Beyond - Legends Insatiable - (Luke/Mara, angst) Complete! Epilogue posted 12 May

wouldn?t have his death contradict his life,
there are definitely some people who could learn from Mara on this one.

?But I didn?t earn it, Skywalker. It?s not mine.?
i can see how, in the midst of her grief, this could really hurt.

?Oh, that?s right. I forgot,? she sneered, rising to her feet. ?Holy Jedi Master has the monopoly on grief. His Sith of a Father dies on him and suddenly he?s an expert?
ouch!

You can?t help me Luke?. Mara pulled away, a strange expression on her face. ?Don?t try?


When Luke Skywalker made a decision, it was forever and binding. And he decided at that moment that he was going to help her whether she wanted him to or not.
gotta love Luke.

awesome chapter JadeLotus. i really liked how you were able to show both of their emotions and some underlying thoughts as well. i really enjoyed reading it.

paige

 

Bianka_Kenobi ? Thank you
UGH! I was afraid he'd gone off to the Eye of Palpatine and picked up the lonely bodysnatcher...
No, we?re not up to that point in time yet, I don?t think

Jade_eyes ? Thanks!
For Mara to think shedding tears is a weakness--instead of a release--not good to bottle it all up.
I can see Mara not having been allowed to cry or show how upset she was as a child. I think the Emperor may have drilled that lack of emotion into her and unfortunately, it stuck?
Loved the blend of Luke's gentleness and firmness. Really glad he's determined to help whether she wants him to or not. He's seen enough people sink into the oblivion of alcohol, felt enough guilt over feeling responsible for the deaths of others
Well, it will either be the very thing Mara needs to straighten herself out, or his controlling of the situation will drive her deeper into depression and only magnify the problem. Poor Luke, he has not idea what he?s getting into?

RedGold ? Thanks!
Mara is back on the drink but at least the death sticks don't seem present.
Ah, yes, Death Sticks. I considered using them actually. But the I think Luke would definitely know something was up?

Anakins_Force ? Thank you. Always wonderful to know you?re reading.
Poor Mara--I'm glad Luke has shown up for her, and that he's determined.
He?ll need it, I?m afraid?

academygrad88 ? Thank you

ginchy ? Thanks!
Mara's pain just bleeds out of the screen. You've done so well writing her, anger mixed with pain, regret, and alcohol.

Luke showing up and finding her, after 3 days in the bar is perfect, too. She wouldn't allow them to throw her out? I can see that, totally, in my mind.
I can?t imagine the barman would be much of a match for her Thank you!

SWLover ? Thank you
I absolutely loved that line. It just summed up one of Luke's most compelling qualities.
Thanks ? Luke?s always been so loveable dependable, hasn?t he?

MirandaFair ? Thank you!
Mara not crying is something I could see her definitely doing. Not wanting to show her vulnerability and despair.
Thanks - I?m not much of a crier myself, and I can totally understand Mara not wanting to let anyone see her pain. It?s not exactly healthy for her, either.
Perfectly Mara to start in with Luke, wanting an argument. Perfectly Luke to identify it and step back from it.
That?s one of the real differences between the, I think. Mara needs an outlet for her aggression and pain, whereas Luke is able to see things more objectively and knows that anger is almost never the answer. Thanks so much for the reply!

StarFighter5 ? Someone has to keep Mara from going back to where she was before Talon, and it seems that Luke is the only one who can do so.
He does have that hero complex, doesn?t he?

Golden_Jedi ? Mara's thoughts about Talon were very beautiful and the Mara/Luke interaction very believable.
Thank you!

Jedi Trace ? Thanks
I loved Luke in this chapter! Compassionate and stubborn, outgoing and restrained...all the things that are so endearing about him.
Luke does seem to straddle the line in terms of those emotions, doesn?t he. A healthy balance, it seems.

jade51999 ? Thank you
No Luke at the memorial service!?! You know, despite Mara's words about how she was glad he wasn't there...i bet that made her feel even more alone!!
Count on it. She?s used to seeing him popping up in those places, being there for her. I?m sure his absence would have made it even more difficult for her.
And the bar scene. Good Luke, Typical Skywalker--don't even give her a choice..
(That being said, I can see how a statement like that could backfire--she didn't have much of a choice with the Emperor now did she? ) [/i

 

First of all, I would like to say a huge thank you to those who nominated this fic in the Winter Fanfic Awards. It means so much to me. Especially the character noms for Talon - that was very unexpected and I can't express how chuffed I am. Thank you

And an extra thanks to ginchy for looking over this chapter

---

[b]Chapter 7 [/b]



Mara wasn't sure why Skywalker had brought her back to his apartment. Yet there she was, sprawled on his living room couch, the sun pouring in obtrusively through the huge transparisteel windows. Groaning, Mara rolled over in attempt to block the light, her head throbbing to immense proportions.

