JCC JCC Writers’ Sanctuary

Secret lives of tugboats? Do explain

 

The Secret Lives of Tugboats is a novel that I’ve been working on for awhile now. It’s sort of in the vein of Thomas the Tank Engine, but for an adult audience. It’s set in Halifax, Nova Scotia and centres on the lives and relationships of a fleet sentient tugboats and their crews.

 

Sounds interesting, hope it works out for you. Heck I wrote a script about penguins that involved their society, mail service, hockey games, and war against Moose all set in Alaska.

So personification is always kinda fun

 

Very cool concept @Chancellor_Ewok

original too



Id be interested in reading a plot idea/outline

 

I don’t usually write a plot outline. I usually just dive in, and pull it out of my ass as I go, but if you want to read, here it is.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/23544868/chapters/56476102

 

So I finally got detailed feedback from my editor today on what I very much hope will be my debut novel. I haven't read her scene-by-scene breakdown as yet, but her email was very encouraging.

She said she loved it. She said she was on the edge of her seat reading it; that I made her laugh, gasp and even cry at the right moments; and she said she cannot wait to read the next story, which I had told her before was already written, albeit in draft form.

I had to re-read the email several times because I was in genuine shock. I knew the story had issues, but I had no idea that it was any good. As of tonight, I will get down to work going through her scene-by-scene breakdown and making corrections/alterations where we agree that changes are needed. I have a new impetus to make this story the best it can possibly be. This thing may actually get published now.

 

Meant to comment @CairnsTony but that's great. Hope it works out.

Is the sanctuary share thing of allowing others to read our ideas still a thing?

 

Yeah, I keep meaning to post links to my blog, but I keep forgetting. This is my non-fiction project, thus far, The Museum of Everything.

Confronting Slavery in America
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/04/20/confronting-slavery-in-america/

Living on the Edge of a Brave New World
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/04/22/living-on-the-edge-of-a-new-world/

The Origins of Slavery in the British Empire
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/04/26/the-origins-of-slavery-in-the-british-empire/

Thinking Like an Economist
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/05/03/thinking-like-an-economist/

Colonizing the New World
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/05/10/colonizing-the-new-world/

The Division of Labour
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/05/24/the-division-of-labour/

The Thirteen Colonies
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/06/07/the-thirteen-colonies/

The “Lost” Cultures of North America
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/06/21/the-lost-cultures-of-north-america/

 

@AutumnLight91 Thank you. I haven't done any of the more nitty-gritty changes yet- chapter one definitely needs work- but I am confident that this story is 90% there. Some of her scene-by-scene criticisms were a matter of taste, and I probably won't act on all of them, but other changes are more structural.

She has offered to forego a line edit as the second pass in October, because she was so impressed with the prose. Instead, we have agreed that she can do a second developmental edit pass on my revisions.

I'm also hoping to book myself on an online Edit and Pitch course later this year, so that I can perfect the tricky process of pitching this story to agents and publishers.

 

I'm reading about screenplay selling. It gets confusing

 

So I've started a new script...a Christian pirate movie. Odd I know, but its what it is. You'll see how it turns out. (Hopefully)

isn't there a spot in here for others to read out stuff? I forgot where. I wrote a script backstory thing on the Lady Dimitrescu character last month as I was stuck on a script so I could keep my creativeness flowing. any want to read it? I can't really submit it to anything as its not my idea. was more of an exercise for me.

 

Latest update from my blog

On the Edge of the Sea of Stories
https://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/07/05/on-the-edge-of-the-sea-of-stories/

 

Ahoy me mateys!
I feel its an appropriate greeting considering I just got done with my pirate script! You see the past 12 days we've basically got shut down on base with like a quarantine. So I took the time to write this script fully out.

Some details while I wrote it:

-The title was A Pirate Ship Named The Gospel, but while writing I changed the title. It is now The Lion Whelp.

-Even though it was intended to be more "Christian" than "Pirate", I still consider it part of my Christian movies I've written even though its now a more full fledged pirate movie. Probably the most piratey you could have in some ways though unlike anything I know of lol.

-When writing a character in the middle, I knew I needed a pirate song. Something sea shanty and big to be worthy of its pirate flair. Well, I originally invisioned a character a certain way, but had trouble naming her. Well when I thought of a name combination, I knew I had to change her up a bit. See, I was basing her off a character I have in mind for a different project, so she was derived from that. Now, she's totally different. Thing is, she became such fun to write she went from just that part to being a major side character in the second half. Heck, I've imagined now spinoffs just focusing on her that would be full on pirate movies. And you know what, I'm fine with doing them too.
I didn't even write the song, I just set it up for it. I was trying hard to think of it, but just gave up and figured someone else more musically inclined can do that. Ha. I have it all set up at least.

-I did want to add more to the script, but I chose not to put the things I thought of in as it didn't really help with the flow. Yes, I could of written them anyway, but I'm a firm believer that I don't want to write or film "deleted scenes". Nothing should be deleted if its important to the story, so I'm not even going to bother writing it if I feel it would be cut out anyway. Don't want to waste the space or energy when I can have more of what I do need in.
So at 105 pages, I'm pretty certain its the way I want it to be. I'll wait awhile before I relook at it for editing.

I'm pretty stoked about this honestly. One of the best stories I've done actually. I'm quite proud of it.

