JCC Imbalanced Ecologies

In Australia today, ecological changes due to global warming and over-hunting of predators have led to a population explosion among kangaroos. The population increased by 2/3rs in only a six year period. This is unsustainable, according to ecologists and biologists studying the Australian situation.

I'd like to use this opportunity (I know, you're all shocked) to remind everyone that the only way to stop this groups is for people to go out and punch kangaroos. There is no debating that this works.

Again, as of 2016, the kangaroo population is huge. We had them all over the place. But here is a videotape of a man punching a kangaroo, which subsequently left the area:



This works. Kangaroos rely on intimidation and machismo. When they get punched, get beaten up, those they lose the ability to take over. When there is physical pushback, they lose steam. For those of you saying "This is a systemic problem and could probably be addressed through broad-based policy changes" YOU ARE WRONG. The way to settle this is down to the individual valor and martial skill of citizens as combatants, in the mold of Spartans we've anachronistically reconstructed to ignore their rampant slavery, pederastry, and the fact that they emphasized unit tactics rather than individual battlefield acts in the first place, never mind the way this all echoes the rhetoric of the groups we are supposedly opposing in glorfiying the "necessity" of violence.

Discuss your agreement on this important issue and your favorite styles of martial arts for battling kangaroos.

 

Show me where I can find a kangaroo to punch

 

Silly Tina, everyone knows Australia’s got plenty of marsupials to punch

 

Yeah I'm not in Australia, wanna get me a ticket?

 

I fail to see how that’s Wocky’s problemo

 

Wocky?

 

It’s important to remember that Kangaroos don’t fight fair, so neither should you.

 

The main stream media isn’t telling you kangaroos are in numbers large enough now that they’ve escalated their territorial intimidation methods up from stage 2 (punches) skipped over stages 3, 4, 5 (kicks, melee weapons and knives) and are already at stage 5 and headed to stage 6 (small fire arms and assault rifles)

One of the regional Kangaroo leaders watched Crocodile Dundee. The movie was tactically very eye opening.

Kangaroo courts have been installed without most knowing. And those people you see wearing pouch purses are really undercover Roo agents.

If the alliance between Kangaroos and Cane Toads holds together through next summer, it’s likely all humans and most non marsupial mammals will be banished from the continent or rounded up.

This was started when Johnny Depp and Amber Heard smuggled dogs onto the continent. Their ugly divorce and other problems were the direct result of kangaroo retaliations. That and kangaroos infecting Tom Hanks with COVID-19 were the first move in this hopping sinister plot. Make no mistake they have pocketed the advantage.

Also fascist authoritarians will have effectively ended democracy in the United States for the 2022 elections. The only way to stop it is punch them in the noses at 4th of July parades.

 

What predators have been over-hunted in Australia that would be killing Kangaroos?

Other than maybe Crocodiles, but I'm sure there are plenty of those around still

 

How about that rabbit-bunny population in Aussie-land.....

 

It’s hard to punch Rabbits, they refuse to take a punch.

Now, a roo might insult your mother, spit in you eyes and then pull a switchblade, but at least they’re willing to stand and fight.

 

Unconventional styles are best. The obvious best choice is the drunken boxing style, which helps absorb their powerful kicks. Ender would have us believe that Aussies love to drink, so the drunk boxing style could be easily adopted.

Another effective option is judo. You have seen astonishment until you've seen the face of a roo after it's been judo flipped on its back.

 

My role is to cheerlead other people into doing stuff. Your role is to pay for airplane tickets, boxing gloves, and any self-incurred medical bills that result.

I've seen an argument for thylacines.

 

There is a clear solution to kangaroo overpopulation, but the issue is getting people to buy-in to the violence required. Too many people are squeamish about it, and punching isn't enough, and we should be open about the need to kill to prevent the harm they would cause in the future.

So this is a great example of a situation where experts have discussed exactly how the solution is deliberate violence. They even mention that the desire to avoid violence is more inhumane in the long-term because it ignores the damage that will be done if there is not significant force brought to use against kangaroos in the short term. Quite simply, not using violence was worse than using violence because the former would passively allow harm on a much larger scale.

The broad-based policy change needed was systemic violence. Great point from the think tank. We should apply that locally.

 

You made that name up!

Nope that was an actual animal….. The Tasmanian Tiger is extinct. Which makes the think of Obi-Wan Kenobi saying ‘The Jedi are all but extinct’

Obi-Wan is also know as Ben Kenobi.

Ben.

You know what isn’t extinct? The Ben-gal tiger!!!!

You just need to get thousands of Bengal tigers to Australia stat and your kangaroo problem will be over and your Bengal Tiger problem will have just begun.

And then on a Monty Python message board people can say ‘A tiger in Australia!!!’ and have a jolly good deep laugh about it.

There is an alternate universe where the marsupials are the regular mammals and all of us mammals who don’t lay eggs, have pouches, or be all like opossum with the kinking loving dead weirdness are the marsupials.

 

Tasmanian Tigers are only *allegedly* extinct

 

From the well-known video game documentary series Tekken, we know that kangaroos, like most participants in the long-running King of Iron Fist Tournament, are most easily bested using Mishima Style Fighting Karate.