Before - Legends I, Obi-Wan - Diary Challenge Entry - updated 5/27

Jaidyn_Knightfall It works in preschool!

earlybird-obi-wan Thank you.

CPL_Macja Yes, our perspectives change as we age!

Jade_eyes Thank you!

Corellian_Ale A galactic hero before all that hero business!

NYCitygurl I'm sure he's had better days!

dianethx He's trying, he REALLY is!

hyperspace_police Thanks! I really love Obi. Young. Old. Wrinkled. Cranky. Reckless. Whatever!

jedidas3 Get in line!

Gkilkenny Weirdness usually starts in our youth!

KELIA Thank you!

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[b]Entry #3[/b]


I can?t believe how much has happened since I last had a chance to write here. I almost wish I had not started this journal, because I must confess that I have proven I am unworthy to be a Jedi.

It is no wonder that Qui-Gon did not want to take me as his Padawan. What Master would want someone like me at their side?

I disobeyed Qui-Gon?s orders and Si and I went over to the Offworld side to look for some thermocoms. All we found was trouble. Si was even taken prisoner by a Hutt and his Whiphid goons. I was able to rescue Si, but that wasn?t the worst of it.

The most horrible thing was facing Qui-Gon and telling him what I had done, and what had almost happened to Si because of my stupidity and my arrogance.

I am almost looking forward to arriving on Bandomeer so that I can escape Qui-Gon Jinn and the look of disappointment in his eyes.

It?s very difficult to figure out what I?m [i]supposed[/i] to do. The harder I try to do the [i]right[/i] thing, the more I mess things up.

I was always taught that the Jedi was the guardian of peace, the defender of those who cannot fight for themselves. And that is what I felt I was doing.

But it was all wrong, at least in Qui-Gon?s eyes. And his opinion is the one I truly care about. So I must find another way.

If there is one.

 

Obi learned a lot in this entry--that sometimes even with the best intentions things still go wrong, and that we often measure ourselves by how others see us, which was revealing in this case because he realized how much Qui's opinion matters.

 

Poor Obi But I think everything'll still be okay

 

Man, there's no worse feeling than feeling you've let down your mentor's expectancies of you.

Poor Obi-Wan.

 

The harder I try to do the right thing, the more I mess things up.

I feel that way 99.99% of the day. Maybe Obi and I will eventually learn that it is in the trying that we fail. Only in doing can we accomplish our desired outcomes.

I think someone once said, "Try not. Do or do not, there is no try." I am certain I heard that somewhere once...

Oh well... excellent update VaderLVR64! Have fun moding in the morning!

 

But it was all wrong, at least in Qui-Gon?s eyes

Perhaps Qui is the one who is wrong...it can happen to anybody

It's heartbreaking to see Obi trying so hard but I am confident he will find a way to meet Qui's approval.

Great update

 

But it was all wrong, at least in Qui-Gon?s eyes. And his opinion is the one I truly care about. So I must find another way.
Poor Obi, thinking about what Qui-Gon has said.

Great update

 

He might be a Jedi Master but he still has a lot to learn.
I hope Obi-Wan can teach him.

 

I hope that Obi Wan learns that Qui Gon's sad opinion,
is slightly colored
by his inability to see beyond his own space.
hope Obi Wan learns to not base his life on the
opinion of Master Jinn.

 

Don't give up hope, Obi! Great update!

 

Jade_eyes Yes, he's learning some hard lessons!

NYCitygurl We have faith in our Obi!

Corellian_Ale I know!

CPL_Macja Glad you liked it.

KELIA There's probably enough WRONG to go around.

earlybird-obi-wan Let's hope they work it out before it's too late.

Gkilkenny You're never too old to learn.

XANl It's difficult when you look up to someone and they don't approve.

jedidas3 Thanks!

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[b]Entry #4[/b]

If I thought Si getting taken prisoner was an ordeal, it was nothing compared to being attacked by pirates. All of that is over now. We - Qui-Gon and I, working as a team - were able to overcome the pirates.

Then there was a shipwreck, ours. And an attack by some draigons. I?m beginning to think that too much has happened to write in a journal. If I?m not careful I will have a holonovel going.

Anyway, we are finally on our way to Bandomeer at long last. Qui-Gon is as restless as I am. Like me, he senses that our biggest challenge is ahead of us. I?m not sure I like the sound of that.

And I think I?m beginning to come to terms with becoming a farmer. If that is what the Force wills for me, then I must put away my own desires and be what I am meant to be.

