SWC How Star Wars Could've Ended in 1 minute

Ronhar Kim and Tap-Nar-Pal inform Yoda and Mace Windu of their idea to midichlorian-test the Senate before or instead of informing Palpatine.

 

"What is it?"
"Your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight"
"It's not working"
"Push that button"
"I did"
"Push it three times quickly to reset"
"Nothing"
"Try giving it a shake"
"Still not working"
"Here let me.....[hits it violently on the wall]... ..No...no...it's bricked. Sorry"
"Ok, laters"
"Yes, farewell"

 

Yoda: "Begun the clone wars have."
Senator Binks: "My give up!"

 

*Obi-wan flies into the asteroid in pursuit of Slave I*
*Jango releases another seismic charge*

 

George casts himself as Luke Skywalker then starts acting in his own films.

The roles of Luke and Biggs are reversed.

The roles of Luke and Anakin are reversed.

The roles of Han and Chewbacca are reversed.

 

John Williams squeezes a rubber duck into the microphone as the death star explodes, then Barry Manilow sings 'Copacabana' as the heroes walk to collect their medals in the closing ceremony.

 

In ANH, the Empire puts two plus two together and realizes one Luke Skywalker on Tatooine my just have some relevance.

 

The ancient Rakata menace comes back and dominates the timeline during the Prequels. "All you see is green, SNAP! "

Still time to edit, also

every character gets a The in front of their name on their action figure card, for example
The Darth Vader
The Luke Skywalker
The Leia Organa
The Han Solo
The JAbba

 

Lucas forces awkward naming conventions on every character until they are simply too unpalatable.

Lucas keeps a secret list of alternate character names then springs the list on everyone one day on a whim.

 

"She has regained the will to live. Huzzah!"

 

Steven Spielberg comes up with the idea.

 

Chewie, losing at Holochess, rips R2's legs off.

Blip blop whirr rrRRrrrr [translation: "Good luck in the trash compactor, XXXXXXX!"]

 

1/3 Lucas proposes a sprawling 12-hour television epic. Lucas' The Star Wars begins in Winter of 1977 and concludes in 1978. 1/3 Lucas is later outed by Hollywood as an imposter. 1/3 Lucas is not a 3-Dimensionsal being.

 

A Recent One:
Asking fans to pay $10,000 for J.J. Abrams to whisper Episode 9 plot details in their ear for 10 minutes on a television show before the theatrical release!

 

Palpatine: Darth Plaguis was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the force to influence the midi chlorians.... to create sand.
Anakin: I must make sure nobody can ever learn this power again.
Palpatine: Drat.

 

IMPERIAL COMMANDER; The battle station plans are not aboard this ship, and no transmissions were made. An escape pod was jettisoned during the fighting, but it burned up in the atmosphere.

 

DOCTOR; congratulations Ms. Skywalker, you've just given birth to a healthy baby boy. SHMI; Anakin, I will name him, Anakin. DOCTOR; Ummm, I spoke too soon...he's dead.

 

Episode III Yoda beats Sid. Obi-Wan kills Anakin.

 

Robert Rodriguez’ version of Boba shows up on Jabba’s barge in ROTJ and takes out Luke and Han.

 

Lucas has had it again. Lucas goes on a "DETOUR" in the 90s with a popular music career. He has a hit in Japan singing a cover of Extreme's More Than Words. An entourage of popular 90s figures join this Lucas on stage and throw hats out to the audience in the final show. It's a very gentle and endearing moment and one that will not soon be forgotten.

 

Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are still on the ship when it blows up. That's about a minute into the film.