Beyond - Legends " I Got Shafted " (How Anakin could fix this mess challenge)

The only real parameters are these:

1.) It has to involve Anakin Solo in a pivotal role.
2.) It has to resolve the 'messy' post-NJO situation.

Here's the thread from the challenge....right HERE.
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TITLE: "I GOT SHAFTED
AUTHOR: Trepidation
TIME: PRESENT DAY AND AFTER 40 ABY
CHARACTERS: Anakin Solo; George Lucas
SUMMARY: This is a response to the "How Anakin could fix this mess" challenge. You're going to have to be a little flexible with the "poetic license" on this one. But, it's all in good fun.


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?I got shafted.?

?What?huh?who?s there??

?Relax?it?s just me?I?m not going to hurt you.?

?Who is it? (clatter) ?I?I?uh?I have a gun.?

Yeah, right?and Greedo fired first?right Mr. Politically Correct??

?Who are you?what do you want!!??

?Good questions?and we?ll get to both in time.? The young voice said. ?But first, tell me why you are sitting here in the dark.?

?Stress relief?I?m under a lot of pressure?tell me how you got in here.?

?You?re locks suck?it wasn?t hard.?

?Tell me who you are.?

?Good fraggin question. Your writers never really answered that...did they?? The young voice responded with contempt from the darknened shadows. ?I don?t suppose it would be too much of an inconvenience for you to drop that silly cartoon thing for a few minutes and read the riot act to that half-wit publisher on the Expanded Universe would it??

?Animation.?

?Pardon??

?Animation on the Clone Wars?not a cartoon?I tried cartoons already.? George Lucas shrugged in the dark. ?It wasn?t bad?sold a whole heap load of action figures and the Cartoon Network gave me a truck load of money to do it?but every character had a pointy chin and an edgy profile...sort of like an anorexic Disney flick?plus, every time someone lit up a lightsaber, it sounded like a cat hissing.?

?Cat??

?Think?midget Bothan without the nasty disposition or opposable thumbs.?

?Oh.?

?Yeah.? Lucas nodded. ?I guess it was okay, but I never really liked cartoons myself?How about you??

?Didn?t see it.?

?You weren?t alone.? Lucas reached across the desk and felt for the switch to the green Tiffany lamp. The room lit up without warning.

?Bloah!!!? Anakin jumped. ?What the hell happened to you!?!??

?Haven?t been sleeping too well lately.?

?No kidding?and it wouldn?t hurt to shave every once in a while?you look like a mangy Wookiee.?

?Huh?I always look like this.? Lucas absently ran a hand through his beard as his eyes widened. ?Hey?hey?you?re?Jesus?? He swallowed. ??you?re Anakin Solo!!?

?Yeah.? Anakin nodded with a half-grin. ?Who?s Jesus??

?What?...Uh?.not important?one of my gardeners is named Jesus, but?, just nevermind.? Lucas rubbed his eyes with balled fists. ?What are you doing here?how??

?Well, it?s not like I don?t have wealth of free time these days.? Anakin spat. ?You try living on residuals after getting the ax as a teenager.? Anakin looked around the high ceiling work den taking in the absolute treasure trove of memorabilia and art. ?Cripes?you must be loaded. ? He returned his eyes to the man before him and nearly dove for cover.

?Holy Hisppa?you did have a blaster!!?

?What?.this?? Lucas held up the long barreled pistol. ?Nah?just a prop?In fact, this is your old man?s DL-44.?

?How come you have it??

?Harrison didn?t want it?he sniped out some crap about being typecast thanks to me and marched out of my office down at the studio before I could give it to him.? Lucas laughed. ?But, he came back?they all come back. Two years later he was griping that I had typecast him as Indiana Jones. Ironically, he took the whip with him that time. I think he?s going to sell it on Ebay.?

?Harrison??

?Harrison Ford?Han Solo.? Lucas seemed at a loss on how to e

 

Well, the idea is pretty good. However, the "what?" question gets a little old after a while.

 

What?

 

No, I like your story; it's creative. However, the repitition is a little annoying. Otherwise, it's good.

 

They killed Mara and Jacen? This is why I no longer read the series, too many characters got killed off

Interesting plot line though bring back Anakin I'm in complete agreement

 

Trep, you really have no idea how ingenius this is... Absolutely PRICELESS!

 

Just marking this, Trep, so I can catch up and read later.

 

The image of Anakin S. slapping George was priceless!

 

good one

 

ROTFLMAO!!! That was hilarious! Excellent, excellent work. If only it were truly possible.

 

i'm back as promised. Loved it - a real hoot. I agree with Anakin - not surprisingly - that we need less angst and more original trilogy style Star Wars writing. That's been my mantra for years. Oh boy - I laughed at that mention of the Crystal Star - that was a painful book. Aie! As was Planet of Twilight.

Loved the image of Karen Traviss strapping fire extinguishers to her back.

Thanks for the laugh - and I really enjoyed the laconic wit in this.

 

I liked this and totally agree with Anakin about Luke surprising people were he to be made independent.


Well done.

 

Darth Caf Brewer....ROTHLMBO

Trep... this was awesome. Very, very funny. Made me laugh out loud so many times I had to start reading over.

Great post!

CJM

 

hahaha this fic is pure Genius!

Requesting a sequel

 

I think you managed to convey here, with a great deal of humour, many of the things that a lot of us are thinking about what's been going on lately in pro-fic. Well done.

~Abby

 

Off-the-wall, but creative, hilarious, and a lot of fun! You have some great ideas here, Trep. Love the nod to the forums.

And Darth Caf Brewer. Priceless.

 

Well played, sir. Well played.

 

Well we've all been thinkin it...
Bout time someone actually said it..
the new books really did take a
nice long trip down the fresher..
the only reason i've been reading them
still is because of boredom and the fact
that i think Jaina is awesome.....
otherwise they pretty much blow...

kinda wish they'ed bring zhan back
some more at least he always kept the
main characters alive and his endings
were happy.

 

he always kept the main characters alive and his endings were happy.

DelRay seem to believe that alive main characters and happy endings are too unrealistic to have ne place in starwars.. next thing u know they will be retroactively removing all references to hyperspace, the force and lightsabers