Title: I Never Will See Her No More Author: Briannakin Timeframe: ~86 ABY Characters: Lukia Skywalker (OC), Ben Skywalker Categorization: Legends Notes: This fic deals with my OC Lukia Skywalker as seen in Journal of the Forgotten Child and No Words. Though reading either fic isn’t needed. All you need to know is Lukia was Ben’s youngest child, she was born to him after he temporarily fell to the dark side and had ‘relations’ with a Nightsister, and she was the last apprentice of Luke Skywalker. The final entry of the diary reveals that she never married and devoted her life to the Jedi Order. I love the traditional Irish song I Will Never Marry and was instantly inspired to write this fic when I saw it was part of the Celtic Song Challenge (even though I didn’t get it as part of the roulette). I was inspired by Heather Dale’s lyrics “And she’s gone where I never will see her no more / So I never will marry, I’ll be no man’s wife” (which implies - to me at least - that the maiden’s lost lover is female, though other versions make it clear that the lover is a he). The character Emrys, mentioned in the diary, was originally male, but that was written back in 2014 before the SSR ban was lifted and the diary was written with no thought to any sort of sexual orientation/romance for Lukia. But the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of Lukia as bisexual. One of these days I will write my Lukia origin story, and I think it will include such topics. Ben watched as Lukia sat with her feet in the water. They were on the shores of the Pendrillain sea on the planet of Iega. The waters were said to have healing properties, but Ben knew not even time, nor magical waters, nor the Force could heal the loss of the heart. The wind picked up, blowing through Lukia’s long, unmanageable red hair. The cerulean waves swayed in a violent, yet lulling motion as if to consume the fair-skin maiden sitting on the smooth black sand. Lukia made no effort to move as her dark green robes were drenched. Instead she let out a pitiful cry of longing. At 30 years old, she had lost the love of her life. Ben closed his eyes at the memory. He had been here once, at her exact age. After he had lost his wife, the mother of his three sons. It had driven him to the dark side. He had made a deal with a nightsister: an offspring for her and lessons in necromancy for himself. Of course, Lukia had been the outcome and Ben never regretted having her. But she had been cursed to lose so much in her life. It was the Skywalker curse. To love so fiercely, yet to have it all ripped away. It had happened a week ago, when he first saw the emptiness in her eyes. The same emptiness Ben had seen in his father’s eyes when they had lost Ben’s mom. Luke had never been the same without Mara, Ben had never been the same without Sunari, and Lukia would never be the same without Emrys. Though Luke, and he himself, had spent several happy years married to their wives and had children to remember them by. Lukia and Emrys had been planning their wedding, selecting wedding dresses and worrying about guest lists when explosions had rocked Coruscant. Emrys had been one of the first on the scene, trying to rescue as many from a damaged building. Lukia had arrived on the scene to begin medical triage to see Emrys run into the building… then to watch in horror as the building fell. Emrys, instead of using the Force to protect herself, had shoved a group of children outside. Ben had seen the building fall on the holonet on his way to the scene. He had felt Emrys die painful minutes afterwards. He had arrived to see Lukia continuing to work, screaming orders and healing the worst of the survivors. Her eyes had been hollow. Ben returned to the moment at hand: Lukia melting into the sea. He finally approached her. “Lu?” he asked. “I’m here, you know.” “I will never marry,” she said simply. She was playing with the sivonite engagement band on her finger. Ben had seen his father do the same action many times after Mara died. Ben nodded as he sat beside her. He understood. Yeah, many would have said that she was still young and still had plenty of time for new love. They had said the same about him and Ben had dated after the wounds left by Sunari’s death had scarred over, and of course there had been Lukia’s mother, but all his other relationships had never felt the same. “You hear me now, dad. I will be no man’s wife. I loved her. And only her.” “I know,” he said, brushing hair out of her face. There was no anger in her voice, no darkness, only sorrow. Lukia had adored Emrys. “I will remain single. I will follow the ways of the old order, as Masters Cilghal and Tekli did. If I am to replace Master Tekli as Master Healer, I must devote myself to the Jedi, unlike any other Skywalker has done before.” “If that is your path, I will do nothing but support you, like aways,” he said, pressing a kiss to her freckled forehead. “Just don’t become cold. Emrys would never have wanted that.” “I know,” she said, her voice cracking. “But I just want her here. I want to see her again. I need to apologize for not saving her.” Her voice was now coming in sobs as she wept. “I could have saved her. I could have been with her.” “You know that isn’t true and you know she didn’t want you abandoning others to try to be with her at the end. You did what she did. You both were Jedi. And I’m sorry that has led you to such pain.” “No,” she said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “You are right. We were both Jedi. Which is why I must devote myself to the cause she died for: to helping people,” she said, as if justifying her own decision to herself. “Because I loved her.” “And she loved you.” Lukia looked up at the setting white sun. The sky was turning dark. “I think I’m going to sit out here for a bit longer. Why don’t you head back to the cabin?” Ben understood the hint. “Alright. Should I make dinner for us?” “Maybe just leave mine in the cooler?” “Of course.” He kissed the top of her head before getting up and walking away. * * * Lukia stared up at the three blue moons in the dark green sky. Her robes were now encrusted with salt from the sea. The tide had receded. She was dry, but cold. The dead were not speaking tonight. Lukia knew she would never see Emrys again. Emrys had been a Jedi, but not as strong in the Force. Lukia had hoped someone would appear to take Emrys a message, but perhaps her father was right. Emrys knew. The dead did not need messengers and the living gave Lukia the comfort she needed. “I’m sorry, my love.” Lukia said out loud. Tears crusted her face like the sea had done to her robes. “If I could join you, I would. I would plunge myself into the waters let the shells be my deathbed. But I can’t. I have much to do. I have a promise to keep and a destiny a great man once said I had. I must live, even if it means a cruel future without you. So we must wait.” She took off the engagement band and held it into her hand. The promise of marriage had been broken. “If I can’t belong to you, my love, I will belong to no one.” She placed the ring in her pocket and got up. She walked along the path feeling so alone. And the maiden remained alone. Her promises kept to the galaxy - to protect it - and to her love - to be with her again.