At least if you never stopped drinking, you generally could avoid the hangover, as she had done for the past several days she?d spent in a wonderfully numb stupor. Of course, Skywalker had forced her to sober up, which meant her symptoms had compounded exponentially and were now near-unbearable.

Perhaps that was why he?d brought her there, to force her into sobriety. [i]Damn do-gooding Jedi[/i], she thought vengefully. Mara rose on shaky, uncooperative legs, clutching the arm of the couch for support. She rubbed her eyes with her free hand until her vision cleared and the pain lessened somewhat. At least, she considered, the Force was helpful it that aspect, although he would never let Skywalker know it. She was the one always chiding him on unnecessary Force use, after all.

Slowly but diligently, Mara searched the apartment, ready to let Skywalker know exactly what she thought about his presumption. She had full intentions on upbraiding him on bringing her to his apartment, about him not being able to just leave her alone, like everyone else had known to do.

But strangely, he was nowhere to be found. Although Mara did discover a datapad by his comm. unit from Luke, explaining that he was busy with Jedi related business for most of the day, and would be back that evening.

Throwing away the datapad in disgust, Mara examined the room more thoroughly. As saintly as Skywalker was, there [i]had[/i] to be some kind of liquor stashed somewhere in the place.

It had been all too easy, really, to lose herself in the cool amber liquid, to numb herself from the pain. Three days she had spent in that bar, where people didn?t ask questions, where they didn?t ask how she was feeling, or what she was going to do, or to tell her that everything was going to be alright. All they?d ask was just what she wanted to drink.

It had hit her quickly, the blunting of her senses, the exquisite numbness of intoxication. After all, she hadn?t drunk anything remotely alcoholic in years, not since Talon?

But it had all come back to her, stronger and fuller than before. Three blissful days without worries, without memories. That was what she was rewarded with ? ignorance, apathy. It had felt so good. So much so that now she was sober, Mara?s mouth felt dry, parched without its smooth, refreshing texture and taste. Her stomach felt empty, although reason told her that was because it had been completely emptied in the early hours of the morning.

But the thought did not deter Mara as she diligently searched Skywalker apartment. Surely he had [i]something[/i], she thought; wine stashed away for that special occasion, a gift of brandy from his brother-in-law or an equally liquor-happy Corellian Skywalker seemed to surround himself with. [i]Anything[/i].

Mara grew desperate, leaving datapads, pots and pans, towels and other assorted goods in her wake as she searched every opening and enclosure of Skywalker?s small apartment without success. Sweat broke out on her forehead and Mara ran her hands through her hair shakily. It wasn't as if she needed it, she told herself. It was just a drink, to calm her nerves. To balance herself.

As Mara entered Luke?s bedroom she felt that niggling, annoying flag of conscience. She shouldn?t be looking through Skywalker?s personal things like this. Bu

 

Oh man, what a mess...much angst to follow I'm sure. But this is something I can see Mara doing, especially since she's really messed up from the loss of Talon. Very nice chapter.

 

Fantastic update. Mara needing a drink "to calm her nerves", that had me worried. You can't stay numb forever. I was so relieved when she had the release of tears. And feeling/ sensing the echo of his dreams--they must have been intense! Using Luke's desire in that way--was it only just an escape like the drink, or a subconscious fulfilling of her own dreams? I think right now she thinks it's just a way to forget, but later--she'll realize it meant more. But when he wakes up and finds her gone-- Each chapter just gets better, so it gets harder to wait for the next one.

 

Awesome chapter!!

Mara was acting like a true alcoholic, going through everything just for a drink... then she stumbles onto that dream... I was worried as soon as it happened.

She doesn't have the best track record when it comes to intimate relations, esp when she's got the itch going for drink or spice...

I'm so worry about Luke now. She used him, though he was willing, but she still used him.

 

Wow! What a fantastic chapter. I hope this isn't just a one night stand for Mara. That would break the Farmboy's heart.

I can't wait to see what happens next.

AG88

 

Brava...just brava!

