In the Wake of Glory (Change of Heart Special Edition) Finally completed! *gasp* 5/15

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by Melyanna, Jan 25, 2002.

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  1. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 19, 2001
    Yup, it's happened. The overachieving perfectionist has struck again, this time completely overhauling the story of Jacen Solo and Nadia Montaigne.

    I'd like to start this story off with thanks and apologies. First of all, thank you to my wonderful beta team, Sticks, Amidala_Skywalker, Mar17swgirl, and Qwi_Xux for all the help they've given me in this story. I'd also like to thank my wonderful readers who enjoyed the first version enough that I felt compelled to make it better and write it correctly before I write its sequel.

    As for apologies, I'd like to apologize to Am, Mar, and Qwi for telling them that I wasn't going to start posting this for a while... Ladies, you know me. I have no self-control. ;) And you can blame it on Sticks. She talked me into it. :D

    As for disclaimers, if you see anything that looks canon, it probably is, which means that I don't own it. This is just my way of torturing myself in my spare time. :D

    Oh, yeah, this story is post-Rebirth.



    "Nadia, Nadia, wake up."

    Groggily, Princess Nadia Montaigne opened her eyes and tried to figure out what was going on. The voice above her was frantic. She blinked a few times and realized that her mother was shaking her. "What is it, Mother?"

    "It's happened."

    Nadia sat up quickly. "They attacked?"

    "In far greater numbers that your father and I anticipated." The queen handed her some clothes. "Here, change into this."

    She began to change into the clothes her mother had given her. "Mother, what's going to happen to us?" she asked softly.

    "My dear child, I don't see any way that your father and I will survive." Her mother's voice broke. "But you might. Nadia, you must be brave. Ask for asylum with the Jedi. They might grant you that. But please, above all else, be brave, and be strong."

    Nadia felt tears flowing down her cheeks. "Oh, Mother," she cried, softly, brokenly.

    As they embraced, the queen said, "Dearest, there's a secret compartment in the window sill. In it there's a necklace that has been in my family for generations. I meant to give it to you on your wedding day-"

    The door opened. "Turn around. Put your hands where we can see them," a harsh new voice commanded. The troops who stormed the room led mother and daughter in different directions.


    "Well, well, this is an odd situation, isn't it, Princess."

    Nadia knew that she needed to keep calm, that any hope she had of surviving this revolution rested on her surviving whatever this man had planned for her. But she was handcuffed to an exposed pipe, and not even her fledgling abilities in the Force could release her.

    "Captain Kerouac," she replied, scorn palpable in her voice. "What do you want from me?"

    "I was sent to deal with you," he replied. He ran his hand through his slicked-down blond hair, his green eyes glinting with malice. "Ironic, isn't it? Here I am, the one who was supposed to protect you, and yet I have complete control over your life now."

    "I never trusted you," she fired back. "And neither did my mother."

    "Which proves that your precious Force can do nothing to save you or her, if you could be so easily fooled by two men of such low class." He squatted down next to her and fingered her jawline. A muscle in her neck twitched, but she did not flinch. "I see you still want to be defiant," Kerouac continued. "This is a mistake, my dear."

    The flesh around her eyes tightened. "Don't patronize me," she ordered.

    She barely reacted to the sting of the cuff to her jaw. "You presume to treat me like your subordinate?" he demanded.

    In response, she merely stared hard at him. "Princess, I'm going to get what I want from you one way or the other. Now, if you let me do this willingly I might have mercy on you later."

    She could hardly miss that he was inching closer and closer as he spoke. As she continued in silence, he stroked a rough finger from her forehead along the side of her face till he had her chin cupped in his hand. A moment later h
  2. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 12, 2000
    Good to see a rewrite Mely! It's looking great so far!

    Must be those Jacen stories...I've redone mine 4 times now. ;)
  3. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 19, 2001
    Thanks, Arna! Yeah, Jacen can be tough to write sometimes. In this case I just wasn't completely satisfied with the result of CoH, so I'm trying my hand at it again. :)
  4. Sticks

    Sticks Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jan 27, 2001
    And up!
  5. padawan lunetta

    padawan lunetta Jedi Grand Master star 6

    May 15, 1999
    See? I can take hints... ;) Very nice way of starting it out Mely! Did I mention how much I hate the Captain of her guard??? I hate him this much:

    and more!
  6. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 4, 2001
    Very intense scene, Mely. I admire Nadia's defiance in the face of her attacker.