 

Just got the email it's registered with the WAGe! So now next is library of congress for copyright

 

Hello there. So I just read one of David Goyer's script versions of Batman Begins for continued screenwriting learning Even though it's been years since I've seen the film, I've watched it several times in the past so I remember it pretty well to compare it. I'm only going off this one draft but I wanted to read it for learning more about scripts. The draft of this though the film does follow it pretty closely, but with lots of differences at the end mostly. So its interesting to read of how it reads in this state versus what we got on film. Plus it's 150 pages.

For instance:
1. The beginning is essentially the same in verbatim. Almost, young Bruce isn't playing finders keepers with Rachel. She's a couple years older than him and teasing him. Though that is something I noticed off the bat, the grammatical things and changes in the script. Like Gordon is 29 when he's a beat cop draping his coat on young Bruce, but should be then 49 when Bruce first comes back to Gotham, but is younger than that by a couple years. Plus some spelling mistakes. I know it's not a full biggy, but it's something I pointed out to myself of QUOTE "errors" I see for myself in continuity.

2. I don't member Bruce being mentioned if he went to colleges in the film, but it was said several times how he dropped out, being asked if he'll continue; stuff I don't think is in the final film version.

3. I don't know if Batman Triumphant is online, but that would be an interesting take to read. If you don't know that was the planned sequel to Batman & Robin. In it Scarecrow does indeed infect the watersupply. Also Robin and Batgirl dies, and Madonna was to appear as Harley Quinn which would of been Joker's daughter if I member. Course that was never made, but the Scarecrow plot line was put into this film.

4. There's the scene at the docks when Batman first appears. One change is that he first appears to the Judge in the limo, with the "nice coat" line being in the early part of the scene, with the whole fight later. That's actually a good change I'd say to put that at the end when he apprehends Falcone. In the film you don't see him as Batman yet until he pulls him out the limo, but the script its at the beginning. Makes it more funny and impactful to have it at the end. But I wish they kept this from the script. Falcone grabs his shotgun goes to the fray where Batman has defeated the goons, points the gun at his hand. Once he asks who he is, Batman turns around with the shotgun shells in his hand and says "He's Batman." Falcone tries pulling the trigger and nothing. That's actually pretty cool and sad that wasn't in.

5. A lot of the fight scenes are described in detail. Not hugely overbearing but there. But he had a 150 page script, and I guess studio was okay with it. Most of it did translate to the screen. But what's with the emphasized words? Like " Bruce HAMMERS the nail", "We cut to Flass holding a LIQUOR BOTTLE" and the like? That was all over so not sure if that's a styling thing or what.

6. A few scenes that are in the film are different in locations in script. Like most notable the "didn't you get the memo" line was from Earle to Fox at the birthday party, not at Wayne Enterprises. And when Fox said it back it was him overlooking the train section trying to rebuild it from the carnage days before. Or when Batman gives the photos of the judge to Rachel its in her apartment, not saving her inbthe train station. So interesting things got changed around.

7. The biggest thing is the ending. It's similar in the movie with massive differences. Biggest is Gordon doesn't use the Batmobile. (Disappointing I know.) Batman stops the train by hooking his grappler in the wheels jamming them basically. And the whole lines of "I'm not going to kill you...but I don't have to save you" is not in. None of that. He barely escapes Ra's death grip on his neck and flies off more to get away leaving him behind doomed to his fate more than outright leaving him. Plus Rachel doesn't point out that the mask is Bruce, that's omitted in the script.

So overall, that's the highlights of this version. It would be interesting to find out why they did the changes they made and how'd they come up with them. It was good to see how it read, then picturing it how it came out on screen

 

I could be wrong, as I don’t know what much about screenplay writing, but I think reason for the emphasized words is so that the actors can quickly scan through scrip and know what they are supposed to be doing in each scene.


The Epic of Gilgamesh
://tlongportfolio.wordpress.com/2021/07/26/the-epic-of-gilgamesh/

 

I am in the land of proof-reading and editing right now. Money from my Kickstarter should hit the bank any day now so I need to finish in order to move on with hiring a formatter, etc.
God I hate going back through your own book over and over again.

 

Kickstarter?

 

Yeah, asked for $1,400, got $1,832. Now the way things work that means I’ll actually break even so my gamble on not asking for my real goal worked out. It’s closed now but here’s the pitch...

 

No thanks, tbh.

But I do need advise on which writing software I should use; I'm currently using Dropbox.

I may consider getting into a JCC writing community later on. Is it on Discord? Slack? Well, regardless, I just don't know much about it and I may be joining an association, if all goes to plan, so I'd rather think things through.

 

A Slack or a Discord is not a bad idea for the original purpose / idea behind this thread.

 

I could perhaps make one if other people want it.

That being said, I'm not "there" yet as I only just discovered this thread to ask around (the question being what writing software I should use).

But hey, I like JCC and all so it sounds interesting.

 

I would suggest that it depends on what you’re doing. I write essays/blog posts and several novels, so I just use Word, but if you’re writing screenplays, there is specialized software for that and I am given to understand that some producers won’t look at a script that hasn’t been written on certain platforms.

 

Oh, 'cause I'm trying to avoid Google Docs and Microsoft Word. They just... don't... do it for me. I'm writing a novel as well as a web novel and I just can't stomach writing on them.

I mean, I will if there are no other options, but I'd gladly switch to another writing software, tbh.

 

Well, if your only criteria for not using Word, is personal preference, than you can probably find a writing app on the App Store or Google Play that fits your needs.