Fun ITT we post random TV show quotes out of context

Giving me a name tag that read, 'Elim Garak – Former Cardassian Oppressor' was hardly polite.

 

Even the lies?
Especially the lies.

 

If all your little advertisements aren't purged from our systems by the time I get back from the Gamma Quadrant, I will come to Quark's, and believe me, I will have fun.

 

Actually, I'm not sure if Constable Odo has a mother.

 

I can't believe you're defending him, Quark. You're his worst enemy.
Guess that's the closest thing he has to a friend.

 

Let me guess: you're either lost or desperately searching for a good tailor.

 

I work for one of the nation-states of this era, Great Britain, which is battling various other nations in what is called the Cold War. This apartment, my clothes, weapons, even my valet were provided to me by my government.
I think I joined the wrong intelligence service.

 

Tell Lane you're moving out and get your butt over here!

 

Hmm, this one's done in different handwriting.
Oh, uh, I wrote that one after Bart somehow put this tattoo on my butt.

 

You're a smart feller, Dad.

And you're a fart smeller, Meg.

 

Dad?
Junior?

 

I've seen Westerns. I know how to speak cowboy. Leave the talking to me. Dry white wine and a Perrier, please. And what about you two chaps?
Rimmer, what Westerns have you seen? "Butch Accountant And The Yuppie Kid"?

 

Hey, they were calling you Tolstoy. I think my father has some of your books. Didn't you write that really big fat one about war?

And peace.

My father thinks you're great.

Your dad's an imbecile.

 

Contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy.

 

Demons run when a good man goes to war.

 

Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
Don't taunt the fear demon.
Why? Can he hurt me?
No, it's just ... tacky.

 

Life isn't a fairy tale, it's a competitive sport.

 

What you've done is more difficult, and far more dangerous, than you realize.
And what's that?
You've impressed me.

 

"Hogan, I am very impressed by your attitude. You're being very helpful."
"Thank you, sir."
"As a matter of fact, I would be even more impressed if the whole thing were not a lie!"

 

And you always know when a man's telling a lie? How did you acquire this magical power?
I grew up in King's Landing.

 

Rule #1: The Doctor lies.

 

Beautiful, beautiful. No animals, no people, no worries. Just what the doctor ordered. Right, Doctor?
I couldn't have prescribed better. We are one weary ship.

 

What this country needs right now is a Doctor.

 

One of our young Amazon girls will escort him to his country, and then return to Paradise Island.
But all the girls will want that task.
I know. To forestall any ill feelings, I have planned a tournament of athletic games, by which I alone will determine the strongest, nimblest, and most likely candidate for the assignment.

 

"The results: a tie."