    Can I drag him out and kill him? Please?
  7. TwilightKat

    TwilightKat Jedi Youngling star 2

    Nov 12, 2001
    No. We need to torture him first...[feral grin]
    More soon!
  8. Darth_Fruitcake

    Darth_Fruitcake Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jan 18, 2001

    Great job, Mely. And congrats: you actually got me to read it ;)
  9. DarthLoreley

    DarthLoreley Jedi Youngling star 1

    Oct 15, 2001
    Now I hate him, too, Mely! :mad: Nadia should have kicked him in the jewels instead of spitting on him!

    This looks like it will be good - I'll try to stick around!
  10. Amidala_Skywalker

    Amidala_Skywalker Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 4, 2001
    Now who said using torture wasn't an option? We need to fry him alive like a steak on a BBQ. Great job Mely!

    Am [face_love]
  11. JadedofMara

    JadedofMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 16, 2001
    Yaaaay! its here! yaaayyy!!

    Ive been waiting for this rewrite for so long! and its here! yay!
  12. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 19, 2001
    Hello again...

    luney: Yes, I think you mentioned it once or twice. ;)

    Lothi: Yup, took a lot of guts on her part... Heh, join the club. ;)

    Kat: Yes, torture is a good thing... I'll get more up soon! Thanks for reading!

    Fruity: Her Fruitiness in an NJO story? *faints* Heh, there's a waiting list for that...

    Lor: Nice to see you around again! Well, she is a princess, so I guess she thought that spitting in the face is slightly more dignified for her. *shrugs* Don't ask me, I'm just the author. :D

    Am: Thanks! Hey, maybe we should start a thread for torturing the really, truly evil villains of fanficdome... Nah, what's the fun in that?

    Jaded: It hasn't been that long... I didn't officially announce this story till ten days ago, dear. ;)
  13. Marie_Jadewalker

    Marie_Jadewalker Jedi Padawan star 4

    Nov 14, 2000
    Yea! I'm glad to see you've found time for this. Of course, you would do it right after I finally got PDK to read the original, Change of Heart.... but that's okay, now he'll enjoy this more. :D

    I'll admit I wasn't expecting to see an entirely new post first thing, but you certainly won't see me complain. ;) You did a really nice job of developing that scene enough that it won't all be told in retrospect later, yet you didn't give everything away.

    Terrific as usual,
  14. Sarah_K

    Sarah_K Jedi Master star 4

    Jun 10, 2001
    *enters with her morbidly curious look firmly in place*

    Great start! I really like it so far... if like is the right word for it when you feel sorry for the main character, worried about her parents and distinctly, er, angry at her captor. ;)

    Can't wait for more!

    Sarah >^,,^<
  15. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 19, 2001
    Have you ever felt like randomly upping something?

    ...Yeah, that's where I am right now. ;)
  16. Prof_D_Kirke

    Prof_D_Kirke Jedi Youngling star 2

    Nov 18, 2000
    Hey, I thought I'd decide to not lurk and actually post. :eek: I like the post Mely, it's letting us in on what was told us before. I love it!
  17. Mar17swgirl

    Mar17swgirl Chosen One star 7

    Dec 26, 2000
    I'm here! I'm here! :D

    Great start Mely, you just threw us right into the middle of action... ;) Awesome stuff, can't wait for more! :)
  18. Jo_Solo

    Jo_Solo Jedi Youngling star 1

    Jan 21, 2002
    Meesa like. :)
  19. Qwi_Xux

    Qwi_Xux Jedi Master star 4

    Oct 5, 2001
    HAHA! I am sooooo sad...this thing has been up here for two days. I'm betaing it, and I didn't know you had started posting. *shakes head* Well, I have been a little busy. Great job, Mel, as usual! :D That jerk of a Hutt slime that dared to hurt Nadia... :mad:
  20. Rebecca191

    Rebecca191 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Nov 2, 1999
    Kerouac is evil. I wanna torture him! :mad:
  21. Melyanna

    Melyanna Jedi Padawan star 4

    Jul 19, 2001
    Okay, here's more for your viewing pleasure...


