If you could do your own Holiday Special...

Okay, so George Lucas picks your name at random from the JCF boards and says, "I need a new Holiday Special - the fans are crying out for one. But, it needs to be entertaining and will sell well to this generation of youngsters. Write it!" And then disappears in a puff of plaid flannel-print smoke.

You sit alone at your computer, trying to write up your own Holiday Special for Christmas 2005.

What ideas would you come up with to capture the Spirit of Christmas (C) - or Hannukah or Kwanza or whatever - and yet capture the whiz-bang gee-whiz sci-fi space opera that is Star Wars?

Serious ideas or perfectly silly ones please.

I see the remaining cast of Monty Python as outcast Jedi who aren't even good enough for the Sith. They have to bring Christmas to Coruscant so that they can prove to Yoda that they are perfectly capable good guys. They try masquerading as spirits in the Emperor's bedchamber while he sleeps.

Meanwhile, Gary Coleman plays a Corellian smuggler and Ashton Kutcher does the voice of his pal. Clay Aiken and Ruben Stoddard play Jedi who are en route to Naboo to bring presents to orphans. Musical numbers ensue. The lead actress from Crossing Jordan plays the tough-as-nails pilot with a heart of gold, who is won over by a chorus of "It's a Small World," sung by Younglings in hiding.

Bob Villa shows up and shows everyone how to build their own theology-friendly diorama and Phyllis Diller plays the ancient queen of some planet no one cares about and provides witty smart-alek banter as she nags our hapless heroes along.

The whole thing culminates in the Jedi learning that Jabba has stolen all the children's action figures and is the one who has been behind the whole absence of the Christmas Spirit (c). The good guys go to Jabba and convince him that generosity is good. Sally Struthers plays a Twi'Lek.

Add in a dance number featuring clones doing the can-can and you have a simply wonderful Holiday Special, imho.

What would you do?

 

GL would have to be on a bad acid trip if he picked ANYBODY to do another Holiday Special.