Fun ITT we post random Simpsons quotes

Springfield Cops are on the take,
But what do expect for the money we make?
Whether in a car or on a horse,
We don't mind using excessive force!
Bad cops, bad cops,
Bad cops, bad cops...

 

Wait! Did you know there's a direct correlation between the decline of spirograph and the rise in gang activity? Think about it!

 

Oh, a sarcasm detector. Oh, that's a real useful invention.
[BOOM]

 

Smithers, who was that corpse?

Homer Simpson, sir. *sniff* One of the finest... bravest men ever to grace Sector 7G. *sob* ... I'll cross him off the list.

 

Hey, what is that?
It's an inanimate carbon rod!

 

Cartoons have writers?!

 

What do you have to say to all them Marge Simpson wannabes out there who wish to suppress David's doodle?

 

You made a big mistake, Skinner.

Well, *heh*, so did you. You got an ex-Green Beret mad. ... Copyright expired.

 

You leave tomorrow for our state-wide Model UN, so this is our last chance to bone up. And bone we will.

 

Oh really? So you like that I made your favorite superhero a heroin addicted jazz critic who's not radioactive?

 

homer you are as dumb as a mule and twice as ugly , if a stranger offers you a ride i say take it

 

... Lousy traumatic childhood.

 

Coming up next: A new fad that's sweeping the nation, wasting food

 

Stickin' Together Is What Good Waffles Do

 

Can I ask you, is it, is it true you once worked ninety-six hours straight?
Oh, yes. It was horrible. I'll tell you. By the end I thought I was a hummingbird of some kind.

 

You're all talk, Hamill! You never even finished Jedi school!

 

Luke, be a Jedi tonight...

 

How much will you give me for this?

Probably nothing, but let us see... Oh, handwritten script for Star Wars by George Lucas? Princess Leia’s anti-jiggle breast tape? Film reel labeled “Alternate Ending: Luke’s Father is Chewbacca”?! OOH! OOOOOH! ... I’ll give you five dollars for the box.

 

Junk. Junk. The airplane's upside down. Stradi-WHO-vius?

 

I'll admit I used the city treasury to fund the murder of my enemies, but as Gabbo would say, I'm a bad widdle boy

 

Aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him is a knock at me, and I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts.
...Go watch your cartoon, dear.

 

When's the dog going to get his operation?

Uh... later. First I want to tell you about the most wonderful place in the world: Doggie Heaven. In Doggie Heaven, there's mountains of bones, and you can't turn around without sniffing another dog's butt. And all the best dogs are there: Old Yeller, and about eight Lassies, and-

Is there a Doggie Hell?

Well, of course, there couldn't be a Heaven if there weren't a Hell.

Who's in there?

Oh... Hitler's dog... and that dog Nixon had... what's his name? Chester?

Checkers.

Yeah... One of the Lassies is in there too. The mean one. The one that mauled Timmy.

 

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they make up to scare kids, like the Boogeyman or Michael Jackson

 

Some men hunt for sport,
Others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for,
Is an outfit that looks good...

 

Wait a minute: Bart's teacher is named "Krabappel"?! I've been calling her "Crandall"! Why didn't someone tell me? Oh, I've been making an idiot out of myself!