Wicked chapter. You really brought us into Mara's alcholic and addicted mind. Great sense of urgency for her to get any fix to help numb her pain. I love how your write her.

Her search for the drink and "stumbling" over Luke's dream was brilliant! I knew if she wasn't going to get her fix one way, she'd go another route. Feel so sad for Luke though (even though he was willing), being used like that.

But in the morning she dressed without waking him and left.

Ah! Never has one sentence said (or not said) so much. The possibilites where this could go are endless. I'm guessing the "angst" in the subject title is hinting at where it's direction will be. I always look forward to your updates!

Congrats on your noms!

 

*winces*

Yeah, I imagine that's gonna be a problem. If she was seeking nothing more than a physical release and he was thinking it was more than that.....definitely gonna be awkward.


Excellent chapter, JL! You did a fabulous job portraying Mara's 'need' for a fix and then her denial that she needed it. It was completely believable that she would fall back into old addictive patterns when in so much pain. Let's just hope she doesn't stumble across a spice dealer.


And congratulations on the noms!

 

Your description of addiction is very realistic. The addict usually rationalizes their need for the drug to convince themselves that they haven't done anything wrong.

Mara's not going to be able to walk away from Luke that easily, not like she did with the other men she distracted herself with.

I think that the situation has just gotten worse.

 

That was a heck of a chapter! Woah! Can only imagine how Luke will react when he gets up and faces the music. Mara, girl, what are you thinking? He was the perfect thing to cure all past issues and problems. Not too worried though - Luke will find her.

 

Uh oh..

Now that isn't good

She's falling back into the cycle--like in the first post--the alcohol, the sex...and i bet the spice will come next...

poor Mara
oh stars poor Luke!

sigh.
Great chapter !

 

WHAT?!! that's .... interesting....

This is getting really complicated! Can't wait to see what happens!

 

Mara is back into the cycle of destruction again. Unfortunately, Mara has to make the decision to get out of it and I don't see that happening soon.

 

Well, you already know how much I love this chapter! But I just love how you write Mara...you really get inside that gal's head.

I just feel sorry for her, and Luke...

But I'm ready for the angsty ride, I'm sure is to come!

Wonderful job, JL, and thanks for letting me beta!

 

whoa poor Luke! this can only end in tears...

paige

 

Again, Oh lord what have you done Mara?

I understand why she wants to be numb, but the longer she suppresses her emotions the harder she'll fall when she does grieve. And her seducing Luke is just another way of suppressing, suppressing her grief with lust. I sense much heart ache in the next bit.

Fantastic post, I'm eagerly anticipating the more

 

oooohhhh rejected
that one is going to hurt Luke in the morning

 

You're exceeding all my expectations here. First Talon dies, then Mara fails to respond to the magical healing power of Skywalker sex? What is fic coming to?

 

Man, I wish I had Luke around when I had the stomach flu last week!!

I agree with Dunc, what is this fic coming to?!? All fanfic readers know that sex with the Farmboy is the cure for all that ails you!!

You know, I was thinking about Luke's little slip where he says Talon is very perceptive.

Oh, please tell me that the NR faked Talon's death because they knew there was a contract on his life.

How did they do that? Ummm... maybe they grew a clone and ummm... maybe they put ysalamiri around the real Talon so Mara couldn't sense him. Huh? Is that it? No? Well, it was a thought.

Please hurry and update!! I can't wait to see the next angsty chapter.

AG88

 

Trouble.
Trouble for doing for the wrong reason.
Trouble for leaving the way she did.
Trouble.
7

 

Mara grew desperate, leaving datapads, pots and pans, towels and other assorted goods in her wake as she searched every opening and enclosure of Skywalker?s small apartment without success. Sweat broke out on her forehead and Mara ran her hands through her hair shakily. It wasn't as if she needed it, she told herself. It was just a drink, to calm her nerves.

Sadly, I had a friend whose older brother was an alcoholic. The family couldn't have rubbing alcohol or hair spray in the house.

Maybe Luke can keep her from spinning away entirely? Could it be that she got something other than temporary comfort from his company?

 

I hope she not changing one addiction for another... Poor Mara, poor Luke! This doesn't look good.

 

Oh my. That was a really nice description of their intimacy, and Luke is just the best guy. I hope she realizes that before it's too late.

Great update--I feel bad for Mara, but my sympathies are mainly with Luke.

 

Boy am I glad I finally ventured from the Saga boards to Beyond. To think I was missing a story like this! If you have a PM list, please add me!!