main
side
curve
  1. Welcome to the new boards! Details here!

If I Don't Catch You _________ AU, TPM

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Julie, Oct 16, 2000.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Julie

    Julie Moderator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 1998
    Title: If I Don't Catch You
    Author: Julie
    Category: Alternate Universe TPM, lots of character depth, adventure, some angst
    Rated G or PG (no gory stuff)
    Disclaimer: Anakin, Obi-Wan, & Qui-Gon, etc. belong to George Lucas. I'm just playing.
    Summary: Starts out with mostly my take on missing scenes from the movie, but
    you'll know it when I diverge off into the wild blue yonder. Don't be scared off
    if I seem to focus too much on Anakin, I love Obi-wan and adore Qui-gon, but Ani's
    my favorite.
    Time Frame: begins 3/4 the way through The Phantom Menace
    Archives: Somebody might want to archive *this*? *incredulous stare* Just please ask first.
    Feedback: Yes, please do. I believe fervently in giving and receiving feedback!
    Inspired by (in alphabetical order): Amidolee, Darth Pipes, Djuva,
    Healer Apprentice Lina, Healer_Leona, Jane Jinn, Jedi Master Mara Jade,
    JediKnight-Obi-Wan, Jedi_Ra, Lord Bane, Quietmann77, Vee, Vergere, and I'm sorry if I
    missed anyone!

    WARNING- The first few paragraphs start in the movie but it's not entirely verbatim,
    so don't skip it! Thoughts are indicated like /this/.

    ********************
    If I Don't Catch You
    ********************


    Qui-gon's brow furrowed slightly as he lay on the cool metal floor of the
    Queen's ship. He breathed deeply and carefully to steady his heart and
    mind. The ease in which his strange attacker had fought him and matched
    his lightsaber's every thrust and parry worried him. /This is not good./
    He looked up to see his padawan, Obi-wan Kenobi and young Anakin
    Skywalker rushing to kneel beside him. He almost smiled at the nearly
    identical looks of worry and excitement on their faces.

    "Are you all right!?" Anakin asked with wide fearful eyes. Obi-wan
    looked just as anxious.

    The Jedi Master nodded and began to prop himself up on his elbows.
    "I think so." he said seriously. "That was a surprise I won't soon forget."

    Obi-wan's expression hardened. It had shocked him greatly to see his
    master fighting in a lightsaber duel outside of the ship.
    /I should have been outside waiting for him. Why didn't I sense
    danger? I should have known!/, he berated himself.

    "What was that?" Obi-wan tried to ask calmly.

    Qui-gon took another deep breath. "I'm not sure. Whoever or whatever
    he was, he was well trained in the Jedi arts. My guess is he was after the
    Queen."

    "Do you think he'll follow us?" Anakin asked quickly.

    "We'll be safe once we're in hyperspace," Qui-gon replied, sidestepping the
    question. "But I have no doubt he knows our destination. If he found us
    once, he can find us again."

    The boy's face became a mask of determination. "What are we going to
    do about it?" He inquired.

    The look on Obi-wan's face was priceless. He stared straight at the boy
    in surprise. /What does this little kid mean by *we*?/ Anakin saw the
    look, but didn't react to it.

    Qui-gon did smile this time. "We will be patient. Anakin Skywalker meet
    Obi-wan Kenobi."

    The boy beamed and said in a cheerful voice. "You're a Jedi, too? Pleased
    to meet you!"

    "Obi-wan is my padawan, my apprentice." Qui-gon clarified. "He is training
    to be a Knight."

    Obi-wan helped his master stand up and they exited the entry. As they walked
    down the passage Anakin could hardly keep from skipping. /Another Jedi,!
    Wizard!/ Anakin thought as the fear and worry from earlier drained away.
    /This is going to be great!/ As they walked he looked up, down and around
    trying to see everything he had missed when he bolted into the ship before.
    He was thrilled when they entered the cockpit.

    /Look at all the stars!/ Anakin's mind whirled. And then they jumped to
    lightspeed.

