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Saga In Plain Sight: Luke's Story -- ANH AU - complete -- Thanks for your support in the Awards!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by furrylittlebantha, Apr 7, 2007.

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  1. PadawanMom5610

    PadawanMom5610 Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 11, 2007
    :eek: :eek: :eek: I am open-mouthed and speechless. What a great ending (cliff-hanger...) to an incredible, original story. Your descriptions are breathtaking. I had missed the last 3 or so updates due to my own DRL, so I had to go back and read them. It was a rare treat. Really, really, really terrific job. =D= =D= =D=

    Oh, and I'll look forward to learning about what happened to Leia, and about Obi-Wan's evil plan...[face_whistling] [face_praying] :D
     
  2. leia_naberrie

    leia_naberrie Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Thank you for sticking it out and sharing this brilliant story with us & for wrapping up everything in the end. Sure, there are questions that only the sequel can answer, but there are still enough answers to sustain us even if you never get round to writing it so thank you once again.

    I promised you a long review when this is over & I will get round to it. In the meanwhile, here are some of my best parts of this update:

    Your summary was totally made of win. :D

    They'd been looking for a hero-type to rally the masses and generally be heroic. Mara fits the bill.

    :D

    (The Palace) strongly implies it's the Dark Side of the Force but this could just be delusions of grandeur.

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    For a long moment, there was nothing?and then, then Mara Jade exploded into the Force with a rocketing joy that burned. The Sith recoiled. He wondered for a moment what his apprentice had been doing all these months with the Emperor?s Hand.

    This really made me [face_laugh]. Oh Vader, you don?t want to know the details, I promise you. :D

    His first untarnished sight was of his uncle flinging the body of his possessor over the edge of the tower.

    Literally and metaphorically especially as the ?his? in ?his possessor? could be either Vader or Luke.

    Hope, the Dark Lord thought bitterly ? Hope would drive me mad

    Loved this. So sad and so true. It?s almost as if life ? or hope ? or the author :p ? is toying with him.

    Luke heard the Palace in his mind one last time, cold and clear.
    We will meet again, young master.


    Oooohh?

    And then, the smile. It curled up one corner of her lips, then the other, then stretched out into something joyful and bright and impish all at once?a purely Mara Jade smile.
    ?Well, Varewé,? she replied, curling up her legs and turning to face him, ?I meant it as much as you believed it.?
    There was nothing quite to do then but kiss her.


    [face_love] [face_love] [face_love]

    I loved Mara in this chapter. She really rocked my socks off, killing the Luke-clone, not-killing Luke? and I love the idea of both of them going off to do heroic things and fight dragons and grow up and find each other again.

    As I said already, the sequel looks brilliant and I can?t wait to find out about Leia and what creepy!Ben is up to. But as a standalone, this story is love, love, love and I adore you for not abandoning it.

    @};- [:D] @};- :* @};- [:D] @};-
     
  3. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Darling Furry, the beauty of your writing is astounding... the characterizations strong and real... the plot riveting... it has been a joy and a blast to read this mini epic. I eagerly look forward to the sequel... This final chapter was stunning. The L&M was wonderful especially when I didn't know that was a clone then found out it was :D I can understand why Luke and Mara are having to go separate ways right now--but I'm glad they shared their feelings with each other first... but I hope they're not apart too long. I know whatever Luke finds on Tatooine will be life changing. :) Bravo and serious huggles!!! [face_love] Jade eyes
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    A perfect ending to a superb story!



    The storm died abruptly. Palpatine looked about his tattered kingdom, taken aback.

    What is happening?

    Ashes moved soundlessly under his feet. Flowing in streams and columns unshaped by wind, the particles of soul began to contract.

    No!

    Wildly, the Sith grasped for the web of lighting and turbulence, for the darkness that had been his scepter and his yoke for years and years. But it had fled from this sudden vacuum.

    She loves me.

    The whisper echoed from everywhere and nowhere, barely a noise.

