Fun ITT we post random Simpsons quotes

Prayer: the last refuge of a scoundrel.

 

Excuse me, are you a student at this school?

I think it's pretty obvious that I am. Go "School"!

 

I passed, I passed, I... KISSED THE TEACHER!

 

Let's go crazy - BROADWAY STYLE!

YEAH!

Springfield, Springfield,
It's a hell of a town!
The school yard's up and
the shopping mall's down.
The stray dogs go to the animal pound.

Springfield, Springfield,
Springfield, Springfield,
New York, New York,

New York is thataway, man.

Thanks kid!

It's a hell of a town!

 

Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your restroom, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels!
Thank you, come again!

 

Oh no Beta!

 

Now, I'm here to answer any questions you children may have about the monorail.
Can it outrun The Flash?
You bet.
Can Superman outrun The Flash?
Eh, sure, why not.

 

How do you find the defendant?

He's
Guilty of mayhem; Exposure, indecent;
Freaked-out behavior (both chronic and recent);
Drinking and driving; narcotics possession -
And that's just page one of his ten page confession!

I should put you away
Where you can't kill or maim us.
But this is L. A.,
And you're rich and famous!

I'm checkin' in!
(He's checkin' in!)
I'm checkin' in!
(Checkin', checkin' in!)
No more pills or alcohol.
No more pot or demerol.
No more stinkin' fun at all!
I'm checkin' in!

He's checkin' in!
He's checkin' in!
No more lookin' pale and thin.
No more bugs beneath your skin!

HEY! That's just my aspirin!

Chuck it out - you're checkin' in!

 

You know, I was hexed by a troll, and a Leprechaun cured that right up.

Hey, you know what's even better is Jesus. He's like six Leprechauns.

Yeah, but a lot harder to catch. Go with the leprechaun

 

Don't feel bad, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year.

 

I'm sure Storytime Village is fun for everyone, from ages 8 to... ... God only knows.

 

Dad, you killed the zombie Flanders!
He was a zombie?

 

Ladies, please. All of our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine.

 

You know Homer Simpson?
Yeah, nice guy. Play poker with him.
Beat him up.
You got it.

 

Your character provides the comic relief, like oh... Marlon Brando in ‘Apocalypse Now’.

 

You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a "kwyjibo" is!
"Kwyjibo." Uh--A big, dumb, balding, North American ape with no chin.
And a short temper!
I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape!
Uh-oh. Kwyjibo on the loose!

 

Putting speed holes in my car. Makes it go faster.

 

So, say in Argentina, and Rand McNally, all their water goes backwards?
Uh-huh. In fact, in Rand McNally, people wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.
Cool!

 

“Keep on truckin’”? What does that mean?

I didn’t know then and I don’t know now.

 

Bart, don't use the Touch of Death on your sister!

 

I’m a white male aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me, no matter HOW dumb my suggestions are!

 

Why don't you use real cows?
Cows don't look like cows on film. Gotta use horses.
What do you do if you want something to look like a horse?
Eh. Usually we just tape a buncha cats together.

 

Smithers, this beer isn't working. I don't feel any younger or funkier

 

Hail, brothers! Coranon Silaria

 

You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!