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Saga "Here's How It Started" (First Sentence Challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Shira A'dola, Oct 19, 2015.

  1. Shira A'dola

    Shira A'dola Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2012
    Title: Here's How It Started
    Author: Shira A'dola
    Characters: All OC's
    Timeframe: OT Timeline
    Rating: G
    Genre: One-Shot
    Length: 357 words
    Summary: Just a short entry for the First Sentence Challenge. Same characters as "Mondo". Jaye's still trying to get into the Armed Forces. He's just a bit older now.

    This is Part 2 of Jaye's story.

    Part 1: Mondo

    Part 3: I Rise


    Edit: I realized that the mother's name differs from both stories. Her name is supposed to be Leda. If I've missed any corrections, please let me know!

    “Here’s how it started,” Jaye began, brushing his black hair from his eyes. “I was - “ His mother’s hand cut him off abruptly. “But mother, I - !“ Again, she raised her hand to cut him off, casting a stern look his way.

    “None of your stories this time, Jaye. I want the truth. No embellishments, no bias, just the facts.”

    “I didn’t even say anything yet!” the teenager protested, his yellow eyes flashing with irritation.

    Leda smiled slightly, a hint of amusement on the corners of her lips. “You didn’t have to. You forget that I am your mother and I’ve known you for sixteen years now. I know you better than you would like to admit. Now, are you going to tell me the truth?”

    Jaye’s shoulders drooped slightly in defeat as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “Nika said mixed races don’t get into the Empire’s armed forces unless they’re common Stormtroopers.”

    Leda raised an eyebrow. “So you hit him?”

    “He went after you and dad!” Jaye said desperately. “He said all kinds of horrible things about our family!”

    “That doesn’t mean you can hit him, Jaye.” Leda sighed quietly and walked over to her eldest son, placing a hand on his shoulder. “There are some people who practice racism openly and freely. Nika’s family is one of them. But having a Pantoran father and a human mother doesn’t grant you any greater or lesser chance of getting into the armed forces than anyone else. However, violence will most certainly lessen your chances. The Empire will look over you if they consider you to be unruly or out of control.”

    Jaye sighed. “I know. It’s just Nika…he…he’s so infuriating! It’s like he’s made it his life goal to rattle me!”

    “So don’t let him. By not letting him rile you, you win. His life goal has then failed.”

    “I hadn’t thought about it that way.” Jaye remarked. “I guess I’ll try to keep that in mind. It’s all about strategy, right?”

    Leda smiled. “Correct. Now out of curiosity, what story were you going to spin me?”

    Jaye grinned slyly. “That Nika hit me first.”
     
  2. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    Huzzah, Jaye is back! It doesn't happen every day that I become so fond of a character after just two short vignettes, but you managed that.
    And of course, as their proud son, he had to stand up and defend them.
    Jaye is well on his way to joining the armed forces, apparently. He sees strategy everywhere.
    [face_laugh]
     
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  3. Shira A'dola

    Shira A'dola Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2012


    I'm glad I can come up with some good characters haha. I've grown quite fond of this family as well and I've really been enjoying these challenges. I'd request more numbers, but I feel like that would be greedy :p
     
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  4. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 11, 2014
    You're welcome to ask for as many more numbers as you want (I have a nearly-endless supply of these first sentences, a friend compiled a list of 365 for her blog!) but maybe you want to try a different challenge instead? Findswoman started the Poetry Inspiration Challenge a while back, and there is one poem left.
     
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  5. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    And I can add more if necessary. :)
     
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  6. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Uh oh...Jaye is a teenager now! But still completely adorbs!
    What a great lesson for him to learn! It's hard, but his mom's advice is the best. (I love how well she knows him and just stops him right off the bat.)

    I hope to see more of this lovely family!

    =D=
     
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  7. Shira A'dola

    Shira A'dola Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Sep 4, 2012
    Oh cool! I'd love to try that!

    Yes please :) I'll go sign up!
     
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  8. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    That was so cute!!

    Jaye sounds like a typical teenager and it’s nice to see a mom who’s not fooled by his…..embelishments :p

    Great response to the challenge

    =D==D==D==D=
     
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  9. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 31, 2014
    Comparing...

    “None of your stories this time, Jaye. I want the truth. No embellishments, no bias, just the facts.”

    “I didn’t even say anything yet!” the teenager protested, his yellow eyes flashing with irritation.

    ...to...

    Leda smiled. “Correct. Now out of curiosity, what story were you going to spin me?”

    Jaye grinned slyly. “That Nika hit me first.”

    ...makes the whole thing absolutely hilarious. Jaye is so, so keen on lying his way out of troubles, that not even the slightest traces of reasonable sentences and arguments in what he's saying can make up for the fact that he lied.

    Now I want to see him as an adult and see where telling scary stories and lying took him. One never knows!
     
  10. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    [face_laugh] and wonderful timeless wisdom there about how to handle narrow-minded bullies.
     
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