Fun ITT we post random book lines/quotes out of context

‘VERMICIOUS KNIDS!’ he cried. ‘That’s what they were!’ He sounded the K … K’NIDS, like that.
‘I thought they were grobes,’ Charlie said. ‘Those oozy-woozy grobes you were telling the President about.’
‘Oh, no, I just made those up to scare the White House,’ Mr Wonka answered. ‘But there is nothing made up about Vermicious Knids, believe you me. They live, as everybody knows, on the planet Vermes, which is eighteen thousand four hundred and twenty-seven million miles away and they are very, very clever brutes indeed. The Vermicious Knid can turn itself into any shape it wants. It has no bones. Its body is really one huge muscle, enormously strong, but very stretchy and squishy, like a mixture of rubber and putty with steel wires inside. Normally it is egg-shaped, but it can just as easily give itself two legs like a human or four legs like a horse. It can become as round as a ball or as long as a kite-string. From fifty yards away, a fully grown Vermicious Knid could stretch out its neck and bite your head off without even getting up!’
‘Bite off your head with what?’ said Grandma Georgina. ‘I didn’t see any mouth.’
‘They have other things to bite with,’ said Mr Wonka darkly.

 

Hooray- my mother in law is minus two years old!

 

Only one creature could have duplicated the expressions on their faces, and that would be a pigeon who has heard not only that Lord Nelson has got down off his column but has also been seen buying a 12-bore repeater and a box of cartridges.

 

I want Olympus destroyed. Every throne crushed to rubble

 

Why, the only puzzle worth solving: the complete and utter destruction of the Rebellion.

 

As I should point out, you’re an enemy to the Alliance.
Is there some reason I shouldn’t start a fire in that ridiculous yacht of Lando’s right now?

 

Jedi or not, I'll kill him!

 

So, what can I do for you, Fett? Need another carbonite table for your Hutt buddies?

 

"Check it out, if I pitch it a little lower: Luke, I am your father! Sounds just like him, right? Simba, you have forgotten me. This is CNN."

 

You know Star Wars stuff?


Kid, I practically invented Star Wars stuff.

 

After fathering the Fates, Zeus pulled Themis aside and said, “You know what? I’m not sure this marriage is going to work out. If we keep having more kids like those Fates, we’re all going to be in trouble. What’s next—the Three Doomsday Bombs? The Three Little Pigs?”
Themis pretended to be disappointed, but actually she was relieved. She didn’t want any more kids, and she definitely didn’t want to get sucked down the tornado of Zeus’s throat.
“You’re right, my lord,” she said. “I will gladly step aside and let you take another wife.”
Hestia witnessed all this, and she was thinking: I never want that to happen to me. With my luck, I would marry some god and give birth to the Three Stooges. No, the possibility is too horrible.

 

Hera, do not dare take credit for this! You have caused at least as many problems as you have fixed.

 

Poseidon tried everything to win her heart: saltwater taffy, a serenade of whale songs, a bouquet of sea cucumbers, a Portuguese man-of-war festooned with pretty red ribbons. Amphitrite refused all his advances. Whenever he got too close, she blushed and swam away.
Finally she got so spooked that she fled for good. Poseidon searched for her everywhere, with no luck. He began to think that he’d never see her again.
His heart sank deeper than a navy submersible. He moped around his palace, crying like a humpback whale, confusing all the sea mammals, and giving the giant squids migraines.
Eventually the sea creatures elected this god named Delphin to go talk to Poseidon and see what was wrong. Delphin was the immortal king of dolphins and a good friend of the sea god’s. What did Delphin look like? A dolphin. Duh.
So Delphin swam into the throne room and chattered in Dolphinese:
“What’s up, P-man? Why the face?”
“Oh, it’s Amphitrite.” Poseidon heaved a sigh. “I love her, but she ran away!”
“Huh.” Delphin thought that was a pretty stupid reason to mope around.
“You do realize there are forty-nine other Nereids, right?”
"I want Amphitrite!”
“Yeah, well, that’s a bummer,” Delphin said. “Look, your moaning and groaning is messing up everybody’s sonar. Just this morning two blue whales got in a head-on collision and backed up the Aegean morning commute for miles. So how about I find this lady Amphitrite and convince her to marry you?”
Poseidon’s tears dried immediately, which was impressive since he was underwater. “You could do that for me?”
“I’m a dolphin,” Delphin chattered. “I have a huge brain. Back soon.”

 

"Spare me." Athena stepped close to me, and I could feel her aura of power making my skin itch. "I once warned you, Percy Jackson, that to save a friend you would destroy the world. Perhaps I was mistaken. You seem to have saved both your friends and the world. But think very carefully about how you proceed from here. I have given you the benefit of the doubt. Don't mess up."