When we fought the draigons, I felt something [i]different[/i] in the Force. Qui-Gon says that means I am learning, but I fear wisdom has come too late.

But I think that might be all right too, for nothing happens that is not the will of the Force. And if I?m to be a farmer, then there must be a reason for it.

I shall strive to fulfill my role to the best of my abilities. But how I wish my role was something else.

That too, is something I must learn to relinquish and accept. It might take some time.

 

I shall strive to fulfill my role to the best of my abilities. But how I wish my role was something else.

So true for so many!

 

Super update. A perfect blend of trying to accept what is but wishing for something else under it all This shows a level of maturity--honesty mixed with not forcing circumstances to be other than they are. What I call an alert waiting attitude.

 

and his wishes will come true?

Nice update to see him describe the events

 

What a great companion to JA! So I'm a little late to the party...I'm here now.

 

You captured Obi-Wan so well. I still feel the need to give him a hug! Great update.

 

he senses that our biggest challenge is ahead of us. I?m not sure I like the sound of that.

Me either! Especially after all they have been through.

I'm impressed with Obi's decision to accept what his future will be, weather it is as a Jedi or farmer.

Great update

 

CPL_Macja Yes, he's not alone in that.

Jade_eyes Alert waiting, that's a good way to describe it.

earlybird-obi-wan Thanks for reading.

Valairy_Scot I'm rereading the books as I go. It's fun.

jedidas3 Stand in line for that hug.

KELIA We'll see how long his resolve lasts!

---

[b]Entry #5[/b]


I don?t think that Master Qui-Gon is sleeping very well. He tosses and turns over again and again. He thinks I don?t notice. I pretend not to. But even though I am not a Padawan, I can still feel the Force.

His shields are good, like any Master?s, but I sense just underneath his calm surface that he is wary?and afraid. He is waiting for?something. I don?t know what. Maybe he doesn?t either.

At first, I thought he was changing his mind. He was treating me like a Jedi. Sort of. But then after our meeting with the governor, he sent me along to Agri-Corps. I admit, I did not conduct myself as someone worthy of the title Jedi. Once again, I let my anger get the best of me.

A simple discourtesy, but Qui-Gon saw beneath the action to the emotion that caused it.

And once again, I?ve proven myself unfit. But what use has a farmer for the diplomatic skills of a Jedi? I don?t care about diplomacy or stupid negotiations. It?s boring and senseless and I don?t see what it?s got to do with being a guardian of the peace.

If there are bad guys, we should stop them. It?s simple. Why does he hesitate? Why does he dither with meetings and useless words?

I just want to be a Jedi. That?s all. Is that asking so much?

If I ever become a Jedi I won?t let myself get caught up in the politics of the galaxy. I will have nothing to do with negotiations or the endless talking that seems to be all Qui-Gon cares about.

I?ll be a [i]real[/i] Jedi.

I know.

Big talk for a farmer.

 

I?ll be a real Jedi.

I know.

Big talk for a farmer.

 

Fantab update. I can feel Obi's frustration with Qu-Gon's obsession with diplomacy and endless negotiations I agree with him--action is the key many times, it has to be well thought out but you can also talk a thing to death But Obi's decisveness and Qui's calm deliberateness will balance each other quite wonderfully.

 

That's all I can say.

 

And once again, I?ve proven myself unfit. But what use has a farmer for the diplomatic skills of a Jedi? I don?t care about diplomacy or stupid negotiations. It?s boring and senseless and I don?t see what it?s got to do with being a guardian of the peace.

If there are bad guys, we should stop them. It?s simple. Why does he hesitate? Why does he dither with meetings and useless words?

I just want to be a Jedi. That?s all. Is that asking so much?

If I ever become a Jedi I won?t let myself get caught up in the politics of the galaxy. I will have nothing to do with negotiations or the endless talking that seems to be all Qui-Gon cares about.

I?ll be a real Jedi.

I know.

Big talk for a farmer.

So Obi-Wan...feeling unworthy, wanting to right the wrongs of the world and trying to be a big realist at the same time. Poor kid.

 

(Pushes everyone out of the way to hug Obi!) Don't give up, Obi...you'll be a great Jedi! I promise!

Wonderfully written...so poignant.

 

If I ever become a Jedi I won?t let myself get caught up in the politics of the galaxy. I will have nothing to do with negotiations or the endless talking that seems to be all Qui-Gon cares about.

And that from the great negotiator he will become with a padawan who doesn't like politics.

Great update again

 

Words like that coming from the future "Negotiator"