    She loves me.

    I have won! You are mine, boy! You have always been MINE!

    Ahhhh?

    There was a deep, tremulous sigh that reverberated through the ground. Palpatine fell back; paled. The monstrous red light surrounding him dulled in fear.

    Loves.

    It was the last thought Luke and the Emperor would ever share. In silent majesty, the swirling piles of ash and dust that made up Luke Varewé soared into a massive wave that climbed to the nether regions of the Force. It was a long time in rising. He went very far and saw many things. Once, near the end of his life, he would wonder what would have happened if he had stayed.

    But Luke did not stay. He came back?back to live, back to love.

    When the gray wave crashed, it swallowed up the speck that was Emperor Palpatine like a stone in the sea.


    Luke opened his eyes.


    His first untarnished sight was of his uncle flinging the body of his possessor over the edge of the tower. With an ear-splitting crack and a howl of blue energy, Palpatine?s body impacted with the garden far below. For the first time in a night of profound dark, light erupted as the gardens burst into flame.

    It began to rain.



    =D= =D=
     
  5. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 9

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Promise me a sequel by 11/26 or I'll cry bitterly for a week! Please?
     
  6. Ocelotl_Nesto

    Ocelotl_Nesto Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 29, 2004
    Hmm... I hope Biggs still gets fried and Han gets into the picture... just my thinking

    Nice ending, but a mean Obi? Sounds like the darkside to me... Perhaps he should go to yoda instead
     
  7. ginchy

    ginchy Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 25, 2005
    Well, wow. I'm just not even sure what to say other than that. Wow. Just wow. You awe me with your writing, your plotting, the smallest ideas that leap forward. And I was very worried there for a moment about my Lukie, but luckily, he's okay--actually, probably better than okay at this point.

    So... there will be a sequel?? [face_batting]

    Excellent work!!! =D=
     
  8. Rigil_Kent

    Rigil_Kent Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2004
    Frak, that was one kick ass story. Very well done and the twisted homages to the movies were so fricking cool...

    Come so I may strip your soul of darkness and scar you with light. <- What an unbelievably cool line.

    If you're doing a PM list for the sequel, I definitely want to be on it so I don't overlook that story like I nearly did with this one.
     
  9. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    furry, child! [:D] You are indeed a poet! Thank you for this wonderful journey. It has truly been amazing adventure and I look forward to the sequel.

    "They could grow up in a few years, grow strong and straight, unbent by the burden of another soul."

    Love the angst and the promise of a tomorrow together!

    Bravo and well done!! =D= =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  10. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jul 26, 2005
    WOW that was some ending.

    I'm already looking forward to the sequel.

    I enjoyed this from beginning to end.

    Bravo on a job well done

    =D= =D= =D= =D=
     
  11. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    I love how this story takes the familiar characters and makes them inversions and reflections of themselves. The scene at the end, of Obi-Wan waiting for Luke while Vader protests he shouldn't leave, he hasn't finished his training: Brilliant! Brilliant! =D=

    Your writing is always thoughtful and thought provoking. It's like opening a gift that you already know is going to be really, really good. :D

    Can't wait for the sequel!

    @};- =D= @};- =D=
     
  12. Independence1776

    Independence1776 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 3, 2006
    Wow. =D= Wonderful, wonderful story.

    Glad Mara killed the clone!

    Leia... married to Biggs. Makes sense, though. But her headaches- she needs training, doesn't she?

    His first untarnished sight was of his uncle flinging the body of his possessor over the edge of the tower. With an ear-splitting crack and a howl of blue energy, Palpatine?s body impacted with the garden far below. For the first time in a night of profound dark, light erupted as the gardens burst into flame. Good!

    ?You know?you have to know that I can?t follow you. There?s something I have to do first. I don?t know what, but I?m not the person I was supposed to be. I need to find out who that is.? Smart.

    Oh, wow. Obi-Wan being cruel, determined to treat Luke in the polar opposite he treated Anakin.

