Fun ITT we post random Simpsons quotes

"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times!?!?!.....you stupid monkey!"

 

I didn't earn it, I don't need it, but if they miss one payment I'll raise hell!

 

Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these back-door shenanigans. Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

 

You, President? This is the greatest country in the world. We've got a whole system set up to prevent people like you from ever becoming president. Quit your daydreaming, melonhead!

 

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

 

You could quote all of Last Exit to Springfield, basically.

 

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

 

"Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Hey, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?"

 

"Now Homer, I know what you're thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now, it doesn't take a "whiz" to know that you're looking out for "Number One". Well, listen to me, and you'll make a big splash very soon."

 

Don't have a cow, man.

 

People, please. We're all frightened and horny, but we can't let some killer dolphins keep us from living and scoring!

 

"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"

 

That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough! I'm going to clown college!

 

The kiss of death! That's all I need.

 

DantheJedi, your lifelong dream was to make a Simpsons references thread and you did it 6 months ago remember?

 

"Weaseling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel."

This reminds me of my old Simpsons thread. That thing went forever.

 

I thought I made a Simpsons thread of some type a while back. If the mods wish, they can merge this one and that one, if they want.

 

"Why do people run from me?"

 

"Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers."

 

"You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is never try!"

 

I am the lizard queen!

 

"Linguo IS dead..."

 

This is like that movie Memento now.

 

“Now I realize this has all been a waste of time”