 

“There is only one thing that I am truly sorry for,” Alexander said, after polishing off his first helping. “I’ve deprived you of Unicorns.”
Elena burst into peals of laughter, Lily giggled, Hob and Robin chortled, and even Rose unbent enough to chuckle a little.
“Don’t be,” Elena told him, as he glanced from one to another of them, looking utterly bewildered. “It’s a little like being deprived of fawning, brainless lapdogs or a surfeit of Turkish Delight. One is sweet, two are amusing, but after you’ve been inundated by them a while, you start to think uncharitably of deep ponds and burlap bags.”
“And no matter how many beds of lilies and roses you put out for them, they will eat my new peas,” Lily added, in such an aggrieved tone of voice that they all laughed again.

 

He would not mourn for the lives he had taken. But for the loss of his former self, the boy who had dreamed of becoming a Jedi, he was unable to hold back the tears that streamed down his cheeks.

 

"I will give no Word; but what is in thy stomach to do when the dhole come?"
"They must swim the Waingunga. I thought to meet them with my knife in the shallows, the Pack behind me; and so stabbing and thrusting, we a little might turn them down–stream, or cool their throats."
"The dhole do not turn and their throats are hot," said Kaa. "There will be neither Manling nor Wolf–cub when that hunting is done, but only dry bones."
"Alala! If we die, we die. It will be most good hunting. But my stomach is young, and I have not seen many Rains. I am not wise nor strong. Hast thou a better plan, Kaa?"
"I have seen a hundred and a hundred Rains. Ere Hathi cast his milk–tushes my trail was big in the dust. By the First Egg, I am older than many trees, and I have seen all that the Jungle has done."
"But this is new hunting," said Mowgli. "Never before have the dhole crossed our trail."
"What is has been. What will be is no more than a forgotten year striking backward. Be still while I count those my years."
For a long hour Mowgli lay back among the coils, while Kaa, his head motionless on the ground, thought of all that he had seen and known since the day he came from the egg. The light seemed to go out of his eyes and leave them like stale opals, and now and again he made little stiff passes with his head, right and left, as though he were hunting in his sleep. Mowgli dozed quietly, for he knew that there is nothing like sleep before hunting, and he was trained to take it at any hour of the day or night.
Then he felt Kaa's back grow bigger and broader below him as the huge python puffed himself out, hissing with the noise of a sword drawn from a steel scabbard.
"I have seen all the dead seasons," Kaa said at last, "and the great trees and the old elephants, and the rocks that were bare and sharp–pointed ere the moss grew. Art thou still alive, Manling?"
"It is only a little after moonset," said Mowgli. "I do not understand—"
"Hssh! I am again Kaa. I knew it was but a little time. Now we will go to the river, and I will show thee what is to be done against the dhole."

 

**** the empire

 

Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
No one ever said elves are nice.
Elves are bad.

 

Zannah’s challenge had to come from her own initiative, as a reaction to something he did. Otherwise, it was worthless.

 

The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo¹, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.

¹Cool, but not necessarily up to date.

 

For twenty years she had served as his loyal apprentice. Now her time as a pupil was about to end. Whatever the mission might bring, she had decided this would be the last time she answered to Darth Bane.

 

"You chastise the dark side as if it is an evil path, laughable for its malevolence. But do not confuse it with evil. And do not confuse the light as being the product of benevolence. The Jedi of old were cheats and liars. Power-hungry maniacs operating under the guise of a holy monastic order. Moral crusaders whose diplomacy was that of the lightsaber. The dark side is honest. The dark side is direct. It is the knife in the front rather than the one stuck in your back."

 

You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow.

 

‘They’re slowing, Mr Vimes!’ Jenkins called out.
‘What?’
‘I reckon they’re slowing down, I said!’
‘Good.’
‘So what’re you going to do when we catch them?’
‘Er...’ Vimes hadn’t given this a lot of thought. But he recalled a very bad woodcut he’d once seen in a book about pirates.
‘We’ll swing across on to them with our cutlasses in our teeth?’ he said.
‘Really?’ said Jenkins. ‘That’s good. I haven’t seen that done in years. Only ever seen it done once, in fact.’
‘Oh, yes?’
‘Yes, this lad’d seen the idea in a book and he swung across into the other ship’s rigging with his cutlass clenched, as you say, between his teeth.’
‘Yes?’
‘Topless Harry, we wrote on his coffin.’
‘Oh.’
‘I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a soft-boiled egg after you’ve picked up your knife and sli—’
‘All right, I see the point. What do you suggest?’
‘Grapnels. You can’t beat grapnels. Catch ’em on the other ship and just pull ’em towards you.’
‘And you’ve got grapnels?’
‘Oh, yes. Saw some only today, in fact.’
‘Good. Then—’
‘As I recall,’ Jenkins went on relentlessly, ‘it was when your Sergeant Detritus was chucking stuff over the side and he said, “What shall we do with dese bendy, hooky things, sir?” and
someone, can’t recall his name just at this minute, said, “They’re dead weight, throw them over.”’
‘Why didn’t you say something?’
‘Oh, well, I didn’t like to,’ said Jenkins. ‘You were doing so well.’