    Duology! Good. Would you be willing to PM when you post it?

    Again, wonderful story! =D=
     
  13. MsLanna

    MsLanna Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Wow. I mean - wow.:eek:

    Such a great story and now you manage to end it with answering as many questions as you give us new ones. At least nobody important is dead - yet. And Luke still doesn't know about his father, it's driving me up the walls.8-}
    A really great story!
    =D=

    I just hope you pm me when the 'sequel stuff' gets posted, because I might just miss it otherwise.[face_blush]
     
  14. Gabri_Jade

    Gabri_Jade Fan Fiction Archive Editor Emeritus star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Nov 9, 2002
    Ah, such brilliant work. :D

    First off, the summary was great. It was really helpful to be able to refresh my memory about the rest of the story before the final section, and it was just as well written as the rest of the story. I LOLed at the Palace having delusions of grandeur. :D

    Luke's despair over Mara's presence is great, and Palpatine's line about Luke's hand being the one to kill her was just chilling. :eek:

    Passing the training salles, a memory pushed at the edges of her serenity. In this room she beat him for the first time and nearly amputated his right index finger. They had to venture out into Coruscant for the services of a private physician?Mara wasn?t eager for her Master?s people to know of her little sparring sessions and Luke agreed wholeheartedly, for whatever reasons of his own. It was his first experience of the city without his handlers. They stopped at a stuffed nausage stand. Mara taught him how to pick a pocket (without the Force). They climbed a tree in a park; she?d never climbed a tree before. She remembered him stretching out along a broad limb, back comfortably settled into the trunk, eyes closed. He looked so different when he was relaxed. Harmless almost; young. She remembered the golden light on his skin, the way his hair fell across his forehead, the smooth long lines of his body against the clear air?She remembered the strange feeling she had, looking at Luke that way?

    This is excellent. Wonderful way to work a bit of exposition in without derailing the narrative, and such a subtle and realistic way to show Mara's growing feelings for Luke.

    ?You don?t even know me.? A spasm of anger drew down his eyebrows. ?What are you doing? Stop it! I am a Sith, Lord of the darkness, and your blood belongs to me!?

    ?No,? Mara agreed. Her voice was hardly audible, even to her. ?I don?t know you. The Luke I know would never stoop to such melodrama.?


    That's our Mara. :D

    ?Leia, darling.? Biggs reaches her side and steadies her, blank terror on his face. ?Is it the headache? Are you losing the baby??

    Mutely, she twitches her head ?no?. Even that small motion sends a kaleidoscope of agony spinning through her temples. No. This is different. The same?but different. She will not lose unborn Ilse.

    What, then, did she lose?


    :eek: Few stories throw me so off balance so often as this one has. I never seem to see your twists coming. How strange, to think of Leia married to Biggs. [face_thinking]

    Because it was not Luke. When Palpatine came to us, he brought his new apprentice he created and trained in secret. The boy was called Darth Scelerous. My master created him from the body of nephew. I do not know how long this clone had been alive, but it was a sad, twisted thing. It is good that Scelerous has passed into the Force.

    :eek: again!

    For a long moment, there was nothing?and then, then Mara Jade exploded into the Force with a rocketing joy that burned. The Sith recoiled. He wondered for a moment what his apprentice had been doing all these months with the Emperor?s Hand.

    *grins* Great line, even if Luke and Mara hadn't quite gotten up to what he might be thinking. :p

    This time, Mara battled the Luke she knew. The Luke she could overcome. Palpatine?s shock was evident in the Force as she parried his every blow. In this form, her master could only use the skill and power of his host. And Mara was intimately familiar with the fighting form of this particular host.

    Hee! :D

    In that moment, Mara saw how to save him.

    She loved him.

    They had no past as lovers, only friendship. There would be no future. But in right now, in this moment, Mara Jade loved Luke Skywalker enough for all time.

    Enough to face her death at his hands.


