Fun ITT we post random TV show quotes out of context

"Welcome to the Mystery Shack, where we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'."

 

"Why did you resign?"

 

Technically it's, "We have to go back!" You're fired from your job as the Internet.

 

"Because this happens every day in this city. I didn't see a crowd of reporters at 163 and Florence two days ago when Conchita Escovito was killed by a stray bullet while she sitting at her kitchen table feeding her baby girl. You're damn right I had my assistant call your editors and news directors because I knew that me being here could get you here. Now, look. I don't blame you because you don't go to the scene of every shooting. When something happens every day, it stops being news. I'm no saint above this myself. The only reason I knew those two names I just mentioned is because they're ongoing cases. You ask me who was murdered on this day six months ago? I wouldn't know. Not their names, anyway. I tend not to forget the faces."

 

"Dear Homeowner, can we kill you? - The Murderers."
"Dear Murderers, no you may NOT! - The Homeowner."

 

"Hey guess what? Nobody cares who would win in crazy fantasy fist fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden!"

 

"These pretzels are making me thirsty"

 

No soup for you!

 

"When two lesbians dance...who leads"

 

"Sapphire and Steel have been assigned."

 

Sucker! Competitive violence! That's why you're here!

 

From Seinfeld, when Jerry and George were trying to figure out if George was in a relationship or just friends with a girl.

Jerry: Saturday nights, do you have to ask her out, or is it understood that you'll do something together?
George: It's understood.
Jerry: She's coming over to your place, do you clean the toilet?
G: Yes...
J: Just wipe it down, or do you scrub?
G: I scrub.
J: You, my friend, have got yourself a relationship.

 

"Groovy."

 

"Make it so".

 

"What are you in for?"

"Everything."

 

"President? Do you know how much power I'd have to give up to be President? That's right, conspiracy buff, I just spent 75 million dollars on a fake presidential campaign, just to tick Superman off!"

 

It's crazy out there, Dave, I feel like I'm under siege, like Stephen Segal in that movie, what was that called?
Under Siege, sir?
No, that's not it.
Under Siege 2, sir?
No, not that one.
Under Siege 3?
That's the one!
Sir, there is no Under Siege 3.
A man can dream, can't he, Dave?

 

Meathead, Laverne, and Opie: Great Filmmakers of Our Time

 

"Citizen's arrest! Citizen's arrest!"

 

-She misquoted me, your honor.
-She paraphrased you.

 

The anomaly, my ship, my crew; I suppose you're worried about your fish, too. If it puts your mind at ease you've saved humanity ... once again.

 

I'm not talking about the puppy.

 

"I:m so sorry I slammed you in the gut. Jeez, that's how Houdini died."

"Houdini died of AIDS."

"No! Why do you always say that?"

 

"I threw a rock at him....it was a big rock."

 

"Grodd. Hate. Banana."