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Before the Saga Hollow (Latin Roulette)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Kit', Apr 5, 2021.

  1. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Title: Hollow
    Author: Kit'
    Genre: Angst
    Timeline: Before the Saga
    Characters: OC's - Namia Zahalin, Tara Tarindae. Canon - Qui-Gon Jinn, Mace Windiu

    Notes: Written for @Mira_Jade's Latin Roulette Challenge. The phrase was Gutta cavat lapidem (non vi sed saepe cadendo). Translation: a water drop hollows a stone (not by force, but by falling often).

    ***

    One, two, three, together. One, two three. Together. One Tw-

    A crash, a grimace and a whimper of pain.

    “Again,” the voice rings out across the training floor. A voice that isn’t to be messed with. It doesn’t care about the pain, or the darkness, or the images that flicker behind eyes that can no longer see.

    “Again.”

    She pushes herself onto her hands and knees, willing her body to stand, feeling the strain of misused muscles and the pull of the scars that pattern her body like lace. Two far gentler hands on her shoulders, pulling her upright.

    “You are too hard on her,” Namia’s voice. The one that goes with the gentle hands.

    “I-” the first voice falters, “I just want her to succeed,” it mutters after a minute.

    “At what cost, Mace?” Qui-Gon’s voice now. A modulating tone between harsh desire and smothering care. She sighs, feeling like a doll caught between three small children. Each wanting to fix, to mend, to care for the broken thing.

    “I don’t want her thrown out of the Temple because she can’t see,” Mace mutters. She can hear the resentment in his voice, the spark of anger and loss underneath the exterior of one who believes resolutely in the Temple’s rules and the guiding light of the Force. “We’ve already lost one of us, I don’t want to lose another.”

    There is an almost silent gasp and then whisper of sorrow, anger and despair. She winces in the darkness as the sounds of the Force flutter around her, but cannot trust her voice to speak. She wants to scream and wail, beat her fists and curse the darkness and the utter unfairness of it all, but she can’t. She is Jedi. She must let it go. She must move past the emotions to the peace beyond.

    She has to remind herself that eventually the pain will pass. That her body will, one day, no longer betray her. That she can return to the lightsaber and the training floor soon. That she will endure because she must. She cannot falter, but must remain steadfast, even as the pain and the anguish and all the unfairness of the world whittles her away until she is nothing.

    She stands and faces where the voices come from. Finally she finds her own voice.

    “Again.”
     
  2. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 7

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Magnificently poignant, since we see how Tara eventually finds her confidence and Mace and she are bantering friends ;) The sense of unfairness, loss, and struggle come through plainly. =D=
     
  3. Findswoman

    Findswoman WIP Month Champion and Hostess Extraordinaire star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Very powerful vignette and wonderful introduction to Tara! Keeping up that kind of Jediistic perseverance and calm while hearing all those doubting comments the masters are making about her as though she’s not in the room—that’s got to be more than tough. Tara really epitomizes your Latin quote here—we know she will eventually wear down even the stoutest doubt and resistance! Thanks for sharing and expanding your wonderful Jedi-verse for us yet again! =D=
     
  4. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Thank you. It was just such a perfect quote to write something dark and full of emotions and I'm glad they came through. Younger Mace is, at least in my head canon, driven by a desire to be the best but also stimied by the rules of the Order which he believes in whole-heartedly. Hence why, as an adult, he is often at odds with Qui-Gon and, later, Anakin, who both see rules as tools to be used and discarded as necessary.

    I'm glad you enjoyed it and it's a good introduction to Tara. I should have made it clearer though that Mace, Tara, Qui-Gon and Namia are contemporaries (I had to stuff with Qui-Gon's age a bit) and for this would be about (checks excel spreadsheet) between 19 (Tara) and 24 (Qui-Gon). It's why they don't want to lose her because they've already lost Taeyn out of their little group of five and why Mace is being so pedantic about the fact that she has to succeed.
     
  5. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    A great insight in Tara and Mace.
     
  6. amidalachick

    amidalachick Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Aug 3, 2003
    I have to echo @Findswoman - this was so powerful, and Tara's strength and determination really fit with the quote.

    I especially loved these lines:

    &
    Her feeling helpless and passive while they discuss her, and then literally standing up and speaking for herself, is just so good.

    Wonderful job on this! =D=
     
  7. devilinthedetails

    devilinthedetails WIP Month Champion star 5 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Jun 19, 2019
    This piece is so powerful and reads like a gut punch in the best possible way.

    "A voice that isn’t to be messed with. It doesn’t care about the pain, or the darkness, or the images that flicker behind eyes that can no longer see."

    I love the harsh, unflinching honest of this.

    "She pushes herself onto her hands and knees, willing her body to stand, feeling the strain of misused muscles and the pull of the scars that pattern her body like lace."

    The comparison to lace makes an interesting contrast to the harshness and the pain. Sort of adds a sense of tension by creating that contrast, I think.

    "She sighs, feeling like a doll caught between three small children. Each wanting to fix, to mend, to care for the broken thing."

    What an apt and heartbreaking simile.

    "She wants to scream and wail, beat her fists and curse the darkness and the utter unfairness of it all, but she can’t. She is Jedi. She must let it go. She must move past the emotions to the peace beyond."

    So much courage and strength shown here.

    Beautiful job in this short and powerful piece!=D=
     
  8. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Force Ghost star 6

    Registered:
    Jun 14, 2005
    You always find incredible characters and fit them to any challenge, weaving a wonderful story.
     
    Kit' and WarmNyota_SweetAyesha like this.
  9. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2004
    Oh wow! In so few words you managed to say so much. This was an incredibly poignant piece.

    Your prose here was gorgeous!

    I could feel Tara's determination, just as much as and even more so than her fellow Jedi. It's a hard road ahead of her, but she's going to see it through - like water hollowing stone!


    This was a fantastic response to the challenge! Thank-you for sharing! =D=
     
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  10. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    Thank you so much, that's such a wonderful compliment. Thank you ^:)^[face_blush]

    Aww, thank you. I really liked writing this, a nice challenge for writing from the perspective of someone who can't see. :)

    She is definitely that, both before the incident and afterwards. Tara will always find a way or get her way purely by being persistent.

    Thank you so much for reading and for setting such an amazing challenge!
     
    Mira_Jade and AzureAngel2 like this.