousy timing* However, if he doesn't already know, which he probably actually does- I think most of the CS guys know I write fanfic- I doubt there will be problems. I mean, look at it this way: last I saw him, he kissed me right before he went to play a ginormous network game of DotA, a Warcraft III map. And he's seen me running around in Star Wars costumes. His commentary on me and my 'loser' quotient: "Star Wars geek? Maybe. Loser? Never."

So, yeah. Not really worried. I'm already a computer programmer; writing fanfic isn't all that strange on top of a nerdy qualification like that.

 

So, yeah. Not really worried. I'm already a computer programmer; writing fanfic isn't all that strange on top of a nerdy qualification like that.

Yeah, I'm a programmer as well. People almost seem to expect things like writing fanfic from me. There are people that I know that are surprised when they find out that I don't own own a Star Wars costume.

 

I was just wondering about this. I'm just coming out to friends. I told them I wrote. They didn't ask what, so I didn't tell them, but I would have if they'd asked. As for a new person, I'd get to know them for a while and then do the above.

SW is a hobby. Some people will spend an entire Sunday watching sports on TV or 3 Lifetime movies and everyone thinks that's perfectly normal. Why are we so convinced our hobby is any less normal?