Title: Hello Sanity Author: DWH Characters: Katryna Star (Revan), various KOTOR folk, probably some OCs. Timeframe: Just after the Mandalorian Wars, leading up to the events of KOTOR. Summary: In order to be taken more seriously Revan hid her gender identity. The results were not terribly to her liking. Notes: Written for the 2010 Dear Diary Challenge. Revan?s tactics may seem ruthless, but no one can deny that even when the rest of the Jedi Order hesitated, he drove forward to repel the menace of the Mandalorians. Truly, we should not think on him as a villain, but rather as the unlucky bastard who has to make the tough calls. And considering the enemy we were facing, he had little other choice. The powers that be willing, he ought to at least be able to lay down his saber for now. Today?s editorial was the last straw. I don?t know why it was this particular snippet that got to me; there?s nothing new in there that hasn?t been said a million times already. But I feel the need to make it clear somewhere, even if I can?t do so in public, that I never, ever told anyone that I am a man. Such a statement would be blatantly false, in any case. I was born female, raised as such, and intend to be so for the foreseeable future. Probably even a little beyond that. What a mess I?ve gotten myself into. It started out innocently enough. I wasn?t having much luck getting recruits, and Alek suggested it was because I was too soft. So I decided to ditch the feminine image, cut my hair, and wear more androgynous robes. Not long after that, I started obscuring my identity on recruiting trips. It was a notably more successful venture. Jedi who had barely given me a second glance were suddenly taking what I had more seriously. It was infuriating on many levels, but what was to be done? I couldn?t fight the Mandalorians on my own, and unless you have some sort of special gift, women still have to fight to be seen in the upper levels of the Jedi. I?m not even sure who first assumed I was a man anymore, but the impression has stuck. A small man, to be sure. Somewhat short, especially when standing next to Alek. But especially since I started wearing the mask, I?ve been stuck in this role that I?m too afraid to contradict. Not only would I risk being seen as something less, but the people might feel I have betrayed their trust by not correcting them. So I suppose I?m just stuck being a man. Everywhere except here, of course. In here, I am Katryna Star, more commonly known as Kat, and I am wholly a woman. Dammit, patriarchy. I never thought I?d have much of anything against you. Now look what you?ve done. All I wanted was for people to take me seriously, and I ended up with a gender change. Thankfully, it?s only in the public eye. I know who I am. I just wish I didn?t have to hide it.