    /Of course, Ani's never seen hyperspace./ Qui-gon glanced down in amusement
    as Anakin's jaw dropped open.
    Obi-wan looked up just in time to catch the direction of the soft smile on his
    master's face.
    -----------------------------

    Traveling through space is not all its cracked up to be. Even a comfortable
    and
     
  2. JediKnightZarc

    JediKnightZarc Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2000
    Wow, this is really great! Write more! Write more!
     
  3. KADI-WAN_KENOBI

    KADI-WAN_KENOBI Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 9, 2000
    Cool!

    Post soon!
     
  4. Jedi Master Mara Jade

    Jedi Master Mara Jade Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 8, 1999
    Great start, Julie! I really like how you portray the characters' private thoughts; it will add a whole new dimension to TPM. I also would like to see the feelings between the three Jedi explored, and it already looks like that is happening. I want to know what Ani thought of Obi and the whole Jedi lifestyle thing before he ditched it all... ;) This should be cool.

    Nice job on your part... keep it up! I can't wait for more!
     
  5. Vergere

    Vergere Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2000
    well i must admit that i *do not* read prequel era fics. i just never took a liking to them, especially the JA fanfics. but...

    as always, i keep seeming to bend my habits for "just one story". :) first its Gandolf's, now its yours!

    first things first: thank you for listing me under your inspiration column, im truly honored. when i came to the fanfic forum, i was sure i was destined to be not noticed a lot. :D you have made my day.

    secondly, as someone else said, this has some major potential. i do not have a single guess on where you're going right now, but i love your title! im always a big sucker for titles.

    thirdly, more please!
     
  6. imzadi

    imzadi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 2000
    Wow! More please! I see the sense now of posting reletively short posts, I think I'll try that myself. More please?

    Imzadi
     
  7. Healer Apprentice Lina

    Healer Apprentice Lina Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 1, 2000
    Julie! I really like your story so far!
    You've also made my day by having me on your list of "inspired by's". Thank you so much!!

    I really like the idea of "missing scenes" from TPM. Keep it up!
     
  8. Liz Skywalker

    Liz Skywalker Ex-Mod star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 13, 2000
    good first post!
     
  9. Gandalf the Grey

    Gandalf the Grey Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    May 14, 2000
    I like it. More. Soon. Please?
     
  10. ami-padme

    ami-padme Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 1999
    A very good start. I'll definitely be watching this one. :)
     
  11. Vergere

    Vergere Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2000
    wow jules you're off to a VERY good start!
     
  12. Jedi_KnightMariah

    Jedi_KnightMariah Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 6, 2000
  13. Anakin's Angel

    Anakin's Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 3, 2000

    YES!! I love AU's, and this one has great potential! Can we have more?! :)

    aa :D
     
  14. Sara_Kenobi

    Sara_Kenobi Jedi Grand Master star 7

    Registered:
    Sep 21, 2000
    More! Up! : )
     
  15. JediKnight-Obi-Wan

    JediKnight-Obi-Wan Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 13, 2000
    Aww thanks Julie. You made my day, by mentioning me in your inspired list.
    This looks to be a very promising fic. I'll try to post feedback as often as I can, but most times I haven't the time for it. Just know that I' m reading, and whenever I get the chance I'll post!
     
  16. Jedi_Ra

    Jedi_Ra Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2000
    To restate what vergere said, I have no idea where this is going, but I really like it! Your Anakin/Obi-Wan interaction was interesting and you've got me caught, I wanna know what happens next!

    I find it difficult to believe I even remotely helped inspire anyone to write anything, but the mention really made my day! Thanks!

    More!
     
  17. Julie

    Julie Moderator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 1998
    *blushes* Thank you, thank you, I didn't expect such a wonderful response! *grins madly* I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I'll just post the next bit right now!
     
  18. Julie

    Julie Moderator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 1998
    ********************
    If I Don't Catch You
    ********************

    Thoughts are indicated like /this/.
    *****************

    Anakin slunk into the empty pilots' barracks. /I am soooo stupid!/ Anakin
    could've kicked himself.

    /I should have known I'd be a distraction! But Obi-wan looked so calm
    and serious. He must think I'm a pest./ Anakin thought.

    Grabbing his bag by the door he miserably climbed up to the top bunk that he'd
    been assigned to. It was cozy and comfortable. And he was just short enough to sit without
    banging his head against the ceiling. He kicked off his shoes and rummaged idly through
    his few belongings.