    For all of her adult life, Audrea Montaigne had feared this would happen.

    The Alerian monarchy had been plagued by violence throughout the course of the planet's history, but the Montaigne family had held the crown for nearly a century. That was longer than many of the previous dynasties, but at the point of death, such matters of history were small consolation.

    At least my child did not grow up without her parents...

    Audrea knew she had been lucky in this. Just days after her own birth, a mob had attacked her parents, King Haelon and Queen Miran, leaving her an orphan Queen, a regent ruling in her place as she grew up. At sixteen she had taken her throne and discovered that the regent had sheltered her from many of the political problems on the planet. In the two years in which she had ruled alone, Audrea had learned painfully that Aleria, though beautiful, was impossible to keep at peace. Their resources were limited, the population too high, and the location too far to make importing plausible. Every fifty years or so, the people would blame the monarch, murder him, and set up a new ruler in his place.

    When she was eighteen, a representative of a dissenting group arrived at the palace demanding an interview with the young Queen. She had heard reports of what that representative was going to say, and she knew that she would have difficulty in refuting his arguments. Her advisors begged her to send him away immediately, but her sense of duty demanded that she meet with him.

    In later years, Marcus Montaigne had told her that he completely forgot the demanding words he had prepared to use as threats at the moment the Queen, resplendent in her royal garb, had entered the room. At the time, she only knew that he was unusually respectful for one who had been so demanding. He was patient with her request for time to review the matter before rendering a decision, and he offered to meet with her whenever she liked to discuss the issue.

    Three weeks later, after a whirlwind, secretive courtship, they announced their engagement. Alerian law called for her, as Queen, to be twenty-one before marrying, so in three years, they were married. Despite the fact that the two major factions of the society were now represented in the monarchy, trouble was, as ever, just below the placid surface.

    The problems didn't become evident until their daughter, Nadia, was five. Marcus's allies began to weaken, and a third group, whose power had once been negligible, became stronger than what the fragile monarchy could bear. Their handling of their child had been heavily criticized by this third group, but the public seemed not to care. So the group lay low, quietly gathering strength, until they had an excuse to return.

    A less perceptive ruler might have overlooked the developments, and a less capable ruler might have simply ignored the problems. But Audrea had the Force-given gifts of perception and competance, so she did not. In later years she would wish that she had.

    So many things I could have done differently...

    A sigh escaped the Queen's lips as her thoughts drifted to her daughter. When Nadia had reached her eighteenth birthday, the royal advisors had suggested that it was high time that Nadia marry. To Audrea's mind, an arranged marriage was out of the question, so she ignored the advice and did not mention the issue to Nadia. A traitor in their midst had given this information to the dissenting faction, and they had spun the story into one that said that the King and Queen did not want their child to marry at all, and that they did not want to ensure that Aleria would have a ruler after Nadia. Accusations were rampant, and nothing the monarchy did could stop the spread of lies about them.

    Feeding on human nature's desire for gossip and scandal, the lies grew into stories that no one would have believed, had it not been for the emotional method in which the "scandals" were announced. Soon even their hope that the storm would pass
  22. ArnaKyle

    ArnaKyle Jedi Master star 4

    Nov 12, 2000
    Looks good! I love the additions, and I await the familiar scenes as well... :D
  23. Mar17swgirl

    Mar17swgirl Chosen One star 7

    Dec 26, 2000
    Aaahh, the next post is here... :D Great job, Mely! I loved the little insight into the history... ;) Great stuff!
  24. DarthLothi

    DarthLothi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Sep 4, 2001
    Aleria sounds like a banana republic, Mely! Why would anyone want to be in charge of that mess?

    You're really lining up the characters for us to hate, aren't you?

    Of course, I want to kill Kerouac for hurting my wife! :mad:
  25. Mar17swgirl

    Mar17swgirl Chosen One star 7

    Dec 26, 2000
    ::snorts:: Banana republic. LOL! [face_laugh]
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