    Oooh, really, really powerful section. :eek: [face_love]

    ?Back there?? he ventured. ?What you said.?

    A short nod.

    ?Was it just for?I guess what I?m asking?How much did you mean it??

    Mara stilled. Unexpectedly, a hot flush singed Luke?s ears. He wished he hadn?t said anything.
     
  15. Blue_Milkshake

    Blue_Milkshake Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Nov 18, 2005
    =D=@};-Wonderful!!! I will absolutely be on the look-out for the sequel.

    At least Leia isn't a Sith, but a "short life"?!?!?:_|

    So Luke's going to be a Jedi now? I hope he won't allow his love for Mara to be scoured away by his training.[face_love]
     
  16. divapilot

    divapilot Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 30, 2005
    Congratulations on your wins in the Saga Awards!

    @};-@};-@};-

    =D==D==D=
     
  17. Jade_Pilot

    Jade_Pilot Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 10, 2005
    =D= Congratulations furry!!!! =D=
     
  18. bi0nic

    bi0nic Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Feb 15, 2006
    Wow. That seems to be a word that has gotten a lot of use in other people's replies, and for good reason. Just . . . wow. :D

    This was a brilliant read, Trish. From the expertly-handled pacing, to the characterisation of the Palace (Plagueis? :eek:), to the clever use of the present tense in the cut-away italicised mini-scenes of Obi-Wan and Leia, to the constantly simmering relationship between Luke and Mara, to the will they/won't they find out about their true relationship of Luke and Vader's interactions, there were so many things to admire about this fic.


    And there were so many great lines, as well:

    His old memories are irrelevant, new ones not worth dwelling on. Sometimes he used to drag out faces, beautiful ones, noble ones, innocent ones, hang them in misty frames and allow himself to be miserable?just for the diversion. Now, even regret is worn out from overuse.


    Something?a gentle current, tugging at him, a whisper brushing his mind like late summer air


    Vader turned slightly away. His cape caught the wind and furled out behind, undulating darkness against a backdrop even darker.


    He wondered if his capacity for empathy and emotion had finally callused over.




    Some really funny ones, too:

    ?Cagey already, huh? Okay, so, what?s this guy like? Can you tell me that much? Does he put on the freaky bathrobe one arm at a time? Can he hold spicy food? Is that one rumor about the mynocks and the Devoranian prostitute true? Can??


    Lobbyists are guerilla fighters with blackmail instead of blasters.


    So far, her only specialties he knew of were courtly manners and a mean roundhouse.




    And the final chapter alone had a whole clutch of quotables:

    Palace to Varewé. Plageuris to Palpatine. Of what significance are names? I am hatred. I am envy. I am the rot that consumes all life. I am the whispering voice that turns brother against brother, nation against nation. I am the liar. I am the betrayer. Just as I have taught you both to hate, to envy, to consume, to tear apart, to lie and betray, so I do to you now.


    Mara Jade had sparred with Luke Varewé many, many times over the past year. Sometimes they fought fast and dirty and sometimes with a slow grace that was almost a dance, but however they fought, she could always remember it later. An archive of perfect holograms shimmering with crisply defined motions lived in her mind. From this cache, layer on layer of parry and lunge and riposte, she learned Luke. His strengths. His vulnerabilities. His style. How she could win, and when she would always lose. Tonight?tonight was something entirely different.


    Since she was fifteen years old, Leia has lived with the sensation that her skin is too fragile to contain her, that a strange mass of energy is packed into every hollow between every bone and organ and demands release. Demands to tear her frame apart.


    He was not meant for this. There was another Luke, another life that should have been only beginning where his was ending. If only he could live. If he could live, he would fly. He would see all the stars.


    Though they looked nothing alike, Luke didn?t doubt and knew he never would. This was his sister. He knew it with a conviction that sang up through his bones, that gloried with recognition and ached with joy.




    Congrats on having written a fantastic story, and on the awards you deservedly won for it. Now where's that sequel!? o_O :p

    =D= =D= =D=
     
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