    /What exactly was Obi-wan trying to do anyway?/ The young man hadn't explained
    it to him or said anything. He'd simply settled down on the floor and closed
    his eyes. Anakin set his bag at the end of the bed. He slid to the middle of his bunk
    and tried to imitate what he'd seen. He closed his eyes and breathed evenly.

    /This is *boring*./

    /How could Obi-wan sit so long on such a hard, cold floor?! Why would he *want* to?/
    Anakin shifted on his soft bed. /I have got to be doing something wrong. / But
    he didn't dare go back and ask Obi-wan. Anakin picked at the edges of his blanket
    in frustration. Maybe Master Qui-gon wouldn't mind explaining tomorrow morning?
    Then the Jedi Master's advice from before the Boonta Eve race came back to him.
    "Feel, don't think."

    Okay, I'll just try not thinking.

    No *thinking*?! Easier said than done.

    For the first time he really thought about the words that Qui-gon had said.
    How exactly do you not think? But, somehow it had worked during the race.
    Of course he hadn't sat still then and he certainly didn't keep his eyes closed.
    Why wasn't it working?

    *swish*

    The door slid open and several crew members filed in to sleep. Anakin
    craned his neck over the edge of his bed to look down at the new arrivals. They
    looked tired and their earlier merriment was gone. Anakin sat back again and tried
    to be still.

    /I'm not thinking. I'm not thinking at all. Nope, not thinking about anything.
    I'm not thinking about how dumb this is./

    /I'm still doing something wrong./ He huffed in irritation.
    One of the men looked up. "You need to get some sleep, Ani." he kindly reminded him
    as the others all crashed into their own bunks. Soon the room became still and the
    only sounds were the occasional snore. But Anakin wasn't sleeping...

    --------------------------------

    Smoke.
    Some sort of smashing sound.
    That *thing* that attacked Master Qui-gon.
    Is that blaster fire?
    Bright columns of energy.
    Wow, that's so high!
    Why is it noisy?
    Flying a starfighter would be so wizard!
    Where is that scream coming from?
    It's getting louder.
    I can't hear myself think!
    Why won't it STOP?!

    *gasp*

    Anakin's eyes snapped open. He jumped slightly and bumped his head on the ceiling.
    Franticly, he looked around the dark, silent room. His already heavy breathing
    quickened and his heart pounded in his chest. He shivered.


    /Where am I?!/ Anakin started to panic.


    *****************
    Feedback welcome!
     
  19. Gandalf the Grey

    Gandalf the Grey Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    May 14, 2000
    It's all good... post again soon...

    EDIT: By the way, are you writing this on the fly, or are you writting it out beforehand, and then just cutting and pasting in?
     
  20. ami-padme

    ami-padme Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 19, 1999
    Keep going, I really like your characterization of Anakin so far! Nice work. :)
     
  21. Jedi_Ra

    Jedi_Ra Jedi Master star 1

    Registered:
    Sep 2, 2000
    A new post already?! Wow, and I just posted to this about 7 minutes ago! Anyway, I'm still really liking this, how Anakin is trying to imitate obi-wan. Great job!
     
  22. Julie

    Julie Moderator Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Aug 1, 1998
    Thanks bunches! I have five younger brothers so I'm confident I can keep Ani in character and boyish. But Qui-gon and Obi-wan take a lot more effort to write!
     
  23. Anakin's Angel

    Anakin's Angel Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    May 3, 2000

    Yes, that was a great Ani characterization! I could hear him (in Jake's voice) saying those words to himself!!

    "I am not thinking about how dumb this is" heehee!

    MORE!

    aa :D
     
  24. jodiwent

    jodiwent Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2000
    Awsum start! keep posting. More, more, more.
     
  25. Jane Jinn

    Jane Jinn Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2000
    I usually skip anything about Anakin because I really did not like him in the movie, but I do make exceptions, and your story is one of them. You're softening my heart towards that kid. Stop it immediately and go back to Obi-Wan! No, just kidding. I loved the line "I am not thinking about how hard the floor is." I really like the way Obi-Wan decided to do the most unspectacular Jedi thing he could think of, and the way he couldn't concentrate. I can't wait to see how this develops!

    And I was very flattered to be on your list of people who inspired you. Thanks!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.